mega thread What are you thinking?

[ExplosionMare 21,031]

2 hours ago, Raskolnikov said:

I would like to say that I also talk a lot of shit and I understand if other abuse survivors react differently, I just have a lot of anger in me and I don't mean to sound shaming if other survivors react differently.

I will consider this, thank you. :< It's definitely nice to discuss with people who get more angry and indignant about such horrible behaviour. There is often an image of abuse victims being small and people pleasing, and I am like that a lot too, but it's a very shallow image. I burn with anger to power multiple reactors, to be frank, and if doesn't look pallatable.

I understand the anger, I'm an abuse survivor as well and I've been angered enough times that I cuss in my head all the time even though I actually hate cussing (sometimes I do it out loud, too, but only when I have the space to do so). What your parents are doing to you makes me mad, what sick people to try and hold power over you rather than be the kind of authority figures to help and guide you. I'm sorry you feel like you have to hide yourself around them just to survive. 

Feel free to DM me too if you want to, you can vent all you want there.

---

It really sucks that there's people out there who get pleasure in hurting others and having power over them. They end up hurting some really sweet people. I just hate to see it. I wish all abusers could just go live on an island together and all the wholesome/normal people can be free to live their lives.

[Pandora 38,441]

Thinking about taking a break from online, I'm growing more and more exhausted and in two weeks is my holiday so I just want that to go well..
I think i'm being a pain to people and by thinking that, you can actually end up being.. just that. 

I don't know yet, it depends. I should focus on working on art and pets. 

I also think about the night sky sometimes because the stars are pretty and the moon is too. 

[Raskolnikov 1,642]

43 minutes ago, ExplosionMare said:

I understand the anger, I'm an abuse survivor as well and I've been angered enough times that I cuss in my head all the time even though I actually hate cussing (sometimes I do it out loud, too, but only when I have the space to do so). What your parents are doing to you makes me mad, what sick people to try and hold power over you rather than be the kind of authority figures to help and guide you. I'm sorry you feel like you have to hide yourself around them just to survive. 

Feel free to DM me too if you want to, you can vent all you want there.

---

It really sucks that there's people out there who get pleasure in hurting others and having power over them. They end up hurting some really sweet people. I just hate to see it. I wish all abusers could just go live on an island together and all the wholesome/normal people can be free to live their live

Yeah it's a whole thing unfortunately. They're not evil masterminds, just the painfully ordinary everyday evil of callous disregard for anyone's feelings. One of them is more "cutesy" about it too which makes it more mindfucky than the outright hostility of the other. I didn't have it in them to be this opportunistic and cynical about exploiting a dead person's wishes for cash though, fucking christ.

Thanks for the concern though. 

Seems I'm gonna spend the rest of the day whether I want to feel powerless and humiliated and at least try and save my granddad's small woodland or be a stubborn mule and have to bear knowing I didn't intervene. :\

[Clawdeen 19,780]

1 hour ago, Pandora said:

Thinking about taking a break from online, I'm growing more and more exhausted and in two weeks is my holiday so I just want that to go well..
I think i'm being a pain to people and by thinking that, you can actually end up being.. just that. 

I don't know yet, it depends. I should focus on working on art and pets. 

I also think about the night sky sometimes because the stars are pretty and the moon is too. 

I hope things get better for you PanPan 

42 minutes ago, Raskolnikov said:

Yeah it's a whole thing unfortunately. They're not evil masterminds, just the painfully ordinary everyday evil of callous disregard for anyone's feelings. One of them is more "cutesy" about it too which makes it more mindfucky than the outright hostility of the other. I didn't have it in them to be this opportunistic and cynical about exploiting a dead person's wishes for cash though, fucking christ.

Thanks for the concern though. 

Seems I'm gonna spend the rest of the day whether I want to feel powerless and humiliated and at least try and save my granddad's small woodland or be a stubborn mule and have to bear knowing I didn't intervene. :\

I hope things get better for you as well 

[Pandora 38,441]

6 minutes ago, Clawdeen said:

I hope things get better for you PanPan 

I hope things get better for you as well 

They will, I’m just in my own head too much and that’s not good. 

[Sparklefan1234 179,163]

1 hour ago, Pandora said:

Thinking about taking a break from online, I'm growing more and more exhausted and in two weeks is my holiday so I just want that to go well..
I think i'm being a pain to people and by thinking that, you can actually end up being.. just that. 

I don't know yet, it depends. I should focus on working on art and pets. 

I also think about the night sky sometimes because the stars are pretty and the moon is too. 

 I hope you feel better and that you have a nice holiday. 

I'm not really thinking about anything at the moment. 

[Longhaul 7,928]

I will admit, I'm having some disconcerting thoughts, mainly about my new position, but I attribute that to nerves and nothing more.  As I settle in, I should be fine.  

[Clawdeen 19,780]

I suppose I’ll stop being lazy 

[Raskolnikov 1,642]

For some reason I assumed the second post was ALSO in the 'last food you ate' thread so I just read the first sentence and just went.. 'whoa. Is it just me or is Iforgotmybrain utterly badass?' 

[Acinonyx 1,908]

1 minute ago, Raskolnikov said:

For some reason I assumed the second post was ALSO in the 'last food you ate' thread so I just read the first sentence and just went.. 'whoa. Is it just me or is Iforgotmybrain utterly badass?' 

Next level veal. 

[Clawdeen 19,780]

1 minute ago, Raskolnikov said:

For some reason I assumed the second post was ALSO in the 'last food you ate' thread so I just read the first sentence and just went.. 'whoa. Is it just me or is Iforgotmybrain utterly badass?' 

That would be one heck of a meal lol 

[Acinonyx 1,908]

Hmm I should get some new stickers for this laptop, but what? 

[Ice Princess Silky <3 17,836]

4 hours ago, Longhaul said:

I will admit, I'm having some disconcerting thoughts, mainly about my new position, but I attribute that to nerves and nothing more.  As I settle in, I should be fine.  

New positions mean new chances to grow into your new skin! Nervousness is fine but can also be changed into an excitement, as well. Regardless, you are not alone here. 
-----------

What am I thinking? Hmm... I have been enjoying the rich, meaningful friendships that have been connecting with me lately. Showing that friendship can have deep, meaningful roots without it always having to be about me giving out free compassion or free this or free that 24/7... otherwise you're a villain if you don't.. o.o;;

It's nice. Settling in a bit and just... learning all of this. I think I have just been too tense and it's easy for people to step on that or abuse it when you're mind is not fully grounded or relaxed. 

O, speaking of friendships, I was just informed that apparently as I was rushing out the door yesterday, I did a typo on here and I am also thinking about how lovely it is that MY DEAR FRIEND @ExplosionMare did not care to correct "pool party" from poop party... gee thaaaaanks... what are friends for, right?? >:000000

[Longhaul 7,928]

6 minutes ago, Ice Princess Silky &lt;3 said:

O, speaking of friendships, I was just informed that apparently as I was rushing out the door yesterday, I did a typo on here and I am also thinking about how lovely it is that MY DEAR FRIEND @ExplosionMare did not care to correct "pool party" from poop party... gee thaaaaanks... what are friends for, right?? >:000000

Made me think that was sooooooome party...

[Ice Princess Silky <3 17,836]

1 minute ago, Longhaul said:

Made me think that was sooooooome party...

OH NO THAT MAKES ME THINK OF A VIDEO THAT @Luna the Great of all the Russias MADE ME LAUGH AT SOME YEARS AGO.
 

Spoiler

 

He's so innocent, I can't. 

I'm thinking about absolute nonsense now because of this.

[Raskolnikov 1,642]

Urgh I am definitely projecting hard there... 

[Clawdeen 19,780]

When you walk into a triggered warned thread (on another site) and get triggered anyway 💀 

[Raskolnikov 1,642]

11 minutes ago, Clawdeen said:

When you walk into a triggered warned thread (on another site) and get triggered anyway 💀 

I feel bad for laughing but I felt this one in my soul sorry 🤣

[Clawdeen 19,780]

Moments ago, Raskolnikov said:

I feel bad for laughing but I felt this one in my soul sorry 🤣

I was like I can handle it

 

Then I was wrong lol

[Slumberlumber 1,259]

2 hours ago, Acinonyx said:

Hmm I should get some new stickers for this laptop, but what? 

The skulls of your enemies? Lights to attract moths?

Slowly but surely trying to forget the pain over the years some people have caused me. When I'm on my days off it doesn't happen, as much. But when I'm a work it's almost all I can think of until the end of the shift. Going to moon bonfires occasionally to practice grounding and relaxation in an attempt to beat it.

[Clawdeen 19,780]

This is fine. I didn’t want to get any sleep anyway

[Slumberlumber 1,259]

DO you think the Kirin would be insanely pissed or bummed out that their species are the lowest rank of the pony-species on our forum? 

[Octavia Scratch 531]

13 minutes ago, Slumberlumber said:

DO you think the Kirin would be insanely pissed or bummed out that their species are the lowest rank of the pony-species on our forum? 

If all of them are like Autumn Blaze, then I think they're fine

[Clawdeen 19,780]

Bow down to the queen

[Slumberlumber 1,259]

18 minutes ago, Octavia Scratch said:

If all of them are like Autumn Blaze, then I think they're fine

Not all would be though....best keep it to ourselves.

1 minute ago, Clawdeen said:

Bow down to the queen

Do I get a royal rank if I do?