Not Sure if This is the Right Place...

[Panne 1,342]

I was wanting to write a fanfic, but then I realized that I have no writing skill at all. I was wondering if someone could write it for me, because I would really like this story out there.  I already have a basic idea of how it should begin but I have no idea what to do after that. If interested please help me. Oh and  the main characters are King Sombra, Queen Chrysalis, Discord, and Nightmare Moon.

[Blue Moon 6,341]

Depends. Could you message me your ideas or post them here? Also, what's the tone and genre of your story. Will it be sad, comedy, adventure, etc.

Edited March 29, 2013 by Blue_Moon

[Panne 1,342]

I also just remembered you would have had to read the comic to understand the Queen Chrysalis part. But general out line is, Sombra got blown up in the season 3 intro right. well his horn goes flying lands near by Chrysalis' castle/current prison. Sombra gets her out and they create a plan to get revenge on Twilight Sparkle. The go to Canterlot (chrysalis in disguise and sombra as her shadow) because they heard that Discord was reformed. Turns out he was just using that as to get out of his stone prison and get close enough to Celestia for revenge. So they team up to do some scheming and what not. then they kidnap Luna when she gets wind of their plans and tries warning Celestia. Then Discord uses his brainwash spell to make her back into Nightmare Moon. So then the four evil commanders go and recruit other villains/antagonists from the show and that is as far as I figured out.
I want it to be kind of evil adventure with a bit of comedy between the villains and the Luna brainwashing scene should be tense and darkish.

[Shift 4,272]

I think this would be suited to the realms of Octavia's Hall, in the fanfiction subforum.

 

I'm no good at writing fanfiction, but I have a huge load of ideas that if done well could be pretty epic. I'm more suited to the pencil and eraser.

[Blue Moon 6,341]

I also just remembered you would have had to read the comic to understand the Queen Chrysalis part. But general out line is, Sombra got blown up in the season 3 intro right. well his horn goes flying lands near by Chrysalis' castle/current prison. Sombra gets her out and they create a plan to get revenge on Twilight Sparkle. The go to Canterlot (chrysalis in disguise and sombra as her shadow) because they heard that Discord was reformed. Turns out he was just using that as to get out of his stone prison and get close enough to Celestia for revenge. So they team up to do some scheming and what not. then they kidnap Luna when she gets wind of their plans and tries warning Celestia. Then Discord uses his brainwash spell to make her back into Nightmare Moon. So then the four evil commanders go and recruit other villains/antagonists from the show and that is as far as I figured out.

I want it to be kind of evil adventure with a bit of comedy between the villains and the Luna brainwashing scene should be tense and darkish.

Seems like it is a good idea. The whole "horn" thing is pretty original as far as I know. The only problem is that this is a scenario, not an actual plot. We have the setting and stuff, but there is no actual story. What happens after they recruit everybody. Do they just take over? Do they attempt to turn some of the good characters into evil ones and the good ones end up trying to stop them? Try to come up with a storyline after the villains get together. Also, wouldn't Discord tricking everyone into thinking he had reformed upset Fluttershy? This could create some good character development for Discord.

 

I like this scenario though, but I don't think I am the right person for the job. I'm not really an "adventure" type writer. I focus more on the characters when I write.

[Panne 1,342]

Seems like it is a good idea. The whole "horn" thing is pretty original as far as I know. The only problem is that this is a scenario, not an actual plot. We have the setting and stuff, but there is no actual story. What happens after they recruit everybody. Do they just take over? Do they attempt to turn some of the good characters into evil ones and the good ones end up trying to stop them? Try to come up with a storyline after the villains get together. Also, wouldn't Discord tricking everyone into thinking he had reformed upset Fluttershy? This could create some good character development for Discord.

 

I like this scenario though, but I don't think I am the right person for the job. I'm not really an "adventure" type writer. I focus more on the characters when I write.

Yeah as I said I have good general ideas just fleshing them out is my only weak point, but as far as the story line goes I have nothing ,I have the set up, but the writer would get full power with the rest of it. also quickly throwing this out there NO SHIPPING please.

[Blue Moon 6,341]

Yeah as I said I have good general ideas just fleshing them out is my only weak point, but as far as the story line goes I have nothing ,I have the set up, but the writer would get full power with the rest of it. also quickly throwing this out there NO SHIPPING please.

Ok. I don't think I should write this though. Like I said, adventure isn't really my thing when it comes to writing. I could try, but it might not turn out well. 

[Panne 1,342]

Ok. I don't think I should write this though. Like I said, adventure isn't really my thing when it comes to writing. I could try, but it might not turn out well. 

I don't know if you don't feel confident you don't half to do it. I'm just tossing this up for anyone though, just as long as you tell me you are doing it

[Blue Moon 6,341]

I don't know if you don't feel confident you don't half to do it. I'm just tossing this up for anyone though, just as long as you tell me you are doing it

I will attempt to try to write the first chapter. I will send it to you when I'm done and tell me what you think about it. By the way, what is the POV. Third Person? First Person? I had an idea that the story would alternate between the point of views of the villains for each chapter.

[Panne 1,342]

I will attempt to try to write the first chapter. I will send it to you when I'm done and tell me what you think about it. By the way, what is the POV. Third Person? First Person? I had an idea that the story would alternate between the point of views of the villains for each chapter.

It should be in 3rd person. Thanks for trying I'm hoping the results are good. Also if you have a fimfiction.com account you can post it there as long as you give me credit for the idea.

[firesoxs 93]

Hmm this sounds interesting If Blue_Moon doesn't want to do it you could PM me some of the details on exactly what you want to see. I've been thinking about doing fan-fics for a while now, it might take awhile though because this would be the first time I've done something like this. But I have written on my own before and my friends say that it's pretty good.

[Blue Moon 6,341]

Ok, I wrote a prologue for the story. Tell me what you think and if you want me to continue it. I kind of like this idea and it may work after all.

 

MLPFanfiction..docx

[Panne 1,342]

Ok, I wrote a prologue for the story. Tell me what you think and if you want me to continue it. I kind of like this idea and it may work after all.

 

MLPFanfiction..docx

Just wondering have you read the official comic series? because I was referencing Chrysalis' kingdom from that...and the one you describe isn't like the one in the comics....http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/The_Return_of_Queen_Chrysalis_(comics) Oh and I do like the whole baby sombra idea

 

Hmm this sounds interesting If Blue_Moon doesn't want to do it you could PM me some of the details on exactly what you want to see. I've been thinking about doing fan-fics for a while now, it might take awhile though because this would be the first time I've done something like this. But I have written on my own before and my friends say that it's pretty good.

actually just what I said before is all that I have figured out (the general idea post), but if you want to just write the prologue/intro and send it to me.

Edited March 30, 2013 by Trent

[Blue Moon 6,341]

Just wondering have you read the official comic series? because I was referencing Chrysalis' kingdom from that...and the one you describe isn't like the one in the comics....http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/The_Return_of_Queen_Chrysalis_(comics) Oh and I do like the whole baby sombra idea

Oh Whoops. I don't read the comics at all. Do you wan't me to change it or keep it the way it is? And thanks for thanking the Baby Sombra idea. I have an idea for that and I will PM it to you for approval if you let me keep it the way it is.

[Panne 1,342]

Oh Whoops. I don't read the comics at all. Do you wan't me to change it or keep it the way it is? And thanks for thanking the Baby Sombra idea. I have an idea for that and I will PM it to you for approval if you let me keep it the way it is.

Yeah in the comics chrysalis is catapulted into a neighboring kingdom inhabited by fluffly little kittens, and they are full of love so the changeling go wild and start the equivilent of the Holocaust on them...Chrysalis in one scene takes one and smashing it against a wall. but yeah they take over a little kingdom and make it a changeling hive.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8SoFo8l6CM this guy uploaded all of the comics just watch the videos and you will see what I mean. And yes Sombra can stay a baby because who doesn't love and evil little monster.

[Blue Moon 6,341]

Yeah in the comics chrysalis is catapulted into a neighboring kingdom inhabited by fluffly little kittens, and they are full of love so the changeling go wild and start the equivilent of the Holocaust on them...Chrysalis in one scene takes one and smashing it against a wall. but yeah they take over a little kingdom and make it a changeling hive.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8SoFo8l6CM this guy uploaded all of the comics just watch the videos and you will see what I mean. And yes Sombra can stay a baby because who doesn't love and evil little monster.

Oh. Um..My ideas were completely different. Maybe I should go write this as a different story and firesoxs and write this story. I will still say that I got the idea from you though.

[Panne 1,342]

Oh. Um..My ideas were completely different. Maybe I should go write this as a different story and firesoxs and write this story. I will still say that I got the idea from you though.

I'm okay with this do what you want ideas are free. So now this is going out to anyone who wants to write this thing just send me a preview of the intro and I'll tell you if you can go ahead with the full fanfic.

[Blue Moon 6,341]

I'm okay with this do what you want ideas are free. So now this is going out to anyone who wants to write this thing just send me a preview of the intro and I'll tell you if you can go ahead with the full fanfic.

Ok, so I can keep my ideas as long as I credit you for inspiration? Because I have a really good idea for this story. If I get your permisson, I'll go upload my prologue to FIMFiction.

[Panne 1,342]

Ok, so I can keep my ideas as long as I credit you for inspiration? Because I have a really good idea for this story. If I get your permisson, I'll go upload my prologue to FIMFiction.

Yeah sure you can do that because as I said before the idea is free so if anyone see this and wants to write one just run the intro past me and I'll say yes....most likely. oh and quick though what will it be called so I can look it up?

Edited March 30, 2013 by Trent

[Blue Moon 6,341]

Yeah sure you can do that because as I said before the idea is free so if anyone see this and wants to write one just run the intro past me and I'll say yes....most likely. oh and quick though what will it be called so I can look it up?

I was thinking about calling it So Close. I am probably going to focus it more on characters than adventure. Would you have any ideas for the name of the story. Oh by the way, could I get a review of my prologue.

[Panne 1,342]

I was thinking about calling it So Close. I am probably going to focus it more on characters than adventure. Would you have any ideas for the name of the story. Oh by the way, could I get a review of my prologue.

As far as titles go I don't really care but as far as a review goes...please don't get mad or anything but it felt OVER-explained like the Sombra thing was kind of a mouth full of words and it pretty much said the same thing in 3 different ways. That was the only thing I had a problem with, but I liked the little comment about how changelings can read and baby Sombra was a stroke of pure genius that I wouldn't have thought of.

[Blue Moon 6,341]

As far as titles go I don't really care but as far as a review goes...please don't get mad or anything but it felt OVER-explained like the Sombra thing was kind of a mouth full of words and it pretty much said the same thing in 3 different ways. That was the only thing I had a problem with, but I liked the little comment about how changelings can read and baby Sombra was a stroke of pure genius that I wouldn't have thought of.

I never get mad when my work is criticized. I think that Criticism is just as important as Praise. Praise lets the the person know what to do and Criticism tell you what not to do in the future. I don't like it when people don't back up their criticism though. 

 

 

Yeah, I do tend to "overdescribe" certain things when I write. But thanks for liking my little touch and Baby Sombra. (I as thinking of Jurassic Park at that moment and the dinosaurs are babies when they are first made.

[Panne 1,342]

I never get mad when my work is criticized. I think that Criticism is just as important as Praise. Praise lets the the person know what to do and Criticism tell you what not to do in the future. I don't like it when people don't back up their criticism though. 

 

 

Yeah, I do tend to "overdescribe" certain things when I write. But thanks for liking my little touch and Baby Sombra. (I as thinking of Jurassic Park at that moment and the dinosaurs are babies when they are first made.

I was just thinking...if Sombra is being raised by the changelings a little funny thing would be they try getting him to feed on love but he is constantly eating plants around the castle and blasting stuff with his dark magic. Also he should have the whole stair & crystals craze thing going, so he is always going on about stairs and crystals and how stairs should be made of crystals.

[Blue Moon 6,341]

I was just thinking...if Sombra is being raised by the changelings a little funny thing would be they try getting him to feed on love but he is constantly eating plants around the castle and blasting stuff with his dark magic. Also he should have the whole stair & crystals craze thing going, so he is always going on about stairs and crystals and how stairs should be made of crystals.

I could add that, but I had something else in mind. I have published the prologue to the story on FIMFiction. Here is a link to it.

 

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/93915/queen-chrysaliss-plan

 

Do you mind if I go post this as a topic in the Fan Fiction section of this forum. I would like it to be better known and get a couple more reviews for it.

Edited March 30, 2013 by Blue_Moon

[Panne 1,342]

I could add that, but I had something else in mind. I have published the prologue to the story on FIMFiction. Here is a link to it.

 

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/93915/queen-chrysaliss-plan

 

Do you mind if I go post this as a topic in the Fan Fiction section of this forum. I would like it to be better known and get a couple more reviews for it.

Yeah that is fine you can do whatever you want just toss it by me that you are doing it. Also good luck I hope  the people really like it.

 

Actually with the help of Blue_Moon I decided on how to write this one on my own. He will be writing his own story and I will be writing a different one but with a similar beginning. I hope both turn out really well.