OC Reviews by Ampharos (Re-try)

[Ampharos 1,009]

Why hello there all you fine lads and ladies. My last OC review thread, while I was under the name of Fancy Ram, may or may not have died because I got too lazy to do the ones that I got...

 

BUT!
 

I plan on not having this happen again. It might take a while, but I assure you that every single request shall be done!

 

My critique format:

 

Appearance/Design- How they look/ How they're colors contrast with each other

Personality- Self-explanatory

Back story- Whether or not it's a good, well thought story.

Other- Any other things that do not fall under the other categories, or tips that could make it better.

 

Let the reviews BEGIN!

 

I will be harsh. If you want a review that will only tell you the positive things, this isn't the place for you. If you are afraid of your OC being ridiculed, this is also not the place for you. Please do not respond telling me why your OC is super awesome and I'm wrong. If you don't like my review, don't respond.

Edited July 25, 2013 by Ampharos

[repsol rave 2,963]

allright. this one should take you a while.

can you review my OC Isaac Clarke? there is a link to his page in my signature.

thanks in advance! :3

[~Sole~ 852]

Hey ampharos! Mind reviewing sole? His link is in my sig, please give your honest opinion on him.

[Ampharos 1,009]

@@repsol rave,

 

Okay to be honest, I don't really want to review this OC. Well you can't really call this an OC since it isn't exactly an "original character". I didn't even read the back story because I will assume that it is literally the plot of the dead space games. If you can give a good reason to review Issac, go right ahead. But he isn't original in any sense really. He's just a ponified Issac Clark 

 

 

@,

 

Sole:

 

Appearance/Design: Not much to say. Generic griffon appearance (Not a bad thing btw) 

 

Personality: From what Gilda told us, this seems like a fitting griffon personality. I was glad to see he wasn't perfect and had some down falls to his personality.

 

Back story: Well... this is where my praises stop slightly. I don't get why you had to make him Discord's son. That doesn't even make sense. And if Discord created him instead of concieving him, then that wouldn't make them father and son. The whole Krad thing was super random. And he seems really OP... Just... I think one day you should work on that back story. Make it more detailed, flesh out the ideas, explain things better, etc.

 

Other: All in all an OC with a fairly good design, good personality with down falls, and a back story that needs more fleshing out

 

Grade: C+

Edited July 25, 2013 by Ampharos

[Misty Rose 3,216]

@@Ampharos,

 

Hey dude, mind reviewing Pink Mist? Link is below my sig! Can't wait to see your response. Oh and you can say bad stuff if you want, that's what a review's for anyway, we need to know what's good and what's bad  

[~Sole~ 852]

@@repsol rave,

 

Okay to be honest, I don't really want to review this OC. Well you can't really call this an OC since it isn't exactly an "original character". I didn't even read the back story because I will assume that it is literally the plot of the dead space games. If you can give a good reason to review Issac, go right ahead. But he isn't original in any sense really. He's just a ponified Issac Clark 

 

 

@,

 

Sole:

 

Appearance/Design: Not much to say. Generic griffon appearance (Not a bad thing btw) 

 

Personality: From what Gilda told us, this seems like a fitting griffon personality. I was glad to see he wasn't perfect and had some down falls to his personality.

 

Back story: Well... this is where my praises stop slightly. I don't get why you had to make him Discord's son. That doesn't even make sense. And if Discord created him instead of concieving him, then that wouldn't make them father and son. The whole Krad thing was super random. And he seems really OP... Just... I think one day you should work on that back story. Make it more detailed, flesh out the ideas, explain things better, etc.

 

Other: All in all an OC with a fairly good design, good personality with down falls, and a back story that needs more fleshing out

 

Grade: C+

thanks for being honest. But I disagree about the father thing, I consider my step dad as my father much more then my real one. Weather its By Blood means little to nothing to me. And I was gonna go into detail with his backstory, but it'd be ridiculoulsy long. And Thanks again!

[Ampharos 1,009]

 

 

we need to know what's good and what's bad

 

Yea some people don't understand that.

 

Design: Okay first off I like how the brown looks with the pink. It's weird, but they go well together for some reason. The clothes don't look too bad I guess. I just think ponies look weird in clothes most of the time. But that's just my opinion, won't judge you based on that,

 

Personality: Yea seems pretty good. Didn't really see any bad aspects, but then again I have a horrible memory and there could have been some. Optimistic ponies are always fun

 

Back story: Not much here. You might want to expand on it, maybe make it a little more interesting. Don't take this as me wanting your OCs parents to die or whatever, just add onto it. Unless of course you just want her to be an average everyday pony. 

 

Other: For her cutie mark, I would suggest things such as a compass or a treasure chest.

 

Overall: An OC with surprisingly well-contrasting colors, a good personality with no visible faults (which there should be some of), and a short back story for an every day pony.

 

B+

[Misty Rose 3,216]

Yea some people don't understand that.

 

Design: Okay first off I like how the brown looks with the pink. It's weird, but they go well together for some reason. The clothes don't look too bad I guess. I just think ponies look weird in clothes most of the time. But that's just my opinion, won't judge you based on that,

 

Personality: Yea seems pretty good. Didn't really see any bad aspects, but then again I have a horrible memory and there could have been some. Optimistic ponies are always fun

 

Back story: Not much here. You might want to expand on it, maybe make it a little more interesting. Don't take this as me wanting your OCs parents to die or whatever, just add onto it. Unless of course you just want her to be an average everyday pony. 

 

Other: For her cutie mark, I would suggest things such as a compass or a treasure chest.

 

Overall: An OC with surprisingly well-contrasting colors, a good personality with no visible faults (which there should be some of), and a short back story for an every day pony.

 

B+

 

YAY B+!! Thanks for the feedback, and I do want to add some things to her backstory, but for the most part she's just an average everyday pony who likes to travel and go on adventures I'm glad you like her design, I wanted a cool hair color and style and I found that brown looked surprisingly good. Oh and thanks for the cutie mark recommendations, but I think Daring Do's cutie mark is sorta like a compass, but I could have the actual device.

[Ampharos 1,009]

 

 

And I was gonna go into detail with his backstory, but it'd be ridiculoulsy long.

 

Nononononono. No. Seriously, a long back story is better than a short vague one that is hard to understand. I would highly recommend expanding on it. As for the father thing, I understand what you mean. But I think you should say something more along the lines of, "He considers Discord to be his father." But again these are just suggestions and you don't have to act upon them.

[♞RedLotus♞ 360]

Go ahead! Critique my OC as much as you want. I know that not alot of people like him because of the fact that he isn't your average coffee shop worker. If you aren't a fan of action, and somewhat blood and gore, then you wont like him at all. But hey, what the heck, go for it

[Vaporeon 1,168]

Hey Amphy, care to grade my OC that I haven't touched in months?

 

http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/flare-blitz-r402

 

I'm trying to revise the backstory a bit so if you could give me some tips on how to do so that would be great.

[Ampharos 1,009]

 

 

Critique my OC

 

 

Honestly this is a very original OC

 

Design: No problems at all. The mane is dark enough so that it stands out from the coat, and the black highlights add a little variety of color (Not much though ).

 

Personality: See I have a problem with this. It feels like he should be much more primal, growing up around lions. The zebra thing helps a little bit, but not much. I have a horrible memory as stated before and I can't remember any flaws in his personality. But I'm positive there were a couple, I just can't think of them.

 

Back story: I like it. A lot. It seems a little non-canon. Okay it seems a lot non-canon. But that's okay since he's obviously not supposed to feel canon. His back story is original and his whole being is original. I just... I like it a lot.

 

Other: To recap, my only problem is that he seems like he should be a bit more primal. 

 

Overall: An OC with a good looking design, a personality that could fit his back story better, and a back story that is original and thought out

 

Grade: A

[♞RedLotus♞ 360]

 

 

Honestly this is a very original OC

 

Design: No problems at all. The mane is dark enough so that it stands out from the coat, and the black highlights add a little variety of color (Not much though ).

 

Personality: See I have a problem with this. It feels like he should be much more primal, growing up around lions. The zebra thing helps a little bit, but not much. I have a horrible memory as stated before and I can't remember any flaws in his personality. But I'm positive there were a couple, I just can't think of them.

 

Back story: I like it. A lot. It seems a little non-canon. Okay it seems a lot non-canon. But that's okay since he's obviously not supposed to feel canon. His back story is original and his whole being is original. I just... I like it a lot.

 

Other: To recap, my only problem is that he seems like he should be a bit more primal. 

 

Overall: An OC with a good looking design, a personality that could fit his back story better, and a back story that is original and thought out

 

Grade: A

 

Hmm.. I am  impressed that you like him. I thank you for your honesty, and your compliments. If I may ask, what exactly do you mean by Primal? Other than that, thank you very much

[Ampharos 1,009]

@,

 

Design: Looks very suited for the kind of pony he is Contrasts very well.

 

Personality: Just like his design, Flare's personality matches his appearance and talent. It has good qualities as well as faults, which is great. 

 

Back story: To be honest, I see what you mean about wanting to revise his back story. It seems to jump from topic to topic. I suggest staying on one subject and explain it for a while, then move on. If it was put together better, I think it would be great.

 

Other: I think Solaris leaving wasn't thought out very well. He left his mate and his eggs for someone who saved said mate and eggs? Doesn't really make sense. Btw I also have an OC named after a pokemon move. His name is Volt Switch. He's actually a lot like Flare Blitz since Volt generates electricity and Flare makes fire.

 

Overall: A OC with a fitting design, a good and fitting personality, and a back story that would be great if the ides weren't so sporadic

 

Grade: B+

 

Feel free to re-submit if and when you revise your back story.

 

 

Hmm.. I am  impressed that you like him. I thank you for your honesty, and your compliments. If I may ask, what exactly do you mean by Primal? Other than that, thank you very much

 

It's hard to explain really Then again I'm not good at explaining things. Kind of like Tarzan, but not really. I don't mean like making lion sounds and stuff but he should just act more... cave man like I guess? I don't know I can't really explain it. I understand it perfectly in my head but I can't put it into words 

.

[Blue Moon 6,341]

Could you review my OC, Blue Moon? His link is the top link in my signature. Please be completely honest, and if that means being harsh; go for it.

[Twiliscael 3,960]

Would you mind doing my OC, Icarus? He's my pegasus pone bro thing.

 

I'd love to see what other people think of him, since I naturally think pretty highly of him.

[ReverseFaller 2,483]

Oc reviews? This looks like it could be rather interesting. I think I'll give this a try. Okie dokie lokie then, here is a link to my OC.  http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/wakahisa-koemi-r3911