Dealing with being out of your comfort zone

[Lost 1,409]

Greetings! First off please forgive any spelling or grammatical errors in this post, i'm not quite sober yet.

 

Right, so, I'm somewhat of a shut in, i don't tend to socialize often i hate modern pop music and i get very claustrophobic around crowds of people, i just got back about an hour ago from clubbing out in my city, obviously not the best place for someone like me.

 

"But Lost, how did you cope with it?!?" you may ask, simple, Alcohol, lots of it.

 

When i am forced out of my comfort zone i need 3 things to help me though it without freaking out, my phone (the escape ability), something to fidget with (either my bracelet or zippo) and beer.

 

We all have comfort zones and are likely to be pushed out of them at some point, so i ask ya'll, what are your coping methods? 

[MelancholicMemory 2,022]

Quite frankly, I don't. I go into situations like the ones you mentioned, and I just let myself get overcome by the anxiety and nervousness of it all. I sit and take it. That's probably why I have so many problems with anxiety, depression, etc. I have similar problems to your own, but I do nothing to comfort myself about it.

[Scootalove 10,684]

When I'm out of my comfort zone, I start to get very nervous and depressed. Luckily, I learned to stay stabilized in and out of my comfort zone using magic!

[Betez 1,734]

Well, I've been grateful for being forced out of my comfort zone before, because I've discovered things I never would've known about and met some great people. I usually just try to grid and bear it.

Edited February 24, 2013 by Betez

[Celtore 2,769]

Acting in real life is how I deal with being out of my comfort zone. The key here is that I don't act like a jerk, I put myself into a premade role I've made to cope with certain situations. It's like being a professional vs being social, it's the same sort of idea.

 

The only problem with this is that while it appears perfectly natural to others, I need to think in role as well. It has happened many times where I wasn't prepared for something and was blown back into full on Fluttershy mode because I thought out of character. Nothing can help me recover once the meltdown happens besides getting away from the crowd mentally or physically.

 

[by mentally, I mean a logic puzzle or some kind of mental distraction, not the consumption of any substance. Kind of important to note.]

Edited February 24, 2013 by Celtore

[Lost 1,409]

Quite frankly, I don't. I go into situations like the ones you mentioned, and I just let myself get overcome by the anxiety and nervousness of it all. I sit and take it. That's probably why I have so many problems with anxiety, depression, etc. I have similar problems to your own, but I do nothing to comfort myself about it.

My phone is filled with pictures of ponies, I kept flicking through them every now and then when it started getting to be too much.

[Dev 251]

I get really withdrawn and my need to socialize comes to 0%. Instead I think about the situation I'm in and ways to help me.

 

Comfort zone:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09m0B8RRiEE

[Zygen 6,065]

I hardly ever go out of my comfort zone, if ever honestly. I'm very shy, and I'm also very routine with things, I eat the same thing for breakfast like every morning before school for crying out loud. I'm terribly adhesive to my ways and normals, and am scared stiff trying things out of my comfort zone.

 

Thats not to say I've never been out of my comfort zone, and ironically enough when I do go out of my comfort zone things normally go ok, but I still can't do it. and the longer I stay in it the harder it is.

 

On the rare ocation I go out of my comfort zone I'm usually forced to by something, or I just take a deep breath and just totally forget all my worries and just blindly charge in ignoring all consequences and such. However that rarely happens as it takes a whole heck of a lot of building up guts before hand and is quite difficult when I'm so routine with things.

 

Heck I have a hard time telling my own mother anything, or asking her for things. I literally when I was younger and had to ask about everything would wait for months even just to ask my mother for something as small as buying a video game, or playing a Free video game, or anything really. I've got better with it I guess kinda, and I don't care as much about asking my parents about things anymore, but theres still the fact I can spend months before I do such things.

 

Same thing with how long it takes me to become comfortable with people and not shy, it can take months of building up for me to simply say hi to people, or to hold some conversation, stepping out of my comfort zone normally just involves me building up confidence for months and eventually somehow breaking through, even if its a small little thing.

 

Needless to say I'm terrible at stepping out of my comfort zone, and my low self confidence doesn't help that.

 

Oh and I also realized I tend to try and be humorous when out of my comfort zone and confronted by people, idk why I have a bad time trying to be serious out of my comfort zone, joking around keeps me somewhat in control without exploding or something.

 

Oh and I can be pretty sarcastic to.

Edited February 25, 2013 by Zygen

[MelancholicMemory 2,022]

My phone is filled with pictures of ponies, I kept flicking through them every now and then when it started getting to be too much.

That would just make me feel self-conscious and afraid that someone would be looking over my shoulder and laugh at me for looking at MLP stuff.

[Lost 1,409]

That would just make me feel self-conscious and afraid that someone would be looking over my shoulder and laugh at me for looking at MLP stuff.

Funny you should say that, one of my friends looked at my phone (I have my background as my baby applejack drawing) he baww'd at it then was like 'hang on, YOUR'RE a brony?!' Turns out he's really into adventure time and has had brushes with bronies, I may even be able to get him to join the herd

[Agent505 660]

I cry. A lot. 

 

No, I don't. But I sure as hell feel like it. I'm out of my comfort zone whenever I leave the house. It's all familiar to me, and I know it all. When i'm outside with other people, I hate it. Normally I just listen to my MP4 and try and drown out the outside world with music. I have a pretty loose grip on my mind when i'm listening to music too, so I can easily daydream and just generally 'leave my body' so to speak. 

 

If I don't have my music? Well...then things get messy. I tend to get overly protective of myself and become fairly aggressive towards...everything, really. Just because I don't like it. I mean...i'm that paranoid that something bad is going to happen when i'm out - I carry knuckle dusters in my trouser pocket behind my wallet. I mean...seriously, is that really any mindset to have? It's unhealthy. 

[MelancholicMemory 2,022]

Funny you should say that, one of my friends looked at my phone (I have my background as my baby applejack drawing) he baww'd at it then was like 'hang on, YOUR'RE a brony?!' Turns out he's really into adventure time and has had brushes with bronies, I may even be able to get him to join the herd

That's awesome! Good for you! I just have a general paranoia about people looking over my shoulder anyway. My phone has a memory issue and can't hold any pictures on it anyway.

[Stellafera 3,835]

Fear of going outside of my comfort zone is easily one of my biggest flaws. It prevents me from growing and learning, and it creates a self perpetuating cycle where I become less and less willing to do something.

[Harmonic Revelations 8,833]

Nothing is outside my comfort zone. I'm completely desensitized, I've been in life threatening situations before, hell, I've been shot before. And there aren't many things I haven't seen. No matter what, I'll pull through it.

[Loriem 639]

I bring up my lord and savior, POLITICS!

 

Usually you will end up with a melt down of the former conversation and friendships.

[LittleSis 62]

I giggle. It's a nervous habit I've developed in the past year or so. I can't really say why I giggle--I mean, what's so funny about feeling uncomfortable? It just sorta happens...almost like I'm laughing at myself for being out of my comfort zone. It can be good and bad. If someone makes fun of me or someone tries to be flirty (even fake flirty) giggling can be good and it causes a nice transition out of the awkward and into a light conversation. However once the subject gets serious, it is almost never appropriate to laugh. I get weird looks and people think I'm insensitive about things but I really can't help it.

 

My other alternative is crying when things get REALLY out of hand. So laughing or crying? I'd much rather be laughing so I'll stick with that until I find something else.

[Yourmomsponies 444]

I simply don't care so even if I'm out of my comfort zone I try to have fun even if it means making myself look like an ass.

Its both a gift and a burden.

But its gotten me this far so I cant complain.

[Anonymous~ 588]

My coping method when I'm out of my comfort zone? Well, I'm too young to drink alcohol, so I guess this one is a no-go... yet. But I usually go into some kind of "trance". For instance, when I go in the hallways of my school, I turn on my "auto-pilot" and start thinking about various things until I reach my destination, thus avoiding any unnecessary and uncomfortable things that may trigger my anxiety (heh, this one time I was going down the stairs in the school and totally didn't see like 5 friends/classmates going past me). I also sometimes listen to music, which helps me a lot too. But when everything else fails, I usually use the "fight-or-flight" method, which is kind of silly.

[Allosauridae 54]

Greetings! First off please forgive any spelling or grammatical errors in this post, i'm not quite sober yet.

 

Right, so, I'm somewhat of a shut in, i don't tend to socialize often i hate modern pop music and i get very claustrophobic around crowds of people, i just got back about an hour ago from clubbing out in my city, obviously not the best place for someone like me.

 

"But Lost, how did you cope with it?!?" you may ask, simple, Alcohol, lots of it.

 

When i am forced out of my comfort zone i need 3 things to help me though it without freaking out, my phone (the escape ability), something to fidget with (either my bracelet or zippo) and beer.

 

We all have comfort zones and are likely to be pushed out of them at some point, so i ask ya'll, what are your coping methods? 

 

Phone... it has to be charged and handy...  

In bar situations I usually have my keys easy to access and can slip the clip over my fingers to make a punch more painful, if it comes down to that... (I've been in situations where my rapist followed me around in a few bars and until I can reach the safety of Dad's friend's bar, I feel super vulnerable.. this guy knows what medical issues I have and has used them against me.)

I am also jittery in crowds...  I've been to Milwaukee WI Warped Tour and man I get jumpy there at times... because I'm smaller I get pushed around a lot.   At bars I make sure keys are with me, phone and stick close to friends in bars I'm not too comfortable with...   Char bar though, I'm fine with crowds b/c I know people there who own the bar and will do their best to make sure I'm safe... same with the bikers there.

 

Otherwise I am constantly 'scanning' for possible danger, aware of things going on around me, where exits are or what way I can move to avoid something... I'll run a song through my head, play with my phone...  It depends where I am, why I am there, who I'm with and whats going on.  I always have some sort of backup plan in my head.

 

Comfort zones vary for everyone... the people/crowd thing was brought on by something... I used to not care one bit.  I have a major issue with speaking to a group of people, I could never read out-loud in class well... it was well out of my comfort zone...  I would fiddle with things, try and run a song through my head, pretend people weren't there...  I still haven't fixed THAT issue!   

[~Master~ Button Mash 2,307]

Lets see, two things...

 

Aviators. They might be a cheap pair from the gas station, but they help me boost my self confidence (I think they make me look 20% cooler), and it's a way to avoid direct eye contact with people.

 

My phone. Yeah, I use it as an escape and something to fidget with, too.

 

I pretty much use these in public. I'm usually pretty comfortable around my dorm, so I don't really need to put many barriers up between myself and people. We're like a big family at this point. However if I ever want to be left alone for whatever reason, I usually carry something around like my tablet or a book.