feedback Help With Two Story Ideas(One mlp related the other not)

[Tilgoreth 1,915]

The first idea is for a FlutterDash story. It's Valentines Day(pony equvalent) and Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy each want too get something else for the other person that shows how much they love them. Anyways I'm thinking that Spike maybe notices how Rainbow Dash feels. Maybe he he pokes fun at her a bit then decides too help find the perfect gift for Fluttershy, and then the CMC get involved. Maybe this story takes place after Hard Too Say Anything so the CMC are on a shipping high. Fluttershy does the same, except she doesn't have any help. Eventually Fluttershy can't find a gift that would represent how much Rainbow Dash means too her. She instead decides too teel Dash how much she means to her. And how without her she wouldn't be the person she is now. Before that Rainbow Dash would gove Fluttershy her gift, it would be somethi g that shows that Rainbow Dash actually cares and pays attention too what Fluttershy says. After that Fluttershy Would say "I love you Rainbow Dash" then they would kiss, and maybe the CMC and Spike would be watching. Then maybe a folloup story would be them tryi g too hide it from the other mane six and Starlight. 

 

The second story is a lot less straight forward. It also has nothing too do with mlp. Basically the story starts with a married lesbian couple. Jessica and Samantha(placeholder names) used too be bounty hunters. They traveld across the galxay and took any contract that payed the most. Eventually they got rich and settled down. Now they've been married for five years(they got married after they retired from being bounty hunters). But Samantha, the more level headed of the two, realizes that after five years of extravagence their nearly broke. 

Blth of them still being in their early twenties they decide too get back into it. Jessiace is ressitant at first, she also stopped her work because she became afraid of death. It isn't until they go and get their old crew back togther that she finnaly agrees.

It's also supposed too be a lot more comedic. And alot of the story relies on the relationship between Jessica and Samantha and how their marriage functions. Also apart of the story is thar Samantha used too be one of thebmost brillaint young doctors of her genration. And another part of that is that she was already a practicing doctor by the time she was sixteen. And she only started dating Jessiace when she was eigtheen, and married her when she was twenty one. So Jessica and Samantha are both very young still. 

Any help is apreciated.

[Valeska 184]

The best thing you can do is start writing. Anything in particular that you need help with?

[Tilgoreth 1,915]

On 6/11/2017 at 1:16 AM, Valeska said:

The best thing you can do is start writing. Anything in particular that you need help with?

Well for the FlutterDash story I am having trouble with charecterization and dialogue.

[Valeska 184]

Well characterization and dialogue should be fairly simple for Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. I suggest making a list of characteristics for both of the mares, and writing down common things they say. For example; Rainbow Dash talks with confidence and coolness vs Fluttershy talks with a quiet voice and lacks confidence. When it comes down to the actual dialogue, I would just write the gist of what you want them to say, then you can go back in and alter the word language to better fit the personality of the character.

I hope this helps. Let me know if anything I said is confusing or you still need help. 

Edited September 14, 2017 by Valeska

[Tilgoreth 1,915]

1 hour ago, Valeska said:

Well characterization and dialogue should be fairly simple for Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. I suggest making a list of characteristics for both of the mares, and righting down common things they say. For example; Rainbow Dash talks with confidence and coolness vs Fluttershy talks with a quiet voice and lacks confidence. When it comes down to the actual dialogue, I would just write the gist of what you want them to say, then you can go back in and alter the word language to better fit the personality of the character.

I hope this helps. Let me know if anything I said is confusing or you still need help. 

Okay I see what you mean. I think I will just write the story first then watch some mlp episodes and change the wording too things the charcters would actually say.