Lines you'll never catch FIM characters saying.

[Singe 2,109]

Flim: Brother we're going to be raking in the bits when we get these cheap teachers to assist in our friendship university.

Flam: Yes and we'll also save on teaching material since they are more of the feeling type than how Princess Twilight teaches.

Flim: That does beg the question on how we address the part of all our teachers being registered offenders?

Flam: We'll require all our students to sign consent forms. That way we're not liable and they never read it anyway. 

Flim: Brilliant.

 

Trixie: Why are you trying to learn about friendship from her?

Starlight Glimmer: Oh, I'm just building up trust to lower her guard for maximum back stabbing effect.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Celestia, who was that mysterious colt running around causing a disturbance?

Princess Celestia: I knew this day would come. That colt is the great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandson of my disowned child.

Twilight Sparkle: Wait you had kids?

Princess Celestia: Of course I had a kid or kids, I've lived for 1000 years. You don't expect me to be single all my life without falling in love and... we're getting off track Twilight.

 

Edited June 2, 2019 by Singe

[RDDash 18,949]

Applejack: okay Apple Bloom I watched that movie in Manehattan so I know what should I do next

Apple Bloom takes out Nerf Super Soaker Bite-acuda water blaster : Alright sis I am ready!

Applejack: let's go get them! No grey skinny extraterrestrial touches my apples

 

[Sparklefan1234 163,474]

Twilight Sparkle: "Princess Celestia is ok but Princess Luna is *so* much cooler!"  *Gives twenty bits* 

[Kion 7,407]

1 minute ago, Sparklefan1234 said:

Twilight Sparkle: "Princess Celestia is ok but Princess Luna is *so* much cooler!"  *Gives twenty bits* 

Princess Celestia: Twilight is alright but Spike is  so much better than her.

Edited June 4, 2019 by Twilight and Starlight

[Dawn-Sunlight 1,228]

Princess Celestia: Sunset Shimmer is no longer allowed to come to this world and she can go eat dirt for all care.

[FalconBrony 290]

Big Mac: "The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma. Eeeyup."

[cuteycindyhoney 13,285]

"Rainbow dash, I am disappointed in you. You accepted 500 bits to say a student was the star player in her high school Buckball team, when she never actually played?" Sigh. "You have a lot to learn! I wouldn't have taken a Bit less then 5000!"

- Twilight Sparkle

[Singe 2,109]

Twilight Sparkle: This must be the part where we try to be nice to the villain and befriend him to repent his evil ways.

Mane 6: Nah!

 

Twilight Sparkle: I don't know what happened. All I said to him was I wanted to be his friend. Then he runs off without saying word.

Rarity: There's a difference between making a friend and straight out putting someone in the friend zone.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Hello, Moon Dancer! *Knocks on door.* She won't answer.

Minuette: Oh, she's probably in one of her drunken stupors again. It'll be hours before she awakes from that.

Twilight Sparkle: She drinks?

Minuette: Well, yeah ever since you left. She just became a heavy drinker.

Edited June 4, 2019 by Singe

[cuteycindyhoney 13,285]

"Why does Chaos have to be so darn disorganized?"

- Discord

 

"My big mistake was going in for magic. If I finished college and got my degree in physics, I would have beat Twilight hooves down if I dropped an Atomic Bomb on Ponyville!"

- Starlight Glimmer

 

"Treehugger, um, ever think of branching out? You weed is top notch, but I've seen the future, and it is METH!"

- Fluttershy

 

"Forget speed. Rarity, you gotta help me! Teach me about make-up, and how to accessorize!"

- Rainbow Dash

 

"Hmmm. I wonder just what would happen if I brought the sun down right on top of Ponyville?"

- Celestia

 

"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie..."

- Luna

 

"I upgraded my whole collection to 8-Track tapes!"

- Vinyl Scratch

(Did I just show my age?)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[RDDash 18,949]

Twilight Sparkle: "I don't know what am I doing with my life  I never going to have a boyfriend, get married, have kids, grow old, watch them to grow up, getting married and had their own kids.

"My only happiness comes from my niece that came from my brother because you know he did the thing.

"And it all princess Celestia fault"

Mane 5: "Woah, calm down Twi"

Edited June 4, 2019 by R.D.Dash

[Singe 2,109]

Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia hasn't come out of her room since Sunset Shimmer's biography came out.

Applejack: I haven't read it, so could you clue me in.

Twilight Sparkle: The book talks about Sunset's time as Celestia's student with not so nice criticism of her being a bad mentor and discarding Sunset quickly in no time after taking me on as her student. What idiot convinced Sunset it was a good idea to write this?

*On the other side of the mirror.*

Sunset Shimmer: Twilight, thank you for convincing me to write this book. I've really needed to get a lot off my chest.

Sci-Twilight: No problem. I've wanted to read about your backstory.

Edited June 5, 2019 by Singe

[Sparklefan1234 163,474]

21 hours ago, cuteycindyhoney said:

"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie..."

- Luna

 

Trixie: That's a Pinkie!  

[The MegaBrony 218]

Grogar (while blocking the Rainbow of Friendship with one hoof): Nice flashlight..(burns out said rainbow)

[RDDash 18,949]

Grogar: "Come out Princess Twilight! I know you can hear me."

Rainbow Dash slams into Grogar at high speed. Grogar traps her by encasing her wings into stone

Grogar: "Foolish child."

Chryssalis comes right next to them with a sword in her magic.

Grogar: "Finish her!"

Chryssalis slices Grogar's neck. Grogar proceeds to choke Chryssalis. Tirek watching in the distance.

Grogar: "How dare you to betray me!"

Twilight: "I should go, it's me he wants."

Starlight: "You can't. If you go it will be all over."

Grogar: "Princess! Is this what you want? To trade your life for others?"

____________

Bonus points if you understood the reference. 

Edited June 5, 2019 by R.D.Dash
Minor edits

[The MegaBrony 218]

Trixie: We're done here! (rips out Grogar's literal heart of darkness with her hoof)

[CypherHoof 26,480]

<young six use the reborn Elements to turn Grogar to stone>

Sandbar: With The Power of friendship we have truely saved all of.... Wait, spike, what are you doing with that sledgehammer?

Spike: making another rock garden. Why do you think Gorgar couldn't bring the Storm King back too?

[RDDash 18,949]

Twilight Sparkle: "I am the Princess of Friendship!" rings Grogar's bell, Grogar turns into dust.

[Sparklefan1234 163,474]

*The final day before the thousandth year begins, signaling Nightmare Moon's arrival*

 

Twilight Sparkle: 

 

"Legend has it that on the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape, and she will bring about nighttime eternal!" 

 

Pinkie Pie: "Good thing we're only in the 999th year, huh?"  

Edited June 7, 2019 by Sparklefan1234

[The MegaBrony 218]

Twilight (after using up all her energy to eliminate Grogar): Trixie, Starlight, can you hear me? My energy is almost all spent. I can't... stay in this world... much longer. Trixie, Starlight... I want to leave this world in your care. The threat disharmony represents has not left this world. I want you... to protect ponies and other magical creatures. Trix...Star... You can do it... You... can...(her body goes limp and her spirit floats up)  

[RDDash 18,949]

🎵 My Little Earth pony My Little Earth pony🎵

Twilight: "What the hay? Wait, why do I care?"

Applejack: "Speak for yourself no one wants my countryisms anymore"

Edited June 9, 2019 by R.D.Dash

[Singe 2,109]

Twilight Sparkle: Now that the elements of harmony have passed on to the next generation...

Rainbow Dash: We're free. So long losers. *Flies away.*

Twilight Sparkle: What was that about?

Applejack: That would be our obligation to you being over. Now if you excuse me, I have a farm and family to care for. Good bye. *Leaves.*

Twilight Sparkle: Wait I thought we were friends?

Rarity: We were, actually more like your lackeys that did whatever you wanted. Now that the fate of Equestria is someone else's problem, I can resume being a greedy business pony. No more profits for the needy. Ta-ta. *Leaves.*

Twilight Sparkle: What about you Pinkie we're still friends?

Pinkie Pie: Yeah, I don't do friends. They've always been clients. I've been wanting to expand my party business into more mature targets but the kid friendly image I had to keep up being around you was killing me. I'm off to hire some ponies to pop out of cakes. *Leaves.*

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy?

Fluttershy: Feather off. *Leaves.*

Twilight Sparkle: What a bunch of jerks.

 

Starlight Glimmer: You can't tell me what to do. I tell you what to do.

 

Sunset Shimmer: Give me the crown or I'll destroy the portal.

Twilight Sparkle: No you won't. You're just bluffing.

Sunset Shimmer: *Smashes the portal.* I'm not playing games.

Twilight Sparkle: She...she actually did it. *Faints.*

Edited June 9, 2019 by Singe

[RDDash 18,949]

Rarity: "What the heyburgers am I doing?I will order pre-aprooved designs into mass production. We are going to modernize the fashion industry. Thank you Sassy Saddles."

Sassy "Uh your welcome"

***

Applejack: "That's it I am moving to the big city and we are selling the farm."

***

Twilight: "Flim and Flam bought us for exorbitant amount of bits. I don't know if you realise it but it's very difficult to maintain a school with only six students."

***

Fluttershy. "That really nice Rainbow Dash, but it will be 19 bits for the tortoise. I have a business to run."

***

Pinkie Pie: "I was about to sing a song but changed my mind"

Rarity "What is it about, deary?"

Pinkie: "Well,..."

Edited June 10, 2019 by R.D.Dash
Pinkie Pie singing a wrecking ball parody would probably be to much

[Singe 2,109]

Spike: Rarity. What happen to your mane and tail?

Rarity: Glad you asked. I wanted to sew the ultimate garment made using the threads from me and all this just for you.

Spike: This is weird, but I can never say no if it's from Rarity.

 

Rarity: Upper class society has gone down hill since the peasants wanted to be included and the pitch diversity makes us better was a complete lie.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Without magic I don't know how to do anything.

Starlight Glimmer: Here you can still help me research for a way to fix this.

Twilight Sparkle: Um.....

Starlight Glimmer: Let me guess. You don't know how to read and used magic to shortcut your way in life.

Twilight Sparkle: Yes.

 

Wind Rider: Oh you thought what I did was wrong Rainbow Dash. Just you wait, one day you'll be older and weaker like me. Then a new rookie upstart will break your records and erase your legacy from the Wonderbolts history books. You think you'll always be the only one who can do a Sonic Rainboom, there will always be flyer better than you. Given time you'll see it my way one day.

 

Pinkie Pie: Morning, pastor pony.

Pastor Pony: Morning Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie Pie: Remember to keep your hooves to yourself around those colts.

Pastor Pony: Stop saying that!

 

Vice Principal Luna: I am so ashamed of you two. Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle getting into a fight over the prom princess. This is ridiculous. As of now, I'm revoking the title of princess of the prom from the both of you and you will be suspended. 

 

Twilight Sparkle: It's just you and us Sunset.

Rainbow Dash: Let's rip out her hair.

Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash!

Rainbow Dash: Fine, we'll let you keep those curls.

 

Edited June 10, 2019 by Singe

[The MegaBrony 218]

Trixie: I won't be available for most of Mega Mare Trix7. Sunburst gets most of the spotlight instead.

[RDDash 18,949]

Applejack: "My parents are not dead!"

Twilight: "But Faust said"

Applejack: "Who cares what Faust said, she is not here anymore.

"Look Twi, if the God Emperor Goldner would will it so my parents would magically pop in existence like your brother did in season two."