I hope my parents just chill out this weekend. I can't stand it when they fight and then my mom goes on a tirade of how awful her husband is (who she won't divorce).
Before their fighting last night, I actually had a pretty great day at work and felt pretty blissful. Since who knows when the family chaos is gonna start, I always feel kinda anxious about being blissful since I know it's not always going to last the whole day. I'm really tired of this and I've told my mom I'm tired of this but I know that no matter what anyone says or does, nothing's going to change between those two. They keep saying they're going to divorce but they never, ever will.
I at least have the dream of (hopefully here rather soon) moving out with my sister in a place where we will try our best not to have screaming matches all the time and to never pick any partners that are cruel to us (I don't doubt my sister's judgment but as for mine...my preferences have unfortunately been similar to my mom's thus far so I just stay away from the dating pool).
I know I go on and on about this subject all the time but it seems that no matter how long I've dealt with this for, I always get so many strong feelings of anger and sadness about it. I usually end up saying a bunch of stupid stuff to my mom which I later end up feeling sad about. It's weird. I wish I could just block things out when my parents fight but the problem with that is, that's how I became depressed because I was just numbing out my emotions. So I can't do that. At the same time, I don't want to always have that rage and sadness. Maybe I'll just ask my sister what she does, since she always manages to be able to hold her tongue in these situations and not upset anybody.