Discorded Again

[Swick (ded) 436]

Hello everypony! This is my My Little Pony fanfiction, Discorded Again. I would appreciate some feedback. There should be a new chapter every so often, probably every 3-14 days. Yes, that's a big range, I know, but it depends on how distracted I get by MLPForums and other crap. Anyway, I will make a post on this topic to notify when there is a new chapter. I am open to criticism, so please tell me if I made a mistake anywhere!

 

Links:

Part One - Dangerous Games

Edited January 27, 2013 by Swick

[Standard User 2,127]

Heh, you think two weeks is long for an update? It took me two months. I salute you for staying on track - well, planning to, anyways.

Also, I've caught up with what you had written a couple of days ago; if you've made changes since then I haven't read it. But from what I HAVE read, you've taken my advice and that makes me squee inside and feel important. It's looking great! 

[Swick (ded) 436]

Woo! After that blog post, I felt guilty for not finally finishing the new chapter, so I did it! Chapter Three is done!

 

A bit of a twist in the story... Things were going so well, too.

 

... Feedback anypony?

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And NOW, time for a break from writing.   Three chapters in two weeks is enough, I hope.

Edited December 29, 2012 by Swick

[Doctor-Whooves 288]

Pretty interesting idea. I suppose I never thought that Discord transformed the land into some other type, more that he simply altered the look. *hands medal*

[Sepraxian 36]

I loved this fanfic!

 

I took my time to read this fanfiction slowly and out loud (terrible russian accent included), and I have to say, I like the way it is divided into chapters and parts. Each and every part starts and ends precisely where it needs to, and can be summarized in one sentence.

 

Character portrayal is nice. You can't go wrong with Pinkie Pie, and even here her 4W jokes are great and not overused. Applejack's manner of speech is reflected, Rarity's as well, for a few lines she has. Twilight never asks, she logically thinks out loud, that's TS I know.

I'm not sure why hasn't Twilight figured to travel to Canterlot without Applejack's suggestion, but hey, it's a minor thing, doesn't affect the plot in any way. I guess. OR DOES IT

 

Newcomers, these are nice, too. I love how they are contrasted against each other - blue and light blue stallion against yellow and dark yellow mare. Swick has his own part at the beginning of chapter three, complete with inner monologue of all things, you can't call him alien after that.

 

Based on some overcomplex sentences in this fanfic, I can see that you imagine these as scenes from an actual episode before writing them down, don't you?

 

I am really interested so far!

Edited December 30, 2012 by Sepraxian

[Swick (ded) 436]

Based on some overcomplex sentences in this fanfic, I can see that you imagine these as scenes from an actual episode before writing them down, don't you?

Yeah, I kinda do think of them as an episode in my mind. It helps me think: Now, if this was the real show, what would most likely happen next but still follow the plot? Thanks for the feedback, man. Always appreciated. 

 

Chapter Four is done! Probably the worst chapter in my opinion, but I guess that's my fault. I rushed it a bit because I just wanted to get a new chapter out so I could feel like I actually accomplished something today.

[Standard User 2,127]

Chapter Four is done! Probably the worst chapter in my opinion, but I guess that's my fault. I rushed it a bit because I just wanted to get a new chapter out so I could feel like I actually accomplished something today.

 

I'm guilty of that. It is a great and terrible feeling, but *shrug* what are you gonna do?

 

Anyways, just give me a little bit and I'll make sure to give it a read. 

[Swick (ded) 436]

The new chapter is out! Also, I've decided to split the story into parts. Part One is now complete, so I'll be starting on Chapter Six soon. Don't worry, you'll still be able to read the chapters as soon as they're finished!