Lines you'll never catch FIM characters saying.

[RDDash 19,189]

10 hours ago, cmarston1 said:

Spike: Gee ,it sure is boring around here.

Twilight: My boy, this peace is what all true warriors strive for.

Twilight: What are you talking about? We get invaded all year round by evil  soul sucking queens, evil tyrannical kings, psychotic clowns of chaos, edgelord unicorns, angry magic sucking centaurs, and psychotic school children. Oh my God Spike we've sunken so low 

Edited March 30, 2019 by R.D.Dash

[Kings&Hooves14 616]

Twilight: Fluttershy? What in Equestria are you dressed up as?

Fluttershy: Pony petaQ! Don't you recognize a Klingon when you see one? 

Discord: Ooh, cosplay! Can I join? I'll bring the blood wine.

[CypherHoof 26,483]

6 hours ago, R.D.Dash said:

Twilight: What are you talking about? We get invaded all year round by evil  soul sucking queens, evil tyrannical kings, psychotic clowns of chaos, edgelord unicorns, angry magic sucking centaurs, and psychotic school children. Oh my God Spike we've sunken so low 

Spike: Yeah, but it's become so routine, you know?

Pinkie: No, sometimes it's at the start of the season instead of the end

Spike: Twi, why does Pinkie say stuff like that?

[Singe 2,111]

Twilight Spakle: Are you kidding me!

Starlight Glimmer: What?

Twilight Sparkle: You waged a war on cutie marks and this entire revenge plan, all because you lost one friend. If the entire fate of Equestria wasn't on the line, I would slap the stupid out of you right here.

 

Discord: Spike, this whole thing with you and Rarity is getting old. Just ask me if you want to be a pony or her a dragon so this ship can move along.

 

Rarity: Did you just slap me on my flank?

Rover: Ummm...yes

Rarity: Do it again and this time harder.

Rover: What is with this pony?

 

Twilight Sparkle: I want to open a school to teach friendship

Starlight Glimmer: You could open one those mega churches to tell ponies to make friends or end up in hell.

Applejack: I like that.

Twilight Sparkle: No, I'm not doing that.

Rainbow Dash: Look, if you're uncomfortable telling ponies they're going to hell. I can cover for you.

Twilight Sparkle: No churches. I'm sticking with opening a school.

Starlight Glimmer: Suit yourself. They do get a better tax exemption.

Twilight Sparkle: We're opening a church!

 

 

 

Edited April 2, 2019 by Singe

[cmarston1 5,959]

Sci Twi: So that's it. What are we some kinda Equestria Girls?

Edited April 5, 2019 by cmarston1

[Singe 2,111]

Pinkie Pie: Hello everyone. The times and culture have changed when a pony society can no long tolerate personal contact. I am making a former apology for my behavior as it has come to my attention that I have been making others feel uncomfortable. It was not my intention and I will make an effort to respect the personal space of every pony.

 

Spitfire: Pegasus society has changed with the times. In the past our ancestors would throw their children off the clouds to separate the strong from the weak, so only a strong gene pool was around. However, the quote 'groundlings' said this was horrific and we're stuck with lower grade Pegasus today.

 

Gossiping pony: I heard Rarity uses glamour magic to hide her ugliness.

Pony: It makes so much sense now how she's able to entrance so many.

 

Rainbow Dash: Hey Zecora, could you help me with my wings? They've been stiff for more than 4 hours.

Zecora: My word, what could have caused this?

Rainbow Dash: Uh.......seeing Spitfire drying off after a shower.

 

 

[RDDash 19,189]

Twilight: I am so angry!

Starlight: Hm?

Twilight: Neighsay woudn't approve my school.

Starlight: Did you tried to sleep with him.

Twilight: No! What's wrong with you? That's a kid's show.

Starlight: Fine, let's just brainwash him.

[The MegaBrony 219]

First Trixie vs. Bray fight

Bray (after effortlessly defeating Trixie with a ride armor and lifting her by the neck): You worthless phony pony magician, did you think you could defeat me?

(Starlight shoots off the ride armor's arm, causing Bray to flee.)

Trixie: I guess I'm not Great And Powerful enough to defeat him...(starts sobbing)

Starlight: Trixie, you shouldn't expect to defeat him, he was designed to be a war machine. Remember, you have not reached full power yet. If you use all the abilities you were designed with, you should become stronger... You may even become as Great And Powerful as I am. I'll scout ahead and collect as much information on Grogar's fortress as I can. I'll meet up with you when you get there. See you later! Trixie, I know you can do it!

 

Second Trixie vs. Bray fight

(At Grogar's fortress, Trixie meets up with Starlight again, and Bray drops from the ceiling.)

Starlight: Stay back, Trixie! I'll take him on!

(Bray flees through a nearby door, and Starlight follows him. After some fighting sounds, Trixie opens the door to see Bray in another ride armor and Starlight in an electric cage and a magic-suppressing horn ring.)

Trixie: Starlight?!? No...

Bray: Trixie, do what I tell you or Starlight is history!

Starlight: Trixie, don't listen to him! Just go ahead and buck him!

Bray: Dream on, Starlight! Trixie knows she can't defeat me! My armored carrier is more than a match for her stage magic!

(Trixie battles Bray again, but despite all her powerups, still can't win. Bray traps her in an energy field. Starlight suddenly takes off her horn ring, bursts out of the cage, and latches onto Bray's ride armor.)

Starlight: Maybe...but I'm not through yet! (starts overloading Bray's ride armor with all her magic. The ride armor explodes, blowing off Starlight's lower body and throwing her upper half to the other side of the room. However, Bray is unscathed.)

Bray: What a worthless gesture! I can't be defeated so easily! So Trixie, it's just you and me now!

Trixie (after absorbing her energy field's power using her forehooves and getting back up): No one hurts The Great And Powerful Trixie's best friend!

Bray: What the hay? Where did that energy come from?!?

Trixie: Nanomachines, son.

Bray: It really doesn't matter how many tricks you learn, Trixie! You are still far too Weak and Powerless! Prepare to be terminated!

(Trixie battles Bray one last time and defeats him. Bray sparks dramatically and explodes.)

Edited April 6, 2019 by The MegaBrony

[Singe 2,111]

Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe Neighsay shut down my school.

Starlight Glimmer: He must be doing this because of a grudge against you.

Applejack: I brought the report Neighsay dropped off.

Starlight Glimmer: Let me see that. Wow, actual legitimate reasons. You totally *bleeped* this up Twilight.

 

Granny Smith: I will only say this once. There will be no apples mixing with other fruits allowed in this family.

 

Applejack: Now the Pears and Apples can bury this grudge. So each of you take a shovel and beat each other. The winner buries the loser and this whole thing is settled.

 

Pinkie Pie: Rarity you look more ragged than usual. I bet you pulled another all nighter making more dresses.

Rarity: Yes, dresses. Let's go with that.

 

Twilight Sparkle: I have failed my mission and the Equestria Kingdom is lost. Well time for me to start my new life and pursue my old dream of being a hermit witch.

Edited April 7, 2019 by Singe

[RDDash 19,189]

6 minutes ago, Singe said:

Applejack: Now the Pears and Apples can bury this grudge. So each of you take a shovel and beat each other. The winner buries the loser and this whole thing is settled.

Twilight: "Applejack I thought you were from a mixed family?"

[The MegaBrony 219]

Trixie (singing): Watch in awe

And realize

You're just like Trixie

Trying to make history

But who is Great

And Powerful

Show Trixie what you've got

And we can both agree

That greatness breeds greatness

And power too

It has Trixie this way!

[RDDash 19,189]

Twilight: "So let me get this straight you had a little kid writing you letters all year round?"

Tirek: "Well yeah, but it's just from strictly professional point of view."

Twilight: "Hey everyone Tirek has a loli waifu!

Tirek: "It's not like that."

 

 

[The MegaBrony 219]

(Starlight goes to the Space Port and finds Moondancer through a gate, who telekinetically holds a glowing ball.)
Starlight: Moondancer!
Moondancer: So you fought with Princess Twilight...
Starlight: I'm sorry...
Moondancer: Then it's over. Everything...
Starlight: Wait Moondancer! Listen to me!
Moondancer: Good bye, Starlight...
Starlight: Moondancer!
(Moondancer raises the ball high, and a winged Ride Armor forms around her. She attacks Starlight, and Starlight and Moondancer fight. Starlight eventually wins, and Moondancer's Ride Armor explodes, leaving Moondancer injured on the ground. Starlight gallops up to Moondancer.)
Starlight: Moondancer ! ... Moondancer...
Moondancer: Starlight...
Starlight: Hang in there, Moondancer.
Moondancer: Please... stay away from Canterlot, Ponyville, the Crystal Empire, and the human world... Let's live together in a world where only ponies exist.
Starlight: Moondancer, there's no world just for ponies. It's only a fantasy.
Moondancer: Yes... I know... But I wanted to believe it! ... I wanted to live in a world where only ponies exist......with you.
Starlight: ...Moondancer!
(Moondancer goes limp and dies.)
Starlight: Moondancer! Moondancer!.... Moondancer...
(Starlight holds Moondancer's body in her forelegs, screaming.)
Starlight: Nooo!! This isn't happening!! There's no reason for me to go on! What...What am I fighting for?!

[Luigi 7,870]

Royal Guard: Captain! The survey ponies are back from their expedition at Mt Aris.

Shining Armor: Good. Any sign of the Hippogriffs?

Royal Guard: None sir. 

S.A.: This doesn't bode well. Celestia wants an alliance with them.

Royal Guard: We believe they left Mt Aris to a new home. There aren't any signs of dead hippogriffs anywhere.

S.A.: Well I hope we don't have to search for them for too long.

(The two hear an explosion in the room nextdoor)

Princess Luna: AH HA! GOT YA! 

Princess Celestia: You think one bomb will kill me? I'M THE RULER OF EQUESTRIA, DAMN YOU!!!

Luna: I know that too well!! I'M YOUR SISTER FOR GOD SAKE!!!!! SAVE SOME OF THE GLORY FOR ME!!!!

Celestia: Oh STOP GRIPING!!! You have just as many admirers as I do. Just try and stop me!!!

Luna: COME AND GET ME, CHICKEN!!!!!!

Celestia: BRING IT ON, YOU LITTLE PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT!!!!

(Shining Armor opens the door and notices they're only playing Super Smash Bros Ultimate, then quietly leave and closes the door)

Shining Armor: Well then...

[Singe 2,111]

Rarity: If only there was a certain pony that could give me what I really want.

Spike: Whatever it is, I'm your pony dragon.

Rarity: *Laughs.* No Spike, you're too young and a dragon. I'm not into that.

Spike: Into what?

Rarity: What part of 'you are too young' did you not understand?

 

Granny Smith: Applebloom. I saw you out in the field digging a hole. A mighty deep hole. You have guts kid, but I'm not going down so easily.

 

Twilight Sparkle: So do you know where Moon Dancer is?

Minuette: Uh, yeah. She lives.....over there.

Spike: The cemetery?

Twilight Sparkle: What! When?

Minuette: It was about a day after you left. She locked herself in her house and was found buried under a lot of books. It was in the papers.

Spike: Oh boy.

Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe it. This is gonna haunt me for the rest of my life.

Spike: You need to let it go.

Twilight Sparkle: I can still fix this.

*10 minutes later.*

Moon Dancer: Ugh....BRAINS!!! *Attacks Minuette.*

Twilight Sparkle: Spike, what have I done!

Spike: Why couldn't you have just let it go? It's simpler than bringing Moon Dancer back as a zombie.

 

Edited April 20, 2019 by Singe

[Singe 2,111]

Twilight Sparkle: Care to explain this? *Drops a newspaper on table.*

Starlight Glimmer: Oh, you found out that I was the Cutie Mark Ripper.

Twilight Sparkle: Explain.

Starlight Glimmer: Well this was during my teenage years frustrated at the world and I didn't know the spell to magically remove cutie marks at that time. Had to do it the knifey way for a while. I really learned how to be good with a knife at a young age.

Twilight Sparkle: How can you be so calm about it?

Starlight Glimmer: Well considering how nearly destroying Equestria through messing with the time stream was way worse and where I'm now. I figured maiming a couple of ponies for their cutie marks is no biggie now.

Edited April 21, 2019 by Singe

[Kion 7,407]

Fluttershy: Oh I wish I could kill that spoiled rotten brat Angel.

Rainbow Dash: I’ve got the hots for Soarin. 

Pinkie pie: I hate seeing ponies have a good time. 

Rarity: Fashion is not for me.

[Kion 7,407]

Twilight Sparkle: I hate Friendship 

Sweetie Belle: Rarity is such a judgemental pony. 

Night light: I’m so jealous that my daughter is better at magic then me. 

Iron will:  When somepony tries to block show them that you Care and will let them cut in front of you.

Edited April 21, 2019 by Easter Dash

[The MegaBrony 219]

(Starlight is resting in a capsule. A silhouette of Dr. Moon appears, and Starlight wakes up.)

Dr. Moon: Starlight...

Starlight: Who are you?

Dr. Moon: My masterpiece...

Starlight: But... who are you?

Dr. Moon: After Twilight Sparkle! She is my nemesis. Our rivalry is what gives me motivation in life. Now go! Destroy her! That's an order.

Starlight: Huh... ? Wait!

(A sharp ringing sound is heard, and Starlight starts to scream in pain. She flashes back to Dr. Moon, Sunburst, a room full of slain royal guards, her own blueprints, and an image of blood covering her hooves. She wakes up hearing an alarm.)

Hunter H.Q.: Emergency, Emergency! All Mareverick Hunters on call should assemble immediately!

Starlight: The same dream... again...

(Starlight runs out of the room to assemble as the announcement ordered.)

Edited April 24, 2019 by The MegaBrony

[Will Guide 21,360]

Zephyr Breeze advertising his new Mane Therapy Products, particularly Zestphyr-brand. 

Zephyr after spraying his Mane: You're not fully clean unless you're Zestphyr-ly Clean!

 

[RDDash 19,189]

King Sombra "Good news every creature I decided to surrender."

Princess Twilight "I will do everything in power to avenge my dear sister in law... Wait, what did you say?"

King Sombra "Yeah I've been thinking, *sigh, it would be really stupid for me to get vaporized by you guys again. Especially when I just got this new body from Grogar."

Luna "What?"

Sombra "By the way Grogar is planning an act of terrorism against Princess Twilight Sparkle."

Twilight "Uh?"

Sombra "Also he forced Chrysalis Tirek , and, uh, Ms Glow to do his dirty work."

Luna "Damn it."

Sombra "You do know that your prisoners are gone right?"

10 minutes later in the dark cave

Grogar "You son of a b***tch"

Lord Tirek "Language!"

Edited April 26, 2019 by R.D.Dash

[The MegaBrony 219]

Trixie: Big Mac, where have you been?

Big Mac (after trapping Trixie in an energy field): You are far too trusting, Trixie. I'm now a member of Cloppler's army! You will make a fine addition to our forces once you have been shown the true destiny of the Pony race!

(Big Mac picks Trixie up and jumps into the distance while carrying her. Starlight blows a hole in the ceiling, jumps down, makes her way through a robot-filled stage, and reaches the room where Big Mac is holding Trixie. Starlight destroys Big Mac and frees Trixie.)

Starlight: Are you okay, Trixie?

Trixie: Thanks Starlight. I'm okay.

Starlight: I'll check around headquarters again. Be on your guard, Trixie.

(Starlight teleports away and Trixie continues through the stage. Trixie finds and destroys Mare-oh the Giant, after which Starlight teleports in.)

Starlight: Looks like we've swept most of the enemies out of here. I'll go back and check on headquarters. Call me if you need me. See you later, Trixie.

(Trixie and Starlight teleport out.)

[RDDash 19,189]

Zephyr: "Hey babe, how is it going?"

Rainbow: "Um yeah hi. Hey Zephyr, I thought that maybe..."

Zephyr "You and me together at seven? I know you like me but I can't really go with you right now and..."

Rarity tries to sneak in

Zephyr: "Where does she think she is going?"

Rainbow "..."

Zephyr "Hey Lady what do you think you are doing?"

Rarity takes a brick with her telekinesis and knocks Zephyr Breeze out

Rarity "I think you were absolutely right darling, this makes things a lot easier."

Rainbow: "You think?"

Edited April 30, 2019 by R.D.Dash

[Singe 2,111]

Pinkie Pie: Wow, Rarity. You made a lot of bits with that kissing booth.

Rarity: Yes, no one could resist my charms.

Rainbow Dash: By one, you mean you only had one customer and his name was Spike.

Rarity: He was very enthusiastic about paying all these bits for my kisses. I wonder where he got all this money from.

Starlight Glimmer: You guys won't believe it. Twilight is losing it after finding out that Spike took out a loan using the castle and school as collateral.

[The MegaBrony 219]

(A Maulwurf fist grabs Thorax, receding into the next room. Starlight chases after the Maulwurf.)

Thorax: Starlight! No! Run... You can't damage this thing with magic or rocks...

WARNING

 

(Starlight tries to fight the Maulwurf, but is unable to gain much advantage with her magic or nearby rocks.)

Starlight: Rats!

(Cyber Elf X teleports in.)

Starlight: Huh?

X: ...USE THIS... STARLIGHT... (throws a lightsaber over to her)

Starlight: Who are you!?

X: HURRY... YOU HAVE TO... SAVE HIM... DON'T WASTE TIME...

(Starlight picks up the lightsaber and bisects the Maulwurf in a single slash.)

Thorax: I can't believe you were able to destroy a Maulwurf... We were right. You ARE Starlight, the legendary unicorn!