A female minor character needs a new personality.

[SilverStarApple 849]

There was a character planned to be revealed in episode seven of my fanfic, a badass and powerful female character. Unfortunately, she needs a new personality. Why? There's this game called Undertale, featuring this character called Undyne. The freaky fish girl and royal guard that throws spears at you, suplexes boulders because she can, approaches everything with determination, even cooking. And on genocide routes, sorta-spoiler His Sled moment incoming, she manifests a Determination power of her own, even though monsters aren't supposed to be able to do that.

 

And she's incredibly similar to the female character I had ready to appear in my fic, only Undyne is better in every way, and not evil. Also, my character uses a sword, since her boss uses spears.

 

I'm also really, really glad that in Undertale, they never said what HP stands for. (That's something I had planned for a game I'm working on, and it really ties the game's themes together. But we'll talk about that some other time.)

 

Here are the basic notes of the character:

 

Female.

Badass.

Works for Gold Standard - the villain of the fic, he runs a secret organization and she's in it - and genuinely believes that if he came to power and everyone currently in power was imprisoned in Tartarus or gemstones, things would be better for everypony in Equestria. The ends justify the means, and her boss (And herself) is/are never wrong.

Is actually stronger than Gold Standard, in terms of muscles, tactical ability, and magical power. She's pretty much his Darth Vader, even though she could easily give herself a Klingon Promotion and have the organization shift its focus to a much better and less destructive goal.

Will not tolerate any criticism of her leader.

Accomplished magical duellist. Good with spell fights, magic sword fights, and mixed magical arts fights.

Wields a very badass sword, it's her Spellblade and she designed it herself. It was initially planned to absorb damage she took and channel it into concussive force when its hilt strikes a foe, but the whole "Determination keeps her alive and conscious" thing has been done by Undyne The Undying. Her spellblade's ability might have to become something else.

Does not tolerate failure.

Is actually quite a nice person to her more successful underlings.

Edited February 18, 2016 by SilverStarApple

[Midnight Seeker 302]

How about you give her a strong sense of humour? Keep everything else, but have her make jokes here and there, so she subtle and/or blatantly mocks others. It would make her somewhat of an optimist and her dialogue might become what your readers like the most.

[SilverStarApple 849]

How about you give her a strong sense of humour? Keep everything else, but have her make jokes here and there, so she subtle and/or blatantly mocks others. It would make her somewhat of an optimist and her dialogue might become what your readers like the most.

I'd initially planned to have her as more of a comically serious Straight Man. (In comedic terms. You know, the Twilight to someone's Pinkie, the Papyrus to someone's Sans, the Blackadder to pretty much everything and everyone?)

[SilverStarApple 849]

...I'm not getting help on this, am I?

[SFyr 1,982]

Honestly, I see her almost as begging to be made into the zealously devoted type, like Harlequin working under Joker--only perhaps her devotion stems from believing in Gold Standard and his ideals, rather than because she loves him. It would explain her intolerance for failure, full belief in a boss she could overpower, and would allow her to get some sympathy/realistic motivation if written right. Often, people like that are misguided, perhaps a lot unstable sometimes, but also fanatical/dangerous to a high degree. 

[Midnight Seeker 302]

Sorry bud, I've been covering a lot of shifts at work and it causes me to get a bit stressed. Makes me highly disorganised. Good luck to you in writing your story.