mega thread How are you feeling?

[ZiggWheelsManning 10,212]

Having to eat dinner soon  

[Pandora 38,015]

Like I could be better, bad memories from the past made me cry and stay awake till 3 am because I was too distressed to sleep and today I still feel that damp mood.

[ZiggWheelsManning 10,212]

Gotta leave for work shortly  

[Verdant Shy 950]

20 hours ago, Starlightnyars said:

It’s totally okay to have some self doubts. Well from my experience- it definitely is a  process and there’s no singular moment where you will have every answer right away. Just trust in yourself and the experience you have to guide you on your journey. 

Great!

I have self evidence of being Trans, and it doesn't take a lot.

[Pandora 38,015]

slightly better after playing minecraft with rooster, it was fun and he got us a bear there and 3 horses. <3
worried about king since he's sick tho..

[Ice Princess Silky <3 13,809]

Like I really do sleep on a cloud. I need to climb down from here sometimes and appreciate the contrast of gravity. But it can be so painful at times.. there's just so much to do right now... why not just sleepily snooze on a cloud as pegasi are known to do... just a few more hours and then I'll face the responsibilities of the non-floofy-cloud world <3 

(I never pressed "submit reply" to this hours ago?! XD ) *submits it now anyway* 
Even though I'm happy to start productiveness now ;~;

[Silverspark184 1,371]

I am excited that I have my bike yesterday hopefully I will ride it soon I bet it be like flying with my hair flying back 

[Guest]

Annoyed. Work surprisingly went at a glacial pace today. However, I have a lot of personal commitments here that have taken most of my time away and I have a headache now.

[Old Accnt. 3,149]

2 hours ago, Starlightnyars said:

Annoyed. Work surprisingly went at a glacial pace today. However, I have a lot of personal commitments here that have taken most of my time away and I have a headache now.

omg i swear this world will never give you a break with things 

I hope things will improve very soon for you I wish i could hug you!

[Old Accnt. 3,149]

I am a bit angry oh well better day tomorrow

[ZiggWheelsManning 10,212]

Small dosage of face burn due to shaving  

[Silverspark184 1,371]

Feeling like I wanna bite a head off a  chocolate bunny right about now making my mouth water thinking of it

Edited April 12, 2023 by Silverspark184

[ZiggWheelsManning 10,212]

1 minute ago, Silverspark184 said:

Feeling like I wanna bite a head off a  chocolate bunny right about now making my mouth water thinking of it

You have a bottle of soda to go with it?  

[They call me Loyalty 1,948]

Good. I was able to speak with my mother some more. To touch upon our problems. And she seemed agreeable at first, but now her migraines are back, and she is throwing up again.
She rejects herself, the same way it happens with me. Which is the reason I become so self-destructive during my episodes. It is not an illness of the mind. But the mind can be affected by the body, sometimes.

And it doesn't seem like it would affect someone this much, but it does.
So, we live our days in seclusion. It is a relationship driven by commiseration, for the most part. As well as some spite and bitterness, I believe.

In part because our family criticized her so much after she became pregnant with me. As if this "wasn't something she was supposed to do".
Actually, her own mother used to say that she wasn't her daughter. So, it makes me wonder whether my mother was actually adopted, and she never realized it. Because the genetic disorder had to come from somewhere, and her parents were rather healthy.
But that was the reason she was there when her mother was terminal, to say to her that she deserved to die from cancer. It was brutal, but perhaps deserved? I don't know.

Still, we have managed, in a very dysfunctional manner that involves regression. Since whenever I try to bring her to reality, she becomes irrational. It is not different with me.

And it is not different with the behaviour I have seen among some of the homeless. So, in a way. We are homeless with a home.
So, I am thankful to my family because of what they left to us. Because otherwise we would be on the streets. She was never functional, and neither am I.

But I needed to put this in context. Because there is a reason I talk with her about spirituality and faith, but sometimes it gets difficult to tell apart which is which and it can go too far.

Regardless, this is falling apart sooner or later. That is something I could see since childhood. And it is okay with me. I wanted to be a father and all the normal things a guy wants, but I am simply too weak. The same way she was too sickly to be a responsible mother.
Nothing to feel too bad about it. Since there is also great selfishness behind this intent of mine. A desire to watch this family burn to the ground. I am not different from her in that regard. I was never too different. Since I am her son, after all. And the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

Edited April 13, 2023 by They call me Loyalty

[ZiggWheelsManning 10,212]

Paid an uncomfortable price for downing a bottle of soda.  

[CocoCody 508]

9 minutes ago, ZiggWheelsManning said:

Paid an uncomfortable price for downing a bottle of soda.  

Oh dude I feel ya, I cut that stuff out my diet ages ago. It made me always feel wonky.

[CocoCody 508]

I just finished doing my parents tax's and I feel incredibly jubilant but also at the same time drained and tired.  Coco the tax man

Edited April 13, 2023 by CocoCody

[Ice Princess Silky <3 13,809]

1 minute ago, CocoCody said:

I just finished doing my parents tax's and I feel incredibly jubilant but also at the same time drained and tired.

Congrats on getting that out of the way! I know it can be stressful and annoying. Treat yourself to something lovely! You deserve the recharge.

As for me... goodness... I'm feeling all kinds of emotions right now. But also overwhelmed since there's a lot that I need to do c:

[Gone Airbourne 21,977]

Fairing better been pondering about alot lately. Just pondering about the future and what's to come.

[Savy 5,077]

Feeling pretty nostalgic right now. 

[ZiggWheelsManning 10,212]

51 minutes ago, Princess Silky said:

Congrats on getting that out of the way! I know it can be stressful and annoying. Treat yourself to something lovely! You deserve the recharge.

As for me... goodness... I'm feeling all kinds of emotions right now. But also overwhelmed since there's a lot that I need to do c:

Feeling a little disappointed since I didn't play much of Star Wars:  Battlefront II (2017)  

[Gone Airbourne 21,977]

@ZiggWheelsManning Oh the glorious Star Wars Battlefront II for the OG PS2/XBOX just recently played it split-screen coop with a friend with some of the Lego Star Wars games. The graphics for Star Wars Battlefront 2 (2017) to this day blow me away 

[Sophie 1,443]

Feeling extremely exhausted.. mentally.. not feeling myself.. having doubts and thoughts i really wish not to have.. 

[Tropical Melody 6,133]

13 hours ago, ZiggWheelsManning said:

Small dosage of face burn due to shaving  

Hate that when it happens. Nowadays I only do it like once a week, much fewer sores that way.

-

12 hours ago, CocoCody said:

Oh dude I feel ya, I cut that stuff out my diet ages ago. It made me always feel wonky.

I like Lucozade but it can make me hyper. Not a good idea before going to bed! I read somewhere very recently you shouldn't have more than about 180 ml or something of soda per day, that is any soda drink ...

 

[CocoCody 508]

15 hours ago, Princess Silky said:

Congrats on getting that out of the way! I know it can be stressful and annoying. Treat yourself to something lovely! You deserve the recharge.

As for me... goodness... I'm feeling all kinds of emotions right now. But also overwhelmed since there's a lot that I need to do c:

"You are just a pony,

You make mistakes from time to time

But now you know the real you

You put your heart on the line

And the magic in my heart stays true.

Just like the magic inside of you."

You have worth as a person.