feedback Need an opinion before finishing my new piece (PG-13)

[Sarge Sixteenbit 287]

So, I've been asking you guys for help in regards to improving my female drawings.

I wanted to get an opinion on my new sketch before I inked and colored it.

If I didn't make what's going on clear enough, Rainbow Dash just threw a water balloon at Fluttershy.

They're at the lake at Camp Everfree.

[SugarCoatxMarblePie 701]

Fluttershy's legs I feel like should be longer and her movements should be less blocky, perhaps a little curvier its sorta flat up her side. Then the mouth expression I am not sure if its stylistic or not, so that's up to you.

[YellowHornBrony 83]

13 minutes ago, CuriUndersXeno said:

Fluttershy's legs I feel like should be longer and her movements should be less blocky, perhaps a little curvier its sorta flat up her side. Then the mouth expression I am not sure if its stylistic or not, so that's up to you.

You're quite right, they should be

[Sarge Sixteenbit 287]

22 hours ago, CuriUndersXeno said:

Fluttershy's legs I feel like should be longer and her movements should be less blocky, perhaps a little curvier its sorta flat up her side. Then the mouth expression I am not sure if its stylistic or not, so that's up to you.

Before and after adjustments.

• legs are longer
• torso and legs are curvier
• pose was adjusted to make Fluttershy look more startled. Notice she now stands on her tip toes while her waist jerks forward slightly. Also there's a slight bend in her spine.

Also, yes, the mouth is a stylistic choice.

[SugarCoatxMarblePie 701]

I guess back would be tighter after getting impact from a waterballoon too(I criticized the blockiness, which includes rigidity). Also body language when a 'shy' person gets hit or such they sorta close off their posture, this is a defense mechanism which increases circulation to vital organs and reduces organ exposure(just imagine how in movies they raise their hand to someone they withdraw to brace for it, that sorta closed off body language). Also feel like her fingers could be slimmer and less space between the fingers.

Edited April 27, 2017 by CuriUndersXeno

[Sarge Sixteenbit 287]

3 hours ago, CuriUndersXeno said:

I guess back would be tighter after getting impact from a waterballoon too(I criticized the blockiness, which includes rigidity). Also body language when a 'shy' person gets hit or such they sorta close off their posture, this is a defense mechanism which increases circulation to vital organs and reduces organ exposure(just imagine how in movies they raise their hand to someone they withdraw to brace for it, that sorta closed off body language). Also feel like her fingers could be slimmer and less space between the fingers.

• minor details added
• pose adjusted

[SugarCoatxMarblePie 701]

Hm can't say it looks extremely different to me, idk if last change was good or bad. I think the legs are less bony and a little meatier which ain't bad. Not sure her arms/hands look fully natural. I notice some changes being the side cleavage the hair piece and the two piece string near neck , lines are more full, all good changes. Maybe do similar for Dash's lines, who honestly looks kinda like older Scootaloo to me, but think she is good for the most part really. Fluttershy's hands the fingers look longer than the hands proportionally if that makes sense(except the short first knuckle, reminds me of the same mistake with the legs from earlier like she has some partial dwarfism at some segments), and feel like it should have less width for the hands/fingers some more. Wrist seems immobile/rigid/straight. I think the thumb might be a little malformed/unnatural angle.

[Sarge Sixteenbit 287]

17 minutes ago, CuriUndersXeno said:

Hm can't say it looks extremely different to me, idk if last change was good or bad. I think the legs are less bony and a little meatier which ain't bad. Not sure her arms/hands look fully natural. I notice some changes being the side cleavage the hair piece and the two piece string near neck , lines are more full, all good changes. Maybe do similar for Dash's lines, who honestly looks kinda like older Scootaloo to me, but think she is good for the most part really. Fluttershy's hands the fingers look longer than the hands proportionally if that makes sense(except the short first knuckle, reminds me of the same mistake with the legs from earlier like she has some partial dwarfism at some segments), and feel like it should have less width for the hands/fingers some more. Wrist seems immobile/rigid/straight. I think the thumb might be a little malformed/unnatural angle.

I'll definitely work on the wrist. As for the fingers, are you saying they're too long for a fist shape?

I was trying to make them only partially curled up, like they're going to be used to knock on a door. I might not have made that too clear, as I don't typically draw nails.

The only thing that I disagree with you on is the thumb looking unnatural. I gave her a hitchhiker's thumb, a genetic trait, where the thumb bends backwards at a 45 degree angle. It's actually pretty common. However, If you think a straight thumb would look better, I can make that change.

[SugarCoatxMarblePie 701]

Oh well if you know what you are doing go for it. Never knew that tho, but I don't get out often.

[Sarge Sixteenbit 287]

9 hours ago, CuriUndersXeno said:

Oh well if you know what you are doing go for it. Never knew that tho, but I don't get out often.

• added a more natural-looking curve to Fluttershy's wrist
• made the bend of the fingers more obvious
• Rainbow Dash's outlines were solidified

If there aren't any more changes I should make, I'm looking forward to inking and coloring.

[Sarge Sixteenbit 287]

Inked, colored and shaded

Giving it its own thread soon

Edited April 29, 2017 by Sarge Sixteenbit