Song: Where Do I Belong?

[)O( Scarlet )O( 1,259]

Ok, so here is another song I am working on, constructive criticism and help would be greatly appreciated!

 

Here it is so far:

 

(Who am I, but another face in the crowd?

What am I, but another pony, lost to the cause?)

 

I look up at the stars and wonder,

What it would be like to be,

Somepony special,

And why I cannot find my space to be me,

In this crazy, mixed up world

This world that I live in

Never given the chance

 

(chorus)

I could always find another way

I could always find another place to stay

to be what I want to be

there's just so many posabilities

 

I could awlays learn to see your way

but then I'd spend every single day

living a lie

living in dismay

 

(Who am I, but another star in the sky?

What am I, but another broken heart, beyond repair?)

 

I look at this world through teary eyes,

I just want to fit in, how can i be wrong?

But no matter how hard I try,

I can never find my place,

And I can never belong.

 

(chorus)

I could always find another way

I could always find another place to stay

to be what I want to be

there's just so many posabilities

 

I could awlays learn to see your way

but then I'd spend every single day

living a lie

living in dismay

 

I long to belong,

But nopony wants me,

They just ignore and exclude me

And turn to face away

And a stare of pure hatred

So I just shy away,

And into the shadows, I hide

Yet another lonely cast away

 

(chorus)

I could always find another way

I could always find another place to stay

to be what I want to be

there's just so many posabilities

 

I could awlays learn to see your way

but then I'd spend every single day

living a lie

living in dismay

But as I was about to give up,

I was noticed by a pink young mare,

A stranger with a smile,

who only wanted to help and care

With a frizzy pink mane and tail,

She offered me a hoof,

and with much despair and a silent wail,

her warm heart, helped to soothe

 

(chorus)

I could always find another way

I could always find another place to stay

to be what I want to be

there's just so many posabilities

 

I could awlays learn to see your way

but then I'd spend every single day

living a lie

living in dismay

 

(and yeah, that's all i have so far)

Edited October 12, 2013 by Light Heart

[Vinyl Variety 40]

If you replace every instance of the word "pony" with a racial slur and rap it, I think you just might have a hit on your hands there.

[)O( Scarlet )O( 1,259]

Well yeah, this is meant to be pony related, and I ain't racist so I wouldn't put that kind of shit in my songs, heck I don't even like much rap

[DubbyDash 4]

I think that the lyrics really show how you feel. It puts all of your emotion into a general idea, which is good. Oh, and how about 'Where Do I Belong?' As the title?

[)O( Scarlet )O( 1,259]

I think that the lyrics really show how you feel. It puts all of your emotion into a general idea, which is good. Oh, and how about 'Where Do I Belong?' As the title?

 

I like the idea for the title, and you are correct about my emotions into it, I generally write how I feel, it is as you would say my stress/depression release. and thanks ^^

[DubbyDash 4]

I can't wait to see it finished. And I get how singing channels emotions because I write songs sometimes too, horrible they may be. Oh well what genre were you trying to get out of this? I'm assuming just you and an acoustoic guitar but hey, it's your song.

[)O( Scarlet )O( 1,259]

The feel is kind of... well like the rest of my songs, sad and a bit slow, I admit, I got my inspiration from this song when I was listening to Broken Wings.

 

I'm kind of stuck on how to continue it though

 

Oh, I forgot to mention I am pretty good friends with Final Verse, who is friends with 4everfreebrony and Feather, and he is going to introduce me to them sometime , so be looking forward to completed works with music and vocals

Edited October 12, 2013 by Light Heart

[DubbyDash 4]

Whenever I get stuck in writing I usually listen to one of my old songs and then I just... Go with the flow, I guess. It's hard to explain with just words. It works though.

[)O( Scarlet )O( 1,259]

yeah, that usually does the trick for me too, though sometimes it makes my songs take a twist of turns and go in a whole completely different direction

 

but if you have any idea on how i can expand on the song, I would be willing to do a colab

 

actually the feel i want for this is kind of more in the style of Great to be Different by Forest Rain

Edited October 12, 2013 by Light Heart

[DubbyDash 4]

I wouldn't mind a collab, but I haven't done a collab song before, so my best regards if I totally flop it. =P Anyways what's Great to be Different and is it on YouTube?

[)O( Scarlet )O( 1,259]

You don't know of Great to be Different? wow! Anyway here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUC_AwTKLic

 

and it's cool if you flop it, I haven't done a collab myself either.

[DubbyDash 4]

Ooo Ok then lets flop it together! JK I'm sure we'll do just fine. Although we probably will never be on at the same time because you'ee from Australia.

[Vinyl Variety 40]

Well yeah, this is meant to be pony related, and I ain't racist so I wouldn't put that kind of shit in my songs, heck I don't even like much rap

 

I was joking. In seriousness, the lyrics sound pretty good so far, if a bit cheesy. Looking forward to seeing how it turns out.

[)O( Scarlet )O( 1,259]

Lol, yeah I kind of figured that out a little later on, but can't be bothered to really edit my post....

anyway i've updated the song with a bit more...

[DubbyDash 4]

Yeah I was reading that. You finally got out of the block. Anyways I guessed it can't be helped, we'll figure out a way somehow. I know we will.

[)O( Scarlet )O( 1,259]

Well the updated version (the version that i just put up on the OP) is the collab version with Final Verse.

 

So yeah, what do you think?

[DubbyDash 4]

I think it looks pretty good man. I really like the idea of a collab too. Just wanted to restate that. But the song isn't finished yet? Because it still says thats all I have so far.

[)O( Scarlet )O( 1,259]

I think it looks pretty good man. I really like the idea of a collab too. Just wanted to restate that. But the song isn't finished yet? Because it still says thats all I have so far.

Yup not finished yet, I need a little bit more to the last verse or two, kind of a more uplifting feeling to it, if you know what i mean

 

and we can still collab, can you do stuff like music/vocal?

Edited October 12, 2013 by Light Heart

[DubbyDash 4]

Yes I can do vocals! I just don't know if I can record it. whoops. Anyways I think I'm going to try to write a song by tommorow

Brave Sir Robin Ran Away

He Bravely Ran Away

JK.

Anyways again, I can't wait to see the full song completed!

[)O( Scarlet )O( 1,259]

Well you've gotta be better than me, which is actually quite very easy to be, as I cannot sing for peanuts! But yeah, would also be looking into getting music written/recorded for this too.

[DubbyDash 4]

I don't think you caught the Monty Python joke but that's ok. Yeah I guess I could sing, I just have no good place to go record. I guess I should go work on my song now. I may be back on later tonight but I might just focus too hard on the song. Oh well things do happen, I guess. If I'm not back up tonight then around this time or allitle earlier check for me, because I WILL be on for sure tommorow. Anyways don't forget you have my best regards on finishing your song, for I will be 'Twitching' in anticipation. If I'm not on tommorow send it to this email address: baxman11111@gmail.com OR baxman1111@aol.com. Cya tommorow or sooner or later XD.