Laughter Lounge!

[Stardust* 3,302]

These days the media and news is filled with sadness and anger.

 

In times like these we need to be spreading joy and laughter! Thus... this thread!

 

Tell any joke or show any clip or video or picture you want, a classic, one you made up, or one you know you always get a laugh with! All jokes and visuals are welcome! (please keep them clean though, at least as much as possible, no NSFW content)

 

This needs to be a safe place where any and all ages can come and have a good laugh! I'll start with the few that I have already posted around.

 

_____________________________________________

 

What do you call a fake noodle?

 

 

An impasta!

 

 

Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?

 

 

Because she will Let it go!

 

 

What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?

 

 

Guardians of the Galaxy!

 

 

Where do bees go to the bathroom?

 

 

The BP station!

 

 

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?

 

 

Bamboo!

 

 

_________________________________________________

 

 

So, let's hear it! Give us your best jokes! Let's get some honest to goodness laughter and joy spreading around the interwebs!

Edited July 20, 2016 by Stardust*

[MickeyAdaptus 2,211]

I don't know that many good jokes, but this will deffitnily make people laugh xD https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moNb7w32XQc&ab_channel=byMineus

 

(might contain language that isn't proper for people under 12 years old, just giving a headsup for those who are under that age)

Edited July 20, 2016 by Mickey Adaptus

[Kronos the Revenant 1,971]

What do you call a magical owl?

 

 

Hoodini

 

 

Knock knock

 

 

Hoo's there?

 

 

HOOdini

 

 

 

I remember my dad's side of the family. They're a rowdy and funny bunch. I have uncles that are just a year older than me, heck even uncles that are just 7 years old. I have this one uncle in particular. His real name is Julius, but thanks to his older sister, Alexis, we all call him "Baldo", even though ironically, he has a full head of hair. Some of us call him "Blado", which is more fitting cuz he's fat.

Edited July 20, 2016 by Kronos

[Jackie Snack 1,498]

A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre.

 

He gives it to her.

[Kronos the Revenant 1,971]

A man walked into a bar. He woke up at the hospital three days later.

[DubWolf 17,257]

This video always gives me some lulz :-p .

 

What can be funnier and cuter than a cat eating corn?... with a bib ?

 

 

Also this should be moved to the forum lounge .

[Kronos the Revenant 1,971]

I've heard that the best way to open up a comedy act is to make fun of yourself first before making fun of other people. Oh boy, where do I even begin with myself. Well, for starters, I'm socially awkward. I'm also mentally ill having been diagnosed with ADHD, although now that I think about it, I may also have a case of--wait, what was that? What was I saying? Oh yeah, I was making fun of myself. So, how else can I talk crap about myself? Well, I do feel like I have a very bad lack of ambition. You ever have that feeling where you're like "I wanna do that" and then all of a sudden you try it and then you think "What the heck was I thinking? Why did I wanna do this?" I gotta be honest, I'm jealous of my little brother. That little twerp is five years younger than me, and yet he's basically a Me 2.0. When I say Me 2.0, I mean that he's done everything I've done, as in cleaned up around the house, screwed up at school, pissed off our mom, he did all of that and so much more. He has more friends than I have. His grades are better than mine. He even managed to build his own computer, and at 14 freaking years old!! How many 14-year-olds can say that they've built a computer for themselves? Don't answer that, you'll just make me feel worse. Anyways, back to my little twerp, I mean brother. The one thing that he has that I wish that I had was his ambition. He has much more ambition than I have at the moment and like I said before, he's only 14. He managed to make three or four of his own little games with this program he got on his high-end computer. I'm honestly really jealous of my little brother, and I hate feeling that way. It should be the other way around. Then again, I am the socially awkward wierdo that grew up thinking that no one wants to talk to him, so what am I complaining about, right?

[Stardust* 3,302]

This makes me laugh no matter how many times I watch it!!!! Oh my gosh! Hilarious!!!!!!

 

[Troblems 5,617]

Hi @@Stardust*, 

 

Because this thread errs on the silly side, it's being moved to the Lounge. But first, because I'm so classy, a fart joke.

 

What did one ancient Egyptian say to the other ancient Egyptian when they both farted? 

 

We have a Tutanchamun

 

I'mma go now. That was terrible.

 

 

 

[Stardust* 3,302]

Thank you for moving it, after posting I was unsure if I should have even placed it in the general discussion lol. 

 

Also, everypony loves a good fart joke!! LOL yours was great!

_________________________________

 

Why are pirates called pirates?

 

 

Because they Arrrrrrrr!

 

[Vampira Heart 920]

Mom:how was school?

Son:GREAT We made explosives today!

Mom:cool so what are you doing at school tomorrow?

Son:what school?

~~~~~~~~

When I see lovers names carved into a tree I don't think it's cute I think it's crazy someone brings a knife with them in a date

~~~~~~~~

Knock knock

Who's there?

Gorilla

Gorilla who?

Gorilla me a burger I'm hungry

~~~~~~~~

Jokes about unemployed people aren't funny......they just don't work anymore

~~~~~~~~

Jokes about the eldery aren't funny either their just too old and confusing

~~~~~~~~

A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!"

 

The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"

 

lol sorry I posted so many XD I hope you all like them :3

[Stardust* 3,302]

@@Vampira Heart,

 

Those are great!!

 

What do you call an old snowman?

 

 

Water!!!

 

[Vampira Heart 920]

@@Vampira Heart,

 

Those are great!!

 

What do you call an old snowman?

 

 

Water!!!

 

Lol thanks and nice Edited August 8, 2016 by Vampira Heart

[Whirlwind 1,055]

If Princess Luna were a patient at a mental asylum 

What would she be called???

 

A Lunatic!

 

[Prospekt 11,018]

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

 

It was outstanding in its field.

 

 

Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?

 

It's pointless!

 

 

Why did the clock go back four seconds?

 

It was hungry!

 

 

And finally, some pony jokes:

Maud Pie managed to beat Rainbow Dash in a race! How is this possible?

 

She was using a rocket.

 

 

Who is Rarity's favorite celebrity?

 

Ellen DeGenerous

 

[Stardust* 3,302]

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

 

It was outstanding in its field.

 

 

This one made me laugh so hard I snorted! LOL Brilliant!!! 

 

Knock! Knock!

 

Who's there?

 

 

Britney Spears.

 

 

Britney Spears who?

 

 

Knock, Knock

 

 

Who's there?

 

 

Oops, I did it again!

 

[Solid 1,327]

[Stardust* 3,302]

Gotta love Iruka's ultimate jutsu.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GK5fAXnQ1nc

Bahahahahha!! That is hilarious!!!!!

 

This one still makes me laugh!!! Hahah! Oh Kakashi!

 

https://youtu.be/_FlsrHg0Qi8

[Tarnation 142]

i don't know if this is counted? but watch it it is not mine.

https://youtu.be/Na-DmkUEdoo

[FluffyGoat13 375]

Most of my jokes are dark and very innappropriate....

 

....hmmm, but I do have some bear puns...

....but they're pretty unbearable and prone to turning people's attitudes quite grizzly, often polarising their opinion of me.

Edited August 24, 2016 by FluffyGoat13

[God Of The Void 296]

A Jewish man and a Chinese man walk into a bar and start to drink. Suddenly, out of nowhere, The Jewish man punches the Chinese man. The Chinese man says, "What was that all about?!" The Jewish man says, "I just remembered the bombing of Pearl Harbor!" The Chinese man says, "What the heck are you talking about?!" That was Japan!" The Jewish man says, "Chinese, Japanese, it's all the same to me." Then they continue drinking. Suddenly, out of nowhere, The Chinese man punches the Jewish man. The Jewish man says "Why did you do that?!" The Chinese man says, "I just remembered the sinking of the Titanic!" The Jewish man says, "What do you mean?! That was an iceberg!" The Chinese man says, "Iceberg, Goldberg, it's all the same to me."

[Whirlwind 1,055]

Political Joke:

 

It's so hot outside, 

I almost went to a Hillary Clinton rally

to be near something shady

[Kronos the Revenant 1,971]

There's this legend in the Philippines about this cliff where if you jump and say what you want to be or want to have, you'll become that thing or be in possession of said object.

 

So, there were three friends who were hiking up to this cliff, and they reached it.

 

The first friend ran and jumped, saying "I want to be the most powerful man in the world!!" and when he landed, he had the most ripped and toned muscles the world has ever seen.

 

The second friend ran and jumped, saying, "I want to be the most handsome man in the world!!" and when he landed, he had the most handsome, well-sculpted face and body that everyone loved and everyone wanted to look just like him.

 

The third friend, however, ran and tripped, saying, "I want to be--OH CRAP!!!" and became a pile of poop when he landed.

Edited August 29, 2016 by Kronos the Revenant

[Solid 1,327]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=vLoU2vKFFYw

[DubWolf 17,257]

Is this .... the right place?

 

 

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

 

 

Well it /is/ the laughter lounge .