5 Reasons You Don't Want To Be A Pony

[Limewire 18]

Wow...

I never thought of that, you made me change my mind.This thread is great!

Gotta show this to my friends!

[TheBeatlesPkmnFan42 33]

and whatever ungodly terror Twist is supposed to be.

 

*shudder*

 

I instantly lost faith in you. I'm sorry but wow. I hate Twist haters. What the hell did she ever do to you? The whole Twist hating is unnessesary. Your hating someone because they sound weird. It's quite rude. Would you hate someone in real life if they simply talked like that?

Edited July 27, 2012 by TheBeatlesPkmnFan42

[InfinityWhale 771]

I instantly lost faith in you. I'm sorry but wow. I hate Twist haters. What the hell did she ever do to you? The whole Twist hating is unnessesary. Your hating someone because they sound weird. It's quite rude. Would you hate someone in real life if they simply talked like that?

 

Actually, I don't have anything against Twist; she's rather adorable. Treating her like she's some great lord of dark evil, however, is hilarious. Could you imagine a face like her's saying "No, Misther Bond, I expect you to die!" with gleeful cheer?

[TheBeatlesPkmnFan42 33]

Actually, I don't have anything against Twist; she's rather adorable. Treating her like she's some great lord of dark evil, however, is hilarious. Could you imagine a face like her's saying "No, Misther Bond, I expect you to die!" with gleeful cheer?

 

Okay good. Glad to hear that. Someone needs to write a fanfic where she is an evil lord. That would be awesome.

[Vulpes 26]

5. No matter what the grass is always greener, so I don't think wanting to be a pegasus or unicorn is a good argument, a pegasus may want to be a unicorn or a unicorn a pegasus, or perhaps they all want to be an alicorn... but... What about the alicorns? They have it great, right!? Well... Luna and Celestia move the sun and moon all the time, maybe they want to be average and have worries more like taking out the trash rather than is everyone safe, is the sun where it should be. As long as you are alive you can thing of something that seems better, and if you get it you'll want something else. Such as how many people want to be ponies or even other animals. Perhaps animals want to be us to talk though, but then there is responsibility. You never see the negatives of the other side, that's why the other side is better in my opinion.

 

Your mouth is a big selling point in terms of not wanting to be an earth pony. At least pegasus can fly and free up some hooves to use, or those lucky unicorns levitate things. Especially when considering theoretical Equestria genetics dictate earth ponies are dominant genetics. There are, however, alternatives. You can carry a wagon, but you have to load it with your mouth, you can also use a saddle but run into a short period of using your mouth. And putting the saddle on requires your mouth too. It would be disgusting to us, but to them more adjusted to using their mouth they would have better immunity and it wouldn't be as gross, but referring to the first argument you'll still want to be somewhere else no matter what. So wanting to be a pegasus or what not for the mouth is almost invalidated. Almost. It's still a little gross no matter how you cut it. Then germaphobes like myself would have a hell of a time.

 

While being a unicorn or earth pony you may want wings to fly fast you can run faster, while a pegasus would almost definitely prefer being a unicorn over earth pony, but then they couldn't fly. Earth ponies are basically the bottom of the chain, but like I said they must have one hell of an immune system. They must rarely get sick. There are ups and downs, what it comes down to is are they worth it? That is a personal decision, and all things considered I personally thing it would be less stressful education wise and job wise, even if what pony type you are may have some dictation of what you will do. Maybe they have trans-ponies, like transgender but with pony types... Hmmm... That would be interesting, for sure.

 

4. Ponyville is the only happy place, or the happiest at least. Thing is though, our cities are a lot like theirs except ponyville. We exemplify being unrealistically skinny and pin people to their goals, make them rot on their own weaknesses. Well... their spectacle on being good is just like ours, so being a pony wouldn't be very much different than being a human in therms of cities.

 

I suppose they may have fewer celebrities, so it looks worse exemplifying only one pony, but it's just like out fame in the end. As for freaking out over the rooster, that has to do with lifestyle, they are secluded from what we see as natural. What they see as scary we see as the world. They live in a metaphorical bubble, so that's a real disappointment for lovers of nature like myself. Sure, they see a lot of the calm aspects but you can't awe at a raging river or tackle a towering mountain without looking like a lunatic. Even then you would be so secluded the mere idea seems crazy to you too. And what about swimming and tennis and sports we love? Ponies don't have all those fancy games, not the same ones anyway. That is another big turn down. So city life is the only life, and city life doesn't seem to have many games. Again it depends on how much you are willing to give up, that's where I cut the cord.

 

3. I have to agree here, the ponies seem to be terrified of everything. They were run down by bunnies. Bunnies. Unless you were like the Big Lebowski pony that would be absolutely terrible. I suppose Celesia and Luna could replace the mane 6 in terms of saving everypony. Even then you'd have to wait for your wonderful leaders to save you, and who knows how much damage is done by then. Other than that I suppose you have ponies like Daring Doo, but she is fictional, or the strong stallions and mares, but seldom do the come! Oh Equestrians, how do you survive?

 

Well, I think there are some theatrics involved. I think they they have some exaggerated situations for interest, but that doesn't change the fact that the average pony (which you would probably be) would be terrified and helpless at a tiny threat, or even something mildly uncomfortable. This is a great point, OP, I don't really have any disagreement here.

 

2. This argument has a key variable, do you want to be born a pony or to become a pony? If you were born one the whole thing is invalid, but being transformed would be a near impossible adjustment. But if you are talking about transformation I completely agree, you'd even have to learn how their vocal cords work. You'd be a literal big baby. By the time you learned you'd have lost your golden years. You would be better off staying a human.

 

Still on the topic of pony biology I bet they have shorter lives too. But I think that also includes pre-built instincts. So even though it may take only half a year to adjust, half a year would be proportionally be a much longer time. Is it the quality of life or quantity? Quality! But they have the same quality in my opinion it with lower quantity, so that's a massive reason I wouldn't want to be a pony.

 

1. I don't know if I fully agree, but I believe this is a very intelligent point. As I said earlier no matter what you have you'll always want something else, so perhaps a pony wants an entire other world even. Wanting other worlds, however, I believe is something we should leave to die. Chances are we will never get the capability to travel to Equestria, if we would we would probably need more time than the earth will be. In a few trillion years or so the sun will burn the earth's seas, and by then I'm betting we'll have mars populated, not Equestria.

 

If you want a perfect world then there is no good or bad in your eyes, no reason to be sad or happy, no reason to do anything. It would be impossibly bland, so even if you could find the perfect life it wouldn't be a truly perfect life unless you had felt pain and had reminders of the pain. It's the ups and downs (yes, and downs) that make life worth living. We don't want all downs, that's worse than a hypothetical "perfect" life, one without pain. All the more reason we need to stop wanting another world and work on helping the people that are already in ours.

[Homura Akemi 974]

I have never wanted to be a pony, personally. If Equestria was real, you never know, there may be a dark, chaotic side to it we don't see in the show.

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

But that's not all. Whenever there exists a pony with half a brain and malintent, they can apparently just go around twisting the other poneis around their fingers. Flim and Flam were able to nearly run the Apple Family out of business by manipulating the ponies of Ponyville. Trixie said she took down an Ursa Major, and everyone just stopped and believed her. No asking for evidence, no querying "How?" They just blindly accept that she did it, and move on with her life, which is allowing a pathetic showgirl show them up at everything their good at.

 

About the Flim-Flam thing, remember that in children's cartoons, things are usually sped up, "compressed" to fit into the 20 minute episodes. Also simplified.

Tink of it this way: in the "real" Equestria, maybe it took a lot of time and lies to take over Sweet Apple Acres. The realization that the cider was of lesser quality could've taken several days, and the Apple family would've started looking for a new place by then. And when they got word, probably from one of the remaining of the mane 6, that the brothers were failing, they could've easily returned and taken back their orchard and farm.

 

As for Trixie, save from two fancolts named Snips and Snails, I don't think anyone believed her gloatings either. Remember Equestria as we know it has existed for millennia, so I'm pretty sure the residents of Ponyville and their ancestors (even before the town was founded) have had their share of boasters, liars, hypocrites...

 

(Yes, I'm aware that this was done on purpose like a Cracked article. I highly doubt you agree with what you wrote, at least not 100%.

But it makes me think, there are people who seriously agree with Cracked on subjects like religion and such. This OP reflects the opinions of small-brained materialists who claim the show is "superficial" and use generic arguments like "it's a kids' cartoon" to diss male adult fans.)

[SBaby 660]

Here's MY reasons.

 

5: Walking on all fours all the time would just wear me out.

 

4: Pegasi and Unicorns are overrated. If you're a Pegasus, you not only have to deal with weather problems all the time, but you have to fly and I HATE heights. Unicorns have to learn to control their magic, or they'll end up like Twilight was as a filly. Not to mention, if I had a horn that could end up taking me halfway across the country against my will, it would be a pain in the arse.

 

3: This isn't exactly the safest place in the universe. Dragons, parasprites, manticores. I'm sorry, but I would hate living anywhere where my house could be destroyed every few months. Somehow, I doubt that homeowner's insurance covers damage from demons from Hell.

 

2: I would never be willing to go vegetarian. That's just not gonna happen.

 

1: Two words: NO FINGERS! I am an avid gamer, and that is something I would NOT be willing to give up. Not to mention, can you imagine trying to type with hooves? That would get tedious.

Edited July 29, 2012 by SBaby

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

Equestria has game consoles, I'm sure they DO indeed have advanced technology. They maybe just don't use it everywhere, because they don't feel the need.

With the body comes all the natural reflexes and such. No need to re-learn how to take a dump and to walk.

http://askdiscordwhooves.tumblr.com/post/26796379988/and-thus-the-12th-doctor-began

...dunno, dude. Physiology and anatomy would definitely be equine, but behavior and psychology, I'm not so sure.

1. I would probably be a background pony, and I don't want to imagine what the fandom would do to me.

Aw, here goes my plan for that saucy FalconnxTwilight fanfic. Not cool, man.

I think that the most imortant reason i would not want to be a pony other than thumbs would be meat. How could I live on a diet of pure vegatation? I crave my beef jurkey and Bacon Cheeseburgers, I don't think I could adjust to the life of a herbivore.

Your digestive tract would have the necessary physiology and anatomy. Also I recall reading about hotdogs somewhere, I'm pretty sure they have something that tastes to them like meat does to us.

(even if they are useless)

Zecora disagrees.

"Weird pony biology"

Lol, unwanted erections, unwanted erections everywhere.

Cartoon characters don't have those parts. c: Edited August 4, 2012 by Feather Spiral

[Arrow 236]

Hmm... I'd like to be a pony BUT, I would want that every single last memory from my old (human) life to be completely erased, and we have win/win situation!

[Teh Boi 113]

Cartoon characters don't have those parts. c:

 

Didn't Faust say that the ponies reproduced like normal mammals?

[One 498]

*ahem* Number 1 reason which is very obvious and extremely logical: There is no way in any way what soever that you can become a pony in Ponyville or any other plave in Equestria, it is completley impossible in everysingle way. (your life just got ruined)

[Princes Cadance 345]

I can't really find a downside in equestria but if I really had to

Having no hands so unless your a unicorn you have to bit things

Earth ponies have it worst for them

Um

There's no real way of moving without your feet ie:car

I don't see much employment options

[DrOphthalmos 497]

The psychology of Ponies as demonstrated in the show is very American. city dwellers would find the cities just like cities here.

In America, small towns are far more friendly than any city.

---> No real revelation here.

 

I object!!!!!!

 

Small towns are far more friendly than any city IF YOU ARE EXACTLY LIKE THEM.

 

I've lived in Manhattan and Philadelphia and had great experiences. I lived in a small town called "Lewisburg" and I had a HORRIBLE experience. Sorry, but to quote the title of a song by my friend Voltaire, "Hate lives in a small town."

 

What I love love loved about New York is that everyone minds their own business. However, that does not mean they are unfriendly! I saw a guy wake up an elderly gentleman on the Staten Island Ferry when we reached dock. I once had no change and a bus driver let me on for free. Big city people can be very friendly when you need them to be, but otherwise they mind their own business and small town people think that means they are aloof.

 

What you have seen in Canterlot and Manehattan in the show thus far are high class ponies. And yes, people like that exist in the real world. However, cities are big places and they really hold all sorts of different personality types. While I lived in NYC, I did not hang out with the wealthy crowd and then go to the Hamptons in summer. Rather my friends consisted of musicians and artists.

 

Also, consider this, where in America do you think it would be easier to be a Brony? A small town? Or, a large city? BroNYcon is out of NYC is it not? In a large city, you are far more likely to find like-minded people, especially if your tastes are not mainstream. In Lewisburg, I wouldn't dream about walking around with an MLP shirt. In New York City, I wouldn't give it a second thought.

 

TL;DR Do not bash large cities.

 

If I lived in Equestria, not sure I'd want to live in Ponyville. Yes, I would love to meet the mane 6, but would I want to live in a small town so close to the Everfree forest? I think I would check out what else Manehattan, Fillydelphia, and Canterlot have to offer. Good points OP but I disagree with 4 - I doubt Ponyville is the only happy place.

[Sararyman...man 41]

5 reasons you don't want to be a human:

5.- weird ass biologyy

4.-they stimulate coitus not only for reproduction but for pleasure

3.-they are slowly destroying their home world

2.-the majority look down on intelligence

1.-they eat horses.

 

5 reasons you don't want to be a human:

5.- weird ass biologyy

4.-they stimulate coitus not only for reproduction but for pleasure

3.-they are slowly destroying their home world

2.-the majority look down on intelligence

1.-they eat horses.

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

4- Dolpins and bonobo chimps do that too, you know. In fact, they even have homosexual relationships, and so do a lot of other mammals.

Didn't Faust say that the ponies reproduced like normal mammals?

Normal cartoon mammals, probably? i.e they nuzzle and kiss and cuddle, which gets the female pregnant, and when it's time for giving birth, the baby comes out completely painlessly in a mysterious manner. =D Edited August 7, 2012 by Feather Spiral

[Trixies Apprentice L 493]

I dunno, while there are definitely cons to living in a world of ponies, it seems a bit harsh to say that anyone who would prefer to be in another world is stupid. I mean just because someone prefers something that they don't have doesn't mean that they're in the wrong.

 

One of your articles biggest flaws IMO is that it assumes that everyone who wants to go to Equestria is absolutely depressed with this one. Which isn't true. I would love to go to Equestria, heck, maybe even permanently, but that doesn't mean I am horrifically depressed and hate this world. I just prefer Equestria to Earth. To me, it has more things in it that suit my interests better then this world, like magic, dragons, and Trixie.

 

Ultimately, every universe has its pro and cons, and while a lot of people never truly consider the cons and look only at the pros of other worlds and the cons of their own, it does seem a bit mean to think wishing to be somewhere else is stupid. Which it isn't, wanting to be in another world is kinda understandable, but what we have to accept is that unless some super scientific device is made, we're gonna be stuck in this one, so might as well make the most of it!

 

The main point of this is the lines that are not striked all the rest is irrelevant to Tom XD

 

But joke aside Tom's argument is pretty solid it's pretty much which problems you would prefer to face. I can guess that there are problems in Equestria that don't exist in our world and problems in our world that dont exist there.The most majr flaw I see with being a pony is that you don't really have a choice on what you will do. You get a cutie mark and that it's that your talent that what you are destined to do like it or not. Let alone that the fact that they have a ruler that they pretty much worship is a bit bad even though celestia is a good and fair ruler and not some crazy monarch.

 

Personally I would love to go there see how things are and then make an assumpitioon if I want to stay there for ever though Trixie is a very compeling argument on staying there XD

[Teh Boi 113]

4- Dolpins and bonobo chimps do that too, you know. In fact, they even have homosexual relationships, and so do a lot of other mammals.

Normal cartoon mammals, probably? i.e they nuzzle and kiss and cuddle, which gets the female pregnant, and when it's time for giving birth, the baby comes out completely painlessly in a mysterious manner. =D

 

Tell that to Mr Cake, and his knowledge about genetics. Where was Mrs. Cake when they were seeing the babies in the hospital? Who framed Roger Rabbit?

See? No answer. I guess it will stay like that.

Edited August 7, 2012 by Teh Boi

[InfinityWhale 771]

This OP reflects the opinions of small-brained materialists who claim the show is "superficial" and use generic arguments like "it's a kids' cartoon" to diss male adult fans.

 

I... well...

 

I thought it was well thought out. I mean, my points were valid, and I was never dissing the fans of the show.

 

It wasn't bad, or harmful, in any sense of the word. It wasn't small-brained or materialistic. My arguments weren't generic or superficial.

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

I didn't say you were, but I've seen such people use some of your arguments before.

Also, the OP did use superficial arguments, such as the point I addressed in the same post you just quoted. I'm sorry if I offended you personally, that wasn't my intention. Again, I knew you were using that tone on purpose, but I realize there are people who genuinely think that way and DO use it against the fans.

 

As for cutie marks, it's not as alienating as you'd think.

Look at Rarity who has gems on her flank and makes dresses with jewels, not just jewellery. See Pinkie, who has balloons, but also can bake cupcakes and build gadgets.

Your cutiemark might show your personnality and what you can do best, but it doesn't stop you from having other areas of interest and job.

Tell that to Mr Cake, and his knowledge about genetics. Where was Mrs. Cake when they were seeing the babies in the hospital? Who framed Roger Rabbit?

See? No answer. I guess it will stay like that.

Good job ruining a jab with humorless and uncreative rationality. http://mlpforums.com/public/style_emoticons/default/dry.png

Also I have more constructive things to do, than waiting for anonymously made posts on the internet. Such as, I don't know, packing up for my trip this friday maybe? (May I also point out I'm barely active on the forums in the first place, even before I started preparing for my vacation.)

 

Even if I were being serious, genetics doesn't necessarily imply sexual intercourse is necessary. In a land where ponies can do magic, manipulate (or rather "hoofipulate") clouds, pick up objects with hooves, and even fend off invaders with LOVE... how hard would it be to imagine a way in which they can perform fecondation and birthgiving without all the stuff REAL mammals put up with? Granted, Mrs Cake was probably exhausted and resting somewhere nearby, but couldn't she be exhausted from focusing some sort of inner energy into getting the foals out?

Not even bothering to answer the part about Roger Rabbit, since that movie is supposed to take place in the cartoon universe PLUS real world in a sort of mise en abyme.

Otherwise, cartoon characters can bend, stretch, fall from any height and hit obstacles at any speed without harm, and (why not) reproduce without involving their groins. Unless openly stated that they are like REAL-world animals, and from a strictly rational perspective, "normal" does not equal "real-world" when talking about things in cartoons.

Edited August 8, 2012 by Feather Spiral

[Page Turner 607]

okay, I see where you are coming from, but now let me give you my three reasons why I DO want to be a pony:

1. Celestia: sure she's a dictator, but she's a benign dictator, and she's managed to run the country just fine for the last 1000 years. We get Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Obama.

2. Pinkie Pie: Who Wouldn't want to live in the same world as her? I know I would. I'd party with Pinkie all night long, If you catch my drift.

3. Ponyville is not the ONLY happy place, Appleoosa was great, once they settled their difference with the buffalo.

[Solar Wind 595]

Well aside from all that I'm surprised no one has ever brought up the best reason of all... No thumbs :/

 

Also I would be happy to be an Earth Pony.. If my special talent was sword fighting! HUZZAH!

 

Thumbs dont stop them in the show... And all these reasons dont affect me in any way. Ponies are dominant species considering they have governmet and the other creatures are like wolves vs a human they are just stronger. Ponyville isnt the only good place Canterlot may be a bit rich for my tastes but thats just an opinion, As for the new bioligy im sure we all felt a bit odd the first time we dorve it just takes getting used to.

If I was offered the chance fuck that im going!!!

[Teh Boi 113]

-snip-

 

Still, I am pretty sure Faust said that they reproduced like normal, earth mammals.

I think she said that on her dA account or something.

[HungryTroll 137]

1. No hands!

2. No meat!

3. Could end up as moon prisoner.

4. Realy a lot of strange and dangerous things around (Dragons, hydras, e.t.c.)

5. Dont like the Idea that someone watch my life via TV.

 

I would agree to give a try for week or two, but not for life time.

 

how hard would it be to imagine a way in which they can perform fecondation and birthgiving without all the stuff REAL mammals put up with?

But what wrong with fecondation and birthgiving?

 

Otherwise, cartoon characters can bend, stretch

Always thought that it's just Pinkie special ability

[silvadel 1,393]

First off I will address the first 5 points:

 

5: I know pretty much how I look in Equestria -- except for the eye color as I havent done the mirror thing in a dream there as of yet(should put that on my list) -- Thing is I am a pegasus there. And yes that doesnt solve a lot of the problems a human would have there as I can not levitate things.

 

One thing though -- you are saying that you might not like your job as a pony. That is for the most part wrong. Pegasus are pretty much wired to have fun working with the weather -- it just flows naturally and feels good doing. This is kind of the same way with earth ponies. They are at home with the apples and much more than it would for a unicorn doing the same thing, gives them a deep sense of satisfaction.

 

This kind of moves naturally into 4)... Yes I do think the ponyville ponies are happier in general than many of the ponies living in manehattan. The reason for this is they are in their element while the manehattan ponies are NOT.

 

As for 3) Yes they havent conquered the world in quite the way people have ours. And their civilians seem to panic a bit. And their numbers are a bit lower than they would need to be to really eclipse the world. BUT they have the tools, and I think they would be quite formidable if the need arose. Unicorns and Pegasi working together could stymie a far more advanced attacking force.

 

2) That assumes you spent the time learning all the social memes of humanity in the first place. I would guess most of us are in the awkward category because being NOT in the awkward category takes a whole-hearted devotion to it that makes it much harder to achieve elsewhere. As for the social memes of ponies -- they seem quite a bit easier than ours. At least for the most part they arent looking to make you uncomfortable when you do not meet them. Plus clothing optional kind of takes another major issue off the table. In my case though I have another issue that would make romance really unlikely to happen....

 

1) Yes it is another world -- but it is a world created specifically to be better than ours on a companionship basis. The novel always has an attraction. I mean I would accept being a dragon in a fantasy world also. I am not beholden to the human form even though it does have a certain practicality to it. From a dispassionate standpoint, hooves are the worst possible "hand" type to have when it comes to manipulating the world around you. I have even considered the possibility that on some level Equestria is a spirit trap.

 

-----

 

All this said -- it is not what comes at the beginning that would be the problem for most of us as a pony. I mean one could get into real trouble -- I know in my fanfic my character gets to see that "Every Castle has a Dungeon." But the primary issues would come years down the line. As the unfamiliar became familiar one might end up back where one started -- Especially once you have learned everything you need and later everything you pretty much can with regard to improving yourself.

 

Plus elderly ponies do not seem to have nearly as good a time as the elderly do here. I mean not only haven't we seen all that many of them, but when you are post able to do what you were meant for there, it doesnt seem like there is much to do with your time. I mean this could have a lot to do with the state of health care in Equestria, or how ponies tick (maybe they have a long productive life but a relatively short elderly period before they expire).

 

I don't think the lack of technology would be as painful as most of us would think -- at least during ones productive period. Yes it would be more of an issue in your downtime -- and much more at the end of life.