Weird ways you've injured yourself?

[Champion RD92 8,658]

What are some weird ways you have hurt or injured yourself? It doesn't have to be serious injuries, it can be something really minor.

 

Like today, I went to class and I somehow cut my thumb on the doorknob when I opened the door to the classroom, and my thumb wouldn't stop bleeding for like over 2 hours, it was really weird. I still have no idea how it even cut my thumb in the first place lol

 

 

[Guardian Braveheart 23]

Hmm... Once, when I was sick, I drank something hot, then my throat started to bleed. Panicking a bit, I ate ice and it stopped. I just don't know what went wrong.

[Paladin Butters 163]

I was asleep, and I was apparently sleeping on my arm. my reflexes got sorta paranoid while it was going on, and I was dead to the world. My arm flew up into the air coming down on my opened mouth. I wake up to find my tooth in my the back of my hand, and my mouth with blood dripping into it. I had to pull my tooth out of my hand, and once I did I fell back asleep.

[Something Floaty 1,334]

I have a small scar next to my eye, right near my temple. When people ask about it, I give various explanations. When random people or coworkers, or family members who haven't heard the story yet ask me, I say that I bumped my head into a wall while I was working and gashed myself. When pretty girls ask me, I say that I was grazed by a bullet while dragging blind orphans and senior citizens (and their guide dogs) out of a burning building that was being attacked by terrorists. When prospective employers ask me, I tell them that I was grazed by a bullet at my previous job while tackling my boss to get him out of the line of fire during a robbery (by terrorists). 

 

However, the truth is that it happened when my friends and I were camping one weekend when I was 18. We were toasting marshmallows, and I was trying to teach the girl I was dating at the time how to toast them without ruining them, because she had never been camping before. She left one of her marshmallows in the fire too long, probably because she was too busy ogling me and laughing at my witty comments, and the marshmallow ignited like a torch. Before any of us could say "well, that's ruined. Oh well. Anyways, whatever you do, don't wave the stick around like an epee while the flaming marshmallow is still attached to it", she began waving the stick around like an epee with the marshmallow still attached. It caught me right in the side of the head while still on fire and immediately stuck to the side of my head like sugary napalm. I am told that I screamed like a man passing a kidney stone while riding a crocodile naked inside a volcano. One of my friends had the presence of mind to toss the water in his water bottle on my face, which helped stop the burning, but I was left with a burn mark that looked like Gorbachev's birthmark in miniature, a patch of hair missing just above the sideburns, and eyelashes glued together at the corner by marshmallow. Less than an eighth of an inch more, and I might have been blinded. Luckily, I don't scar easily and the eventual scar is small (about the size of a dime), but after a pretty enjoyable weekend of "I'm sorry I almost turned you into Nick Fury with a JetPuff sword" sex, I broke up with that girl. I can't be with someone who can't camp or toast marshmallows without turning into Obi-Wan Kenobi. 

[Lightning-flickr 214]

chipped my 2 front teeth in a cup cake eating contest..

I though it'd be funny to smash my face in the cup cake so my face came down on it like a ton of bricks then when I came back up I was all like "...Am...Am I missing something *checked the reflection from my phone* Yep. My teeth. I should probably go to the dentist and it inspired this: 

[Mr F 1,522]

I kicked my foot into a bookshelf.

A second later I relized that it was blood all over the room.

Yay for almost loosing a toe. xD

[cuteycindyhoney 13,316]

My mild OCD tendencies injured me once. I broke my big toe when I kicked a box of computer paper that wasn't lined up properly with the others at an office supply store. Guess what? It didn't line up right because there was an electrical outlet box behind it. The box stayed right where it was, and I felt a crunch, and LOTS OF PAIN!

 

I also once fell down a whole flight of stairs, and my husband called 9-1-1. I got a free ride in an ambulance (Second time I did THAT! First was after a huge car crash I was in) and  spent about 12 hours at the hospital. Luckily, I had no broken bones or internal injuries. I was just battered, bruised, stiff, and really sore for days.

[Kurai 304]

After a hour of xbox I started to feel light headed, I stood up and thats when I noticed a pool of blood around my foot. There was a 7cm long cut just above my ankle, had to go get it stitched.
No idea what caused it.

[Fender 1,284]

I recently sliced open my left index finger by using a Bowie Knife as a box cutter. Eeeeeyup. 

[Retired Commissar 305]

I slipped in the bathtub once, and put a dent in my shin.
My dad was carrying a pole, he turned around and hit me in the face. (I count this as weird, cuz it always seems to be a comedy act)

I was cutting something in the dark, and I was pushing down on the knife, but I didn't realize the blade was face up, so I basically drove a knife into my thumb. (more stupid than weird)
 

[Virgil 685]

So a couple days ago I just move my right hand, which was too close to my left hand, fairly quickly, and apparently I managed to cut my left hand with one of my normal length (for Men) finger nail. Yeah Red Cross should just have a guy follow me around with a bucket to collect my blood...

[KimJongUn 4]

What can I say.. I eat anything

[RNgineer 161]

I ate expired yogurt once, it was just as bad as an injury

[Moss 95]

I was using a coffe grinder and was in the process of putting the bowl back into the grinder,turning it hard because its hard to get a grip on it.It turned out that i was turning it the wrong way then put in it properly.Noticed a minute later a small cut on my finger.

[yeet 2,027]

I tripped over a football and a sprained my ankle.

My brother took the only can opener so I had to open the can with a knife, I cut my finger on the can and blood was pouring out.

Some other stuff I cant think of right now, them things have slipped my mind.

[Moonlight 7,288]

A little bit ago, I was moving my TV and my hand somehow got stuck between the TV and its stand and I ripped my hand out and it sliced open a mark on my hand; it, of course, bled, and I felt like an idiot.

[Shanks 10,816]

What ways haven't I injured myself? I feel like I am living in a Loony Toons cartoon alot of times, I wonder if I should watch out for falling anvils and stray sticks of dynamite. I have a long history of work related knee injuries which have required weeks of being out and physical therapy. The first one being a result of moving my right leg in some awkward ways to get these heavy pallets onto the sales floor with a pallet jack to create displays. The second and third ones were general wear and tear of my knee from my knee constantly hitting the hard tile floor when I am trying to reach the lower shelves while I am stocking (I started wearing knee pads after my 2nd knee injury).

 

My 4th one happened back in November after they came up with the briliant idea of having me be a backup checker, long story short not enough help and I was up there for a good 1 1/2 to 2 hours which is even harder on my knee that breaking down and working loads. And there is my most recent injury which I am now I am out of work from where I sprained my shin while working out and the pain went away in the shin but spread to that same knee that gets hurt again and again and again. And of course there are several minor knee injuries I have had which where I have to leave work early or call out sick.

 

I have had an empty milk pallet fall on my foot once, I have had 6 wheelers/uboats (things designed to move product) hit me in the back of the heel a couple of times. And there was this one time I move my head too suddenly while waking up one morning and I injured my neck. It scared the shit out of me, but all I needed was a couple of days for it to heal. In less serious stuff I cut myself on the sharp edges of the shelves all the time while I am stocking often without even realizing it.

[yeet 2,027]

 

 

I move my head too suddenly while waking up one morning and I injured my neck.

i remember doing that quite a few times. when ive done it i couldnt move my head around for a few minutes.

knee related injuries. one time i was running on a hill and fell, i started rolling down the hill and i hit my knee on a stone. it ripped through my trousers and cut me knee, that was about 6 or 7 years ago and i still have a scar there.

one time i dropped one of my heavy toys on my toe, bucking killed so much.

 

oh, i dont think i mentioned this before, one time last year while playing football my friend accidentally tripped me up, i hit my head against the floor and was out for about a minute, i woke up being carried to medical. they wrapped a bandage around my head, when they took it off it was covered in dry blood. i went to hospital and had a ct scan (or cat scan, i dont remember the name.) yeah, i think that might have had something to do with me liking my little pony, since they happened within a few months of each other. 

[Moonbacon 384]

Ones upon a time i was 5 years old i woke up from bed and went to the living at 6 Am in the morning there was dry blood on pinkie finger i don't know how i got it. It was there when i woke up so i though itwas fake so i just teared it off.

 

And came with it.

 

Was more blood and skin.

 

I peeled off half of the skin on my pinkie.

 

Some panicking parents lots of blood and lots of bandages later.

 

It was like nothing happened.

 

The End.

[Frith is Magick 1,471]

It does not count as an injury, but my weirdest scar was at the hands of a mighty, if unusual, foe:

 

A zipper (dun dun dun)! As I was going to scratch an itch, somehow the zipper on my hoodie cut my knuckle. Granted, that isn't a true injury, but how the hay does a flippin' zipper draw blood?

 

 A testament to my stupidity: A while back I was outside throwing knives, when I noticed a burr on the handle (it hit something solid, so there was a sharp little sliver). I wasn't bothered by the small scratch it left; I figured I could change my throw to avoid it then get rid of the burr later. After about two throws, I managed to forget and wound up cutting my fingers. Yes, plural. 

When I finally got bored, it looked like I killed someone and hid the body. My hands and knives were covered in dirt and blood. 

 

 

 

now i know why my mum wont let me play with knives. 

Knives are perfectly safe, if you're not an idiot. I do dumb stuff knowing I'll get hurt, and I accept the consequences. I could easily avoid 98% of unintentional cuts, but where's the fun in that?

 

I also make sure I am not seen bloody; my parents think I'm responsible and safe.

Edited April 11, 2014 by Frith is Magick

[yeet 2,027]

@@Frith is Magick, now i know why my mum wont let me play with knives. 

[Envy 6,217]

Around 2nd or 3rd grade I somehow broke my middle finger (and pulled the fingernail off, as well. >.<) while playing with a wooden block. It wasn't the stereotypical wooden blocks that kids play with, it was a block used for math or something.

 

I honestly have no recall as to how it actually happened. lol My parents weren't there right when it happened, and I was too young for me to remember now.

Edited April 11, 2014 by Envy

[RED20 289]

In softball I sprained my inner oblique. I didn't even know I had that muscle.

[Revertz 159]

One time i got really drunk and passed out on a old mattress when i woke in the morning i woke with a spring lodged in my stomach and i had lost a lot of blood and was rushed too the emergency ward 

[Teller 360]

I received an impromptu ear-piercing during a fishing trip.