(A Cutie Mark is) Just No Good [VRC6]

[Scooblee 121]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTj9GXcZQzY

 

So after a month of nothing, I've released a new song! This one was written at the beginning of Season 5, and is about Starlight Glimmer. It was technically written before "Just a Fraud", but I had to rework the lyrics a little, so it got delayed. It's here now, though, so please give it a listen if you wish! Any comments and feedback is much appreciated!

 

 

And the obligatory SoundCloud link, for those who prefer it.

 

Thanks for listening, and enjoy!

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,822]

Okay...

 

It's a bit...cheesy

 

The one thing that's really bugging me is the fact that you limited yourself to only two chords in the main part and it was just too repetative. 

 

I like the key choice: A# minor, but literally, you were just going back and forth from the i to the VII, which is a big no-no, because you don't have any other way to order your chords. This impacted your melody as well. On the I chord, which is A#, you could only play A#, C# and E# (and sometimes G# since it's the VII). If you try to incoorperate other notes in, like B#, D# and F#, you'll get dissonance, which is why I see you had mostly eighth note runs when you played those specific notes. 

 

Here are some suggestions for the progressions. Because you had a whole 8 bars per phrase, you had a lot of opportunities. The hyphens represent one beat

 

i----VII----i----VII----VI----iv----i----i

 

i----VII----VI----VI----I----iv----V----i

 

i----VI--VII--i----VI--VII--iv----III--VII--i

 

Notice how almost every chord in the scale is used. This would completely open up opportunities for this piece. 

 

Your bass line was too much of the same. What you could've done was alternate between blocked chords and arpeggiated chords. This goes along with your percussion line, which remained the same (except that one syncopated part). Add some fill-ins after each 8-bar phrase and maybe for that one section add an alternate pattern in half-time. 

 

All in all, this piece could use A LOT of work. Don't get discouraged. You can Skype me if you have any questions about what I covered in this review. 

Edited August 10, 2015 by C. Thunder Dash

[Scooblee 121]

~snip~

 

Thanks for the feedback! I know I still have a lot to work on, especially since this is the first song like this I've ever written. I'll keep in mind the chord structures and stuff, and try to experiment more with those. That's one area I've known I needed to work on for quite a good while now, and so it's good to know I'm not the only one who thinks this. And again, thanks so much for all this! I'll be sure to keep this info on hand in the future.

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,822]

Thanks for the feedback! I know I still have a lot to work on, especially since this is the first song like this I've ever written. I'll keep in mind the chord structures and stuff, and try to experiment more with those. That's one area I've known I needed to work on for quite a good while now, and so it's good to know I'm not the only one who thinks this. And again, thanks so much for all this! I'll be sure to keep this info on hand in the future.

 

Hey no prob, I can tutor you in chord structures and music theory if you'd like me to. We can do this over Skype.