Build a baddie

[Goat-kun 2,530]

Throughout the seasons we've witnessed brainless cowards who sought to abuse others in order to feel better about themselves. We've had egotistical despots who thought that they deserved more than they've been dealt. These are the offerings, but what is your ideal villain? Do they need a great, good cause they seek to reach regardless of their choice of means? Can their reasoning give birth to compelling arguments that give pause to the heroes? Maybe they are strange beyond the grasp of mortal minds. Or perhaps they are were made villains by cruelty of fate.

 

What kind of a villain would you make?

[SharpWit 2,719]

I like a variety of villains, but I think my favorites are those who do a single over the top act to prevent something worse from happening. Those who don't come off as evil to everyone but clearly follows an ends justify the means sort of logic, like Tywin Lannister from Game of Thrones. With a single act that becomes known as the Red Wedding, he has the majority of his immediate enemies killed overnight during what should have been a celebration of another house uniting against him. They were outright butchered, but it prevented him from losing thousands of more men and secured his hold of the south, while reestablishing order in the North.

Tywin has a reputation for being ruthless, but he's also constantly cleaning up after others.

He's also a bit like Frank Underwood from House of Cards in that he's not a good person but what he wants happens to be mutually beneficial so you turn a blind eye. Although I've hardly seen any of that show and he probably hides his deviancy behind that southern charm most of the time so I can't make a clear cut comparison.

Edited November 16, 2019 by SharpWit

[Megas 27,786]

I'd avoid making them a female unicorn "with a troubled past" so they won't end up redeemed

Edited November 16, 2019 by Kiryu-Chan

[Goat-kun 2,530]

20 hours ago, SharpWit said:

I like a variety of villains, but I think my favorites are those who do a single over the top act to prevent something worse from happening. Those who don't come off as evil to everyone but clearly follows an ends justify the means sort of logic, like Tywin Lannister from Game of Thrones. With a single act that becomes known as the Red Wedding, he has the majority of his immediate enemies killed overnight during what should have been a celebration of another house uniting against him. They were outright butchered, but it prevented him from losing thousands of more men and secured his hold of the south, while reestablishing order in the North.

Tywin has a reputation for being ruthless, but he's also constantly cleaning up after others.

He's also a bit like Frank Underwood from House of Cards in that he's not a good person but what he wants happens to be mutually beneficial so you turn a blind eye. Although I've hardly seen any of that show and he probably hides his deviancy behind that southern charm most of the time so I can't make a clear cut comparison.

To be fair, it was the treachery of Freys that made Red Wedding possible. Tywin may have been a pragmatic warlord, but it was his role as a father that spelled his doom.

 

Funny thing, I've always found ancient heroes to be quite exemplary villains. Odysseus was probably the best of the bunch. He even orchestrated the execution of his fellow hero who he framed with betrayal so that he may be the only smart advisor around. I don't think modern coffee-slurping urbanites can (or want to) capture the calculated war-forged minds of such characters in a show like FIM, even if they water them down. It is true that Nicole Dubuc was involved with Star Wars Rebels and thus the reintroduction of Grand Admiral Thrawn; however, his character has already been established by others. They only had to make sure not to screw him up or Fandom Menace would crucify them.

20 hours ago, Kiryu-Chan said:

I'd avoid making them a female unicorn "with a troubled past" so they won't end up redeemed

You know, I would make an irredeemable horned pony "light mage" villain just to teabag FIM Friendship philosophy. It would be so worth it

 

But yeah, our glorious writers should stay far away from unicorns. And alicorns too, just to be on the safe side.

[SharpWit 2,719]

3 hours ago, Goat-kun said:

To be fair, it was the treachery of Freys that made Red Wedding possible. Tywin may have been a pragmatic warlord, but it was his role as a father that spelled his doom.

Walder Frey had valid reason to turn away the Northern Army when Robb broke his vows, and was known for being treacherous so he was fine taking the blame, but it was Tywin who planned everything out and approached the Freys and Roose Bolton. He left his signature with the Rains of Castamere.

God, Thrawn is such a good villain. He's the only reason other than the return of Ahsoka and Darth Maul that I've had any interest in that show.

[Rumpelstiltskin 45]

I've always been fascinated by devilish archetypes and villains playing on hero's weaknesses, be it using their worst fears against them, or tempting them with their desires, or a combination of both. I suppose I'd create something similar to Mr .Dark and his carnival from Something Wicked This Way Comes, a villain who subtly threatens people with their fears and offers to help them avoid the path to obliteration by giving them something that would seem to fix everything. An example from the book would be giving someone back their youth. A fine idea, to be sure, but no one thinks about everything that comes with it. You'd be giving up your friends and family, leaving them behind while you live on with your guilt of abandoning them for your own selfish and impulsive desire. So you go crawling back to the villain and beg, plead, for them to take it back and undo what they've done, and you've put yourself in their hands. That sort of villain who thrives on the suffering of short-sighted fools who jump at the chance to give up everything for nothing could be used against the other villains, like Tirek, Chrysalis, or Cozy, to maybe humanize them a bit. 

Another idea I've been toying around with is a tragic antagonist who's driven by depression and clinging to the only thing that gives them joy to the point where they're harming others through their apathy and neglect, sort of like King Haggard from The Last Unicorn. They aren't able to feel anything anymore except for a few brief moments when they can get at the thing that takes them back to a time when they were happy, using it like a narcotic to try and experience emotions they have't had in ages.  

[Early Sunsets 2,107]

I like a lot of different types of villains for different reasons, but my favorite (and I think what is the most common favorite) is the villain whose reasoning is actually relatable, rather than just being evil because they can or because they want to. Having a good reason to be evil always makes a villain at least ten times better (revenge and power are stereotypical, but they work fine). Villains who are evil because it's in their nature or it's what they were created to do are okay, but they're really only good enough to be an underling to the main villain imo.

[Kronos the Revenant 1,971]

What about a “villain” that tries to help others through rather morally questionable means, like peace through war. What I mean is like a person who’s not really a despot, but more of a tyrant in that they’re a powerful and ruthless general that’s looking after the well being of their people while using brutal methods that give the results he/she desires. 

Think of this scenario:

Land of peaceful citizens who don’t believe in a use of violence. 

Sudden stereotypically evil and overly powerful opposition takes over. 

Peace and reasoning doesn’t work against this new force. 

Outside help from a ruthless militant leader steps in and drives out opposition through brutal and violent means. 

Outside helper attempts to reinforce peaceful land by whipping them up into shape. 

 

 

Wait, this is almost sounding like To Change A Changeling. 

Edited November 19, 2019 by Kronos the Revenant

[Ittoni 538]

My perfect villain is just an incel-like someone, so just Chrysalis. I mean, not the type of incel that just feels sad and miserable about their situation and that's why they are bad or mean or why they think like they do, that's just sad but it's treatable, I mean the kind of incel-like mentality of the worst of the worst, a person that is hurt and it's sad but it's also angry, violent, uncaring, entitled, miserable, that has twisted their logic so bad that there's basically no way to help them of recover from it if it's not from a miracle because they have form a system where anything good equals bad and anything bad equals good and they try to justify it in their corrupted mind.

The first ones can be redeemed so to speak because their sadness can be healed if they open up enough, it's even hopeful and it makes me all warm and fuzzy because I understand what is like to be in a low point and have someone give you a chance. But the later ones, you can probably give them an opportunity or two or ten or a thousand, but if they are so stubborn not only to not change but to hurt others because you are being the better person then I have no problem on seeing them get what they deserve while they figure it out if they even do so. Give them the hammer over and over again.

It's like there's a limit to where something is redeemable, even if the villain in question might have their reasons and a sad past and are hurt and all that, that doesn't exempt them for what they do under their own mental spell, and I like that. They decided a path of action fully aware of the damage they will cause because that's a decision you have to do to cross that line from just thinking it to actually do it with an intention, therefore I like to see them get retribution for it and fail every time, I like to see how pathetic they become by their own actions. That's enjoyable.

Edited November 19, 2019 by Ittoni

[Goat-kun 2,530]

19 hours ago, Rumpelstiltskin said:

I've always been fascinated by devilish archetypes and villains playing on hero's weaknesses, be it using their worst fears against them, or tempting them with their desires, or a combination of both. I suppose I'd create something similar to Mr .Dark and his carnival from Something Wicked This Way Comes, a villain who subtly threatens people with their fears and offers to help them avoid the path to obliteration by giving them something that would seem to fix everything. An example from the book would be giving someone back their youth. A fine idea, to be sure, but no one thinks about everything that comes with it. You'd be giving up your friends and family, leaving them behind while you live on with your guilt of abandoning them for your own selfish and impulsive desire. So you go crawling back to the villain and beg, plead, for them to take it back and undo what they've done, and you've put yourself in their hands. That sort of villain who thrives on the suffering of short-sighted fools who jump at the chance to give up everything for nothing could be used against the other villains, like Tirek, Chrysalis, or Cozy, to maybe humanize them a bit.

I'm also interested in those absolute madlads who graciously accept such gifts. Griffith (Berserk) became one of the most notorious dark fantasy villains by accepting God Hand's offer.

18 hours ago, Booker said:

I like a lot of different types of villains for different reasons, but my favorite (and I think what is the most common favorite) is the villain whose reasoning is actually relatable, rather than just being evil because they can or because they want to. Having a good reason to be evil always makes a villain at least ten times better (revenge and power are stereotypical, but they work fine). Villains who are evil because it's in their nature or it's what they were created to do are okay, but they're really only good enough to be an underling to the main villain imo.

 

Yes, being relatable goes a long way, but it is quickly becoming a bit overrated. Kaiju are not relatable, but one can relate with others about the fact that these monsters are cool. Wonder, awe, fascination, these are the things that we can garner from their nature. Is Lord Sidious relatable? He's an evil and ugly old man who seeks unlimited power. But he's entertaining. That's why they brought him from the dead. Emo Ren with his tragic past and all his human struggles still cannot carry the crown of villainy the way Palpatine does.

18 hours ago, Kronos the Revenant said:

What about a “villain” that tries to help others through rather morally questionable means, like peace through war. What I mean is like a person who’s not really a despot, but more of a tyrant in that they’re a powerful and ruthless general that’s looking after the well being of their people while using brutal methods that give the results he/she desires.

Violence is the supreme authority from which all other authority is derived. Violence must be exercised against those who do not want to follow the rules of society as even forced imprisonment is a form of violence. It is often so that rules themselves separate heroes from villains, not the methods of punishment.

8 hours ago, Ittoni said:

My perfect villain is just an incel-like someone, so just Chrysalis. I mean, not the type of incel that just feels sad and miserable about their situation and that's why they are bad or mean or why they think like they do, that's just sad but it's treatable, I mean the kind of incel-like mentality of the worst of the worst, a person that is hurt and it's sad but it's also angry, violent, uncaring, entitled, miserable, that has twisted their logic so bad that there's basically no way to help them of recover from it if it's not from a miracle because they have form a system where anything good equals bad and anything bad equals good and they try to justify it in their corrupted mind.

The first ones can be redeemed so to speak because their sadness can be healed if they open up enough, it's even hopeful and it makes me all warm and fuzzy because I understand what is like to be in a low point and have someone give you a chance. But the later ones, you can probably give them an opportunity or two or ten or a thousand, but if they are so stubborn not only to not change but to hurt others because you are being the better person then I have no problem on seeing them get what they deserve while they figure it out if they even do so. Give them the hammer over and over again.

It's like there's a limit to where something is redeemable, even if the villain in question might have their reasons and a sad past and are hurt and all that, that doesn't exempt them for what they do under their own mental spell, and I like that. They decided a path of action fully aware of the damage they will cause because that's a decision you have to do to cross that line from just thinking it to actually do it with an intention, therefore I like to see them get retribution for it and fail every time, I like to see how pathetic they become by their own actions. That's enjoyable.

Wouldn't such a person just become a nihilist at the end? You would hit them over and over so they'd resign and start burning everything down for the heck of it. You'd create a Joker. It is the want to create such a character, or the want to create the circumstances where such a character can be created that interest me more than the character itself as these represent the building blocks for another type of villain mentioned in the first paragraph: God (Hand).

Edited November 19, 2019 by Goat-kun
destiny

[BornAgainBrony 2,398]

An enemy of the nation rather than an enemy of the philosophy. Not a question of if friendship is right or wrong, or the villain even has friends. Someone motivated by politics instead of feelings. A ruler of a foreign land looking to enslave, pillage resources, etc. He doesn't even need to have powers of his own. He has an army.

Storm King could have easily been this, but he was so darned incompetent, not to mention the goofiest villain in the entire FiM timeline.

[Goat-kun 2,530]

10 hours ago, BornAgainBrony said:

An enemy of the nation rather than an enemy of the philosophy. Not a question of if friendship is right or wrong, or the villain even has friends. Someone motivated by politics instead of feelings. A ruler of a foreign land looking to enslave, pillage resources, etc. He doesn't even need to have powers of his own. He has an army.

Storm King could have easily been this, but he was so darned incompetent, not to mention the goofiest villain in the entire FiM timeline.

It would be nice. It is truly a shame that FIM's messianic idea of Friendship doesn't permit such characters. You see, someone that wants to hurt others can't possibly be capable of friendship. That's heresy! Which is why the idea is so tempting.

[Sepul-Coloratura 762]

Whatever that makes a good story. But I think there has been too many villains in MLP, we should also discuss about what kind of villain shouldn't have existed. The typical villains like Tirek, Sombra, Pony of Shadows, etc. has been overused so many times. I'd prefer characters like Gilda, Moondancer, Cranky even it doesn't make the epic type of fights in the two parters, because I never asked for those. When you watch a show called "My Little Pony : Friendship is Magic", I'm pretty sure what I'm getting. I expect cute ponies learning about the magic of friendship. Nightmare Moon was a good example, because she fit the tone of the show.

[Goat-kun 2,530]

8 hours ago, Sepul-Coloratura said:

Whatever that makes a good story. But I think there has been too many villains in MLP, we should also discuss about what kind of villain shouldn't have existed. The typical villains like Tirek, Sombra, Pony of Shadows, etc. has been overused so many times. I'd prefer characters like Gilda, Moondancer, Cranky even it doesn't make the epic type of fights in the two parters, because I never asked for those. When you watch a show called "My Little Pony : Friendship is Magic", I'm pretty sure what I'm getting. I expect cute ponies learning about the magic of friendship. Nightmare Moon was a good example, because she fit the tone of the show.

Then riddle me this: why did we get those typical villains and which exact attributes make them more typical that the villains you approve off?

 

You won't answer, will you. Don't have to. I'll do it in your stead. Both the former and the latter group of villains are stereotypical; however, they belong in two different genres. First group belongs into action and adventure fantasy, the second one belongs into SOL where chances are they will be the main protagonists due to the fact that "bad" people are generally far more entertaining to watch than Mane 6.

 

So here are the pills: The octarine pill will port you to fantasy where main audience doesn't care about FIM's brand of Friendship, and the brown pill will port you into a sitcom where main audience doesn't care about friendship at all.

 

In other words: baddies are not being properly utilized, and you version of the show with FIM philosophy would be Littlest Pet shop. The canceled version. Hm, quite a villainous proposition!

[ShadOBabe 19,013]

I have zero problems with the fact that they kinda redeemed Ahuizotl, but I also loved his role as a bad guy.

• big
• loud
• crazy strong
• raging temper, occasionally offset by sass
• hammy with LOTS of big, boisterous, evil laughter
• bad for no other reason than it’s fun and they get stuff

I love these characters. They’re the kind of bad guy that looks at the more tragic, tortured, grumpy villains and yells, “Get over yourself, you whinging ninny!” before grabbing the nearest good guy and sticking them in a ridiculous death trap, cackling and stroking their pet cat.

I love it! *twirls mustache, wrings hands, and giggles*

Edited December 4, 2019 by JingLBabe

[Ittoni 538]

On 11/19/2019 at 4:38 PM, Goat-kun said:

Wouldn't such a person just become a nihilist at the end? You would hit them over and over so they'd resign and start burning everything down for the heck of it. You'd create a Joker. It is the want to create such a character, or the want to create the circumstances where such a character can be created that interest me more than the character itself as these represent the building blocks for another type of villain mentioned in the first paragraph: God (Hand).

Whatever the circumstances and consequences don't really matter because you can't do anything about them when it all conglomerates together to produce such a thing. It just things that can happen and do happen either provoked and fabricated or by pure luck, it's disappointing as a moral and humane person can perceive it to be but that's just it, unfortunate, no matter how bad you try to prevent it it will reappear, maybe you'll not see it yourself but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. It's the fatality of it, the notion that horrible things, as well as blessings, are immortal, infinite and balanced, always

[Rushing cash 836]

I enjoy many kind of villains, villains that are egotistical, vent on revenge and control with charisma(not a necessity though), villains that are for comedy(as long as they are still slightly threatening, like the hyenas in the lion king), some serious villains that give no nonsense, bossy villains etc...

Regarding their backstory, its not a necessity, I like many villains that have no backstory(like some mlp villains, scar and so on) if I like them or not will depend on their personality and what he does. Sometimes backstories damage the image of the villain, so it not always a good idea to have a backstory if you didn't plan something good(in shows like mlp a backstory usually means redemption even though I would loved to see a good villain with some cool backstory and not redeemed!). I love some down to earth villains(I really like many of the "minor" villains in mlp like suri poloamre and lightning dust), they don't need to be some monster(like discord or tirek) with crazy powers but they can be people with motives(selfish motives are great to, nothing wrong with wanting something for them even if it hurts the good guy) that clash with the heroes. Sometimes the bad things can come from the villain struggles, like in an OC I made https://www.deviantart.com/ifihaveit/art/Oc-Bellflower-flame-819613565  , a sad or realistic struggle doesn't have to end in a redemption either(I am okay with redemptions but it doesn't always work, like what if in the movie tempest tried to take all the power to herself in the end instead of being cheated by storm king or decided to repair her horn herself after he betrayed her).

I would liked if there was a villain similar to say starlight(a powerful magician, that seeks control but has an idea they want to achieve they believe is the right way, competent and take no nonsense from anyone) that brainwashed other characters(eventually the good guys to) slowly and put ideas in their minds so they unconsciously help her and having an epic role in the end, like taking magic from the princesses and becoming alicorn herself(not like cozy glow who became because of some stolen magic from a belle, but by reaching her goal slowly and interacting with some good characters along the way, make her maybe a little creepy too...  I went off topic a bit).  I prefer villains that are manipulative(like danglar in the count of monte cristo, the book that is) rather then just brute force or overpowered antagonists(like discord). 

 

[Goat-kun 2,530]

23 hours ago, Ittoni said:

Whatever the circumstances and consequences don't really matter because you can't do anything about them when it all conglomerates together to produce such a thing. It just things that can happen and do happen either provoked and fabricated or by pure luck, it's disappointing as a moral and humane person can perceive it to be but that's just it, unfortunate, no matter how bad you try to prevent it it will reappear, maybe you'll not see it yourself but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. It's the fatality of it, the notion that horrible things, as well as blessings, are immortal, infinite and balanced, always

Then would you offer yourself as a willing sacrifice for selfish ambitions of another? Or would you struggle? Would it even matter? With such convictions you'd be better off choosing the first option anyway.

[Ittoni 538]

21 minutes ago, Goat-kun said:

Then would you offer yourself as a willing sacrifice for selfish ambitions of another? Or would you struggle? Would it even matter? With such convictions you'd be better off choosing the first option anyway.

Why better or preferable? Wouldn't that make you one thing or the other? Both can be perfectly applicable at the same time, and I do. Sometimes you can just submit to other's will, sometimes you can fight against them for your own sake, and sometimes you allow things to happen to utilize them for selfish purposes. Rules are ideals, fantastic utopias. In reality there's anything and everything, because even if you choose a path to yourself there's always the other.

Edited November 23, 2019 by Ittoni

[Goat-kun 2,530]

2 hours ago, Ittoni said:

Why better or preferable? Wouldn't that make you one thing or the other? Both can be perfectly applicable at the same time, and I do. Sometimes you can just submit to other's will, sometimes you can fight against them for your own sake, and sometimes you allow things to happen to utilize them for selfish purposes. Rules are ideals, fantastic utopias. In reality there's anything and everything, because even if you choose a path to yourself there's always the other.

Yet your fate has already been sealed. You many not know the decision but the decision has already been made for you. Such is the way you have chosen. That which has wrapped the world in the tangled threads of destiny is the greatest villain of the story, not the mortal wretch. Don't you see it? The villain that hides within your wish.

[Ittoni 538]

22 hours ago, Goat-kun said:

Yet your fate has already been sealed. You many not know the decision but the decision has already been made for you. Such is the way you have chosen. That which has wrapped the world in the tangled threads of destiny is the greatest villain of the story, not the mortal wretch. Don't you see it? The villain that hides within your wish.

 

yes, and that applies for everything and everyone. No one is exempt. so what makes you think it can be any different or that we are bound to it or free from it if it's the definition of absolute? is not a defeat and let it happen is just let things be whatever they might be. Rebellion, conformity, fight, peace. Doesn't matter. you are free. 

[Goat-kun 2,530]

1 hour ago, Ittoni said:

yes, and that applies for everything and everyone. No one is exempt. so what makes you think it can be any different or that we are bound to it or free from it if it's the definition of absolute? is not a defeat and let it happen is just let things be whatever they might be. Rebellion, conformity, fight, peace. Doesn't matter. you are free. 

Cause you cannot show that it is in fact absolute. You only preach it. That's the villainous beauty of it.

[Goat-kun 2,530]

On 11/21/2019 at 5:08 PM, ShadOBabe said:

I have zero problems with the fact that they kinda redeemed Ahuizotl, but I also loved his role as a bad guy.

• big
• loud
• crazy strong
• raging temper, occasionally offset by sass
• hammy with LOTS of big, boisterous, evil laughter
• bad for no other reason than it’s fun and they get stuff

I love these characters. They’re the kind of bad guy that looks that the more tragic, tortured, grumpy villains and yell, “Get over yourself, you whinging ninny!” before grabbing the nearest good guy and sticking them in a ridiculous death trap, cackling and stroking their pet cat.

I love it! *twirls mustache, wrings hands, and giggles*

I have nothing against Skeletor types. They're fun to have around, but it's hard to make them if your writing crew is full of hipsters and whine moms. Skeletor needs to be both fun and a reasonable threat which means he should be able to defy whatever Care Bear Stare your Burger King Kids Club has at their disposal. Balance in all things: that's the key.

 

[Goat-kun 2,530]

On 11/22/2019 at 4:29 PM, Rushing cash said:

I enjoy many kind of villains, villains that are egotistical, vent on revenge and control with charisma(not a necessity though), villains that are for comedy(as long as they are still slightly threatening, like the hyenas in the lion king), some serious villains that give no nonsense, bossy villains etc...

Regarding their backstory, its not a necessity, I like many villains that have no backstory(like some mlp villains, scar and so on) if I like them or not will depend on their personality and what he does. Sometimes backstories damage the image of the villain, so it not always a good idea to have a backstory if you didn't plan something good(in shows like mlp a backstory usually means redemption even though I would loved to see a good villain with some cool backstory and not redeemed!). I love some down to earth villains(I really like many of the "minor" villains in mlp like suri poloamre and lightning dust), they don't need to be some monster(like discord or tirek) with crazy powers but they can be people with motives(selfish motives are great to, nothing wrong with wanting something for them even if it hurts the good guy) that clash with the heroes. Sometimes the bad things can come from the villain struggles, like in an OC I made https://www.deviantart.com/ifihaveit/art/Oc-Bellflower-flame-819613565  , a sad or realistic struggle doesn't have to end in a redemption either(I am okay with redemptions but it doesn't always work, like what if in the movie tempest tried to take all the power to herself in the end instead of being cheated by storm king or decided to repair her horn herself after he betrayed her).

I would liked if there was a villain similar to say starlight(a powerful magician, that seeks control but has an idea they want to achieve they believe is the right way, competent and take no nonsense from anyone) that brainwashed other characters(eventually the good guys to) slowly and put ideas in their minds so they unconsciously help her and having an epic role in the end, like taking magic from the princesses and becoming alicorn herself(not like cozy glow who became because of some stolen magic from a belle, but by reaching her goal slowly and interacting with some good characters along the way, make her maybe a little creepy too...  I went off topic a bit).  I prefer villains that are manipulative(like danglar in the count of monte cristo, the book that is) rather then just brute force or overpowered antagonists(like discord). 

 

Can I offer my opinion? Well, you did post your OC in my domain. Let's see now ...

 

First things first: the name. Don't just google some flower and call it a day. A name is very important. And he's too green to be a bellflower. He looks more like a Houseleek color-wise. All I'm saying is that parents wouldn't name him after anything blue or purple.

 

Next let's address the amulet in the room: we know Zecora took the Alicorn Amulet. Why not let him steal the thing from her. He's a villain in the making. You could write this as his first step towards the life of crime. Also, one should establish what kirin and Alicorn Amulet are capable off in the first place. Many Starfoal suckers around here think that mind control is godlike but that's just their shitty writing skills acting up. If you use it as a cop out like you did people won't hate you character. They will hate your writing. It's like when some unicorn worshiper tries to end all Vs. arguments with unicorn mind control and then starts doing intense mind acrobatics after I demand hard magic ruleset with the lack of canon use on enemies as the focus. Mind control and time travel are shit writing that should only be used extremely sparingly; preferably if the story revolves around them specifically. Your character could simply make a clever scheme to get to his family money. It would highlight his intelligence. In the end, mind control is just another type of brute force.

 

Also, you should involve the mob underworld where item traffickers and other unscrupulous fellows do their business. It's where the money is at.

 

The fight .... well, it's not the worst. At least it made more sense than anything we got in the show itself. But what is the limbo? The concept of phantasmagoric otherworlds hiding beyond the veil of materium is truly fascinating.

 

Me? Yes, I do have a kirin OC or two. Hammerfall is the brutal but cunning commander of Hearthguard Skirmishers under the searing wings of Lord Ashenmaw. She, like the rest of chthonic kirin, is a creature of iron scale and dancing flames unfettered by lies and illusions of Harmony. A trinket smith in times of peace, she had made a name for herself in the burst jousting arena and had thus been scouted by Grand Collector Dunechick to lead the shock troops in the Sacking of Crystal Empire where she was among the first to enter the palace and banish the corrupt impostors from the lands of Ashendale. Fiery and hot headed as she is, Hammerfall could never forgive Harmony for twisting the beautiful flames of the kirin into something dark and shameful, and for that its servants shall pay with their boiling blood.

 

Despite her name, Hammerfall is not as close to the earth element as her gnobold friend Puppy. Instead, she favors magic of the fire element and is able to employ a formidable array of spells that burn flesh, metal, and mana. Indeed, the weaker spells cast by the wretched unicorns burn out before they even touch her shiny scales.

 

Is she a villain? It depends who you ask. To Bronies and Equestrians she might as well be an irredeemable foe and an accursed creature that should not exist.

[Rushing cash 836]

On 11/24/2019 at 7:54 PM, Goat-kun said:

Can I offer my opinion? Well, you did post your OC in my domain. Let's see now ...

 

 

 

First things first: the name. Don't just google some flower and call it a day. A name is very important. And he's too green to be a bellflower. He looks more like a Houseleek color-wise. All I'm saying is that parents wouldn't name him after anything blue or purple.

 

 

 

Next let's address the amulet in the room: we know Zecora took the Alicorn Amulet. Why not let him steal the thing from her. He's a villain in the making. You could write this as his first step towards the life of crime. Also, one should establish what kirin and Alicorn Amulet are capable off in the first place. Many Starfoal suckers around here think that mind control is godlike but that's just their shitty writing skills acting up. If you use it as a cop out like you did people won't hate you character. They will hate your writing. It's like when some unicorn worshiper tries to end all Vs. arguments with unicorn mind control and then starts doing intense mind acrobatics after I demand hard magic ruleset with the lack of canon use on enemies as the focus. Mind control and time travel are shit writing that should only be used extremely sparingly; preferably if the story revolves around them specifically. Your character could simply make a clever scheme to get to his family money. It would highlight his intelligence. In the end, mind control is just another type of brute force.

 

 

 

Also, you should involve the mob underworld where item traffickers and other unscrupulous fellows do their business. It's where the money is at.

 

 

 

The fight .... well, it's not the worst. At least it made more sense than anything we got in the show itself. But what is the limbo? The concept of phantasmagoric otherworlds hiding beyond the veil of materium is truly fascinating.

 

 

 

Me? Yes, I do have a kirin OC or two. Hammerfall is the brutal but cunning commander of Hearthguard Skirmishers under the searing wings of Lord Ashenmaw. She, like the rest of chthonic kirin, is a creature of iron scale and dancing flames unfettered by lies and illusions of Harmony. A trinket smith in times of peace, she had made a name for herself in the burst jousting arena and had thus been scouted by Grand Collector Dunechick to lead the shock troops in the Sacking of Crystal Empire where she was among the first to enter the palace and banish the corrupt impostors from the lands of Ashendale. Fiery and hot headed as she is, Hammerfall could never forgive Harmony for twisting the beautiful flames of the kirin into something dark and shameful, and for that its servants shall pay with their boiling blood.

 

 

 

Despite her name, Hammerfall is not as close to the earth element as her gnobold friend Puppy. Instead, she favors magic of the fire element and is able to employ a formidable array of spells that burn flesh, metal, and mana. Indeed, the weaker spells cast by the wretched unicorns burn out before they even touch her shiny scales.

 

 

 

Is she a villain? It depends who you ask. To Bronies and Equestrians she might as well be an irredeemable foe and an accursed creature that should not exist.

 

I really did not put to much effort in the backstory, I didn't even plan to write something this long, its not suppose to be a fanfiction story. I wanted to do something like scheme at first but that would need even more details and so I used the emulate to make it more based on magic. I will probably change tje story later but it wasnt my main concern with the oc. Regarding the name, I really had no idea what name to choose and that name just sounded better then the others that I came up with(I am terrible with names).

But thanks anyway for giving me your advice.