Help me! I'm going insane!

[Ronaan 21]

I'm just going to start with my attitude. I am (was) the most optimistic person you'll ever meet. I was able to take ANYTHING you throw at me. I was going fine, until I accepted the challenge of reading Rainbow Factory from a friend. That's when it changed.

 

I see my optimism as a thick steel shell around me blocking out hate, and containing my hate inside. After reading, I felt as if I should be mortified, but I wasn't! I came out of reading it feeling like I didn't read it at all! The next day, I felt the depression growing inside me, but the "optimism shell" kept it contained. I decided to let the depression out to make me feel better (my hands and arms were shaking and all I could think about was the story, but I still was unable to think of depressing thoughts). Now I cannot keep it contained, but I still never broke. I need a good cry after reading such a horror, and I can't make it happen. Please help me! I don't feel human right now, and need to cry to convince myself otherwise (I'm a guy btw)

 

Please give me depressing things to see. I need to break!

Edited July 28, 2012 by Ronaan

[Pinkazoid 3,493]

Rainbow Factory?

 

I didn't find it scary, it was weird, and it was pretty messed up, but not scary, if were you, I wouldn't keep my hate locked off from getting me, it was something that I thought was easy to do, and then I realized, that the hate had managed to get in, and it just took a little spark to light it, which always ends pretty bad, and not only hate but basically ant negative feeling.

 

You're not growing insane, it's just that you're conflicted... if you want a sad read, you should read "The Last Party" "The Last Laugh" "Somewhere only we know" .....hmm... I'll give ya'h more stories in the morning, it's late and I don't think very well at this time of the day....

[Crispy 5,563]

What?

 

Dude, Rainbow Factory is one of the best realized fanfics in the gore section. It's succinct, it's to the point, it wraps the story up without the need for numerous re-edits... it's great.

 

Not to mention the song/remixes of it are fantastic.

 

Just learn to draw the line between FiM and the fics. My headcanon lives between FiM and Tumblr, so I may be a bit bias.

[Ronaan 21]

Rainbow Factory?

 

I didn't find it scary, it was weird, and it was pretty messed up, but not scary, if were you, I wouldn't keep my hate locked off from getting me, it was something that I thought was easy to do, and then I realized, that the hate had managed to get in, and it just took a little spark to light it, which always ends pretty bad, and not only hate but basically ant negative feeling.

 

You're not growing insane, it's just that you're conflicted... if you want a sad read, you should read "The Last Party" "The Last Laugh" "Somewhere only we know" .....hmm... I'll give ya'h more stories in the morning, it's late and I don't think very well at this time of the day....

 

Thank you for the advice, but I'm different. Either there was a way for me to lock up my hate, or at least keep it dormant all these years, or there was just no spark to set it off. I'll read those stories, in hopes I do finally break and manly tears drip onto my keyboard.

 

What?

 

Dude, Rainbow Factory is one of the best realized fanfics in the gore section. It's succinct, it's to the point, it wraps the story up without the need for numerous re-edits... it's great.

 

Not to mention the song/remixes of it are fantastic.

 

Just learn to draw the line between FiM and the fics. My headcanon lives between FiM and Tumblr, so I may be a bit bias.

 

I know the line between FIM and Fic. I've crossed it and crossed back many times. I agree that Rainbow Factory was a good read, but everyone I know was mortified by it for at least a few days. I never was, but I still crave it. I am listening to the song/remix right now, so I never said it was bad. I'm just craving the depression, since I let it out again after all these years.

[Pinkazoid 3,493]

Thank you for the advice, but I'm different. Either there was a way for me to lock up my hate, or at least keep it dormant all these years, or there was just no spark to set it off. I'll read those stories, in hopes I do finally break and manly tears drip onto my keyboard.

 

No probs dude, if you want a long read, and think things through, see the characters, and how they grow in the story, and connect to them, I'd recommend "Not My Destiny" I didn't know what I was reading at first, but by the end, it sure made me shed a tear or two xD

 

I know the line between FIM and Fic. I've crossed it and crossed back many times. I agree that Rainbow Factory was a good read, but everyone I know was mortified by it for at least a few days. I never was, but I still crave it. I am listening to the song/remix right now, so I never said it was bad. I'm just craving the depression, since I let it out again after all these years.

 

Funny thing, the first fanfic I recommended is actually Pinkie going through depression, pretty sad ending though...

[Crispy 5,563]

I'm just craving the depression, since I let it out again after all these years.

 

Lol there are much better things to let depression out over than MLP.

 

Might I suggest the Dark Tower series? I can say I've almost never cried during a story other than that one. (FO: E and LOTR being the exceptions).

[One 498]

Uhm ok... So let me get this straight, you are depressed by some fanfic that you read? So you want us to cheer you up or something?

[Crispy 5,563]

Uhm ok... So let me get this straight, you are depressed by some fanfic that you read? So you want us to cheer you up or something?

 

Well, from the sounds of it, he wants to be depressed. Hence why I'm steering him clear of MLP. This stuff shouldn't be actually depressing. Even the gorefics have a sense of to them, usually.

[Ronaan 21]

Uhm ok... So let me get this straight, you are depressed by some fanfic that you read? So you want us to cheer you up or something?

 

No, I want you to do just the opposite. I need to break, I need to be mortified. Give me things that will make be emotionally unstable, because I just broke my optimism shell and I'm conflicted with so many emotions right now. I need just one to stand out, and depression is the only one that I haven't felt in years. Kinda weird, huh?

[Somebody 570]

Interesting, so you're so optimistic that you want to be depressed? Are you in need of a break from what feels like an artificial happiness, or are you concerned that you're not feeling sad emotions when you think you should? I wouldn't worry about it as an insanity. You might just need a break from whatever you've been doing.

 

If you really want to read some serious tear-jerkers to stimulate your emotions, finding the right story is probably going to be a search in itself. One story may seem benign to most, while that same story can be heart-wrenching to another. "Story of the Blanks" had me crying all night, and it wasn't even that scary--I cried for all the souls bound to one location because of a grudge. You really just have to find what tugs on your heartstrings.

[Ronaan 21]

Interesting, so you're so optimistic that you want to be depressed? Are you in need of a break from what feels like an artificial happiness, or are you concerned that you're not feeling sad emotions when you think you should? I wouldn't worry about it as an insanity. You might just need a break from whatever you've been doing.

 

If you really want to read some serious tear-jerkers to stimulate your emotions, finding the right story is probably going to be a search in itself. One story may seem benign to most, while that same story can be heart-wrenching to another. "Story of the Blanks" had me crying all night, and it wasn't even that scary--I cried for all the souls bound to one location because of a grudge. You really just have to find what tugs on your heartstrings.

 

That pretty much hit the nail on the head. My optimism doesn't feel real anymore, I don't feel like myself, and I certainly don't feel human. That's what scares me the most. I just need something to prove that I'm human, not some monster who enjoys horror fictions. My friend is telling me to stop doing this to myself, but I can't go back to optimism without going through this first.

[Pinkazoid 3,493]

Interesting, so you're so optimistic that you want to be depressed? Are you in need of a break from what feels like an artificial happiness, or are you concerned that you're not feeling sad emotions when you think you should? I wouldn't worry about it as an insanity. You might just need a break from whatever you've been doing.

 

If you really want to read some serious tear-jerkers to stimulate your emotions, finding the right story is probably going to be a search in itself. One story may seem benign to most, while that same story can be heart-wrenching to another. "Story of the Blanks" had me crying all night, and it wasn't even that scary--I cried for all the souls bound to one location because of a grudge. You really just have to find what tugs on your heartstrings.

 

hey bro, being optimistic is a pretty hard job, if I don't frown every now and then, I'm gonna start looking like the joker >.>

[SonOfTheNorthe 412]

I'm not sure what would give you a good cry. Some black metal might help a bit, though.

 

Just close your eyes, and let the emotion flow though you. And, that's all I can do for you.

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXBEf0D9brw

 

 

 

If you REALLY wanna pull out the big guns, try some shrooms or some acid. Just be sure to have a friend or two with you. You don't wanna be committing suicide in case of a bad trip.

 

Edited July 28, 2012 by SonOfTheNorthe

[Ronaan 21]

I'm not sure what would give you a good cry. Some black metal might help a bit, though.

 

Just close your eyes, and let the emotion flow though you. And, that's all I can do for you.

 

 

http-~~-//www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXBEf0D9brw

http-~~-//www.youtube.com/watch?v=57fLMBk1cAw

 

 

 

If you REALLY wanna pull out the big guns, try some shrooms or some acid. Just be sure to have a friend or two with you. You don't wanna be committing suicide in case of a bad trip.

 

 

I didn't even know this existed! This really helped, along with CandleJack's stories, this really brought out my depression. just a few more hours of this, and I'll let my optimism grow back to as full as I can get it. Thank you!

[SonOfTheNorthe 412]

I didn't even know this existed! This really helped, along with CandleJack's stories, this really brought out my depression. just a few more hours of this, and I'll let my optimism grow back to as full as I can get it. Thank you!

 

Would you like more? I can PM you. (Because this forum only allows for a maximum of two youtube links on posts like this)

[Ronaan 21]

Thank you guys so much, I haven't cried like this in years! I'm so releived to be depressed and manly crying. I'm saving this page in my bookmarks to come back to if I need help again. :"D

 

Would you like more? I can PM you. (Because this forum only allows for a maximum of two youtube links on posts like this)

 

I found the Instrumentals to be better for me.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1LKaeykZVA

 

Thank you for helping me cry. I really needed it. /)

[thegoodhen 698]

Thank you guys so much, I haven't cried like this in years! I'm so releived to be depressed and manly crying. I'm saving this page in my bookmarks to come back to if I need help again. :"D

 

 

I found the Instrumentals to be better for me.

 

http-~~-//www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1LKaeykZVA

 

Thank you for helping me cry. I really needed it. /)

 

Ah... When I finally got at excuse to make somepony feel like dirt for the first time of my life, It turns out that it would no longer be acceptable. And I wanted to do it in order to understand how haters feel. :/ Never mind. Glad you are happy again!

[Whiteshade 1,426]

Odd request.... well if you want depressing, I would recommend the animes "Shiki" or "Elfen Lied". I can't describe them in detail as that would go against the ToS, but both are pretty dark, depressing, and emotional.

[Motion Spark 7,806]

Maybe i'm from Mars or from another universe, but it is really possible to feel ALL these things by just reading?

[Page Turner 607]

You want to cry? Try 'My Little Dashy' If that Doesn't work, 'pretty in pink' Or if all else fails, go to FIMfiction, and browse the 'Sad' catagory.

[CharlieManson 38]

This band has a way of making you feel like shit. I've never actually heard of a band that conveys emotion so well that it makes you feel that emotion. Best band ever, Lonesome Wyatt is a genius.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dO0tKB7WS5o

[Skullbuster 1,906]

if it makes you feel better, i wasnt mortified either, heck not even cupcakes shook me, i actually liked that one, and dude, i envy your optimism, im a pessimist so i expect the worst from things

 

its ok to be apathetic about some things

[Somebody 570]

Part of me has a very cynical nature, but I don't like myself when I get like that. So what I try to do is look for a silver lining in everything. It works for me, and I can function as a pseudo-optimist.

 

I've found myself at both extremes, really. But honestly, I've cried so many tears in my life that I don't need any more; that's why I avoid the "Sad" category of fanfics. I'm perfectly content to indulge only my optimist side and ignore my dark parts. So I can't really recommend much in the way of sad stuff, simply because I avoid a lot of it.

 

This is why I like ponies: Happy rainbow sugary sunshine!! Yes, I totally just said that.

 

Oh! If you want something sad, try watching any of the newer, high class, Chinese martial arts movies. Pretty much all of those end in mutual suicides.

Edited July 29, 2012 by Questio

[Ronaan 21]

if it makes you feel better, i wasnt mortified either, heck not even cupcakes shook me, i actually liked that one, and dude, i envy your optimism, im a pessimist so i expect the worst from things

 

its ok to be apathetic about some things

 

Thank you, this does make me feel better. Although, this much optimism doesn't feel right. I don't feel human! D:

 

Ah... When I finally got at excuse to make somepony feel like dirt for the first time of my life, It turns out that it would no longer be acceptable. And I wanted to do it in order to understand how haters feel. :/ Never mind. Glad you are happy again!

 

Well, now's your chance. It's back, and stronger. You want to know how a hater feels? Go ahead, fire away. Haters have never put me down, btw.

[thegoodhen 698]

Thank you, this does make me feel better. Although, this much optimism doesn't feel right. I don't feel human! D:

 

 

Well, now's your chance. It's back, and stronger. You want to know how a hater feels? Go ahead, fire away. Haters have never put me down, btw.

 

aah, I can't. :/ I'm too much a good person. Sorry, man! You are to awesome for me to troll you! (HAHA, SUPER CLEVER BULLYING, AIN'T GONNA GIVE YA WATCHU WANT!)

 

Jokes aside, pinkie pie also always feels super happy and is OK with it. If you don't take any meds and you're just naturally happy, I guess it's ok. :/