open Equestrian Cafe

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@@asdfmovienerd39, Crystal looked at him, he did say she would make good show biz. "You did say that, but I thought it was sarcasm." She explained, wanting to sip more coffee, but she'd drunk it all. "Do you guys offer refills?" She asked pushing the empty coffee mug forward. "If you do, I'd like some more coffee."

 

"Kid, I only use sarcasm when on Wednesdays, Fridays, and non-religious holidays." Deadpan chuckled. "Sarcasm's really only funny in small doses. And usually only works when you got an idiot to bounce off of. And you're about as far from an idiot as you can get. And yeah, we do." Deadpan grinned as he just put the coffee cup under the counter then lifted it up and handed it back to Crystal, the cup somehow getting full.

[FanOfManyShows 396]

@@asdfmovienerd39, Crystal chuckled, seemed like he was funny again. He had mentioned there about her being far from an idiot, she smiled at his, compliment. "Thanks." She took the coffee mug, the thanks going for both the compliment and coffee, a blue aura surrounding the mug as she levitated the mug to herself. "So..." She wanted to keep talking, but topics were running short. "You didn't seem to react that dramatically when I meanted that I write the Shadow Spade series earlier."

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@@asdfmovienerd39, Crystal chuckled, seemed like he was funny again. He had mentioned there about her being far from an idiot, she smiled at his, compliment. "Thanks." She took the coffee mug, the thanks going for both the compliment and coffee, a blue aura surrounding the mug as she levitated the mug to herself. "So..." She wanted to keep talking, but topics were running short. "You didn't seem to react that dramatically when I meanted that I write the Shadow Spade series earlier."

 

"....Would it offend you if I told you I never heard o' that before? What is that, some sort of Carmen Sandiago parody?" Deadpan asked, his voice sounding genuinely curious and not at all sarcastic in the slightest. He really had no idea what this 'Shadow Spade' series was.

[FanOfManyShows 396]

@@asdfmovienerd39, Crystal wasn't to shocked, or offended, she showed it. There was a 'I've heard that before' expression on her face. "It's a mystery book series, I've only heard of two ponies who've read it, maybe three if I count Twilight Velvet." She explained with a shrug, sipping her coffee. "There's probably a copy of it in one of the Canterlot libraries here."

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@@asdfmovienerd39, Crystal wasn't to shocked, or offended, she showed it. There was a 'I've heard that before' expression on her face. "It's a mystery book series, I've only heard of two ponies who've read it, maybe three if I count Twilight Velvet." She explained with a shrug, sipping her coffee. "There's probably a copy of it in one of the Canterlot libraries here."

 

"Well this ain't Canterlot. The closest down is Ponyville." Deadpan explained with a grin on his face as he continued drinking some of his coffee. Truthfully he felt bad for not knowing what 'Shadow Spades' is, or was. Although that wasn't showing on his face.

[FanOfManyShows 396]

@@asdfmovienerd39, Crystal looked up at him, she hadn't known of the libraries here, she was just here for a visit. That and try out new cafes. "Oh, right." She sipped her coffee. "I hadn't explored the town here much. I didn't spot a library." She turned around to the window behind her. "Well, there was that one library I used to go to here in Ponyville. But Tirek destroyed it." She said with a sigh, turning around to Deadpan. "Thinking about it, I haven't yet signed anything that allows me to sell it here." She shrugged after saying that looking down to her coffee. "Well, Canterlot is a good enough place to sell things." She looked up to Deadpan. "You should try to grab a lot there. It'd help your business."

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@@asdfmovienerd39, Crystal looked up at him, she hadn't known of the libraries here, she was just here for a visit. That and try out new cafes. "Oh, right." She sipped her coffee. "I hadn't explored the town here much. I didn't spot a library." She turned around to the window behind her. "Well, there was that one library I used to go to here in Ponyville. But Tirek destroyed it." She said with a sigh, turning around to Deadpan. "Thinking about it, I haven't yet signed anything that allows me to sell it here." She shrugged after saying that looking down to her coffee. "Well, Canterlot is a good enough place to sell things." She looked up to Deadpan. "You should try to grab a lot there. It'd help your business."

 

"Psh, that frou-frou fancy posh town full o' unicorns with their heads so far up their own flanks they walk like they haven't taken a crap in three weeks? Trust me, they're about as far from my kinda food as they can get." he rambled. Obviously he had a...disdain for Canterlot, putting it lightly. "Plus, it's way too expensive. I mean, who in their right mind would pay thousands of bits for a single block of cheese covered in orange goop with one garnish put on top? I sure wouldn't."

[FanOfManyShows 396]

@@asdfmovienerd39, Crystal looked offended, and unsure how she should react to that. She just let some awkward silence fall upon the two, for a full minute. "I'm from Canterlot." She said bluntly, sipping her coffee, whilst giving him a stern stare. She put her coffee mug down. "Being from there, I can understand why they act uptight, a pony like you; Can't." She took another sip of her coffee. "It can be expensive though, my business is run from my home. making it less expensive than renting an empty lot." She let out a sigh, before sipping her coffee again, she'd already started to notice she was running out of it. "In hindsight, I wouldn't considered it to recommend it solely because of how expensive it is."

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@@asdfmovienerd39, Crystal looked offended, and unsure how she should react to that. She just let some awkward silence fall upon the two, for a full minute. "I'm from Canterlot." She said bluntly, sipping her coffee, whilst giving him a stern stare. She put her coffee mug down. "Being from there, I can understand why they act uptight, a pony like you; Can't." She took another sip of her coffee. "It can be expensive though, my business is run from my home. making it less expensive than renting an empty lot." She let out a sigh, before sipping her coffee again, she'd already started to notice she was running out of it. "In hindsight, I wouldn't considered it to recommend it solely because of how expensive it is."

 

"....Oh. Sorry. In all honesty, I'm probably a bit biased against it 'cause one of my four ex marefriends lives there and she's the only one that I caught cheating on me. So it's probably just bitterness from past relationships. That said, they could learn to loosen up a little. Not you though, you're actually pretty cool." Deadpool smiled sheepishly. "Plus you gotta  admit their food sucks."

[FanOfManyShows 396]

@@asdfmovienerd39, Crystal smiled, that lightened things up a bit. "Wait, really?" She asked backing up from the counter. "Holding down an entire city, because your Ex lives there?" She said with a chuckle. "I don't hold it down because a stalker lives there." She said sipping her coffee, she put it down, now an empty mug. "He's in prison now." She said rather casually. "And yeah, the food there is terrible from what I've tasted." She said, pausing to sip her coffee, then realizing it was empty. "I'm curious, are all these refills free? Or is it adding to my bill?" She asked pushing the mug forward,

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@@asdfmovienerd39, Crystal smiled, that lightened things up a bit. "Wait, really?" She asked backing up from the counter. "Holding down an entire city, because your Ex lives there?" She said with a chuckle. "I don't hold it down because a stalker lives there." She said sipping her coffee, she put it down, now an empty mug. "He's in prison now." She said rather casually. "And yeah, the food there is terrible from what I've tasted." She said, pausing to sip her coffee, then realizing it was empty. "I'm curious, are all these refills free? Or is it adding to my bill?" She asked pushing the mug forward,

 

"Hmm..." Deadpan stroked his chin with his hoof, as if thinking. It took a few minutes, but he finally gave an answer. "Nah, I ain't gonna charge ya for more of a drink you've already ordered. So...free. Don't get carried away now, if you order something different that WILL affect your bill."

[FanOfManyShows 396]

@@asdfmovienerd39, Crystal smirked. "So if I ordered another cup of coffee, instead of a refill. It'd count to my bill?" She thought aloud, sounded weird to say, then again, having free refills still had it's grey areas for whether or not it was priced. "Interesting." She looked at her empty coffee mug. "I think I've had enough coffee to be honest." She pushed the mug further ahead, not too much, knowing that may cause it to fall. She turned around. "I'm also running out of things to talk about..." She gave the menu a look over one last time, wanting to try some more things. "Many of these things on the menu, I've had before from Ponyville and Canterlot restaurants. What makes them different here?" She internally sighed in relief, something to talk about, although it Might not last long as a subject.

Edited December 15, 2016 by Lloyd

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@@asdfmovienerd39, Crystal smirked. "So if I ordered another cup of coffee, instead of a refill. It'd count to my bill?" She thought aloud, sounded weird to say, then again, having free refills still had it's grey areas for whether or not it was priced. "Interesting." She looked at her empty coffee mug. "I think I've had enough coffee to be honest." She pushed the mug further ahead, not too much, knowing that may cause it to fall. She turned around. "I'm also running out of things to talk about..." She gave the menu a look over one last time, wanting to try some more things. "Many of these things on the menu, I've had before from Ponyville and Canterlot restaurants. What makes them different here?" She internally sighed in relief, something to talk about, although it Might not last long as a subject.

 

"What makes it different is that it's actually good ​and worth eating. It's not some overprocessed dried out piece of garbage they pass off as food. Actual time and effort is put into makin' the food here. At least, that's what I heard from one of the critics after they tried some o' Zen's cooking. Despite getting four and a half stars, still nobody comes to this place though." Deadpan rambled, getting lost in the topic. This happened a lot.

[FanOfManyShows 396]

@@asdfmovienerd39, Crystal shrugged. "Eh, at least you got me, a millionaire mystery book writer, willing to pay, some, money." She looked at Deadpan. "I can get use my support to recommend places like this, which from the food's taste, I would." She said looking at Deadpan with a smile. "Most of my fans that I know of work or live in Canterlot, so they'd enjoy a change of flavor in the food." She looked up at the menu. "Especially since it tastes bad." She looked to Deadpan, leaning on the counter using a hoof as a support. "I think I'd like to try one of those Hayburgers that you guys make."

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@@asdfmovienerd39, Crystal shrugged. "Eh, at least you got me, a millionaire mystery book writer, willing to pay, some, money." She looked at Deadpan. "I can get use my support to recommend places like this, which from the food's taste, I would." She said looking at Deadpan with a smile. "Most of my fans that I know of work or live in Canterlot, so they'd enjoy a change of flavor in the food." She looked up at the menu. "Especially since it tastes bad." She looked to Deadpan, leaning on the counter using a hoof as a support. "I think I'd like to try one of those Hayburgers that you guys make."

 

"ZEN! WE GOT A HAYBURGER ORDER" Deadpan shouted. Zen nodded and teleported into the kitchen, then came back a few minutes later with a hayburger. "The Hayburger is Zen's specialty. She's REALLY good at 'em, trust me." he smiled.

 

"Deadpan, don't build them up like that. They aren't THAT great..." Zen smiled sheepishly, clearly not used to being the topic of a conversation, much less one of appraisal.

 

"C'mon, don't beef ​yourself up about it, Zen, your burgers are amazing!" Deadpan grinned.

[FanOfManyShows 396]

@@asdfmovienerd39, An audible slap could be heard, from Crystals hoof contacting her face. She didn't want to hurt his feelings again, so she didn't say a word about the pun, but it was probably obvious. "Yeah, plus I can give you the approval of that." Crystal added, trying not to wince at Deadpans joke, she looked to Deadpan. "Actually, if she bakes that..." She looked over the menu. "What do you help bake?" She asked pointing to Deadpan.

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@@asdfmovienerd39, An audible slap could be heard, from Crystals hoof contacting her face. She didn't want to hurt his feelings again, so she didn't say a word about the pun, but it was probably obvious. "Yeah, plus I can give you the approval of that." Crystal added, trying not to wince at Deadpans joke, she looked to Deadpan. "Actually, if she bakes that..." She looked over the menu. "What do you help bake?" She asked pointing to Deadpan.

"The pies, mainly..." Deadpan explained, the hurt look on his face clearly giving away he heard Crystals facehoof.

 

"Oh dear. He already has such an oddly low self esteem, yet he hides it with jokes and quips. Yet it seems he's a tad more...apparent when his jokes don't land as opposed to when everyone is laughing." Zen explained.

[FanOfManyShows 396]

@@asdfmovienerd39, Crystal looked worried. "Come on." She looked at the counter. "Again?" She mumbled quietly to herself, it was almost too much, but, she was still there; she could do something about it, again. She took a deep breath in, and out. "Deadpan, if you truly want to be an artist, you have to be able to withstand all forms of critique." She let out a sigh. "Even destructive critique." She sighed with a disappointed groan following it, she slumped onto the table at the realization that what she said was destructive critique. "I won't speak anymore about your jokes, it's clearly not helping anypony." She was currently in a state rarely seen by the public, she felt really bad for ruining Deadpans jokes, twice, but she saw them as bad, and he took that as way more than it was. She let out a sigh, sitting upright looking down at the counter, waiting for her food to arrive, patiently.

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@@asdfmovienerd39, Crystal looked worried. "Come on." She looked at the counter. "Again?" She mumbled quietly to herself, it was almost too much, but, she was still there; she could do something about it, again. She took a deep breath in, and out. "Deadpan, if you truly want to be an artist, you have to be able to withstand all forms of critique." She let out a sigh. "Even destructive critique." She sighed with a disappointed groan following it, she slumped onto the table at the realization that what she said was destructive critique. "I won't speak anymore about your jokes, it's clearly not helping anypony." She was currently in a state rarely seen by the public, she felt really bad for ruining Deadpans jokes, twice, but she saw them as bad, and he took that as way more than it was. She let out a sigh, sitting upright looking down at the counter, waiting for her food to arrive, patiently.

 

"Oh no, I can handle critique. " Deadpan mumbled. "Just sayin' something's bad or facehoofing at it is ​not ​critique." he frowned and had a somewhat angry look on his face as Zen handed her the Hayburger.

 

"Crystal, are you alright?" Zen asked,, clearly worried. She then looked over and saw the look on Deadpan's face. "Oh dear..."

[FanOfManyShows 396]

@@asdfmovienerd39, She looked at Zen, shaking her head a few times, as a no. "I'm not..." She looked at the hay burger, taking a bite out of the- "Mmm..." She smiled as she chewed, looked to Zen as she chewed her food up, swallowing with a gulp. "So, the food's great." She said, giving a complementing nod towards Zen. She knew as a change of topic, it wouldn't work, so she quickly set herself on track; "Um, Deadpan, I won't uh... Facehoof at your jokes either then." She spoke nervously, she looked at Zen. "To answer your question..." She paused to make sure Deadpan was listening. "I don't like hurting ponies feelings, but I hurt his." She said pointing to Deadpan. "So I feel bad about it."

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@@asdfmovienerd39, She looked at Zen, shaking her head a few times, as a no. "I'm not..." She looked at the hay burger, taking a bite out of the- "Mmm..." She smiled as she chewed, looked to Zen as she chewed her food up, swallowing with a gulp. "So, the food's great." She said, giving a complementing nod towards Zen. She knew as a change of topic, it wouldn't work, so she quickly set herself on track; "Um, Deadpan, I won't uh... Facehoof at your jokes either then." She spoke nervously, she looked at Zen. "To answer your question..." She paused to make sure Deadpan was listening. "I don't like hurting ponies feelings, but I hurt his." She said pointing to Deadpan. "So I feel bad about it."

"My food isn't THAT great..." Zen gave a small smile, "And oh my...You really facehoofed at one of his jokes? Well then, I hope you weren't warming up to him. He really, REALLY does not like it when ponies do that." she sighed as she explained.

 

"Psh, it's whatever." Deadpan rolled his eyes, sounding slightly angrier than his usual jovial tone.

[FanOfManyShows 396]

@@asdfmovienerd39, Crystal looked at Deadpan, with worrisome eyes. "Yeah, I was warming up to him. But I don't like lying, so..." She gave a pause there. "I wanted to tell the truth about your joke, but, you took it harshly." She took a bite out of what was left of the hayburger, making sure it was eaten before she spoke. "Although you had a right to do so, I was being blunt. For a rather simple joke." She looked at her empty hooves. She had extra money, still, she did have a lot of bits, so she could buy some more food. "And I only used your joke earlier to cheer you up." She let out a sigh. "But it didn't work." She looked up at Deadpan. "Anyways... At the mention of it, I would like to try that pie."

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@@asdfmovienerd39, Crystal looked at Deadpan, with worrisome eyes. "Yeah, I was warming up to him. But I don't like lying, so..." She gave a pause there. "I wanted to tell the truth about your joke, but, you took it harshly." She took a bite out of what was left of the hayburger, making sure it was eaten before she spoke. "Although you had a right to do so, I was being blunt. For a rather simple joke." She looked at her empty hooves. She had extra money, still, she did have a lot of bits, so she could buy some more food. "And I only used your joke earlier to cheer you up." She let out a sigh. "But it didn't work." She looked up at Deadpan. "Anyways... At the mention of it, I would like to try that pie."

 

"Comin' right up." Deadpan rolled his eyes and walked off into the kitchen, then walked back to Crystal and handed her a pie. "Enjoy your food." he said, rather angrily, actually.

 

"Deadpan, not everyone is accustomed to your style of humor-"

 

"Oh cram it ya Liu Kang  rip-off."

[FanOfManyShows 396]

@@asdfmovienerd39, Crystal gasped quietly at Deadpan's reaction to that. "Wow." She levitated the fork down, scooping the pie up. "Just, wow." She ate the pie she had scooped up. "First time I've heard that." She chewed her food, realizing she was close to being full, for a first. She would have to just, talk, before leaving. She didn't want to leave on a bad note. "I think you need to just except I don't like the joke and move on." She said, taking her fork, scooping more pie up, eating it. "Since I can't explain why I don't like it, to make it not sound as harsh."  Another bite of the pie was taking by Crystal. "Also, the pie tastes rather good." She pointed the fork at Deadpan. "So you have that going for you."

Edited December 24, 2016 by Lloyd

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@@asdfmovienerd39, Crystal gasped quietly at Deadpan's reaction to that. "Wow." She levitated the fork down, scooping the pie up. "Just, wow." She ate the pie she had scooped up. "First time I've heard that." She chewed her food, realizing she was close to being full, for a first. She would have to just, talk, before leaving. She didn't want to leave on a bad note. "I think you need to just except I don't like the joke and move on." She said, taking her fork, scooping more pie up, eating it. "Since I can't explain why I don't like it, to make it not sound as harsh."  Another bite of the pie was taking by Crystal. "Also, the pie tastes rather good." She pointed the fork at Deadpan. "So you have that going for you."

 

"Gee, thanks. Totally makes me feel better that what I picked up as a casual hobby is better than what I got my cutie mark in." Deadpan rolled his eyes. "Like Zen said, I don't really like it when people just bash my jokes without givin' any constructive criticism."

 

"Deadpan, I understand that, but please calm down-"

 

"I said shut up, Zen. With all the psychic crap goin' on in your head I thought you'd pick up on that."