fan fiction Planet of the ponies [some suggestive themes]

[Zalgo 593]

So... What happens when I'm bored? Edit a 174 page novel from the 80s or so, that's what! What book am I editing to be a pony version you ask? "monkey planet" of course, the epic sci-fi story by Pierre Boule that the planet of the apes movies are based off of. When I say edit into pony version I don't mean:

Before:

Bob stared at the gorilla as it was about to slap him with his hands. (not actual content from the book)

After:

Bob stared at the pony as it slapped him with his hooves.

 

Sure those will be changed, but there's some parts that have to be completely changed. If you've read the book and remember the part with the market place where the monkeys act crazy... Well you know why I would have to change that. Chapter 1 is unedited (except for some minor details) and there won't be much edited till... Chapter 3 I think. That's when the apes ponies come in.

 

At first I did this for the lulz/for fun, but I thought why not put it here?

 

I forgot! Here's the back of the book, pony version:

What if ponies were the master race?

Caging your wife, hunting and killing your brothers and sisters for sport?

And generally treating you like the animal you are?

Such is the terrifying ordeal of the man in this book story. It will startle you into some viscously though provoking questions about your place in the world. Believe us?

 

Chapter 1

 

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 Chapter one

Written by: Pierre Boulle

Jinn and Phyllis were spending a wonderful holiday in space, as far away as possible from the inhabited stars. In those days interplanetary voyages were an everyday occurrence, and interstellar travel not uncommon. Rockets took tourists to the wondrous sites of Sirius, or financiers to the famous stock exchanges of Arcturus and Aldebaran. But Jinn and Phyllis, a wealthy leisured couple, were distinguished in their cosmos for their originality and a few grains poetry. They wandered over the universe for their pleasure- by sail. 

 Their ship was a sort of sphere with an envelope- the sail -wich was miraculously fine and light and moved through space propelled by the pressure of light radiation. Such a machine left to it's own devices in the vicinity of a star will always move in a straight line in the opposite direction to the latter; but since Jinn and Phyllis's stellar system contained three suns which were relatively close to one another, their vessel received rays of light along three different axes. Jinn had therefore conceived an extremely  ingenious method of steering. His sail was lined inside with a series of black blinds which he could roll up or unroll at will, thus changing the effect of the light-pressure by modifying the reflecting power of certain sections. Furthermore, the elastic envelope could be stretched or contracted as the navigator pleased. Thus, when Jinn wanted to increase his speed, he gave it the biggest diameter possible. It would then take the blasts of radiation on an enormous surface and the vessel would hurtle through space at a furious velocity, which made Phyllis quite dizzy. He would likewise be overcome by vertigo and they would then cling passionately to each other, their gaze fixed on the mysterious and distant depths to which their flight propelled them. When on the other hand, they wanted to slow down, Jinn pressed a button. The sail would shrink until it became a sphere just big enough to contain them both, packed tightly together. The effect of the light became negligible and this minute bubble, reduced to nothing more than its own inertia, seemed motionless, as though suspended in the void by an invisible thread. The young couple would spend rapturous idle hours in this reduced universe, built on their own scale and for them alone, which Jinn compared to a becalmed sailing-ship and Phyllis to the air bubble of the sea-spider. 

 Jinn knew a number of other tricks, considered as the height of art by sailing cosmonauts: for example, making use of the shadows of the planets and certain satellites in order to change course. He imparted this skill to Phyllis, who was now almost as accomplished as himself and often more daring. 

 One day Jinn and Phyllis were lying side by side in the middle of their spacecraft without a care in the world, making the most of their holiday by basking in the rays of their three suns. Eyes closed, Jinn was thinking only of his love for Phyllis. Phyllis lay stretched out on her side, gazing at the immensity of the universe and letting herself be hypnotized, as she often did, by the cosmic sensation of the void. 

 All of a sudden she came out of her trance, wrinkled her brow and sat up. An unusual flash of light had streaked across the void. She waited for a few seconds and saw a second flash, like a ray being reflected off a shiny object. The cosmic sense which she had acquired in the course of these cruises would not deceive her. Moreover Jinn, when it was pointed out to him, agreed with her and it was inconceivable that Jinn should make a mistake in this matter: a body sparkling in the light was floating through space, at a distance which they could not yet assess. Jinn picked up a pair of binoculars and focused them on the mysterious object, while Phyllis leant on his shoulder. 

"it's not a very big object," he said. "it seems to be made of glass.... No, do let me look. It's drawing closer. It's going faster than we are. It looks like..."

 A puzzled expression came into his eyes. He lowered the binoculars, which she at once snatched up.

"it's a bottle darling"

"a bottle?"

She looked at it in her turn.

"yes, it's a bottle. I can see it quite clearly. It's made of light colored glass. It's corked, I can see the seal. There's something white inside which looks like a piece of paper- a message obviously. Jinn, we've got to get hold of it!"

 Jinn was of the same opinion and had already embarked on some skillful maneuvers to place the sphere on trajectory of the unusual body. He soon succeeded and then reduced his own speed to enable it to catch up with him. Meanwhile Phyllis donned her diving-suit and made her way  out of the sail by the double trap-door. There, holding on to a rope with one limb and brandishing a long handled scoop in the other, she stood in readiness to retrieve the bottle. She trembled from her head to legs with impatience, gesticulating like a spider on the end of it's thread as she shouted down the telephone to her companion:

"slower Jinn... No, a bit faster than that, it's going to pass us....

Starboard... Now hard to port... Hold it... I've got it!"

She gave a triumphant cry and came back inside with her trophy.

"Jinn, break it open, hurry up!" Phyllis begged.

Less impatient, Jinn methodically chipped off the sealing-wax. But when the bottle was thus opened, he saw that the paper was stuck fast and could not be shaken out. He therefore yielded to his mate's entreaties and smashed the glass with a hammer. The paper unrolled itself. It consisted of a large number of very thin sheets, covered in tiny handwriting. The message was written in a language of the Earth, which Jinn knew perfectly, having been partly educated on that planet. 

 An uncomfortable feeling, however, restrained him from reading a document which had fallen into their possession in such an incongruous manner; but Phyllis's state of excitement decided him. She was not so well acquainted with the languages of Earth and needed his help.

"Jinn, I beg you!"

He reduced the volume of the sphere so that it floated idly in space, made sure that there was no obstacle in front of them, the lay down beside his companion and began to read the manuscript.

 

 

 

Chapter 2 (work in progress)

 

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Chapter 2

I am confiding this manuscript to space, not with the intention of saving myself, but to help, perhaps, in averting the appalling scourge which is menacing the human race.

Lord have pity on us!...

 

 

Edited January 26, 2012 by toothlessbrony

[Skullbuster 1,906]

ya know, sometime ago i actually thought about making a ponyized version of planet of the apes