Asexuals?

[~Master~ Button Mash 2,307]

Sometimes I wonder if I am. I also have some issues like depression and anxiety which work hell on my sex drive, so I kind of flip flop between sexual and asexual depending on how I'm feeling overall.

[FlitterFlutter 1,583]

There are a few around here, you can find some by going through this thread: http://mlpforums.com/topic/5311-whats-your-sexuality/

Not one personally though.

cool thank you for the link man.

[Kelario 95]

My sister's asexual, from what I can tell, and I'm considering going the same way simply because of my poor luck with girls. Looking at my sister (whose personality I've effectively taken on): she has two degrees (for which she paid the motherload of student loans), seeking a Ph.D. in one of them, and being that she lives in about the cheapest possible apartment with a $2000 car she can do nearly anything she damn well pleases, and she hasn't tried nor has an intent to try to even date. Considering the way I'm going, probably going to college for free and everything*, I don't see why I can't do exactly the same and have the same low number of problems.

 

*I'm in Alaska. High school graduates ranking in the top 10% get to go to college in-state all expenses paid. I have a 4.0 as of last semester, and based on grades I know I think I was the only one in my grade to succeed at that.

Edited January 20, 2014 by Kelario

[Discount_Flunky 75]

Ummm guys.  I don't think many of you know what being asexual is.  You can't become asexual you are born that way.  Saying "Sometimes I don't feel like having sex." does not make you asexual.  That's called having a low sex drive, which can be caused by several factors.  True asexual people don't HAVE a sex drive and are sexually attracted to literally nothing.  Also true asexuals are extremely rare.  So unless you can honestly say you've never been attracted to someone or have had literally no interest in sex your entire life you can't really say you are one.

[Delernil 952]

Ummm guys.  I don't think many of you know what being asexual is.  You can't become asexual you are born that way.  Saying "Sometimes I don't feel like having sex." does not make you asexual.  That's called having a low sex drive, which can be caused by several factors.  True asexual people don't HAVE a sex drive and are sexually attracted to literally nothing.  Also true asexuals are extremely rare.  So unless you can honestly say you've never been attracted to someone or have had literally no interest in sex your entire life you can't really say you are one.

around 1% of the population is asexual. If people posted here 100 times only one would likely be an asexual.

[Gravelord Neat-O 305]

uuuhhhhhh i consider myself a guy, i just like doing girly stuff(secretly of course) but i'm not confused about my sexuality. if that makes sense?

[Painted Lattice 131]

Ummm guys.  I don't think many of you know what being asexual is.  You can't become asexual you are born that way.  Saying "Sometimes I don't feel like having sex." does not make you asexual.  That's called having a low sex drive, which can be caused by several factors.  True asexual people don't HAVE a sex drive and are sexually attracted to literally nothing.  Also true asexuals are extremely rare.  So unless you can honestly say you've never been attracted to someone or have had literally no interest in sex your entire life you can't really say you are one.

 

Thank you for saying this.

 

Yes, asexuals have a SEXUAL attraction to NO ONE. It's possible for an asexual to become romantically involved, just without any desire whatsoever to have sex. An asexual potentially could have sex, but they just really don't have a sex drive. At all.

 

It's also just as possible for an asexual to have no romantic attraction, either.

 

My best friend is asexual.

[Kelario 95]

You can't become asexual you are born that way.

(Cut rage about being born homosexual after realizing a different conclusion.)

 

Right, but here's the thing. Everybody is born asexual because when they are a child, they don't know what the hell sex is. You'll notice they have to be told about the birds and the bees rather than figuring it out for themselves, unless they're internet denizens. They decide later on, maybe multiple times, whether to be hetero or asexual. As I said before, I am considering going to asexuality. It is not static.

 

My best friend is asexual.

 

Mine WAS, then I pestered him into getting a girlfriend and now it looks like he's gonna marry her. Proof of what I said above.

 

And for the OP:

 

JackTHerbert specifically said in one of his Banned from Equestria videos that he was asexual.

Edited January 20, 2014 by Kelario

[Throwaway19573639385 764]

(Cut rage about being born homosexual after realizing a different conclusion.)

 

Right, but here's the thing. Everybody is born asexual because when they are a child, they don't know what the hell sex is. You'll notice they have to be told about the birds and the bees rather than figuring it out for themselves, unless they're internet denizens. They decide later on, maybe multiple times, whether to be hetero or asexual. As I said before, I am considering going to asexuality. It is not static.

 

 

Mine WAS, then I pestered him into getting a girlfriend and now it looks like he's gonna marry her. Proof of what I said above.

 

And for the OP:

 

JackTHerbert specifically said in one of his Banned from Equestria videos that he was asexual.

 

Not true, kids don't "decide" later on. Starting from the age as low as 3 kids already develop a sexual preference. Often learning that hugging and kisses are signs of affection. Children gradually learn and explore their own sexuality, as well as their own body and those of others. I could go in detail for how this curiousity develops each year up until the 16th, but that would mean I'd have to write an essay-long comment about it, which I don't really have any desire to do.

 

Here are two good articles that tackle the subject of sexual development, they're easy to understand as well, if you didn't have any knowledge on the subject beforehand, give it a whirl.

 

http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/sexual_health/development.html#a_Infants_and_Toddlers

 

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/124/3/992.full

 

Now the question how sexuality works exactly is still of much debate. I myself believe that sexuality is a part of the DNA that's located in introns, which are seemingly random strains of molecules. We've discovered all kinds of uses for introns and exons, but not all of them.

 

My belief is that everyone is born with an "affinity" to different sexualities. One might have a very strong connection to heterosexuality, while at the same time having a little connection to homosexuality, but none for asexuality or pansexuality. It's up to the environment to stimulate these kinds of interactions. Said person could live in a very conservative family, he would most likely be taught to be heterosexual, and reject the homosexual affinity. Though if said person grew up in a more open family, he might also have an attraction to those of the same gender. So what it boils down to is both genetics, and the environment they grow up in wherein the environment works as a stimulation for different sexualities. That's just pure speculation on my part though, it's what I think might be the case, though I'm still waiting for a real answer. Only time will tell.

 

However, the first part what you've said is wrong, not everyone is born asexual, even someone with no family has an attraction to a gender, as seen with kids that grew up in the wild or kids who grew up with no parental figure at all (homeless kids for example). The only reason why people find it necessary to talk about sexual education, is because there are also other technical parts involved that kids might not understand, such as STDs and pregnancy. The attraction to a gender, or genders, or none at all, will always have been there in the first place.

 

Finally, there are many, many people that realize what their sexuality is and never change. I myself am pansexual for example, I always thought I was heterosexual until I dared to be more open-minded about subjects such as this, talking with people and assessing more information, eventually figuring out my own sexuality. And honestly, I am happy that I know who I am, and I will never consider changing my sexuality, because in the end, I always knew that I was pansexual, and it was never a choice for me. 

 

And I'm willing to bet the ones who will tell you they actually always knew they were a certain sexuality versus the people who made a conscious choice to have a sexuality will always heavily outweigh the latter party.

 

--

 

So more on-topic, nope, I'm not asexual, quite the opposite actually. While I do respect people for their sexuality, only focusing attraction for one gender, or having no attraction at all to any gender (whether only sexual or also romantic) is something very alien to me. Because, even though I like guys more, gender is something I don't care about at all, and it shouldn't be an issue. That's just my thought on it, I just don't understand it because it doesn't make sense to me. That doesn't mean I'm mocking anyone, I'll always respect people for who they are, but some concepts feel irrational to me, and they probably always will. 

[Zekromic 1,054]

I'm heterosexual in the meaning that I like the opposite sex, but I'm asexual, meaning that I can live the rest of my life without getting laid. Saved a lot of stress at high school as a result, they were bitches anyway. Sadly, loosing my virginity with a prostitute (18th birthday gift, from my dad) wasn't the most pleasant thing in the world, it only made my asexuality stronger  

[Clover Heart 978]

I'm at the polar opposite of the spectrum when it comes to sexuality/asexuality. My libido's very strong and I love sex. However, I can understand where it would disinterest or even skeeve some people out. In no other context is it okay to stick a part of your body into someone and expel fluid into someone. Actually, thinking about it grosses me out a bit... So if you're taking it in that way, I can understand, though not on a personal level.

 

I had a friend who was asexual, though I feel more like she was coitophobic (fear of sex.) At the mere mention of people having sex (not even detailed or graphic) people having any sort of PDA as simple as kissing, people being affectionate toward each other, even people just being in relationships, she'd get all freaked out and stuff. She was a schoolmate of mine. One time, we were given an exercise, I think, where we had to describe our ideal spouse or something, and she could not take it at face value. She freaked out. I think this may have gotten better as she's gotten older, but I haven't kept in close contact with her. And as a pansexual myself... while I didn't really understand her, since she was the first asexual person I'd met, I tried to be understanding at the least. Trying to watch how I act or what I say so that she wasn't uncomfortable. For a long time, she wasn't really willing to do the same. At least, that's how it felt. I dunno, she could have been making a genuine effort to be accepting but didn't know how or something. I can't say since I'm not her, but I think for a long time, just that I'm pansexual, I creeped her out until she got to know me better. Which is funny, because I was a virgin at the time. Anyway, I don't think this is par for the course with asexuals? If it is, you may correct me. This is just the experience that I've had. Basically, the only experience.

 

Yah. They basically copy themselves. Single called organisms do this.

 

Some animals are capable of parthenogenesis, where the females can fertilize their own eggs. Mammals are not capable of this. Nor are we capable of dividing to make another individual. Asexual reproduction exists. That doesn't mean that humans are capable of it. Unless you consider something like in vitro fertilization a form of asexual reproduction. And people say virgin birth is a myth.

 

 

I'm heterosexual in the meaning that I like the opposite sex, but I'm asexual, meaning that I can live the rest of my life without getting laid. Saved a lot of stress at high school as a result, they were bitches anyway. Sadly, loosing my virginity with a prostitute (18th birthday gift, from my dad) wasn't the most pleasant thing in the world, it only made my asexuality stronger  

 

I think the term may be "heteroromantic." Unless you're sexually attracted to the opposite sex and just don't want to have sex. Just throwing that out there. Define yourself as you will.

Edited January 20, 2014 by Clover Heart

[Wingnut 6,994]

I once had a very close friend who was an aromantic asexual. For her entire life she has never contemplated sex, marriage, or felt a physical attraction to another person. She was in her 30s when we met so it's probably safe to say she's truly asexual as opposed to someone with a low sex drive or a wish to be celibate for whatever reason. She's still capable of forming very deep friendships and strong emotional attachments to others. In short, she's a loving person but without a sexual/romantic component. The only weird thing about her is that she did have a fantasy sex life. She's drawn to mostly male but sometimes female cartoon characters and has delightful romantic daydreams with them. I asked her to explain and I think the gist of her reasoning is that crushing on cartoons and fictional men is safe because they're make believe and can never hurt you the way real life people can.

 

Speaking for myself, I'm hetero but possibly with some asexual tendencies. I'm attracted to women but my desire is almost solely for companionship. For one thing, I don't believe in sex before marriage. My last girlfriend can vouch for that. I like women, but with every single one I've met so far, bromance trumps romance!

[Dr. Zerkagon 92]

I'm asexual, or it could be I'm not quite the best at being sociable, but no; i have never been attracted to someone.

[FlitterFlutter 1,583]

Don't forget guys that if you are under the age of like 10 then you might just not have found the right person.

[Painted Lattice 131]

Or wait scratch that, an asexual can have a sex drive it's just that they have no sexual attraction to another person personally.

 

It seems there are a lot of variables in asexuality and that the only solid rule to be considered asexual is to lack sexual attraction to others.

 

http://asexualeducation.tumblr.com/aceedufaq

http://asexualeducation.tumblr.com/asexualif

 

These pages will provide information everyone needs to know.

 

http://house-of-ace.tumblr.com/post/63623926750/giant-list-of-asexuality-and-aromantic-blogs

 

In my personal opinion, I feel that our way of handling sexual and romantic terms is a little off. Take the word "love" for example. There are so many different types of love, and yet the English language only uses "love" and "like" and so on. If we want to say the type of love in friendship, we have to call it platonic love. If we want to say the love you have for another individual that's close and personal, we have to use the word romantic. The word "asexual" is pretty confusing.

 

BLAH sorry I didn't mean to turn it into this big thing. It's just that sexuality is something with a lot of gray areas (like so many other facets of life) and when you have that there's a lot of areas for explanations, debates, what have you. My best friend is asexual so it strikes a certain personal chord with me.

Edited January 20, 2014 by PaintedLattice

[Clover Heart 978]

Don't forget guys that if you are under the age of like 10 then you might just not have found the right person.

 

 If you are "under the age of like 10," then you are asexual. Children are not sexual beings. They don't experience sexuality. That basically doesn't happen until you hit puberty.

 

Also, if you're under 10, you shouldn't be on the forums to begin with. Rules say you have to be 13 or older.

Edited January 20, 2014 by Clover Heart

[FlitterFlutter 1,583]

 If you are "under the age of like 10," then you are asexual. Children are not sexual beings. They don't experience sexuality. That basically doesn't happen until you hit puberty.

 

Also, if you're under 10, you shouldn't be on the forums to begin with. Rules say you have to be 13 or older.

I was saying 10 as a generalization but you you would be correct in both of those points.

[Concord 1,982]

Hello!

 

Well, in my experience, asexuals are quite calm people, easy to talk to, and quite friendly. I myself am not an asexual, but I have nothing to complain about them.

[Discount_Flunky 75]

 If you are "under the age of like 10," then you are asexual. Children are not sexual beings. They don't experience sexuality. That basically doesn't happen until you hit puberty.

 

Also, if you're under 10, you shouldn't be on the forums to begin with. Rules say you have to be 13 or older.

No

 

This is incredibly false.  Children do experience sexuality.  Ever heard of kids playing "Doctor"?  It's not just about pure curiosity sometimes.  I was attracted to girls in kinder garden.  I didn't really know what sex was but I still wanted to be with them.  Now I'm a rare case, but I think your confusing sexual innocence and naivety will a lack of a sexuality.   It's different for every child but I can ensure you that children do have a sexuality. 

[Clover Heart 978]

No

 

This is incredibly false.  Children do experience sexuality.  Ever heard of kids playing "Doctor"?  It's not just about pure curiosity sometimes.  I was attracted to girls in kinder garden.  I didn't really know what sex was but I still wanted to be with them.  Now I'm a rare case, but I think your confusing sexual innocence and naivety will a lack of a sexuality.   It's different for every child but I can ensure you that children do have a sexuality. 

 

I don't agree. Curiosity about bodies does not mean sexuality or sexual attraction. It's curiosity. You may be able to experience limerence, but when you're a kid, you're don't look at another kid and go "Mmm, I want a piece of that!" Ugh, that made me feel gross to type... There might be some attraction happening, in the way that we're drawn to certain faces or features in a general way, but I don't think that that's sexuality.

[FlitterFlutter 1,583]

No

 

This is incredibly false.  Children do experience sexuality.  Ever heard of kids playing "Doctor"?  It's not just about pure curiosity sometimes.  I was attracted to girls in kinder garden.  I didn't really know what sex was but I still wanted to be with them.  Now I'm a rare case, but I think your confusing sexual innocence and naivety will a lack of a sexuality.   It's different for every child but I can ensure you that children do have a sexuality. 

I am not trying the be mean but i have to say that i disagree because everybody had a preschool "girlfriend" but that does not mean that they have a sexuality they are really just friends. but them being in preschool don't know what a true relationship is.

[Discount_Flunky 75]

I don't agree. Curiosity about bodies does not mean sexuality or sexual attraction. It's curiosity. You may be able to experience limerence, but when you're a kid, you're don't look at another kid and go "Mmm, I want a piece of that!" Ugh, that made me feel gross to type... There might be some attraction happening, in the way that we're drawn to certain faces or features in a general way, but I don't think that that's sexuality.

 

 

If I had no sexual orientation back then, then how come I was only attracted to girls?  The answer is I was already heterosexual, because I was born that way.  (In fact having an attraction to anything kind of proves I wasn't asexual.)   You don't start off asexual and then magically transform into some other orientation once you hit puberty, because that would mean that orientation is 100% about hormones, which the evidence says it's not.

[Clover Heart 978]

If I had no sexual orientation back then, then how come I was only attracted to girls?  The answer is I was already heterosexual, because I was born that way.  (In fact having an attraction to anything kind of proves I wasn't asexual.)   You don't start off asexual and then magically transform into some other orientation once you hit puberty, because that would mean that orientation is 100% about hormones, which the evidence says it's not.

 

Asexual may not be your orientation, but you're not a sexual being when you're a kid. You say "attracted to girls." What kind of attraction? There are many kinds of attraction. I think I'd seriously doubt that it was sexual.

 

I think I misspoke. So they're not asexual. They're just not sexual.

[Envy 6,169]

Oh how I wish could be asexual (and aromantic), but I am far from being either. And trust me, it has nothing to do with the way others have treated me, me having a lack of faith in being able to find somebody, or my sexual orientation. It's just not the way things should be...

[Spikey-Wikey 378]

I am an Asesexual also, I am definate