Dawnshine Wonder

Rock, paper, scissors.

Regretful about what I did last week, I realize how far off the rails my pessimism got me, more than that though, attitudes like that would be considered toxic in a fictional place like Equestria, just as it is here in the real world. I'm pretty sure it would also be seen as a form of cowardice also, to give up hope for a better world. That's not what FIM promotes, and it is most certainly not what most people here promote either. I hope in time, I can regain your trust whoever I have hurt here in the posts I made. I don't mean by trusting for the sake of it, I mean by earning it, by behaving better and more positively in my interactions with all of you.

What I'm Made Of…

Thinking back to when I watched the episode of Ed Edd n Eddy where Rolf threw a tantrum because he did not like a camera being pointed at him and thought the camera was taking his soul.

"Rolf will release his rage now!" Rolf from Ed Edd n Eddy.

That's why I use a fan in my bedroom, however there comes a point where it gets so hot as it probably would do around your area, where that's not enough. In that case, air conditioning units despite their drawbacks, is the best alternative. AC units have the issue of removing moisture from the surrounding air though, and need to be drained of the condensation from inside them. If people want my advice on it, I'd say try closing your curtains or blinds to block the sunlight from entering your room, but keep the windows open, it's not ideal, but it usually helps. I know we are supposed to expose ourselves to a bit of sunlight for healthy vitamin D levels, but too much heat can kill us.

Coping, I think I can hold out until my first therapy session this month, I've got a lot to discuss with them, some things I'm not comfortable with saying.

Hi Raskolnikov I don't play instruments, but it is good that some of them have replaceable parts, in time you could probably replace the shoulder rest on your violin. Even if I were to start playing an instrument where would I begin? a steel guitar? or an electronic piano? I never really got good at playing instruments, it's easy to admire the work of others, to truly appreciate it is to learn how music is made, those are my thoughts on it. I do have a preference for electronic and video game music however, I do like listening to classical music from time to time. Gustav Holst - The Planets is one CD album I do listen to sometimes.

Reflecting on some of the things I said here, and how they were not even consistent with what I was going for in my MLP fan fiction. If I am to go with the ethos of Friendship is Magic from MLP official from Hasbro, I need to work on a thing called inclusivity, I realize what I wrote last week, because the implied prejudice toward humans, would not mesh well with Equestria. Yes, our world has problems, but responding with pessimism and negative emotion makes things worse. In my experience here, I learned more about both the importance of tough love, and forgiveness.

Crazy Robo (E-101β) - Sonic Adventure [OST] It may have been a flawed game, but it did have its good moments, E-102 Gamma is one of my favourite characters from Sonic series. Great music for his story, even if his gameplay was too easy, I did love the story and the sacrifice to save the Flicky. Was the robot capable of feeling emotion? we don't really know, however some evidence in the story suggests E-102 Gamma did despise Eggman.

Doesn't this have a relation to metaphysics and spirituality? I would like to discuss this topic further with you if that is okay, Night Sky, but I do have a question about your take on this one and I'd love to read your well written responses if you've got the time, because this is an interesting topic. Ngl, I would consider it an honour for Princess Luna to visit my dreams or anyone else's who wanted this, sure she is a fictional character but fictional characters can still be dreamed about, in the real world, our reality, the subconscious creates the illusion. However in an imaginary scenario where our reality got flipped on its head and she were real, I would not fear Luna, why? because I'd know she is sincere and compassionate. It makes no sense to fear whom does not wish to harm us and clearly has no ulterior motives in my opinion. People are free to disagree and that is okay, I kind of understand why some people would fear someone who is so powerful and apparently has vast knowledge of the psyche. Princess Luna uses the dreamworld to help individuals deal with recurring nightmares and to stop whatever is causing them, which has a solid ethical basis, because recurring nightmares are not cool, and yes, it is plausible that sometimes those nightmares can occur in Equestria because of hidden or unresolved traumas, guilt or insecurities. I'm well aware that Princess Luna is capable of such devastation if she chose to do it, but since season 1 debut episode particularly around Scootaloo and other denizens of Equestria who she visited dreams of, she has shown herself to be gentle, she is not perfect, but then what individual is perfect, fictional or not? I see the beauty in Princess Luna's actions that many probably would not, and you do also. I don't believe Princess Luna is cruel, even if some people may think of her dreamwalking abilities as being creepy, weird or out of character for her.

I had looked this song up the other day when I was listening to Bon Jovi - Livin' On a Prayer, Final Countdown by Europe is nice. It is good to see Snoopy Fan posting it here.

Wondering if I will ever get to sleep.

Thanks Raskolnikov, how are you? you still discussing things about Disney films? I think I may go for a walk tonight, when alone to listen to songs on my music player I think I can avoid the social anxiety problem, and I should be safe out there. I've taken my medication but that does not seem to work either but despite that I still have trouble sleeping. My body is a wreck at the moment, and now being cut off without a reason why, I have no idea what I did wrong, if I did anything wrong at all. Was it something I said in political discussions? for goodness sake, I don't understand people in this world. Like I thought this forum would be a great place to discuss MLP and other topics, and it still is, but I never expected this to happen. Snoopy Fan and I still get on, as do my other friends, but even then, what hurts, hurts. I don't care about my health anymore, matter of fact if I do manage to sleep later on I hope I never wake up, because real life, is unbearable.

I don't know what to do anymore, I've been crying. I cannot get to sleep, and now I found out someone who used to consider me a friend removed me, without a reason why I am gutted, like he used to call me bestie. I still have Snoopy Fan as a friend here and Night Sky, but I never even argued with that other person here.

I mean, Night Sky is not wrong, I don't use tumblr myself however given its popularity I would not be surprised if some people did say absurd things about MLP on there. People have a right to their opinions of course, however by the same reasoning, there is a thing called debate. Night Sky told me people he found on tumblr criticized the Monarchy of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, apparently fictional Princess bashing is seen as cool by some people now.

It's as I said, it's almost like a piece of Equestria, is here with us on these forums. Both you and Sparklefan1234 have been a great help. I noticed the compassion people generally have here, like they're showing kindness and understanding where they can. Snoopy Fan likes the posts I put on his profile from time to time, about MLP or other things. I have other friends here too, we cannot please everyone, true, but I found this community to be welcoming for the most part.

Going to sleep, but if I wake up, I am going to regret it.

Hope is a naive fantasy. Nihilism is now my philosophy, where I don't believe there's any point to my existence, evolution just brought me into a chaotic and godless universe, which will inevitably destroy itself.

Considering making a grimdark MLP fan fiction (not the same fantasy I wished to be in) about Queen Chrysalis right now, to let off some steam. The plot, she uses her shapeshifting abilities to cause chaos on Earth where humans inhabit. There, she exacerbates the problem of an already divided and violent species, causing them to wipe each other out. She recruits some humans, but only as a means to an end, after she gets what she wants, she kills them. With Earth conquered, she goes back to her homeworld where others were completely oblivious to what she did. My line of thinking, what's the difference between her doing that, and humans doing it to themselves? Ignorance is ignorance.

I don't know about everybody else, however I must point out I would not like to have a lucid dream, because otherwise if it's a dream I like to be in, lucid dreams may lead me to recognize it being fake, it depends of course, but some lucid dreamers are able to do this. But I suppose it's a safer alternative than say, psychedelics, when people start hallucinating, then that is a whole different problem and it usually means there is something fundamentally wrong going on with our brain. Hallucinations would not be a good substitute for dreams. Some people claim to have Near Death Experiences and met spiritual beings, be it God or whoever, but none of that was ever proven. That too is a different issue than dreams people have, because not all dreams were claimed to had been NDE's or out of body experiences. Dreaming itself during times when we are healthy, is a normal part of sleep, with the exception of recurring nightmares, which could indicate a mental health problem.