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Ponified Rewrites! (Critique AND Request!)


Aerial~Shot

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Hey guys, so I just finished doing my first rewrite/parody of a song, a Rainbow Dash version of So What? by P!NK (after I saw a Rainbow Dash PMV to it), and I'm actually quite proud of it... :blush:  I kinda want to try writing other songs for the rest of the Mane Six, and maybe other characters, too. I need a little help with two things, though:

 

1. I. Can't. Sing. And I don't know any other bronies in real life, let alone ones who are good singers, so if anyone wants to maybe sing my lyrics (best if you can do a good impression of the character, but no problem if you can't), you could either upload it to your own YouTube or email me the file (my MSN email is on my profile) and I'll upload it (My YouTube is HeyCallMeLy). But contact me first so I know, either just here, through email or YouTube. I'll post the So What? lyrics below~ ;)  Thanks!

 

2. I need some suggestions for songs to use for the other characters. If you can think of a song that could work, that maybe already sort of fits a character, tell me and I'll get on it! Also, if you already have any ideas for rewritten lines in the song, I could use them (I'll credit you, of course)

 

 

And here's RD's So What? Please tell me what you think :) I'll be going back over it and reworking it, so any help is appreciated~!

 

 

Na na na na na na na

Na na na na na na

Na na na na na na na

Na na na na na na

 

I guess I just lost my dream job

I just ran outta luck

But as long as I got my crew safe

I just don’t give a buck

I got a brand new attitude

I gotta pick up the pace

I gotta prove my worth, now

I wanna have a race

 

Na na na na na na na

I wanna start a race

Na na na na na na na

I wanna start a race!

 

So, so what? I’m still a fly girl

I got my fly moves

And I don’t need this

And guess what?

I’m having more fun

Here with my best buds

And my new sis

Tonight

I’m alright

I’m just fine

And I am too cool

So what? I am a fly girl

I got my fly moves

And I don’t need this

Tonight

 

(Uh, 20% cooler!)

 

Gilda just took our table

And she made Fluttershy cry (So)

We’ll go to Sugarcube Corner

At least we’ll see Pinkie Pie

What if that beaked jerk follows us

And starts makin’ fun o’ me?

I got my two best friends here

Gotta show loyalty

 

Na na na na na na na

Better show loyalty

Na na na na na na na

How’s this for loyalty?!

 

So, so what? ‘Cause I’m still awesome

I got my girls here

And I don’t need her

And guess what?

I got in Wonderbolts

And I beat Lightening

Now I’m a leader

And I’ll fly

I’ll get by

Don’t you try

‘Cause you’re so uncool

So what? ‘Cause I’m so awesome!

I got my cool moves

And I don’t want you

Around

 

I was replaced

By that dark Mare

I’d want it all

But that’s not fair

I wouldn’t try

No, not one look

When Twi came by

With this old book

 

So, so what? I’m not an egghead

I’m just a fangirl

‘Cause Daring’s awesome

And guess what?

I’m having more fun

Now that I’m closer

To that unicorn

I know

And I’ll show

That Rainbow

Has something to say (That’s)

“So what? I’m not some hotshot

I’m just a cool mare

And right here I’ll stay”

 

Yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah

Right here I will stay

I’ll always try

 

I’m gonna show you Harmony

Loyalty

Yeah, that’s me

Pulled of a Rainboom!

So what? ‘Cause I am Rainbow

I got my best friends

And I don’t need nothing else

 

Aww, yeah!

 

 

HEY, GUESS WHAT?! I WROTE SOME MORE!!!!!!

 

Smoke + Mirrors by Skye Sweetnam, sung by Fluttershy (the second verse is supposed to be Fluttershy talking to Rainbow Dash about the Best Young Flyer competition)

 

 

For somepony so sweet and shy

Hard to find the strength to fly

Still I thought I'd try for a while

Letting down my friends has never been my style

On my own, on my own way

 

I will try to let my fears go, my fears go

I will try to face my fear

They'll tear me up until my tears show, my tears show

Smoke and mirrors

 

(To RD)

Don't doubt your skills, don't give in

'Cause I know you can win

Don't let them know they get to you

Put on a brave face and you'll get through

On your own, on your own way

 

Bottled up is where your fears go, your fears go

You could never show your fear

All your doubts will make your tears show, your tears show

Smoke and mirrors

 

The troubles we face never end

Though I try to pretend

Without them here I can't win

I keep falling for every illusion

In my way, in all our way

 

When we're together all our fears go, our fears go

We have nothing left to fear

We smile and laugh and let out tears flow, our tears flow

Smoke and mirrors

Smoke and mirrors

 

 

Innocent by Taylor Swift, sung by Princess Celestia to multiple characters. I'll highlight each line the colour for the character it's about:

Fluttershy (Putting Your Hoof Down and Hurricane Fluttershy)

Pinkie Pie (Part of One and Baby Cakes)

Rainbow Dash (Mysterious Mare Do-Well)

Twilight Sparkle (Lesson Zero)

Princess Luna (Nightmare Moon)

The Cutie Mark Crusaders (Gabby Gums)

Babs Seed (Bullying)

All

 

 

I guess you really did it this time

Left your friends getting off track

Lost your faith in your own heart

Lost your mind tryin' to get it back

Wasn't it easier when they trusted you?

Always a big sister you could run to

Wasn't it beautiful, for a moment, you had friends again

And everypony believed in you

 

It's alright, just wait and see

Your friendship's light is still bright to me

Oh, who you are is not what you've been

You're all still innocent

You're all still innocent

 

Did some things you're not proud of

But at night you live it all again

You wouldn't be begging for forgiveness

If only you has seen what you know now then

Didn't it feel better when everypony wanted you to help?

When everything you did was out of love and loyalty

Wasn't it beautiful meeting foals who were just like you?

Before the bullies could even speak

 

It's alright, just wait and see

Your friendship's light is still bright to me

Oh, who you are is not what you've been

You're all still innocent

It's OK, and life is a tough crowd

Though a mare, you're still growing up now

Who you are is not what you did

You're all still innocent

 

Sun falls, moon comes up and

You will all understand

You cannot be perfect the first time

Go be with your friends now

You can soar through the clouds

My little pony, it's fine

Now is your time

 

It's alright, just wait and see

Your friendship's light is still bright to me

Oh, who you are is not what you've been

You're all still innocent

It's OK, and life is a tough crowd

Though a mare, you're still growing up now

Who you are is not what you did

You're all still innocent

I know you're innocent

 

Lost your proof they could trust you, oh

It's never too late to get it back

 

Home Is Where The Heart Is by Lady Antebellum, sung by Applejack (I've got two versions of this one)

 

[VERSION 1: CUTIE MARK CHRONICLES]

 

I felt I was spinnin’ my wheels

Before too long the road was callin’

I packed everything I owned

So sure that I was leaving this

Farm girl life behind for good

Didn’t notice tears were fallin’

It took leaving for me to understand

Sometimes your dreams just aren’t what life has planned

 

Granny said “Home is where the heart is”

When I left that town

I made it all the way up to Manehatten

And that’s when my heart found

Exactly where I’m supposed to be

Then, I didn’t know

It’s just at the end of a rainbow

It’s just at the end of a rainbow, oh

 

I worked so hard, tried to act all fancy

Only stayed ‘cause I thought I could handle

Everything that I’d learn from my family

That’s when I saw the brightest flash of

Colours I’d seen in all my life

When I saw where it was goin’ it became so clear

And I could feel those dreams inside shifting gears

‘Cause love brought me here

 

Granny said “Home is where the heart is”

When I left that town

I made it all the way up to Manehatten

And that’s when my heart found

Exactly where I’m supposed to be

Then, I didn’t know

It’s just at the end of a rainbow

It’s just at the end of a rainbow, oh

 

And I ran with all I had back down those tree-lined roads

Saw Granny smilin’ with teardrops in her eyes

And then I realised there’s something Granny’s always known

Love is what I’d really like to find

 

She said “Home is where the heart is”

When I left that town

I made it all the way up to Manehatten

And that’s when my heart found

Exactly where I’m supposed to be

Then, I didn’t know

It’s just at the end of a rainbow

It’s just at the end of a rainbow

 

Granny said “Home is where the heart is”

(It’s just at the end of a rainbow)

Granny said “Home is where the heart is”

(It’s just at the end of a rainbow, oh, oh)

Oh, oh

 

 

[VERSION 2: THE LAST ROUNDUP]

 

I felt I was ready to win

Before too long the road was callin’

I thanked the ponies back home

So sure that I’d be coming back

With some cash and a bright blue ribbon

To save our Town Hall from fallin’

It took leaving for me to understand

Sometimes your dreams just aren’t what life has planned

 

Granny said “Home is where the heart is”

When I left that town

I was fast and strong and tough

But they knocked me down

Wasn’t the way it was meant to be

I couldn’t face them now

I’d have to find another way around

I’d have to find another way around

 

I worked in Dodge on a cherry orchard

Only stayed to save a little money to

Send home to fix up the Town Hall

That’s when I saw the widest pair of sky blue eyes

And voices calling my name

And I made a promise then that I could never keep

So I ran away when they were fast asleep

‘Cause I thought they’d hate me

 

Granny said “Home is where the heart is”

When I left that town

I made it all the way down to Dodge Junction

And there I was found

Should’ve known they’d want me

My heart, not my skills

Soon I was headed back to Ponyville

Soon I was headed back to Ponyville

 

And now I’m standing with my friends and with my family

I get it now, I see nopony cared

Now I realise it’s not the ribbons or the bits

I never had a reason to be scared

 

I know home is where the heart is

It’s here in this town

I made it all the way to Dodge and back here

And that’s when my heart found

Exactly where I’m supposed to be

It didn’t take much time

Just needed help from these here friends of mine

Just needed help from these here friends of mine

 

Mine

 

Mrs Robinson by Simon & Garfunkel "Miss Rarity" - requested by TheLionPaladin

I hope you like it :D

 

And here’s to you, dear Miss Rarity

Blueblood loves you more than you will know

Whoa, whoa, whoa

Celestia bless you, dear Miss Rarity

We’re hanging onto every word you say

Hey, hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey

 

We’d like to know a little bit about the work you do

We’d like to know more on your royal friends

Look around you, all you see are hopeful, humble eyes

Stroll around the grounds, it’s where you feel at home

 

And here’s to you, dear Miss Rarity

Blueblood loves you more than you will know

Whoa, whoa, whoa

Celestia bless you, dear Miss Rarity

We’re hanging onto every word you say

Hey, hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey

 

Hiding from your friends, something that they won’t understand

Try to keep it quiet, they won’t notice

It’s a little secret, just dear Rarity’s affair

Most of all, don’t tell Jet Set and Uppercrust

 

Coo-coo ca-choo, dear Miss Rarity

Blueblood loves you more than you will know

Whoa, whoa, whoa

Celestia bless you, dear Miss Rarity

We’re hanging onto every word you say

Hey, hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey

 

Staying in a suite in Canterlot with the Princess

Going out to parties, races, auctions

Laugh about it, shout about it

But now, you’ve got to choose

Every way you look at it, you lose

 

Where have you gone, Hoity Toity, now?

Our darling mare, she turns her eyes to you

Woo, woo, woo

What’s that you say, oh, Miss Rarity?

Hoity Toity’s left and gone away

Hey, hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey

 

Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift (2 versions)

 

VERSION 1: Applejack to Apple Bloom

 

Your little hooves wrapped around my foreleg

And it’s so quiet in the world tonight

Your little eyelids flutter ‘cause you’re dreamin’

So I tuck you in, turn on your favourite night-light

To you, everything’s funny, you got nothing to regret

I’d give all I have, honey, if you could stay like that

 

Oh, darling, don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up

Just stay this little

Oh, darling, don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up

It could stay this simple

I won’t let nopony hurt you

Won’t let bullies break your heart

Nopony will desert you

Just try to never grow up

Never grow up

 

You’re at the ‘Corner for a cuteceneara

And you’re mortified, there’s something you ain’t got

At your age, there’s just so much you can’t do

And you can’t wait for your mark to come, and call your own shots

But don’t try to force it to come to soon

Remember, there’s others that’re just like you

And don’t lose the way that you dance around

In your bedroom getting’ ready for school
 

Oh, darling, don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up

Just stay this little

Oh, darling, don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up

It could stay this simple

Nopony’s ever burned you

Nothing’s ever left you scarred

And even though you want to

Just try to never grow up

 

Take pictures in your mind of your foalhood

And ooh-ooh-mm-mmm

Memorise what it sounded like when your friends came home

Remember the hoofsteps

Remember the words said

And all o’ Granny Smith’s favourite songs

I just realised everything I have is someday gonna be gone

 

All alone in an empty farmhouse in a small town

I just dropped you off

It’s so much colder than I thought it would be

So I tuck myself in, and turn my night-light on
 

Wish I’d never grown up

Wish I’d never grown up

 

Oh, I don’t wanna grow up

Wish I’d never grown up

Could still be little

Oh, I don’t wanna grow up

Wish I’d never grown up

Could still be simple
 

Oh, darling, don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up

Just stay this little
Oh, darling, don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up

It could stay this simple

 

I won’t let nopony hurt you

Won’t let bullies break your heart

And even though you want to

Please try to never grow up, oh

Don’t you ever grow up

Oh

(Never grow up)

Just never grow up
 

 

VERSION 2: Pinkie Pie to Pumpkin Cake and Pound Cake

 

Your little hooves wrapped around my foreleg

And it’s so quiet in the world tonight

Your little eyelids flutter ‘cause you’re dreamin’

So I tuck you in, turn on your favourite night-light

To you, everything’s funny, you got nothing to regret

I’d give all I have, honeys, if you could stay like that

 

Oh, darlings, don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up

Just stay this little

Oh, darlings, don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up

It could stay this simple

I won’t let nopony hurt you

Won’t let no-one break your hearts

Nopony will desert you

Just try to never grow up

Never grow up

 

You’re on a cart ride on the way to a friend’s house

And you’re mortified, your mom’s droppin’ you off

At your age there’s just so much you can’t do

And you can’t wait to move out someday and call your own shots

But don’t make her drop you off around the block

Remember that she’s getting older too

And don’t lose the way you both fly

Around in your bedroom when I’m lookin’ for you


Oh, darlings, don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up

Just stay this little

Oh, darlings, don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up

It could stay this simple

Nopony’s ever burned you

Nothing’s ever left you scarred

And even though you want to

Just try to never grow up
 

Take pictures in your mind of your foalhood

And ooh-ooh-mm-mmm

Memorise what it sounded like when your dad gets home

Remember the hoofsteps

Remember the words said

And all of each other’s favourite songs

I just realised everything I have is someday gonna be gone

 

So here I am in my new apartment in a new city

You just dropped me off

It’s so much colder than I thought it would be

So I tuck myself in and turn my night-light on


Wish I’d never grown up

Wish I’d never grown up
 

Oh, I don’t wanna grow up

Wish I’d never grown up

Could still be little

Oh, I don’t wanna grow up

Wish I’d never grown up

Could still be simple

 

Oh, darlings, don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up

Just stay this little

Oh, darlings, don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up

It could stay this simple

 

I won’t let nopony hurt you

Won’t let no-one break your heart

And even though you want to

Please try to never grow up, oh

Don’t you ever grow up

Oh

(Never grow up)

Just never grow up


 

Hypocrite by Skye Sweetnam, sung by Pinkie Pie (I kinda feel this is a Pinkie-breaks-the-Fourth-Wall-and-talks-to-the-Haters sort of thing)

 

 


Bubblegum, braniac

Baby girl, ultra brat

Angst schmangst, no thanks

Hope my party doesn’t tank

Nightmare Moon, Rainbow Dash

Chocolate rain, cool moustache

Big smiles all the way

Hey, hey, hey, hey!


Don’t try to label me “hypocrite”

‘Cause I will do what I want to

Some will say that I’m out of it

But I will be who I want to

Parasprites, never stop

Star search, lollipop

Counterfeited copy craze

Wannabe, never-was

Nerd, geek, super freak

Throw a party every week

Granny’s girl, teacher’s pet

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!


Don’t try to label me “hypocrite”

‘Cause I will do what I want to

Some will say that I’m out of it

But I will be who I want to

 

Don’t try to label me “hypocrite”…

Don’t try to label me “hypocrite”…

 

I will do what I want to

(Hey, hey!)

I will do what I want to

(Hey, hey!)

I will do what I want to

(Hey, hey!)

I will do what I want to

 

Don’t try to label me “hypocrite”

‘Cause I will do what I want to

Some will say that I’m out of it

But I will be who I want to

Some will look at me and vomit

But I will look how I want to

Some will hear me and not get it

But I will say what I want to


Don’t try to label me “hypocrite”…
Don’t try to label me “hypocrite”…


I will do what I want to

(Hey, hey!)

I will do what I want to

(Hey, hey!)

I will do what I want to

(Hey, hey!)

I will do what I want to


I will do what I want to

Hey, hey!

I will do what I want to

Hey, hey!

I will do what I want to

Hey, hey!

I will do what I want to

 

Edited by Aerial~Shot
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It's a good start, but I hate to be little hard on you, but, at certain parts it's kinda cheesy. Maybe ponify it to a certain degree, one that you can handle. Maybe you stuffed a little too much Rainbow Dash in there. 

Hmm... :huh:  yeah, I guess it is in places... I'll have another look over it, thanks! Are there any specific parts you think I need to go over?

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Well, there is the last part

 

 

I’m gonna show you Harmony

Loyalty

Yeah, that’s me

Pulled of a Rainboom!

So what? ‘Cause I am Rainbow

I got my best friends

And I don’t need nothing else

 

Aww, yeah!

 
 
Scrap the "Aww, yeah". It kinda kills it a little
 
Honestly, and this is from my 13 years of musical experience, the whole thing needs to be worked on. It kinda focuses on awesomeness a little TOO much. Vary it up, tell a story through your song, because it is just repetition. Think about what struggles Rainbow Dash had to go through. Here's a link to my song about Rainbow Dash, maybe it will you some inspiration on how to revamp your song.  http://mlpforums.com/topic/44211-til-the-end-a-tribute-to-rainbow-dash/
 
Also, you might wanna check out this other song I wrote. Feel free to critique it as well http://mlpforums.com/topic/41153-the-cutie-mark-choronicles-lyrics/
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That looks pretty good to me. I guess just about everypony knows I like doing song parodies myself, it's fun and a bit of a challenge to ponify the lyrics :)

 

Keep it up! B)

Thank you! Do you happen to have any of your own work on here, or anywhere else really, that I could take a look at for some inspiration?

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Well, there is the last part

 

 

I’m gonna show you Harmony

Loyalty

Yeah, that’s me

Pulled of a Rainboom!

So what? ‘Cause I am Rainbow

I got my best friends

And I don’t need nothing else

 

Aww, yeah!

 
 
Scrap the "Aww, yeah". It kinda kills it a little
 
Honestly, and this is from my 13 years of musical experience, the whole thing needs to be worked on. It kinda focuses on awesomeness a little TOO much. Vary it up, tell a story through your song, because it is just repetition. Think about what struggles Rainbow Dash had to go through. Here's a link to my song about Rainbow Dash, maybe it will you some inspiration on how to revamp your song.  http://mlpforums.com/topic/44211-til-the-end-a-tribute-to-rainbow-dash/
 
Also, you might wanna check out this other song I wrote. Feel free to critique it as well http://mlpforums.com/topic/41153-the-cutie-mark-choronicles-lyrics/

I have to say, I was a little unsure of adding the "Aww, yeah" there, but I was thinking if it would be a good idea, if I uploaded it, to use the audio from the show, when she gets her element necklace. I kept it in when I posted this to just see what people thought, so thanks for that critique.

 

The whole "focuses on awesomeness too much" thing, I can definately see that, but it is based on So What? which is sort of an aggresive and overly-confident song, so I was trying to follow that, but maybe I overdid it... Like I said, I'll look over it again and redo it. Do you think I should try go for a different song for Rainbow Dash, or at least have another option in case I can't get So What? right? Any suggestions?

 

I looked at those two songs, and I absolutely LOVED Cutie Mark Chronicles, especially the repeated "great big bang" for the first few verses, then "great big need", "great big knack" and "great big bang" in Rainbow's verse. And calling each of them "little filly". :) And, yes, I think the Rainbow Dash song might help me a little with mine. I really appreciate the help, thank you!

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I have to say, I was a little unsure of adding the "Aww, yeah" there, but I was thinking if it would be a good idea, if I uploaded it, to use the audio from the show, when she gets her element necklace. I kept it in when I posted this to just see what people thought, so thanks for that critique.

 

The whole "focuses on awesomeness too much" thing, I can definately see that, but it is based on So What? which is sort of an aggresive and overly-confident song, so I was trying to follow that, but maybe I overdid it... Like I said, I'll look over it again and redo it. Do you think I should try go for a different song for Rainbow Dash, or at least have another option in case I can't get So What? right? Any suggestions?

 

I looked at those two songs, and I absolutely LOVED Cutie Mark Chronicles, especially the repeated "great big bang" for the first few verses, then "great big need", "great big knack" and "great big bang" in Rainbow's verse. And calling each of them "little filly". :) And, yes, I think the Rainbow Dash song might help me a little with mine. I really appreciate the help, thank you!

No problem! Just remember when ponifying a song, just don't put too much repetition of a theme. Vary it up until it gets back to the chorus. 

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I know it's an old song but if you did an MLP version of sweet Caroline I would happily sing it for you. Though if you don't want to do it it's fine

Hmm, that could be good... Y'know, I'll have to listen to it again, it's been a while  :P  OK, I'll give it a try! Thanks for the suggestion :)

 

No problem! Just remember when ponifying a song, just don't put too much repetition of a theme. Vary it up until it gets back to the chorus. 

I'll keep that in mind, thanks again!

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Also I could do a pony version of mrs Robinson I got that song stuck in my head and my friends say I sing it really well so if you would like to do that that would be awesome

Ah, I love that song, it has been way, WAY too long since I last heard Mrs Robinson :lol:  Yeah, I'll give it a try~! Thanks ^^ Can you think of any one character it could fit or should it just be a general one/multiple characters?

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I know your pain I wrote this Ponified lyric of

and each time the song gets on my playlist my mind automaticaly change it XD. I hope I could have a band to play it  :(

 

 

 

Silver Gaze

 

I hail from the flatlands of Equestria

At a place that once boast love and harmony

She was banished for many moons to a land afar

But the cruel years away changed everything

 

And she said "Why, I cant I get back tae

under the night and her stars"

 

Mare with the silver gaze - Aaaaah!

Mare with the silver gaze - Aaaaah!

 

The centuries had taken their toll on her

Her face was sadden beaten and her soul pierced

I had never seen a gaze more shining than hers

And a tear did fall as she looked up at me

 

And she said "Why, I can’t I get back tae

Under the night and her stars?"

 

Mare with the silver gaze - Aaaaah!

Mare with the silver gaze - Aaaaah!

 

I shall travel with thee

To see your folks in Canterlot

With their blessing, on one knee

I shall ask for your moon shine

 

Mare with the silver gaze - Aaaaah! [x4]

 

I shall travel with thee

To see your folks in Canterlot

With their blessing, on one knee

I shall ask for your moon shine 

 

 

-----

 

Just wanted to share

Edited by Colt
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Mrs Robison could be rarity and instead of Jesus loves you blueblood loves you. Also or sweet Caroline it could Sweet Applejack

Oooh, yeah, that would work really well! :D I think I might have some ideas already for Mrs Robinson, too~ I'm gonna need to think more for Sweet Caroline...  :huh: Do you have any lines I could use?

 

I know your pain I wrote this Ponified lyric of

and each time the song gets on my playlist my mind automaticaly change it XD. I hope I could have a band to play it  :(

 

 

 

I hail from the flatlands of Equestria

At a place that once boast love and harmony

She was banished for many moons to a land afar

But the cruel years away changed everything

 

And she said "Why, I cant I get back tae

under the night and her stars"

 

Mare with the silver gaze - Aaaaah!

Mare with the silver gaze - Aaaaah!

 

The centuries had taken their toll on her

Her face was sadden beaten and her soul pierced

I had never seen a gaze more shining than hers

And a tear did fall as she looked up at me

 

And she said "Why, I can’t I get back tae

Under the night and her stars?"

 

Mare with the silver gaze - Aaaaah!

Mare with the silver gaze - Aaaaah!

 

I shall travel with thee

To see your folks in Canterlot

With their blessing, on one knee

I shall ask for your moon shine

 

Mare with the silver gaze - Aaaaah! [x4]

 

I shall travel with thee

To see your folks in Canterlot

With their blessing, on one knee

I shall ask for your moon shine 

 

 

-----

 

Just wanted to share

... Wow, just wow. That's awesome :D  Thanks for sharing, that'll probably inspire me a little for my other rewrites, and, yeah, my mind has started changing the couple of songs I've already done :P

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Will do the cover of Mrs Robison to Miss's Rarity soon i promise and will put it up on youtube. Will give you full credit for it thanks!

You're very welcome, I'm glad you like it :D If you don't mind, put a link to my channel in the video description, you can find it on my profile~ ^^

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Your idea of the rewrites is still in my mind XD so I just had too keep going with The Darkness rewrites so here it is "Pegasus Wings" rewrite from Dinner Lady Arms by The Darkness

 

 

 

Pegasus Wings

 

We had a good thing, it was a blast
That was before you just fly out to dash
You run from problems and  I couldn’t help
And I have regretted that to this day

I know back there it caused to you so much ache
But what you saw in me will hopefully always be there
I'll never hurt you again, I swear

So put your
feathers around me, your pegasus wings ,
put your
feathers around me, your pegasus wings!

I couldn't figure out where your colors were gone
I thought that I could live without your Rainbow
I was so wrong
put your
feathers around me, your pegasus wings!
Your pegasus wings

Forgive and forget I brought that pain
Please find it in your heart to start again

I know I'll never be your Stalion Right
But I'm happy I'll be the stalion that will do for tonight
I'll never let you out of my sight.

So put your
feathers around me, your pegasus wings,
put your
feathers around me, your pegasus wings!

I couldn't figure out where your colors were gone
I thought that I could live without your Rainbow
I was so wrong, put your
feathers around me, your pegasus wings!

I may be light years past on my sell-by date
but there's what we are forgetting, it's not too late
put your
feathers around me, your pegasus wings!

 

 

I want to find a band to cover them Y.Y

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Your idea of the rewrites is still in my mind XD so I just had too keep going with The Darkness rewrites so here it is "Pegasus Wings" rewrite from

 

 

 

Pegasus Wings

 

We had a good thing, it was a blast

That was before you just fly out to dash

You run from problems and  I couldn’t help

And I have regretted that to this day

 

I know back there it caused to you so much ache

But what you saw in me will hopefully always be there

I'll never hurt you again, I swear

 

So put your

feathers around me, your pegasus wings ,

put your

feathers around me, your pegasus wings!

 

I couldn't figure out where your colors were gone

I thought that I could live without your Rainbow

I was so wrong

put your

feathers around me, your pegasus wings!

Your pegasus wings

 

Forgive and forget I brought that pain

Please find it in your heart to start again

 

I know I'll never be your Stalion Right

But I'm happy I'll be the stalion that will do for tonight

I'll never let you out of my sight.

 

So put your

feathers around me, your pegasus wings,

put your

feathers around me, your pegasus wings!

 

I couldn't figure out where your colors were gone

I thought that I could live without your Rainbow

I was so wrong, put your

feathers around me, your pegasus wings!

 

I may be light years past on my sell-by date

but there's what we are forgetting, it's not too late

put your

feathers around me, your pegasus wings!

 

 

 

I want to find a band to cover them Y.Y

 

Ah, I really like your rewrites! :) Keep posting if you keep writing, these are great!

 

 

I'm struggling to find songs to fit other characters. I have an idea for Pinkie Pie, but I'm not sure about Twilight, the CMC, Spike or the Princesses. I think I'll try supporting/background characters, too. But I still need song ideas!!! :huh:

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I just dream with something like the next rewrite... as my alarm is set to use the song XD. I woke up and had the tune on my head with ponies so it just start flowing. The original song comes from the Anime Macross Plus (a must watch if you like mecha) its called voices, I never found a good english translation and the oficial one was in fact a re write and I must say It was terrible.

 

In a way I tried to make a lulaby like song something the mothers can sing to their foals before going to sleep, about how the world was made. Also I tried to with play some RL relation stuff as the dream and the gods can be consireded as Lauren Faust and her wish to bring a good show... So yeah here it is.

 

 

 

Dreams

Original Song - Voices (Yoko Kanno) From Macross Plus OST

 

 

The first word witch echoed on the world was DREAM

It brought the Gods and their miracles

They all wished for the Dream to spread until

 The world became blessed with it

 

The second word witch echoed on the world was Wind

Caring the Dream on it currents

Life and light sprout from soil and the earth beneath

Making the land like an Eden

 

So the gods made their wish

The world was born with this

Life now was part of it

 

They would laugh and enjoy with passion

The dream became reality

 

Children of the gods came to enrich fantasy

Playing around with the wind’s gales

They flew over the the sky and brought million stars

Taking the dream way beyond

 

Thus from It

The two sisters were born

And with them

Came moon and sun

Wake to bright and shine onto the dream that’s how all was made

 

We can fly

We have wings

We can touch

Feel and breath

Come with us

To find the magic in the dream

 

The third word witch echoed on the word was Hope

The gods left behind their children

They entrust the dream to the newborns siblings

For the creation to bloom

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://youtu.be/eN7Tvb9_hMk

 

 

If any one here knows a musician and a singer(female) open to commission I would love to get in contact with them. I want to make this one 4 real.

 

Also if you think a line can be improved tell me =D

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...
(edited)

So the rewrite ideas I have at the moment are for:

  • Pinkie Pie
  • The CMC
  • Babs Seed
  • The whole Mane 6
  • RarityxBlueblood, Rainbow Dash and Gilda, Babs, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, Fluttershy and Discord and Twilight and Trixie (I think that's too many for one song, so I need to figure out which pairs (or group) to use)
  • The Apple Family

 

I want to write songs for Twilight, Luna, Cadence, Shining Armor, each of the CMC alone, each of the villians (of course, including Discord) and some of the background ponies. Sadly, I'm struggling to find songs to fit to them. If you can think of anything, please let me know~!

Edited by Aerial~Shot
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