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Would you rather marry a stranger or marry your best friend?


Reecejackox

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  • The title was changed to Would you rather marry a stranger or marry your best friend?
  • 1 month later...

My best friend. For a multitude of reasons... I don't know if this dream is something I should abandon,, but yeah sometimes people just connect... you're supposed to be friends with your love? Go on adventures? Make experiences? Share fun interests and what not, great memories....you're supposed to get to meet someone THOROUGHLY before you jump the shark on attraction and finances alone, love isnt a damn business contract or some financial agreement, nor is it just about sex... It's a special bond between two people that connect on a other level that others can't with them .. it's a higher frequency that two people live on together psychologically

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  • 2 weeks later...

oh gosh I would marry my best friend *blushes*

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On 2022-10-08 at 10:56 AM, Splashee said:

The moment your best friend becomes your love, is the moment you lose your best friend.

I respectfully and vehemently disagree.  I believe that if your spouse/significant other isn't your best friend, then you're not doing it right and/or you found the wrong person.  I have always rejected this cynical, sitcom bs that friendship and romantic love are somehow inherently separated, and that romantic entanglement necessarily and by definition kills certain freedoms that you have with friends and whatnot, etc.  The quintessential illustration of this idea is the classic Relationship George vs. Independent George bit on Seinfeld.  Absolutely no offense or disrespect intended to anyone, but I believe that if one views relationships that way (The George Costanza mindset), then your views are profoundly flawed and utterly tragic.  Your lover and your best friend are supposed to be one and the same.

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56 minutes ago, Justin_Case001 said:

Your lover and your best friend are supposed to be one and the same.

In the ideal world, you fall in love and you are obviously best friends in the process (worst case, you are a little bit friendly, but such a relationship has no foundation to hold for a long time). But in the real world, many split-up relationships won't end up in people being best friends. My mom and my dad won't talk to each other, but I am here as a result of their love. So, if they started out best friends, made the decision to step it up into a full loving relationship, that friendship between them was doomed at that point in time. As a note, they hate each other. Don't ask me how people can go from friends to lovers to hating each other and causing their children to be scarred for life.

So, as a conclusion, you'll lose your best friend the moment you enter a relationship with them:
If you say that you are best friends while currently being in that relationship, then you are implying that your love is on a friendly level, which is probably not a marriage situation.
If you break up after any loving relationship was established, you will most likely never be friends the way you were before the relationship.
I am saying this from my own experience with relationships.

 

I do have a best friend that has been interested in me. I will hopefully never drop our friendship for any kind of temptation. Our friendship has been beneficial for years, and must continue to stay that way.

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On 2023-01-08 at 11:12 AM, Splashee said:

If you break up after any loving relationship was established, you will most likely never be friends the way you were before the relationship.

Stipulated.

On 2023-01-08 at 11:12 AM, Splashee said:

I do have a best friend that has been interested in me. I will hopefully never drop our friendship for any kind of temptation.

I really wish you'd try.  I mean, a lot depends on your compatibility and life situations/goals, etc, but if you line up well on those things, I really think it's worth the risk.  When one finds the right person, the transition from friendship to romance should leave the friendship part intact and undamaged, but I completely realize that if the romance fails and a breakup occurs, the relationship can almost never be reverted back.  Once merged, the friendship usually cannot be excised from the romance without damaging it.  It's a one way transition.  I get that.  But as someone who has desperately longed for a romantic partner from when I was old enough to be self-aware, and who is now 37 and never been on so much as a first date, and who is a broken, destroyed man who will absolutely die alone and a virgin, and who struggles every minute of every day to cope with the gnawing loneliness and devastating pain of knowing that there is no hope, and that hope never even existed in the first place--as that person, I firmly believe that it's worth the risk for you to take the shot.  Many of us don't even get a shot.  I hate to see someone let theirs slip away.  But I realize that for many people, they feel that the platonic friendship is of more value to them in its current state than a romance would be, so each person has to decide what's right for them.  But I sure as hell know what I'd do.


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