You are all Chuck's slaves as of now.

[Rainbow Skywalker 642]

So my friend and I were in school one day. It was early in the morning and nobody in that class wanted anything to do with happiness, sunshine, or the sorts. Our teacher walks in and tells us

 

"The school board is cutting education budgets again, so starting tomorrow, each printer copy worksheet that is given out in class will cost you 10 cents per sheet. Any student who doesn't pay will receive a failing grade for that assignment."

 

So now, we're all completely Pissed at this wonderful piece of news. I mean that has to be the absolute stupidest thing I have ever heard of. Charging kids for grades? I mean come on.

 

But then she said after about 20 minutes of hiding the secret pretty dang well:

"Just kidding guys! Ahahahah."

 

The classroom was filled with 100% straight faces.

 

"But imagine if you guys really had to do this. Well that's what happened to the Americans in taxation without representation. There were taxes on blah blah bla ble blah bleh..."

And other educational stuff.

 

So this lead my friend and I to thinking "My god, the woman that is teaching us could have lied to us about everything that we have learned so far."

 

Everything...

 

That's when our idea started forming.

 

Ok, so I will name this teacher Ms. G for now. Now the theory goes, Ms. G actually made up every single thing that ever happened in the world ever. She also WAS everyone that ever existed. Ms. G was Benjamin Franklin. She was hitler. She was the freaking Easter bunny do you understand? Everyone that ever existed in the past, that was Ms. G. She then acted out everything that happened in history.

 

She dressed herself up as Julius Caesar and got stabbed a bunch.

 

She put on a mustache and built every single Harley Davidson ever in existence.

 

 

So now that you understand that Ms. G is the creator of every physical object, we determined that this guy we had a Spanish project on, Javier Cienfuegos (Olympics hammer thrower), was the only person who could resist Ms. G's mind control that she had used to convince everyone that her made up history actually happened. Why this guy? Because his last name is the best last name ever. Cienfuegos in English means one hundred fires. Now tell me that is not the coolest thing ever.

 

So after that we determined that every single physical thing ever, is actually Ms. G. Or as we now properly name the physical everything (because Ms. G was just a physical embodiment of this idea): SATAN!

 

Now neither of us are actually Christian, which makes this just a whole lot more hilarious to both of us.

 

And being the opposite, Javier Cienfuegos would be god or something, but we decided to keep his awesome name.

 

However, satan is the physical everything. Whereas Cienfuegos is the mental and spiritual everything. If you hear some nice music, you can thank Cienfuegos. If you look at some art, the feeling you get when you look at it is Cienfuegos, but the actual art itself is of satan.

 

So here are some examples:

 

Had a dream? CIENFUEGOS

Liked the taste of something? CIENFUEGOS

Stubbed your toe? SATAN WAS THE DOOR

Your pencil broke? SATAN

Wrecked your car? SATAN

Have homework? IT'S ACTUALLY SATAN IN DISGUISE.

 

Now of course this is just a joke. Because I know that if I don't say that then somebody will be like "I am thoroughly insulted that you're making fun of my religion. You may have the right to blah abla ble bla blah blah..." And that's when I stopped listening.

 

 

So what do you think of our idea? Cool enough to be possible?

Edited November 16, 2012 by Rainbow Skywalker

[Standard User 2,127]

I've definitely had similar ideas before about the teachers-lying-to-you-about-everything-ever part. Silly teachers, think they can fool us! Ha! I scoff at the idea!

 

But really, this is probably the best thing I have read all week. Props to you, friend, for making me laugh. Thank Cienfuegos for humor like yours! Does this mean that people, being physical objects, are actually Satan? Am *I* Satan? What about you?!

 

And on a side note, my school DOES make us pay for printing...my whole town is one big money-pit.

Edited November 15, 2012 by Kolth

[Tom 890]

My thoughts: you and your friend have some active imaginations.

 

On the note of having to paying for printing, that's true at my uni.

But the tuition fees are paid by the government, so I guess it's all fair.

[Xanderal 23]

This is one of those times where you're like, "Do I really want to read this wall of text?"

 

and then you do, and are glad that you did

[Crispy 5,563]

But now you must ask yourself, is this website the work of Satan, or is it a free bastion of the enlightened?

 

Conundrums and quandaries

 

Side note, a lot of schools make you pay for paper after you print off a certain amount of copies, at least where I went to school.

[Tom 890]

But now you must ask yourself, is this website the work of Satan, or is it a free bastion of the enlightened?

 

I'd have to say the web isn't so, after all it's just a collection of digital data whizzing around at approximately the speed of light.

 

The internet however is the physical (and wireless) connections that connect computers around the world, so it could be considered the work of Satan.

[Rainbow Skywalker 642]

I'd have to say the web isn't so

Well, we had some more thoughts and examples today:

 

Any physical object is still Satan.

 

Satan is being renamed Chuck for social acceptability purposes. Today we were talking about how cool "our amazing idea about satan" when somebody accidentally overheard that phrase that I just previously put in quotation marks.^ So the person was immediately like 'WTF' and we had to explain the whole thing. So we flipped to a random page in our World History book and the first name we saw was Chuck. So we used that instead.

 

Anything physical is always considered Chuck. Even if it is something like ice cream.

 

A fancy car that you receive as a gift, is still thanks to Chuck.

 

But beware, no matter how great it may seem, Chuck is always evil.

 

Chuck has the most twisted and evil sense of humor and irony ever.

 

The only reason that he gave you that Ferrari, is because he will later on use it to your misfortune. You might run over your beloved cat while driving the car. And thats the whole reason Chuck gave you the car in the first place. So that he could watch you cry over your cat. Chuck is a sick little bastard...

 

This can be applied to other examples:

 

Chuck gives you ice cream, but Ice cream will make you fat.

 

Chuck gives you video games, but too many video game time is bad for you.

 

Chuck gives you Nutella. But Chuck watches you cry as you reach the end of the jar.

 

Chuck gives you headphones, which will later be chewed up by your dog.

 

 

Now we move on to humans. Humans and living things are actually being controlled by Chuck. Or At least those who do not know of Chuck's evils and still believe in everything they have been taught by their history teachers. But you and I now know about Chuck, so we are liberated as long as we stay under the guidance of Cienfuegos. Yes my friend, you are now freed from the bonds of Chuck. Just by reading this and giving a brohoof maybe? lol jk

 

Cienfuegos is constantly at war with Chuck.

 

Cienfuegos controls thoughts, feelings, and those who have been liberated's actions.

 

Everything else, Chuck controls. Including the actions of people who don't know about Chuck.

 

However, because Cienfuegos and Chuck are constantly fighting over property, they are winning and losing small "wars" in things.

 

Here are some examples of wars that are won by Cienfuegos:

 

Teacher who doesn't know about Chuck doesn't give you homework. This is because Cienfuegos won a little war inside that person's mind against Chuck. Therefore, a good thing happened instead of a bad one.

 

You have a bad feeling or taste something bad. Chuck just won a war in your head. Pull it together man!

 

Something physical is actually good in all ways. This was because Cienfuegos won over that object.

 

You feel pain. Thanks Chuck.

 

You have food. Win for Cien!

 

 

Also, I'm changing the topic title to something else. Education wasn't really the point of this was it?