writing What did I do to deserve this?

[Finesthour 7,287]

All I do in life is try to make others happy.

 

All I wish is to make others grin.

 

But why is it that I am put in these situations of pain.

 

Why am I thrown into a world I do not know.

 

My ex won't leave me alone.

 

My best friend thinks I hate her guts, and that I'm leaving her.

 

She believes because I am talking to someone all day on skype.

 

It is true, I feel very strongly for Lexa.

 

When I had my breakdown, I was hoping she would be there.

 

But I didn't have her when it happened.

 

I had Serenity.

 

But she even got mad at me for trying to fix the heart that was broken.

.

I don't understand why she is jealous.

 

I don't understand what I've done to get into this situation.

 

My life was actually beginning to look up.

 

I was with someone who made me feel safe on skype.

 

I had a friend who I could talk to about anything.

 

But suddenly, I get a text from my ex.

 

And a shitstorm appears.

 

She begins to attack me.

 

Which builds to the stress that I had inside.

 

And very few actually tried to help.

 

I got yelled at from the one who was close.

 

Lexa left as well...

 

I understand why she left though.

 

I needed someone close...

 

I almost cut myself for the first time ever.

 

I put the blade on my skin.

 

I almost ripped a cut open.

 

I just couldn't do it, because of a promise I made to her.

 

Now she is back, and now I can cry for the rest of the night.

 

But I know when I wake, the problem will still be here.

 

The fuck did I do to deserve this shit.

Edited June 22, 2012 by Crona

[Jokuc 8,173]

:'( Why are so many ponies on the forums having such hard times... I really wish you didn't have these problems, and that your life could be all happy

[TomokoKuroki 1,707]

Finest, there are those who deserve bad things, and get the good, there are those who deserve great things and get the bad.

 

Sadly you are not having the best of luck with life, and I know things can be hard. Please remember that you are never alone, you are loved by us on the forums. We will always be here for you. If there are those that you love, or care for and they are giving you nothing but problems and stress, you may have to either cut them out of your life, or spend some time away from them a bit to gather yourself.

 

You are letting their negativity affect you in a bad way. I know you are better than that, you deserve better than that. But you need the strength to be able to push that out of your life. But you never have to do anything alone. We will all be here for you to offer help when you need it. Finest I strongly feel you need to work on not letting people get past your defenses. Letting people into your heart is fine, but you have the tenancy to let them seep into your inner walls, and break them down leaving you obliterated. You must rebuild you walls.

 

I know you know that if you ever need somepony to talk to, or yell at, or do whatever to vent emotions out, you can unload it on me. I'll be glad to help.

[Shankveld 4,949]

Some people are like cancer, they keep taking and draining for your life until you are no more. And just like cancer, you need to CUT them off.

These things are happening because you are allowing these toxic relationships.

Some people may seem wonderful, but you should be benefiting from friendships/relationships not be hurt by them.

One thing I know about you is that you have a big heart, and you like to help people.

The bad thing is that you get too emotional involved with these people.

These hurting people don't love themselves and they'll never love you.

You can help people, but you can't get attached.

Attach yourself to happy/healthy minded people and your life will increase ten fold.

Promise ~