Ok this is me and how MLP Forums helped me!
I have been trying to fit into the society my entire life. I just wanted to be like everyone else. I didn't want any attention into myself. I didn't realize back then that only way I would fit in was to not to fit in. So I was pushed away from groups and I ended up standing in corners quietly and sitting alone in somewhere. I was always alone. No one noticed me.
When I tried to say something to someone they were like I didn't say anything. That hurt me and I started thinking myself that I am no one. I am not wanted. I went deeper into my shell. I started to get depressed because I was bullied being different. I still didn't realize that because I tried to not to be different that was my difference compared to others. I stopped eating at school. My health started getting worse. No one talked to me people just watched me and laughed. I was just trash that people kicked away. I wasn't accepted.
I started going deeper into myself and getting my shell stronger. I was just a machine. There were not any emotions on my face anymore. I didn't react to bullying anymore. I stopped reacting to anything. I didn't smile. I didn't cry, but I was crying still inside. I locked myself and my emotions so deep that no one would ever judge me because of them again! It got so bad that I thought jumping off from a bridge once
Then one sad day. It was just normal day. On my Swedish class when the break started I stayed at class with some other students. Then teacher put that one TV:Show rolling on the screen. It was talk show and the guest was a brony. He was asked why he liked the show. My teacher laughed at him. Then I started wondering why this guy goes to talk show willingly when he was only mocked there. I realized that there had to be something bigger behind this.
I started watching the show and I loved it. Fluttershy was the character I could relate. I watched all the episodes. Then I thought: "That's it?" I wanted more! I started searching something from the Google and I saw MLP Forums. I was checking this site out from June to August. I created account here 11 day of August! I started posting 18 day. It took me while to realize how great this place actually is. This place is heaven. Everyone is friendly and accepting and I realized that I don't need to hide in my shell anymore! It was 13 years since I was last time myself.
This time I didn't want to be like everyone else. This is the only place where I am something and not just no one. This is the only place where I can be. I don't want to be no one anymore.
I'm starting to loosen up a little IRL too and because of this I'm no longer so deep in myself.
- 31
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