writing Dust (poem)

[MelancholicMemory 2,025]

Here' s a short, rather sad poem I wrote. Any comments or suggestions are very much appreciated.

 

"Dust"

 

I sit here, alone,
Amongst cobwebs and dust.
I look around and mourn
All those I did love and trust.

This house is my tomb
As I await my demise;
To escape this cold earth
And roam free in the skies.

Oh, I just want to see you.
Oh, I'm sorry I'm late.
I'll be with you soon,
But for now I must wait

Edited February 7, 2013 by MelancholicMemory

[The Stranger 812]

I really did enjoy this poem MelancholicMemory. I could picture a man sitting in his old home as he mourned his life and the loss of the people he cared for.

 

Maybe I haven't been paying attention but most of the poetry I've seen you create has been somewhat negative and sad. I find nothing wrong with this sort of poetry since I've written a sad poem or two but don't you think it's time for a change of pace?

 

How about the next few poems you write have a somewhat positive ring to them? I've always believed that music has the power to induce all sorts of emotion. Poetry can do the same thing. Maybe if you write a few positive poems next you'll start feeling a little better. 

 

Keep up the good work.

Edited January 20, 2013 by Celestial Valour

[MelancholicMemory 2,025]

I really did enjoy this poem MelancholicMemory. I could picture a man sitting in his old home as he mourned his life and the loss of the people he cared for.

 

Maybe I haven't been paying attention but most of the poetry I've seen you create has been somewhat negative and sad. I find nothing wrong with this sort of poetry since I've written a sad poem or two but don't you think it's time for a change of pace?

 

How about the next few poems you write have a somewhat positive ring to them? I've always believed that music has the power to induce all sorts of emotion. Poetry can do the same thing. Maybe if you write a few positive poems next you'll start feeling a little better. 

 

Keep up the good work.

Thanks! That' s exactly the image I was trying to convey.

 

Actually, if you recall, one of the first things you said about my poetry was that I should try something darker   Anyway, this is an old poem, so it doesn't really reflect the way I feel now. I wrote it last September. I've been so busy with schoolwork that I haven't really been able to finish any new poems or anything, so I've just been posting some older ones.

 

Things have actually been pretty good for me lately.  I've been working on some positive poems when I get the time, and I've been trying to write more prose. I might even start writing more fan fiction soon!   Like I said though, I can never get enough time to just sit down and finish anything.

[The Stranger 812]

Thanks! That' s exactly the image I was trying to convey.

 

Actually, if you recall, one of the first things you said about my poetry was that I should try something darker   Anyway, this is an old poem, so it doesn't really reflect the way I feel now. I wrote it last September. I've been so busy with schoolwork that I haven't really been able to finish any new poems or anything, so I've just been posting some older ones.

 

Things have actually been pretty good for me lately.  I've been working on some positive poems when I get the time, and I've been trying to write more prose. I might even start writing more fan fiction soon!   Like I said though, I can never get enough time to just sit down and finish anything.

 

You're right I did say you should write darker poetry but I didn't say sad poetry.   it's up to you what you write. I only suggested you should write poetry that has a positive ring to it because I believe the type of poetry an individual writes reflects that individual's state of mind or how they're feeling. 

 

I suggested dark poetry and more positive poetry so you can get your mind off your troubles as you write instead of putting them into words. School is starting for me on the 22nd but I'm going to make time for my writing and art. School is important but my love for art and writing is just as important.  

[MelancholicMemory 2,025]

You're right I did say you should write darker poetry but I didn't say sad poetry.   it's up to you what you write. I only suggested you should write poetry that has a positive ring to it because I believe the type of poetry an individual writes reflects that individual's state of mind or how they're feeling. 

 

I suggested dark poetry and more positive poetry so you can get your mind off your troubles as you write instead of putting them into words. School is starting for me on the 22nd but I'm going to make time for my writing and art. School is important but my love for art and writing is just as important.  

I completely agree with you about poetry reflecting a writer's state of mind, although when I am sad, I feel like I need to get it out in words. Luckily, like I said, everything is going well in my life right now, and my work has been fairly positive.

 

I also think it is crucial to make time for art and writing, but the transition from into the new semester always overwhelms me a little. Plus, I go to a private school, so I have extra things I have to do. After this week, I plan to write a lot more.

[ApexHunter 166]

Something a bit different for once...
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  GGGGGGGGGGUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAA
I know that probably isn't appropriate but I'm tired of always repeating myself. Starting to sound stupid to myself. 
Anyway, back to the poem.  
I can imagine what is going on especially because I can see my friend sitting there. Why? Because it's like describing what he feels right now. (sounds weird but he's seriously just like that at the moment...well he's not sitting in the dust but you know where I'm going with this )
And now it's time to repeat myself AGAIN...  <_<
Really GREAT job and I hope to see more soon! ^^ 

[MelancholicMemory 2,025]

Something a bit different for once...

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  GGGGGGGGGGUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAA

I know that probably isn't appropriate but I'm tired of always repeating myself. Starting to sound stupid to myself. 

Anyway, back to the poem.  

I can imagine what is going on especially because I can see my friend sitting there. Why? Because it's like describing what he feels right now. (sounds weird but he's seriously just like that at the moment...well he's not sitting in the dust but you know where I'm going with this )

And now it's time to repeat myself AGAIN...  <_<

Really GREAT job and I hope to see more soon! ^^ 

Thanks again, LUkAa!   Does your friend have depression? I do and I've felt sort of this way before. It' s a terrible feeling, and I hope your friend feels better soon.   The most you can really do is be a good friend and eventually he'll feel better.

[ApexHunter 166]

Thanks again, LUkAa!   Does your friend have depression? I do and I've felt sort of this way before. It' s a terrible feeling, and I hope your friend feels better soon.   The most you can really do is be a good friend and eventually he'll feel better.

Yea he's ULTRA depressed. He even tried to commit suicide a few times. And I am trying to get him happy with all I got. And by the looks of it, I'm getting closer to cheering him up.

[MelancholicMemory 2,025]

Yea he's ULTRA depressed. He even tried to commit suicide a few times. And I am trying to get him happy with all I got. And by the looks of it, I'm getting closer to cheering him up.

That is so sad But at least you are getting closer to cheering him up. In fact that' s wonderful news. Just try to be there for him and maybe make him laugh every once and a while, and I'm sure he can overcome his feelings 

 

Just knowing someone is there for you can make all the difference to a depressed person.