writing I Want to Forget

[MelancholicMemory 2,025]

I'm unique in a twisted sort of way because I have a very vivid, very selective memory. I rarely remember things about my own life and past...unless it is something I strongly regret. As a result, I sometimes cannot get thoughts of the terrible things I've done or experienced out of my mind, and this tends to make me depressed. I wrote this during one such time.

 

"I Want to Forget"

 

I want to forget all the memories that happened at home.
I want to forget that I'm lost and alone.

I want to be rid of all my mistakes.
I want to get rid of all the sorrow I've made.

I want to forget my childish rage.
I want to forget being hurt and enslaved.

I did not want to be hated;
I just want to lose this facade I've created

I want to forget all the things that I've said,
And to no longer mourn all my friends who are dead.

I want to forget about money.
I want to forget all the jokes that weren't funny.

I want to forget being cast aside by my peers;
All of their laughing and all of their jeers.

I want to forget all these ghosts that do haunt me,
But inside me they continue to berate and taunt me.

Edited February 7, 2013 by MelancholicMemory

[Twilight Circuits 603]

One of things i learned on my journey was the art of self forgiveness. As a I learned to question the very things I had done that included asking the question "What can I now learn to ensure those things never happen again?" Sometimes the answer doesn't always come for several days. But the answer does come, and from that point on I learned to let go. There's things we've all done to ourselves and to others. Forgive yourself so then in turn, you can forgive those that wronged you. True story.

[MelancholicMemory 2,025]

I too have learned of the lesson of forgiveness on my journey of life. I even wrote a poem about it. Unfortunately, though I understand that I must learn to let go and forgive both myself and others, it is in my nature to lament upon my mistakes so I have a lot of trouble putting this revelation into practice. I try my best though and I have made progress since I wrote this poem.

 

Thank you for sharing yet another wonderful piece of your wisdom, TwilightCircuits.

Edited January 13, 2013 by MelancholicMemory

[Angry Muffin 23]

After I read this I took the Feels train to Feelsville. I understand what you're going through dude. Chin up guy, things will get better.

[MelancholicMemory 2,025]

After I read this I took the Feels train to Feelsville. I understand what you're going through dude. Chin up guy, things will get better.

Thanks! I feel a lot better now. I've been working on dealing with these kinds of thoughts.  I wrote this particular poem quite a while ago. Oh, and welcome to the forums!

[Twilight Circuits 603]

I too have learned of the lesson of forgiveness on my journey of life. I even wrote a poem about it. Unfortunately, though I understand that I must learn to let go and forgive both myself and others, it is in my nature to lament upon my mistakes so I have a lot of trouble putting this revelation into practice. I try my best though and I have made progress since I wrote this poem.

 

Thank you for sharing yet another wonderful piece of your wisdom, TwilightCircuits.

Not sure how I missed that poem considering it was posted not to long ago. Though I gotta say you more or less hit the nail the on the head on that one. It's one of the reasons i avoid mainstream news. They're... sneaky...

 

It's good to hear you've made progress. There is a part of the scripture that talks about forgiveness but ultimately I learned the lesson about forgiveness AFTER I learned the technique I mentioned in my blog. It's one of the reasons I had written as such:

13:13 Thy pony with knowledge and understanding,

13:16 Understoodeth the Law of Forgiveness,

13:19 For the Discorded pony knows not what they do.

13:22 For a pony with wisdom, knows the Power of Choice.

13:23 If thy pony refuseth darkness,

13:33 Thy pony remains in the light.

13:36 If thy pony refuseth hate,

13:66 Thy pony remains with their love complete.

 

The technique allows oneself to remain emotionally balanced enough to obtain the knowledge and wisdom that comes with being able to analyze things that happened. More so in terms of "How can you move on until you let go?" and "How can you let go until you forgive yourself?" and finally, "How can one learn to love others until one learns to forgive and let go of the things that prevent them from doing so?" Wisdom of the ages indeed...

[Angry Muffin 23]

Thanks! I feel a lot better now. I've been working on dealing with these kinds of thoughts.  I wrote this particular poem quite a while ago. Oh, and welcome to the forums!

 

Thanks dude. I had second thoughts about coming to the forums thinking I wouldn't make many friends but I thought ah buck it and here I am. 

[MelancholicMemory 2,025]

Not sure how I missed that poem considering it was posted not to long ago. Though I gotta say you more or less hit the nail the on the head on that one. It's one of the reasons i avoid mainstream news. They're... sneaky...

 

It's good to hear you've made progress. There is a part of the scripture that talks about forgiveness but ultimately I learned the lesson about forgiveness AFTER I learned the technique I mentioned in my blog. It's one of the reasons I had written as such:

13:13 Thy pony with knowledge and understanding,

13:16 Understoodeth the Law of Forgiveness,

13:19 For the Discorded pony knows not what they do.

13:22 For a pony with wisdom, knows the Power of Choice.

13:23 If thy pony refuseth darkness,

13:33 Thy pony remains in the light.

13:36 If thy pony refuseth hate,

13:66 Thy pony remains with their love complete.

 

The technique allows oneself to remain emotionally balanced enough to obtain the knowledge and wisdom that comes with being able to analyze things that happened. More so in terms of "How can you move on until you let go?" and "How can you let go until you forgive yourself?" and finally, "How can one learn to love others until one learns to forgive and let go of the things that prevent them from doing so?" Wisdom of the ages indeed...

Ah, yes. I remember that part of your Scripture. This idea was first introduced to me, though, in the book, Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse, which is about a Buddhist' s journey to Nirvana. Looking beyond hate, vengeance, guilt, and contempt to simply love the world and everyone in it was a big part of his realization. I utilize my own version of your technique as best as I can to try to reach such an ideal state of mind.

 

Thanks dude. I had second thoughts about coming to the forums thinking I wouldn't make many friends but I thought ah buck it and here I am. 

You're welcome! I joined with a similar attitude, but I've met some great friends here. You' d be surprised how things can turn out 

[biscuit (smyl3r) 65]

Wow, this one was really touching as well. I almost teared up, I could feel your pain. You seem like such a depressed person, it saddens me. You should talk to me sometime...

 

Anyways, I think that you could really improve this poem if you added one last verse to bring it all home. Just something quick and abrupt to really finish off the feel... if that makes sense

 

But yeah, lets talk soon (:

[rolle 320]

Wait, IT WAS A POEM?! i thought it was a song and made it in my head anyways it fit as a song. Note: this reminds me of my past kinda being bullied can mean enslaved in a way hmm i cannot forget things becuz of my half photographic memory that makes every scene i see halfed so sometimes i dream weird dreams that are stuck to my mind.

[MelancholicMemory 2,025]

Anyways, I think that you could really improve this poem if you added one last verse to bring it all home. Just something quick and abrupt to really finish off the feel... if that makes sense

That was exactly the kind of feeling I was going for. Much like the thoughts running through the narrator' s head, the poem has no clean coinclusion; no defined ending.

 

 

Wow, this one was really touching as well. I almost teared up, I could feel your pain. You seem like such a depressed person, it saddens me. You should talk to me sometime...

 

 

 

But yeah, lets talk soon (:

Thanks, I suppose I am a depressed person, although I  seem worse than I actually am if you just read my sad poetry. If you go to my poetry blog, which is below, you can find some of my happier work. I would love to talk to you sometime. I think that would make me feel a lot better about everything. I also am considering seeing a therapist.

 

 

 

Wait, IT WAS A POEM?! i thought it was a song and made it in my head anyways it fit as a song. Note: this reminds me of my past kinda being bullied can mean enslaved in a way hmm i cannot forget things becuz of my half photographic memory that makes every scene i see halfed so sometimes i dream weird dreams that are stuck to my mind.

I come from a pretty musically rich background (I've written lyrics for a friend' s band and I play 3 instruments) so my poetry tends to resemble song lyrics sometimes. Someone is actually making one of my poems into an original song right now. I can certainly relate to your feelings because I was bullied quite a lot as well.

[SmileForever^.^ 128]

Oh no no no, this wont do at all!

 

Don't get me wrong, you sir or madam, are an amazing poet

But your outlook on life truly saddens me, and I don't like these feels (Hmm, maybe I should find some sugar, hehe)

Anyhoof, believe it or not, a cycle of selective memory can indeed be broken. I'm not sure about the difference in methods that needs to be used due to the fact that I am not your clone, or am I? but I do know that It would help if you noted down many of the positive aspects of your life. That way you will have them recorded, date by date

[biscuit (smyl3r) 65]

Thanks, I suppose I am a depressed person, although I  seem worse than I actually am if you just read my sad poetry. If you go to my poetry blog, which is below, you can find some of my happier work. I would love to talk to you sometime. I think that would make me feel a lot better about everything. I also am considering seeing a therapist.

 

Well yeah obviously your sad poetry is.. sad. But I can tell that theres lots of emotions you keep to yourself.. Its honestly not healthy.

 

And dont see a therapist, its not worth it. Trust me.

 

Lets talk

Edited January 13, 2013 by biscuit

[MelancholicMemory 2,025]

Oh no no no, this wont do at all!

 

Don't get me wrong, you sir or madam, are an amazing poet

But your outlook on life truly saddens me, and I don't like these feels (Hmm, maybe I should find some sugar, hehe)

Anyhoof, believe it or not, a cycle of selective memory can indeed be broken. I'm not sure about the difference in methods that needs to be used due to the fact that I am not your clone, or am I? but I do know that It would help if you noted down many of the positive aspects of your life. That way you will have them recorded, date by date

Oh,no, that' s far from my outlook on life! It' s just, every once in a while, I'll have a sudden rush of those kinds of thoughts and memories. It's like a panic attack; a sudden short- term problem, not my usual disposition. I've been working on improving too, as I've mentioned in previous posts.

 

 

 

Well yeah obviously your sad poetry is.. sad. But I can tell that theres lots of emotions you keep to yourself.. Its honestly not healthy.

 

And dont see a therapist, its not worth it. Trust me.

 

Lets talk

I suppose you're right. And I was only going to see the therapist because, due to certain circumstances, I have free access to their services. PM me whenever you' re free, and willing to talk to me about all of this. I appreciate your willingness to help me a lot.

[SmileForever^.^ 128]

@@MelancholicMemory, Hmm, true, it is healthy for anyone to feel slightly under the weather every now and then, but your case seems to be more of the extreme. But the fact that you are on you way to managing these feelings is great news