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United States Military vs Equestria's Royal Guards


Lucid_Nightlight

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Let's say for some weird reason, there's a portal acting as a border in or next to the United States, making this an Arena War. Somehow war breaks out, and you do NOT change forms when you enter. To give everyone a chance to use all their resources, let's say the portal is the size of hundreds to thousands of miles long. This'll be mostly a military war, so no Discord, Tirek, Mane 6, or any of that. Let's also say that the United States Air Force and Wonderbolts are in this too.

Who would win? The United States with it's technology or Equestria with it's magic?

Who would win and why?


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The U.S, we would just nuke the hell out of Equestria, sure the unicorns have their magic, but they would be overwhelmed rather quickly if we dropped multiple bombs on them at the same time :sunbutt:

Image result for nuclear bomb

The only chance Equestria would have at winning is if Celestia or Luna got directly involved in the fighting, which they may do, but it's still kinda unlikely simply because they wouldn't want their subjects to possibly loose their rulers in a bloody battle or whatnot 

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(edited)

This goes to the US military. Unless Starlight or the Rainbow-Powered Mane Six are involved, magic is useless against all our high-tech weapons and vehicles. And I wouldn't trust a single member of the Royal Guard to defend a lemonade stand. They're fucking useless.

Edited by KillerKingBakudan
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well i know this joke is stale by now but when tempest attacked, Canterlot lasted two minutes but with the guard they may have lasted three. so US wins no contest. besides machine guns beat spears any day.

but if we add the four gods they have on their side, plus six champions and a magical prodigy... than the US is boned... they will simply be left in the dark 

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Equestria doesn't have a military. The guard are glorified secret service. There are barley enough for one city. U.S. has soldiers in the 6 figure range at least. 

Plus the capitol city was successfully seized. In broad daylight. Three times. In roughly a year.

And that's ignoring the significant technological edge, massive economy and centuries of combat experience the country has, compared to Equestria's millennium of peace, mid-20th century tech (at best) and comparatively less industrialized infrastructure. 

However, keep in mind that either Luna or Celestia could wipe out all life on earth if they so chose. And last I checked, humanity didn't believe magic was real, let alone enough to have developed defenses against it. 

 

 

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Last I remember the guards got all tied up easily and it was no contest :maud: .

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Celestia and Twi where scared for going to war against the yaks, plus they where struggling with a bunch of brainwashed crystal horses in Sombra alternate timeline. What makes you think they stand a chance against a nation with advanced military training and weapons way out of their league? 

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Why is this even... Whatever.

The Royal Guards would not stand a chance. Even without nuclear weapons, the US would just blow them to smithereens. They have every kind of technological wonder weapon imaginable. And you're including the Air Force? Well then, bye bye Royal Guards and the rest of the Equestria army!

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(edited)

Royal guards are as useful as a toy soldier plastic toys. One simple rule is that all UN rules of modern warfare still apply. Humans are not savages, and that means no nukes, no inhumane weapons, and no war crimes.

Let's pretend that the ponies have guns, which they do. An outdated military vehicles, repurposed as party supplies.

Second of all it would take at least 2 jet fighters and a whole squad of artillery guns to kill a single full grown dragon. Good luck fighting a whole hoard of pissed of dragons that would really dislike humans shooting their guns at them.

Unless ponies are just dumb  equines who would just march  to their death into no man's land of landmines  and machine guns they will quickly learn to adopt and start to fight back with guerilla war tactics.

Oh and don't forget about the magic vs technology  and the pegasi have one clear advantage that no human has ever mastered yet, they can literally wipe the humans out with tornadoes, hurricanes and tsunamies, and then deep freeze them  into new nuclear winter.

Edited by R.D.Dash
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  • 2 years later...
  • 8 months later...

At least half of humanity would happily nuke/strip mine Equestria in a heartbeat. 

Now the canon Royal Guard couldn't guard a wet paper sack, as it would be unthinkable that the Mane Six/Twilight didn't get to miraculously save the day. They wouldn't stand a chance. The Wonderbolts might be able to last a few minutes longer, might and minutes being the keywords.

I can't remember exactly where but I vaguely recall reading an article or seeing a video where the creator(s) rip into Hasbro/DHX for their portrayal of the military. We get it it's not a show that requires GI Joe or Michael Bay action, we're not the target audience, and at the end of the day, Twilight and friends are still the main characters.

But would it have been too difficult to make the Guard/WB seem even remotely capable? Maybe it was funny the first time, but I think the only time we see the guard being more than shiny door-stops is in the Sombra alternate timeline episode. Even the Wonderbolts who get appreciatively more screentime throughout the series are treated as little more than sports jocks play-acting as military. 

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The US Military, for sure. Unless the royal guards from the crystal empire got involved and by some fluke manage hold them off, I highly doubt the Equestrian royal guard would stand a chance considering their track record.

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  • 1 year later...

America would win. Have you learned anything from the  2 world wars? The country that started it will lose!

 

USA Has neuclear bombs *sorry for the misspelling* which can destroy equestria. Friendship will not make USA lose. It will make equestria lose because most of America's military soldiers joined because they grew up loving the nation.

On 2018-05-04 at 6:16 PM, King of Canterlot said:

The U.S, we would just nuke the hell out of Equestria, sure the unicorns have their magic, but they would be overwhelmed rather quickly if we dropped multiple bombs on them at the same time :sunbutt:

Image result for nuclear bomb

The only chance Equestria would have at winning is if Celestia or Luna got directly involved in the fighting, which they may do, but it's still kinda unlikely simply because they wouldn't want their subjects to possibly loose their rulers in a bloody battle or whatnot 

Wrong. Equestria still would lose with Celestia too. Sure they may think about time but u.s soldiers fight day and night.

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On 2018-05-04 at 10:51 PM, kaiser5578 said:

well i know this joke is stale by now but when tempest attacked, Canterlot lasted two minutes but with the guard they may have lasted three. so US wins no contest. besides machine guns beat spears any day.

but if we add the four gods they have on their side, plus six champions and a magical prodigy... than the US is boned... they will simply be left in the dark 

No. Snipers could kill the ponies

On 2018-05-05 at 12:31 AM, Denim&Venöm said:

Equestria doesn't have a military. The guard are glorified secret service. There are barley enough for one city. U.S. has soldiers in the 6 figure range at least. 

Plus the capitol city was successfully seized. In broad daylight. Three times. In roughly a year.

And that's ignoring the significant technological edge, massive economy and centuries of combat experience the country has, compared to Equestria's millennium of peace, mid-20th century tech (at best) and comparatively less industrialized infrastructure. 

However, keep in mind that either Luna or Celestia could wipe out all life on earth if they so chose. And last I checked, humanity didn't believe magic was real, let alone enough to have developed defenses against it. 

 

 

This is wrong. Jesus Christ could destroy both by repelling them

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