I'd hit you with _________

[Silverhoof 2,844]

I'd hit you with the sudden realization of how awesome my collar is.

 

you'll be sorry then. yeah.

[Blue Bay 1,027]

I'd hit you with a golden hoof.

[Sleipnir Rising 115]

I'd hit you with a golden waffle.

[Blue Bay 1,027]

I'd hit you with an expression of thanks.

[7th Boss 102]

I'd hit you with a...

 

nope still too lazy

[Sleipnir Rising 115]

I'd hit you with a bottle of Red Bull.

[Sweet Dreams 1,893]

I'd hit you with a pair of 3 inch heels

[Rainblow H. Ash 5,091]

I'd hit you with a pair of 3 mile heels.

[Gay Bird 421]

Ordinarily I'd hit you with something ironic or relevant, but I'm on my phone and I can't skip to the last page so I'll just hit you with a cotton ball. Stuffed with explosives armed to go off in a low speed Collison.

[Rainblow H. Ash 5,091]

I'd hit you with a boa constrictor laced with poison that is attached to a spiked club that has laser firing out of it.

[Hastur 505]

If hit you with my brohoof!!!

[Arretez 225]

I'd hit you with a rock on a rope. I've tried using a rock on a stick, but it just doesn't hurt as much as a rock on a rope. Fact: this post has been proven through multiple tests, all of which were accidents. Basically: self inflicted injury.

[Sleipnir Rising 115]

I'd hit you with an advanced version of a rock on a rope, a flail.

[Arretez 225]

I'd hit you with a lit match after dowsing you in gasoline.

[Sleipnir Rising 115]

I'd hit you with a bear hug while I'm on fire.

[Arretez 225]

I'd hit you with the hateful lyrics of my pop culture songs.

[7th Boss 102]

I hit you with your own hooves and say why you hitting yourself

[Sweet Dreams 1,893]

I'd hit you with my foot. In the face.

[Glaci 119]

I'd hit you with... things.

[Sleipnir Rising 115]

I'd hit you with things from mars.

[SomariFeyWright 776]

I'd hit you with Mars itself.

[Sleipnir Rising 115]

I'd hit you with a black hole.

[Arretez 225]

I'd hit you with a rock! Fact: hitting someone with a rock is counted as a misdemeanor, not a felony.

[Hastur 505]

I'd hit you with this 

[Arretez 225]

I'd hit you with this 1270296172_mystic-sword.jpg

Ah, yes. The King's sword. Now I need to play the whole Sands of Time trilogy again.

To remain on topic: I'd hit you with the Dagger of Time, then reverse time just so that I could do it again.