How you overcame a lack of initiative or your fears about gaining independance.

[Lil Pip 775]

Its simply something I need to work on. I lack those attributes, and when people who have ptsd hear stories about overcoming similar struggles, it helps them recover better. So I thought it'd be good to ask for similar reasons.

[Dreambiscuit 11,335]

This is something I had a lot of difficulty with when I was younger. My family is extremely protective and I think I misread that as being discouragement about my going off to live on my own. 

It was not an easy leap for me but as soon as I made the leap, perspective quickly came in and I was able to see things for what they were. 

The hard part is the initial leap. If you can just summon the initiative to do that, the rest will fall into place. You will see that the things that concern you now are overblown in your mind. You just need to get some distance from them and they'll seem small (just like in the Frozen song). 

Once you become independent, you'll love your new life and you'll want to do new things and explore all the horizons that become available. Lack of initiative will be a thing of the past. Just think of all the cool things that are beyond that initial leap and the leap itself won't be so bad. 

Edited May 22, 2016 by Dreambiscuit

[Wind Chaser 4,768]

This is best overcome by taking on some kind of commitment to someone else, like a job, a school project, or similar. I noticed a big difference between when I was unemployed and employed in a full-time job with lots of overtime. I became more organized and disciplined when I had the job because I had so little free time. I felt compelled to maximize efficiency. However, I quit the job because of the issues raised by long hours and no guaranteed days off and I noticed myself slip back into a poorly-motivated state where I could barely get things done.

 

Goal orientation is the best asset that can help you. Take on some kind of job or project and think; I'm doing this because _______, so I can _______.

[BastementSparkle 20,335]

I struggle with this too. I've never been very independent, and I've got not initiative at all really. It's difficult for me since nothing seems to give me any real desire to do anything. I don't really get any level of pride or satisfaction by doing things on my own, doing a hard days work just leaves me drained, and rewards never seem worth the effort, even after I've gotten them.

 

 It's difficult to motivate yourself when you never feel any kind of "Reward" from your efforts.

[Invincible 2,092]

I used to be that way. Eventually it sorta clicks. I guess i somehow realized what was missing. You basically have to do everything you normally wouldn't (in terms of confidence and initiative): Act quickly and accept challanges, dares, etc. Be spontaneous and find something to talk about or do with people. Basically, i trained myself in emulating a socially-approved me.

 

I certainly wouldn't know if my way is the right way or if there is a right way or a better way to do this. But it worked for me in the end.

[Shadowrunner 41]

Getting told i was leaving for boot camp in 5 days wit my ship date was supposed to be 6 months away helped. 

[EpicEnergy 23,247]

I didn't really struggle with that much, I guess going to college helped me deal with those.

[Fluttershyfan94 5,749]

Independence is good to have definitely, something I've had trouble with but I try to challenge myself with that. Simply by trying to make more independent decisions in my life.

[TBD 17,274]

In the matter of "Leaving the nest" I still live with my parents but I don't feel the need to "break away" from them since I love working to support my family.

When it comes to job, I don't have any kind of problem since I stated working at the age of 14. Even before working, my mother has already taught me well how to take some responsibly. So coming in work on the first day as a 14 yrs old was a breeze.  

Schools was a bit more challenging. I hate seeing my teachers for school help, so my school (from elementary-high school) often forced me into a "learning section" to get me to see teachers for HW help. Since my grade always collapsing. The "learning section" does help me improve academically. I was also forced to see the school counselor starting middle to high school. While I hate the idea of why I was send there, I did appreciated how nice she is and I enjoyed talking to her about almost everything. And how well she listened. She helped me to be a bit more open. I was breaking away bad habits with the help of "learning section" and seeing my counselor. Until college came and without no one forcing you  this or that, I right away want back to my old bad habits. Which was rough for me. I did come to see learning assistance for help, it has worked in some classes. But as I get to higher courses, everything just want down hill for me.  Most of the professors and tutors are just bad in general, so i didn't bother with them anymore.  Yeah college life was shit for me. I remembered my advisor told me " I can't depend on people like "them holding my hands" and that modified me. Pfft as if I don't know that already.. I just don't appreciated get insulted that way.