writing Dysthymia (poem)

[MelancholicMemory 2,025]

This is one of my earlier poems about taking a defiant attitude towards depression. I wrote it when I was (obviously) kind of depressed. This poem also brings back a bit of nostalgia because many of my earlier poems had a similar structure, in which the entire poem is blocked together in one stanza. Any comments are very much appreciated.

 

"Dysthymia"

This here's my old friend
Whisperin' in my ear.
You see, he depends
Upon my despair and on my fear.
He tempts me, taunts me, tries me.
He treats me all afoul.
He keeps himself quite busy.
He's teasing me right now.
You may look upon this game, this race
And think that he offends,
But I'll keep smiling in his face
Until the bitter end.

 

What do you think?

Edited February 7, 2013 by MelancholicMemory

[ApexHunter 166]

(Had to put something different so I don't repeat myself ALL the time ) For some reason I REALLY love this one :3 Haven't quite figured out why yet...Maybe because you wrote it and it's 200% cooler because of that ^^ (I said 200% on purpose ^^)

[Twilight Circuits 603]

This is one of my earlier poems about taking a defiant attitude towards depression. I wrote it when I was (obviously) kind of depressed. This poem also brings back a bit of nostalgia because many of my earlier poems had a similar structure, in which the entire poem is blocked together in one stanza. Any comments are very much appreciated.

 

"Dysthymia"

This here's my old friend

The darkness that is in my mind.

Whisperin' in my ear.

That I cannot have my desires of love

You see, he depends

and preys on my weaknesses

Upon my despair and on my fear.

And all that i hold dear

He tempts me, taunts me, tries me.

For he knows my heart is pure

He treats me all afoul.

For he know his time is short

He keeps himself quite busy.

For the fool deceives himself

He's teasing me right now.

For that is all he knows

You may look upon this game, this race

For his game was all about race

And think that he offends,

But he knows not, that i see the truth

But I'll keep smiling in his face

and laugh at all his attempts

Until the bitter end.

For he did judge, the pony that loveth their craft.

I don't know why, but I read it and once again I felt this urge to add some flare to it. Not sure why but if I was to say something about it, it would be that I seemed to turn it around into a more positive kinda of thing? *shrug*

What do you think?

I think a lot. Yeah, a lot. No one picks my brain though.

[MelancholicMemory 2,025]

I don't know why, but I read it and once again I felt this urge to add some flare to it. Not sure why but if I was to say something about it, it would be that I seemed to turn it around into a more positive kinda of thing? *shrug*

I think a lot. Yeah, a lot. No one picks my brain though.

Thanks for another one of your great translation things! You always add such great insight.

 

And I definitely can relate to thinking a lot, but not having anyone to pick your brain. 

 

 

 

(Had to put something different so I don't repeat myself ALL the time ) For some reason I REALLY love this one :3 Haven't quite figured out why yet...Maybe because you wrote it and it's 200% cooler because of that ^^ (I said 200% on purpose ^^)

It' s getting hard for me not to sound repetitive either.   Thanks, as always