Rough draft, need advice on title also

[jreidsma 54]

Hi everyone

 

I don't know if anyone is going to think this is good or not. But whatever I guess, it got my mind of my headaches for a few days after exams and I kind of like it.

 

Its pretty long, but I tried not to mack it a grimdark or anything distrubing. I can't stand anything too gruesom

 

 

A train is speeding towards its destination of Canterlot, the royal castle in its sights. It has made three stops already. Three ponies sitting looking out the windows wondering what could be waiting for them when they get there. None of them have known the others for very long, just the few hours of the train ride for Canterlot. A mysterious letter from the Princesses brought them together at the train stations of their towns and villages.

 

One of them, a soft tan colored pony with silver hair is making sure that they look good enough to meet with the princess and her guards. Brushing her hair back and forth, while letting out little excited murmurs to herself.

 

"What is that you are saying again, Dream?" A light cyan Pegasus with dark blue hair lightly mentions to her new friend. "If you are that worried we will all go in with you, if you would like that is?"

 

"Oh, Rain dancer, all three of us can go in! I am sure no one would mind, we were all called over anyways."

 

"It's just a darned shame we have to wait so long to get there" complains the third of the pony friends. A light orange earth pony with dark yellow hair kept in braided pony tails.

 

"Oh oh, I have an idea! What if we talk about our cutie marks while we wait!"

 

"We have already heard your story plenty of times rainy, you just love nature and rain so much that you just couldn't help but get rain drops as yours." Peach sprinkles says with a slight grin. “We have been on the train so long that you have told us already.”

 

"We'll, yours isn't exactly a surprise either Peach" smirks Dream "It's in your name! Cut peaches as you like to share everything sweet in life I am guessing?"

 

"Aww, I didn't think I was that easy to read... What about yours then? How come we never heard 'bout your... Triangle?" An awkward silence fills the cabin of the train for a few short seconds.

 

"It's not a triangle! It's a prism with a rainbow coming out of it!"

 

"We'll, uh, ya. But what exactly does that mean?"

 

"It means that I have the power to see what a pony’s true self is like. Like a glass prism can change regular light into all the different colors in the rainbow. I know it sounds cheesy and all, but it’s not like I had a choice. And it has its perks I guess. You two seem alright so far!“ The unicorn teases with a wink and a smile.

 

A sudden screeching sound fills the cabin and the train grinds to a haunting stop. The three ponies yell fair well to the drivers and jump off to meet their destiny hoof and face first, the wonders of Canterlot striking them with awes. The amazing shops and destinations, the wonderful outfits every pony was wearing, it was all so much different than their hometown. But the real reason why they were there was a shocking letter they had received from royalty, describing in sloppy handwriting "Come to the palace, there is not much time" without any other description the ponies have realized that something is not right. All three had received the same letter without any differentiation between them.

 

Upon arrival at the palace they are greeted by a very large muscular all white royal guard.

 

"Why hello there, we are here to see the princess about this letter" explains Dream as she hands the letter to the guard. The guard looks over the letter but does not let them pass; instead he leads them in himself for some unknown reason. The last time Dream was here she was let in herself.

 

"I am terribly sorry, but the princess is away right now, she has left me with the duty of telling you what your assignment is."

 

"Wait, what do you mean away?" Question the ponies

 

"Royal business does not need to be questioned by outsiders like you three, no matter what it may have been. I am sure the princess can handle it herself."

 

"Well, is Luna here by any chance? And what may we call you for the time being?"

 

"I am lord Ornament. And sorry but whatever is going on Luna has left also, it must have been very important for both of them to leave."

 

"Ok then, so what is this assignment that we three have been tasked with. We thought it was a disaster or something by the way it was written. We all received the same exact letter, which is weird because every pony usually gets different letters from the Princess."

 

"There is a small village outside of Canterlot that has been suffering from some plague that is need of some help. The ponies of this village are unable to gain their cutie marks, no matter the age. Young fillies to the elderly, none of them are able to gain their cutie marks. None of our sources have been able to find a cure but it seems to be non contagious so we assume it is safe to find help in other ways. We understand that the princess has been getting help from you three on smaller assignments and were wondering if you would be interested in lending a hoof in this mystery?"

 

 

The three ponies look at each other with awe struck and confused glances. All three wondering what they could possibly do in this situation that the royal guard couldn't but Dream lets out a squeak "yes, we would be honored" and before they knew it they were off to the cutie mark-less village on the same train in which they had just departed.

 

"Oh girls, what have we gotten ourselves into this time..."

 

"Come on, Dream, it will be fine. We will be able to figure out somethin'. And if not, then at least we tried to."

 

"Ya, like Peach said, look at the bright side! And maybe there will be some new cool looking clouds and nature there! Oh I can't wait to meet all the new people, I hope they are nice" an excited rain Dancer starts prancing and bouncing around the cabin of the train.

 

"Hold on there, I hope they are nice also, but remember that they are all very depressed about this whole thing and that we are there to help them before anything else." As the unicorn magically picks up a book given to her by the royal guards on plagues and cutie mark related illnesses. "But it is a good idea to get friends there and a good idea of the place. I mean, if the royal guard couldn't solve this problem, what makes them think we could?"

 

As the hours pass by on the train the ponies become sleepy and end up sleeping. By morning they wake and they have nearly arrived in the town. A rather dreary town to say the least, but a town it is.

 

The three ponies start on their mission, their starting point to find out what is going on and to find the source of the "plague". They have decided that if this is not contagious, then it may not be a disease at all, but a spell or curse of some sort. So they start with the hint the royal guard Ornament gave them, Honey Darling, kind of the town mayor of sorts. She know every pony and loves every pony.

 

"Hello! Any pony home!" Yells the tan and silver Unicorn into the seemingly empty home of Honey Darling. As from around the back of the house a honey colored pony with well kept brown mane and tail comes from the back with a basket of strawberries freshly picked.

 

"Sorry to keep you waiting, I assume you three are the ones from Canterlot?"

 

"Yep, nice to meet you." Echo the three ponies

 

"We were just wondering if you had any idea of anyone who would be able to see around this area. We were thinking that perhaps the problem every pony is having may be more of a magic problem instead of a biological one." Questions Dream Prism

 

"Hmm, perhaps a few Pegasus would do? I know just the group, the weather team Mist Rider and Thunder Dash, and they should be over by the group of clouds somewhere. It's hard to miss them no matter where they are."

 

And off to the clouds the group goes in search of two ponies flying in the skies. And was Honey Darling right, two Pegasus flying at high speeds in the clouds could be seen from across town. White and yellow streaks like lightning bolts through the sky lighting up their paths shooting wherever they wanted.

 

Mist Rider was white and cyan, the commander of the weather team. He had noticed nothing unusual about the country sides or even in town. No nature changes or magical changes to be seen. And the other blue and yellow named Thunder Dash.

 

The three paid the two elderly workers a visit. The brawny brothers, covered in dust and spazzing into coughing fits every once and a while. They have nearly built this town. The first to come and settle down. And the ones to help build the newest buildings. But once again, they find have any ideas as to why no one had gained their cutie marks.

 

But Honey Darling had another idea, if magic was the problem, then the town Mage was the one to seek out. To Dream Dancer next the ponies went. A mysterious tent was we're she was found during the day.

 

"Hello Dancer?" Peach asked seemingly to a flap of a door on the tent

 

"Come inside, I am here" a welcoming voice replied to the three ponies outside. And they gratefully walked inside the tent.

 

"So, uh, we were wondering if you knew or sensed anything unusual about the magic of or around the land here that could have anything to do with every pony’s cutie marks not developing? We understand that you are the town Mage." Asked the gleeful tan unicorn, probably wanting to get some insight from another magic user.

 

"I wish it was that easy, but something seems to be blocking any sensory magic in certain areas outside the town. But I am sorry to say that I cannot pinpoint the exact location." The unicorn shakes her head in disapproval at her own lack of answers "I wish I could solve this issue like all the others this town faced"

 

"This town has faced other issues? Like what?" The rain Pegasus asked

 

"Well, a while back a few strange black pony like alicorn things flew past us. They never caused any trouble but a few... Misfortunes came shortly afterwards. A mysterious fog covers the forest every night and the cave outside the town. Along with a few of our people vanished and never returned. A week or so before they vanished they went insane and started mumbling and talking to themselves, a few days later they started twitching, then after that they started yelling out. It simply got worse after that until one night we woke up and they were gone." The unicorn cringes at th trout of what may have happened to them.

 

"Wow, sounds like this is more than the royal guards made it out to be..."

 

On the way back to Honey Darling's house the three ponies find three younger fillies fitting with what they think to be a school bully. But once they walk towards them the school bully runs off.  The three kids left look strangely familiar, wearing capes, one a green and red puffy looking unicorn. One a pink with purple pig tailed hair earth pony, and the last an all red Pegasus.

 

"Have you three noticed anything unusual happening around these parts of town?" Ask Dream Prism thinking that maybe children would be keener of noticing smaller details.

 

"You mean other than that weird orange bully?" The red Pegasus lets out a short come back and the rest of the fillies giggle and start laughing.

 

"Let me handle this Dream, I have a bit of better luck with children" as Rain Dancer winks at Dream and Peach she leans towards the three fillies "this is very important if you ever want you cutie marks, we are wanting to help everyone in town gain theirs. Do you know of anything weird or scary happening near town or anything?"

 

The three fillies look at each other and then back and rain, with a quick glance back and forth they all three yell "the cave! There were weird notices coming out of it the last few months!"

 

"Thank you so much you three, we will make sure to check it out and tell every pony what happens."

 

The three children run off yelling "cutie mark crusaders northern branch" or something of the like and the three friends re-embark on their mission with a few short giggles.

 

At the entrance of the cave the three friends stand scared out of their wits. None of them know it yet but this is not a good idea. None of them like the idea of wondering into caves, but they have to do it. In the name of Celestia they have to do it.

 

The wondering passage ways, the dark dripping tendrils reek of death and decay. Something is in here, and whatever it is isn't good. Something appears to be spread all over the walls and ceiling but only the people outside could have the stomachs to guess what it was.

 

The three just walked slowly huddled together in the hallways of this seemingly endless labyrinth of one hall. No splits or cut offs, just a one way street to the end of the cave. But that's all this cave may need when even the stench could fight off any pony with any sense at all.

 

They reach the end of the hallway and into a large dimly lit room. Spikes with some sort of goo and ooze on them from whatever victim lay there last. The fog seems dense enough to cut with a knife. The room Looks almost like some sort of old torture chamber. With a simple table in the middle and simple box in the middle of the table. Roughly sketched words are on the box that read "do not open" and then a scream is heard in the distance.

 

The three ponies look over and see another table with a cupcake, nothing more, but crudely scratched onto the table it reads "save yourselves".

 

Before they knew it all three were out of the cave with the box. Huffing and puffing like never before. All three scared like never before and never wanting to do anything like that every again. Tears swell in their eyes and they run back the Dream Dancers tent. By the time they get there they are crying and bawling clinging to the box and their sanity. Something made them cling to this box, for better or worse, it's with them now.

 

The barely awake Dream Dancer quickly tries to comfort her three new friends, and after hearing the story is glad they came back without the cupcake. She decides that they need to open the box. Whatever it is it needs to be dealt with. It may be the cause of their torment and lack of cutie marks, or it may be something far more sinister.

 

As Dream Dancer tries to un hook the box it flings her backwards into the wall of her tent like house with a thud. The box glows with weird symbols. Through the sniffling Dream Prism muddies the words "it has some sort of spell cast on it. I read about it during my studies. But I am not familiar with the spells to unlatch it"

 

"Oh do not worry, I know the spell to open this box, its not very complex but it does take a lot of magic energy. Whatever is in here was not sealed easily, and was not sealed by someone on the novice level. These boxes are often used when sealing away immortals and demons too powerful to defeat. Or when one transfers large amounts of power secretly. I have never seen it used like this before though, usually they are done in. Wonderful shrines because they are worshiped like gods." The unicorn starts to gather magic energy and Dream Prism begins to gather energy beside her, within a few hours the spell is broken.

 

With a shining glow the box slowly opens the four ponies gather in a corner ready to charge at any moment at the pending danger coming out of the tiny box. But what comes out appears more like a pony than imagined, in fact, it is a pony! An alicorn! A soft turquoise alicorn with wavy long hair that seems iridescent almost like a child's bubble colored with a rainbow. This alicorn seems younger than Celestia though, because while she does have both wings and a horn, she is still only about the size of a regular pony or maybe the size of Cadence or Luna. Her cutie mark seems confusing at first, two arrows joined a s a circle in a never ending loop. One black and one white.

 

"I thank you kind souls for freeing me from that tomb" an echoing voice fills the room, at the same time as it scares every pony it seems to heal your soul and comfort you. "I mean you no harm, I was sealed away by those blasted changelings and their king as they call him now."

 

"Wait a minute," Peach interrupts, being her usual self again "the changelings? I thought they were dealt with a long time ago back at that wedding?"

 

"Ahh, yes, those ones were. But just like us ponies the changelings may have more groups than just one if forced to I am guessing. There are a few working for some sort of being in that cave you retrieved me from. I hate to imagine what terrible things happen in there."

 

"What sort of being are we dealing with exactly?"

 

"I fear that I do not know, he seems to be formless for the time being. He simply appears as black smoke if he appears at all. Usually it's just as a thought or voice in your head. It probably knows we are here now. But I doubt that means anything to it as its plans are almost ready. It's heading to Canterlot, Luna and Celestia are its targets. For reasons unknown to me as of yet. We must hurry back to the cave, I may not be must assistance as much of my power was drained but some is better than none I guess?"

 

The four ponies run as fast as they can back to the cave. Nearly having a break down when arriving, but the alicorn uses her magic to light the cave halls. It doesn't help the stench, doesn't help the blood stained Willa's and ceiling, but it helps them to know that they are the only ones there.

 

"Hey Dream" whispers the earth pony to her friends "how do we know we can even trust this "allaycorn" anyways?"

 

"Do you remember what I said my cutie mark was for?"

 

"Nearly forgot to introduce myself, I was known as Princess Iridescence before I was locked away in that box, nice to meet you three and hope that we can know each other for a long time after this." The alicorn tries to joke but the ponies are in no mood for it, understandable knowing their situation.

 

"I, um, have a question" Rain starts to trail off again trying not to anger a being more powerful than herself. "But, um, what exactly does your, um, cutie mark arrow thingies mean?"

 

"Oh, yes, they mean equality or harmony. Good and evil coexisting together without harming one another. I am a spirit of neutrality; I stand with the side that does not harm another. But also the side that stands against the side that does harm. I may act as a judge against either side of the world if it chooses to do harm to another without reason.    More-or-less I am meant to keep peace between all if that's even possible."

 

They arrive back in the large room with the cupcake and disgusting party banners, they all look away in disgust and simply heady forward into the next hallway, which leads similarly to the last one to a large valley. The fog just nearly as dense to a castle made of black obsidian, also known as lava glass. As the four ponies charge towar the castle they are blocked by one large brute of a pony.

 

Regal masquerade, a large brute unicorn surrounded but large axes, swords, and a large number or weapons and spikes. His magic level was above anything ever felt by the three friends, and he silence that came forth from this pony’s mouth could never be explained with words. It is not simply silence. But it almost sucks the life out of you, almost makes you depressed and makes you want to give up simply by standing near him.

 

"Wait, how do we know his name? I don't remember you telling us princess?" The scared Rain Dancer stammers hoping the guard wouldn't hear.

 

"It has to be this king person they are worshipping inside. Or perhaps Regal himself communicates directly to our minds."

 

One of the huge axes starts to levitate behind Regal; it flings towards the alicorn but stops inches away from her face, her magic stopping it from getting any closer from them. As a drip of sweat starts to swell up on the alicorns face as another weapon starts to fly towards the group, this time a sword and at a faster speed.

 

The axe flies upwards hitting the sword and both fall towards the ground splintering apart. Another axe starts to levitate but Iridescence charges full speed at Regal causing him to put up a force field in front of him and the weapons to fall, the alicorn teleports to the side of the unicorn head butting him full speed into the right rib.

 

Slowly another sword rises and flies towards the alicorn, this time not alone, four more axes and swords are flying with it and terrifying speeds. The stab from the princess’s horn apparently having no effect on the unicorn aged in battle. The alicorn goes to charge another teleportation spell as her heart jolts with a stabbing pain and she falls to the ground coughing.

 

"Iridescence!" The frightened Dream prism screams at the top of her lungs as she rams the war aged Regal unicorn. Magic energy oozing out of her horn like poison into his veins. Rain dancer flies into the skies to help spot any incoming danger while Peach begins her assault on Regal as Dream Prism teleports herself and Iridescence away behind a rock.

 

"You were doing so well, what happened?"

 

"I think it is where I was trapped in that box, it really put a toll on my magic power. I didn't get to rest long enough before fighting or using my magic."

 

By the time the alicorn and unicorn come from behind the rock both the other ponies and bruised and panting, putting up a good fight against a magic user. Soon after looking at her friend’s bewilderment and confusion fills their faces, the wound left from all their attacks have healed. A one sided battle, one versus four and the four are losing. How could this be?

 

"We haven't even made it inside yet"

 

This time a large rock spike levitates into the air and quickly gains altitude, then plummets down towards the group. Iridescence stops it with her magic as Regal charges a sword right towards them. Dream, knowingly unable to stop it head on, smashes the sword into the ground with a rock right before it hits the group. As the smoke clears Regal appears right behind them, ready to strike them.

 

A flash of light blinds every pony and shoots straight through Regal sending him sideways. Looking to their left they see Iridescence, sweating again but this time standing with a smirk. They had finally beaten the behemoth guard. But with this much trouble simply getting in, what would happen if they opened the doors into the obsidian castle? The unicorn’s body turns to ash and blows away with the wind. A mighty warrior has been lost.

 

The group huddles together next to a fire they built in a cave a ways away from the castle. They stood no chance unless their wounds healed overnight. Hopefully the groups alicorn, and main fighting strength, would have her full strength by morning and be able to put up more of a fight against the empire inside those obsidian doors. Knowing that more fights, hopefully less frightening then todays, would be ahead.

"Hey Dreamy?"

 

"Ya Peachy?"

 

"There just feels like something is off about that castle. Like something's in there that shouldn't be in this world. Like in that cave..."

 

"I know what you mean."

 

As the group wakes in the morning they are all still in some pain. Aching all over from the fight but a lot better off then yesterday. They creep out of the cave and work their way back to the castle. The only way in seems to be the front gates. Or the numerous vents towards the top of the castle.

 

Rain Dancer picks up Peach Sprinkles and Iridescence picks up Dream Prism and they quickly fly their way up through the vents in the top of the castle. Even the inside of the castle seems to be made of some sort of hard black glass, what the ponies guess is obsidian enchanted to be harder then normal. Incredibly clean looking compared to the cave system were they found the box the princess was in. Along with being eerily quiet, too quiet. The feeling of something watching you the whole time. Filling your soul with unease and fear.

 

The clicking of hoof steps quickly fills the hallway the ponies were about to enter from the vent. They stop their movements and cling to the walls. What appears to be a female changeling walks under them in the halls. She is an alicorn much like the one that attacked Canterlot during the wedding, just the voice is a bit more sinister sounding as she seems to be talking to a shadow that circles her.

 

"Raven horn, I thought I told you that there should have been guards by that box..." Echoes a strange otherworldly voice

 

"I know I know, but I thought you said she wasn't going to be a problem was we drained her power" hisses back the changeling shaking her head back and forth towards the shadow as it shifts across her body.

 

"She shouldn't have been, but now she has disappeared"

 

"Well, she won't be a problem in a while"

 

The soft clicking of her hooves dissipates down the hall and the ponies assume they have left out of hearing and sight distance. Dream cast a levitation spell on everyone so they don't make any sounds while walking. And they begin to explore the obsidian castle.

 

The hallways are chaotic, no more like madness. They continue for what seems like forever. Twisting and turning, up and down. It's easy to get lost. But their searching comes to an end when they reach a large wooden door. As it opens the familiar stench of blood, death, and decay fills their nostrils. They have found the missing ponies from the town that went insane. They are either tortured and removed, or working as slaves in some weird circular device. They have some sort of magical amulets around their necks.

 

The ponies themselves look like mindless zombies. Their eyes have no coloration to them at all. Mouths hanging open and half starved. In need of medical attention as soon as possible.

 

"Hang on, we came from the village across the cave! As soon as we get these things off of you we will bring you back home where it is safe and get these wounds cleaned up..." The nurturing Rain Dancer tries to fumble with the amulets around their necks but gets an electric shock back and is stunned for a few moments.

 

"They must be connected to the owners of this castle somehow, or some sort of power source" Iridescence warns, a few moments too late though

 

"Oh thanks..."

 

And off once again they go, being sure the replace everything they touched and the doors back in place. One false move and they would be overwhelmed with the army that the other side has.

 

Into another hallway they go, this time it Leeds straight upwards,  a large number of stairs and vents lead to a large empty room with one simple glass circle in the middle. With what looks like Canterlot painted realistically in the middle. The female changeling and smoky creature are here as well. The glass painting suddenly starts to move as it fades to show lord Ornament, the royal guard, and he begins to converse with the changeling and fog creature.

 

"I hope you’re doing well my little Ornament?" An otherworldly voice echoes

 

"Why I guess you could say that, have you heard anything of those scoundrels I sent your way? I figured they may give you guys something to do for a short while."

 

"Oh, you mean the little ponies? All they have managed to do is steal a box" chuckles the female changeling. "So is the portal ready on your side yet?"

 

"Why yes, it is ready whenever you are."

 

"Excellent, we will teleport now then. But before that, why did you send the ponies that thought they were detectives?"

 

"Oh, I figured maybe it would be funny to see the looks on their faces if they figured out that we caused this plague they are so worried about."

 

Our group of four ponies exchange glances and get ready to charge in after them. They know what is coming next. A full on war against these three, and if they are anything like that guard they had outside, it will take everyone's help to defeat them.

The changeling and foggy thing jump into the glass like a pool of mercury, and then the ponies rush in after them. They arrive in the large throne room of Celestia’s castle. Ornament and Raven Horn quickly change to look like Celestia and Luna. While the smoke forms into a large alicorn shaped thing made of smoke.

 

"Do not worry; peace has been obtained in the name of me"

 

Iridescence charges and strikes another bolt of white lighting at the smoky figure. It simply fazes right through it as it has no form. The whole room turns black as night and the four ponies drop down below into what feels like a cold damp chamber. After the fog clears it appears to be the cave from before, the stench of death, decay, and blood all finished off with some dimly lit crystals.

 

"None shall impede on the reformation of my wretched darkness" the familiar shadowy figure echoes into their mind.

 

"Wow, that was a great plan" Peach thinks aloud

 

"Well, it was better than doing nothing I guess?" The hopeful Rain tries to cheer everyone up while holding back her own tears

 

The ponies search for a way out of their new dungeon like cave. There seems to be a weak spot in the wall. Iridescence is clearly letting the claustrophobia get to her, as she shoots a spazzing lighting bolt at the wall and it explodes a hole large enough to get out of.

 

As the ponies escape their prison everything seems fine. They make their way to the castle to see Luna and Celestia standing there like normal talking to the natives. But the ominous shadow still looms in the background. After the last outside pony leaves the door slams shut. The castle turns out to actually be the obsidian monstrosity of a castle and all the ponies are in the slave machines. Celestia's and Luna's room was left in tact as the throne room.

 

"Don't you think this lovely room would make a great battle field" taunts the changelings "too bad you can't take it back"

 

A shadowy creature forms into a foggy alicorn. It's wings the largest any pony has seen, the appearance of fire created by its shadowy form. It's voice like a devil’s, yet it has no eyes it still stares into your soul.

 

Iridescence smashes the shadow with a large piece of rubble against the wall while the changelings form back to their normal forms. Two black, sickly looking, hole filled, alicorns with insect like wings.

 

An axe and a sword crash through two of the windows. The shadow pony reforms as if nothing happens. It faxes behind the two changelings and gives them a nod to handle the situation. The shadowy figure begins to charge it's power onto a box similar to the one Iridescence was held in.

 

"I have but one wish, to regain my true form, and for that I need to sacrifice these two alicorns I have in this box. Is this wrong what I am doing? It was them who made me this way, now it is them who will turn me back!"

 

"What!?" The young unicorn snaps back "you have no right to steal other people happiness just so you can gain more power!"

 

The two large rock weapons turn to face the group and swing towards them stopping at the magical force of Iridescence. Dream and the other two ponies charge straight at the changelings as they are now open to attack. But as they go to head butt Raven Horn Ornament kicks Dream off the raised throne stair case. Rain Dancer quickly Catches her before she plummets out of the broken windows and flies back inside where the unicorn uses her magic to throw the broken glass at the changelings. Temporarily stunning them as Ornament puts up a force field and Raven Horn brings the two large weapons back towards them.

 

For some reason though Iridescence is still focused on something. Even though both sides seem to be on the defensive. Then a loud crack fills the room and every ponies attention goes to the large floating axe as it crumbles to the ground as shards and dust.

 

"You... What have you done?"

 

"Oh, sorry about that." A smirk on her face, Iridescence shoots back "a simple aging spell rotted your poor weapon, I'm sorry, it looks like now its a more fair fight!"

 

The other weapon slowly crumbles to the ground. The changelings furious with their precious weapons being destroyed.

 

A bolt of white light shoots from the princesses horn towards the changelings at blinding speed. Shooting Ornament against the wall, it barely fazes the strange being as he smirks to himself.

 

"You think that holy magics would really work against someone that has grown on Celestia's power and city?"

 

So Iridescence shoots a pure black bolt towards the smirking changeling, with the same effect but this time at least pushing the breath from his lungs. He falls to his knees gasping for breath as the alicorn strikes him over and over with the same bolt after bolt of pure black magic. With no physical effect to the changeling, pushing and pushing him to the brink of exhaustion. Cracking the bricks behind him until the wall shatters and Ornament falls off the castle like his name sake off a tree.

 

Raven Horn is standing alone by the throne, awe struck by the pure power struck against her companion. She teleports right behind Iridescence then teleports the alicorn outside with her wings tied. Rain Dancer quickly zooms outside to save her as Raven Horn starts to taunt Dream. walking back and forth like nothing is going to happen. Then she zaps her a few times and while the unicorn is dazed the changeling shoots Peach out the window. But too late does Iridescence and Rain come back in.

 

"Dream! What happened! And, where is Peaches?"

 

"Oh, don't worry, one has become one with nature while the other doesn't have to worry about magic troubles for a while..." Snickers the changeling in the manner she always does.

 

"Ouch, my head." The unicorn seems to be unable to use magic at all and cannot move very well. The spells the changeling hit her with did a number on her motor skills and seems to have drained her magic as well.

 

"Are you just about ready wretched Darkness?" As the changeling looks towards the shadowy figure in the corner

 

"If I was ready I would have said so"

 

"Aww come on don't be that way, I was just asking."

 

"Don't taunt us that way!" Yells a frantic charging Rain Pegasus. Slowly getting changed and frozen into obsidian as she gets closer and closer to the enemies. As she turns to stone she murmurs "it's not fair... It's not fair... I just wanted to be with..."

 

Then the rock doors slam open and a familiar face barges in, the town Mage walks in with a few wooden boxes and chains. She throws some symbols written on paper across the room's corners and walls which glow upon impact with the walls and ceiling.

 

"You, what have you done to our castle!" A grumbling sound comes from the corner were the shadowy figure sat.

 

"Now please, calm down your majesty" the now cautious Raven Horn timidly urges "I can easily clean out this new mess while you finish your work. It will only take a few minutes. Besides, it will give m more fun and ay back for what they have done already..." The shadowy figure begins to return to normal and focuses once again on the alicorn box.

 

Dancer the town Mage shoots a lighting bolt from one of the papers on the wall at Raven Horn, but its stopped by a clear orb that is around her. Next a clear force, of what seems to be a wind comes from another paper. But is once again stopped by the bubble around the strange pony like creature. Iridescence sends out a large beam of light towards the force field with pushes her back a few inches while Dancer sends another spell her way.

 

"As I thought" remarks the town Mage in almost disgust towards the changeling "you parasites have been feeding for far too long. It's a good thing I found her on the way here."

 

"Wait, found who?" The dazed unicorn still in tears about her lost friend mudders into the air.

 

"Why Peaches of course, we can't kill anyone off as she has a job that only she can do" the Mage cheers up Dream with a wink and a smile. Whether or not the young unicorn realizes what is happening is beyond her but at least the tears have stopped.

 

Meanwhile back deeper inside the obsidian castle. Peaches has managed to find the large room with the machine and slaves. Now that the changelings and Wretched Darkness are occupied the aura in the room is not as strong as before and the amulets come off the ponies who now remember who they are. After grouping them all safely outside the castle Peaches chaotically dismantles the machine. It beats like a heart on the inside and looks living. Almost like a real creature. But contains  gears and moving parts connected to the castle itself. A fragile machine, without the protection of the guards it falls apart easily.

 

Raven Horn lets out a sickly cough and her magic decreases. The feeling in the air lets the ponies know of that much. Peaches must have succeeded at her task. The final stretch is finally here in their fight, hopefully.

 

Iridescence strikes the force field around Raven Horn and it cracks, leaving an opening for Dancers lighting to find its way to break the force field completely. This sends shards in every direction as they splinter and evaporate into the air before landing or hitting anything.

 

"Look at us fools fighting like this, is it really necessary that we do this sort of thing?" As the alicorn to the changeling "We may be different, but why sacrifice another just to gain something. Why kill to be killed?"

 

"Because it’s what he wants, nothing more and nothing less. Do I have a choice?"

 

Raven Horn faints onto the ground, her magic power exhausted for the sake of another. With the enemy fainted the ponies turned to obsidian melt to normal and Dream regains her health and strength. All as the shadowy figure stands to face its enemies again.

 

"I see that neither of my guards were worthy opponents, such a shame. I should have known that they were worthless like the last ones."

 

"You should be a shamed to say such things about your followers..."

 

"Oh, you ignore the fact that I build a device disguised like a castle that emits synthetic love for them to feed on? They came to me as simple changeling workers and I made them into mighty warriors. Too bad it came with a slight price, as one may say..."

 

"Well, do we have a surprise for you!" The Mage unicorn from town says as she opens one of her boxes and sets out an amulet "you wanted a physical body so here you go!" She begins a chant and the shadowy figure begins to get sucked into the box. The other ponies begin to either throw magic at the figure or hit it until it finally goes into the spell.

 

The darkness and blackness of its soul stains the outside of the box black and the amulet red. The unicorn later seals the soul into the amulet and names it the "alicorn amulet" after its shape and the ones who fought the one inside it. It's great power could never be completely sealed away and the wearer would become tainted, the first victim Dream Dancer, managed to take the amulet off the minute she put it on in fear.

 

 

On the train ride home the three ponies and alicorn friends are talking. When suddenly Peach Sprinkles and Dream Prism begin to stare at Rain Dancer with somewhat questioning and teasing looks.

 

"So... Who was it you wanted to be with before you turned to obsidian?" The two ponies grin and ask The Pegasus. Her face turns a bright red and she hides behind a bench. The ride back home will surly be better than the one to the town. Maybe not for the rain loving pony though, she has a long ride home if she wants to keep her feelings to herself.

 

Meanwhile back at Dream Dancers tent like house the alicorn amulet has gone missing...

 

 

Edited January 21, 2013 by jreidsma

[Faceless 101]

I had a skim, it's alright   You may need an editor or hoof-reader to have a once over. I can see some mistakes in grammar.

 

Also, one thing to point out. The start of the story is meant to establish the characters. However, if they all know eachother, they aren't going to go: "You know my story, but I will tell it anyway because we may be in a story where the readers need clarification." You need to do it subtly to make it an intriguing start, slowly feeding out information to keep the reader hooked.

 

That's all. Good luck!

 

P.S. If you want anymore tips or tricks to writing, then message me. I'm always happy to help 

[jreidsma 54]

Hmm, what about having it where they don't know each other and instead introduce them each to each other and slowly become known to one another on the train ride to Canterlot?

 

I am not one witht the ways on grammer, especially not on my ipad with autocorrect

Oh god, auto correct butchered it.... sorry could everyone hold off posting for a minute while I re read the whole danged thing and correct it without autocorrect?

Edited January 21, 2013 by jreidsma

[Faceless 101]

...

Hmm, that would be a good idea. You know, don't be afraid to ask for help. There are many hoof-readers out there who are willing to give a helping hoof (no pun intended).

[jreidsma 54]

Thats why i posted on here to get some advice and proof readings to make sure it was a good idea for me to even get into fanfiction writing.

Alright, I updated the original post to hopefully have quite a few of the grammer mistakes taken out.

 

I am not the best with grammer So forgive me if I failed with it