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Fanfic Review?

ZukoIsBestPony

By ZukoIsBestPony, User

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ZukoIsBestPony

ZukoIsBestPony 561

(edited)

So, I wrote this awhile back, and I think it's pretty good, but nopony on the site has given me much feedback and I was wondering if it was bad. It's short, more of an introduction than a chapter. Can somepony look at it for me? Give me a full critical review, don't sugarcoat it and don't hold back. If you have any ideas I would love to hear them.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10047760/1/Truth

Thank you.

Edited by HarmoniousWhovian
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My newest fanfic: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/196882/internal-struggle (Dark, rated T)

Some oneshots: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/196109/scootaloos-past (Sad, rated T)

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/192991/a-dragon-and-a-princess-walk-into-a-bar (Slice of life, rated T)

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Untitled Goose Q

Untitled Goose Q 5,137

Well, I did notice some missing punctuation. It also does not flow very well.

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On 4/22/2016 at 6:16 PM, The Nightly Spectre said:

One does not ask why The Questioner is awesome. One should instead ask their gods if they ever compare to the awesomeness of the one and only Questioner.

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ZukoIsBestPony

ZukoIsBestPony 561

  • Author

Well, I did notice some missing punctuation. It also does not flow very well.

How so? Are there places where I should smooth transitions?

My newest fanfic: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/196882/internal-struggle (Dark, rated T)

Some oneshots: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/196109/scootaloos-past (Sad, rated T)

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/192991/a-dragon-and-a-princess-walk-into-a-bar (Slice of life, rated T)

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Untitled Goose Q

Untitled Goose Q 5,137

How so? Are there places where I should smooth transitions?

It's hard to say, really. The flow of a story is hard to define.

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On 4/22/2016 at 6:16 PM, The Nightly Spectre said:

One does not ask why The Questioner is awesome. One should instead ask their gods if they ever compare to the awesomeness of the one and only Questioner.

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ZukoIsBestPony

ZukoIsBestPony 561

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(edited)

It's hard to say, really. The flow of a story is hard to define.

Is it off-putting? Did I make Twilight's emotion change to fast?

 

Also, I face the question, to ship or not to ship? I wrote this when I was going through my Twijack phase.

 

I would also like to note that a lot of the fanfiction on the account is my cousins. We wrote a collab awhile back and we just kinda share the account now. The one I linked was written by just me tho.

Edited by HarmoniousWhovian

My newest fanfic: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/196882/internal-struggle (Dark, rated T)

Some oneshots: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/196109/scootaloos-past (Sad, rated T)

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/192991/a-dragon-and-a-princess-walk-into-a-bar (Slice of life, rated T)

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yeet

yeet 2,027

Yeah, I've got no idea how to review that. I like it, maybe it would have been better to have applejack stay with twilight a bit longer, but that's just what I think.

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ZukoIsBestPony

ZukoIsBestPony 561

  • Author

Yeah, I've got no idea how to review that. I like it, maybe it would have been better to have applejack stay with twilight a bit longer, but that's just what I think.

Ya, thank you for liking it. One of my flaws is that I rely too much on momentum from the source material to support the way the characters are acting in fanfic. Or at least, I think that's a proper self-analysis. What do you think?

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My newest fanfic: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/196882/internal-struggle (Dark, rated T)

Some oneshots: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/196109/scootaloos-past (Sad, rated T)

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/192991/a-dragon-and-a-princess-walk-into-a-bar (Slice of life, rated T)

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yeet

yeet 2,027

Ya, thank you for liking it. One of my flaws is that I rely too much on momentum from the source material to support the way the characters are acting in fanfic. Or at least, I think that's a proper self-analysis. What do you think?

I have absolutely no idea.
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ZukoIsBestPony

ZukoIsBestPony 561

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I have absolutely no idea.

K, well, you should get some sleep, you sound exhausted.

  • Brohoof 1

My newest fanfic: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/196882/internal-struggle (Dark, rated T)

Some oneshots: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/196109/scootaloos-past (Sad, rated T)

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/192991/a-dragon-and-a-princess-walk-into-a-bar (Slice of life, rated T)

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yeet

yeet 2,027

K, well, you should get some sleep, you sound exhausted.

I did get some sleep. I got to seep at around 2:30am and woke up at around 10am.
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