You are a Blank Flank - A Text Adventure

[Spider's Claw 213]

Ship anypony with Shuffle.

Leave town.

 

Tuxedo Tango glances at Shuffle. That beautiful body. Those wings. That... that plot. I mean, technically they aren't entirely related, so-- no, absolutely not, stop it. Stop!

 

You and Morning Glory start leaving town. Might as well go back to Ponyville, even if you have to go through Everfree Forest. Midnight asks about Morning's family. She says they live in St. Arion anyway. Tuxedo tells you to wait. The two of you ignore him. Winter says the sciencepony's body is missing from the gallows.

 

Natural Harmonia

Condition: Fine

Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist

Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

 

Morning Glory

Condition: Fine

Talent: Magic

Inventory (2/3): Plastic fangs | Bandages x3

 

Moonlight Minuet


Condition: Fine


Talent: Spy


Inventory (5/6): Revolver | Electrosapper | Knife | Disguise Kit | Invisibility Watch

 

Winter Waltz


Condition: Fine


Talent: Princess


Inventory (1/4): Communicator

 

Sunny Shuffle

Condition: Fine


Talent: Lvl 2 Aviatrix


Inventory (2/5): Communicator | MANE CO. Key

 

Tuxedo Tango

Condition: Fine

Talent: Prince

Inventory (1/3): Scalpel

[Linguz 140]

State that you know the criminal: Igor.

[Kinvara 117]

>Track Igor down since he's probably going to try and resurrect the doctor

[Spider's Claw 213]

State that you know the criminal: Igor.

 

You know exactly who did this. The only pony who would be interested in helping the doctor. Igor.

 

Moonlight thinks Igor is too innocent to do that. You disagree.

 

>Track Igor down since he's probably going to try and resurrect the doctor

 

You charge up the hill and back into the castle, Morning and Shuffle following. Shuffle points you toward the hole in the entrance hall floor, what used to be the secret lab exit. The three of you go down the stairs. The lab proper is blocked by a statue of the doctor.

 

You can hear the sound of a chainsaw coming from the lab.

 

Natural Harmonia

Condition: Fine

Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist

Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

 

Morning Glory

Condition: Fine

Talent: Magic

Inventory (2/3): Plastic fangs | Bandages x3

 

Sunny Shuffle

Condition: Fine


Talent: Lvl 2 Aviatrix


Inventory (2/5): Communicator | MANE CO. Key

Edited November 9, 2011 by Spider's Claw

[Linguz 140]

Have Glory move and/or destroy the statue.

[Kinvara 117]

>Proceed with caution. Chainsaws are dangerous

[Spider's Claw 213]

>Proceed with caution. Chainsaws are dangerous

 

Chainsaws are USUALLY dangerous, but when in the hooves of a pony? Seems like it'd be more likely to hurt them. But seeing as nobody's crying in pain and there's still the sound of the chainsaw cutting through things, this pony probably knows what they're doing.

 

Have Glory move and/or destroy the statue.

 

Morning knows what to do. Her horn glows as she tries to lift the statue with her magic. Unfortunately, it's held firmly in place by tape!

 

Damn!

 

END OF ACT 1.

 

 

You're now this jerk. Your name is Jack Daniels. You're taking over for the brief intermission. You've been shamed by that... that... Natural Harmonia. And you'll have your revenge, eventually! But not quite yet.

 

You stormed off not an hour ago, but you realized you kind of need a place to live, so you're back in your home in St. Arion. What will you do?

 

Jack Daniels

Condition: Fine

Talent: Jerk

Inventory (2/8): Rifle | Stolen Schematics

Edited November 11, 2011 by Spider's Claw

[Linguz 140]

Go hunting mice.

[Kinvara 117]

>Think about what you can do with your stolen schematics

[Spider's Claw 213]

>Think about what you can do with your stolen schematics

 

It just occurred to you that you've never looked at those schematics you swiped from Doctor von Ponington's pocket. You walk over to your table and open them up. Scrawled on the top is "WIZARDRY RINGS: I vill make ze magicks real."

 

You don't understand a single thing about the design, but appearance-wise it looks similar to those rings the late doctor wore around his legs.

 

Go hunting mice.

 

But you don't hunt mice. The mice are so eager to be hunted by you that they come to you. It's a great honor in the Mouse Kingdom to be slain by the one and only Jack Daniels and his mighty rifle.

 

See, you don't know how to use a rifle. You don't know how a pony could possibly use a firearm. Really you've just been using your rifle as a fancy-looking spear. You sharpened the end and everything.

 

A mouse scurries onto the table. You quickly react and stab at it with your rifle. You miss by about a foot. The mouse seems to giggle at you before running away. Your precious ego has been hurt.

 

Jack Daniels

Condition: Fine

Talent: Jerk

Inventory (2/8): Rifle | Stolen Schematics

[Kinvara 117]

>Resolve to get some Wizardry Rings so you can use them to take revenge on Natural Harmonia and the Royals

[Linguz 140]

Call in Buck Norris

[Spider's Claw 213]

>Resolve to get some Wizardry Rings so you can use them to take revenge on Natural Harmonia and the Royals

 

You're afraid you've been thinking. It's a dangerous pastime, you know. But that... Natural Harmonia and that damn royal family. They're in cahoots. They've tricked the town into supporting this tyranny. You must have your revenge. You will have your revenge.

 

And those Wizardry Rings are exactly how you will get your revenge. But how to get them... you're no inventor or scientist or engineer. You're a hunter. You can't build this.

 

Call in Buck Norris

 

You know! You'll call in your great friend, Buck Norris. He's a great guy. Smart guy, too. The best hunting partner and sciencing partner you could ever ask for. If there's anybody living that can build these rings, it's him.

 

Unfortunately, Buck Norris is your imaginary friend and you've been seeing a therapist to try to get rid of him, seeing as though everybody thinks you're crazy. The therapy seems to have worked. You sort of miss the guy.

 

There is a knock at your door.

 

 

Jack Daniels

Condition: Fine

Talent: Jerk

Inventory (2/8): Rifle | Stolen Schematics

[Kinvara 117]

>Answer the door in a manly way

[Linguz 140]

Shoot the door of its hinges.

[Spider's Claw 213]

>Answer the door in a manly way

 

You saunter over to your door and prepare to open it in the manliest way you can possibly think of...

 

Shoot the door of its hinges.

 

By using your rifle. You stab the hinges with the sharpened barrel of your rifle until they break. You then push the door and it falls over. The pony outside was smart enough to dodge your falling door. Said visitor then steps onto your door and greets you.

 

 

Why, it's a hot babe! As strange as it sounds, you usually don't receive visits from totally hot mares. But you know this totally hot mare. You've seen her in St. Arion from time to time, and you were instantly attracted to her. You're not too sure what drew you to her. But the point is she's a totally hot mare.

 

And, more importantly, definitely not a princess. This mare is totally not the eldest of the royal family. Absolutely not.

 

She asks to come in.

 

 

Jack Daniels

Condition: Fine

Talent: Jerk

Inventory (2/8): Rifle | Stolen Schematics

[Linguz 140]

Ask if she is a police officer.

If yes: close the door in her face.

If no: let her in then close the door.

[Spider's Claw 213]

Ask if she is a police officer.

If yes: close the door in her face.

If no: let her in then close the door.

 

Silly Jack, there are no cops in St. Arion!

 

But you ask her just to be safe. She says no. You let her in. You would close the door, but you don't really feel like picking it up and balancing it. So screw it. She's not paying attention to you. Instead, she's looking at your table.

 

"Hey, uh, Jack, what's up with this?"

 

You walk over and look at what she's pointing to.

 

Note to Self:

1) Obtain army of ponies

2) Storm castle

3) Murder royal family

4) ???

5) Profit!

6) KILL NATURAL HARMONIA

 

Uhhhhh...

 

Jack Daniels

Condition: Fine

Talent: Jerk

Inventory (2/8): Rifle | Stolen Schematics

Edited November 12, 2011 by Spider's Claw

[Linguz 140]

"It's my list of things somepony who wanted to kill the royal family and Natural Harmonia would do."

[Spider's Claw 213]

"It's my list of things somepony who wanted to kill the royal family and Natural Harmonia would do."

 

You tell her exactly that. It's probably a very convincing thing. After all, you're a trustworthy guy. This town counts on you. They think you're a little weird for the whole imaginary friend thing, but it doesn't change the fact that they see you as a strong, reliable pony. You're practically this town's hero. Surely that's why this TOTALLY HOT MARE has paid you a visit.

 

But in case your excuse wasn't convincing enough, you start pouring the family friendly, non-alcoholic beverages so you can both drink until it sounds convincing.

 

Jack Daniels

Condition: Fine

Talent: Jerk

Inventory (2/8): Rifle | Stolen Schematics

[Linguz 140]

Notice that Spider is saying a lot of lies in an obvious way so we know they are lies.

Get a response from the TOTALLY HOT MARE.

[Spider's Claw 213]

Notice that Spider is saying a lot of lies in an obvious way so we know they are lies.

Get a response from the TOTALLY HOT MARE.

 

HA HA WHAT LIES WHY WOULD I BE TELLING THOSE

 

The mare turns around and looks at you. To you, it feels like she's staring into your soul.

 

"So, those schematics. I can help you with those."

 

You ask how she knew you had schematics. She says she can see into your inventory. She once again offers to build the Wizardry Rings.

 

Jack Daniels

Condition: Fine

Talent: Jerk

Inventory (2/8): Rifle | Stolen Schematics

[Linguz 140]

Ask if she's a cop again.

If she is: Close the door in her face.

If she isn't: Show her the schematics after you close the door.

[Spider's Claw 213]

Ask if she's a cop again.

If she is: Close the door in her face.

If she isn't: Show her the schematics after you close the door.

 

You once again ask if she's a cop, even though St. Arion has no police force. She once again says no.

 

You walk to your door and pick it up, and then put it back in your doorway. It's not really a functioning door anymore, but hey. You walk back to the mare and put the schematics down on the table. You ask if they make sense to her.

 

She says yeah, they make perfect sense. She could very easily make these Wizardry Rings. But she says she'll make them under one condition: you let her in on the rewards of this quest to destroy the royal family.

 

"Do we have a deal?"

 

Jack Daniels

Condition: Fine

Talent: Jerk

Inventory (2/8): Rifle | Stolen Schematics

[Linguz 140]

Fall further in love with her and sat yes.