Badvice!

[just ignore me 86]

Cut your arm off

 

I can't remember anything and i smell vanilla what should i do

[Sylvester 350]

Eat a Cinnabon

How do you cure osteoporosis??

[Silverhoof 2,844]

The same way you cure a zombie...

 

I think my neighbor might be a vampire. Wat do?

[just ignore me 86]

rub raw meat on yourself vampires hate raw meat

 

I see dead people what do i do

[Sylvester 350]

Change your name to Tru, go work at a morgue and save dead people.

Which do I buy, Rocky road or Vanilla??

Edited September 29, 2013 by Silverstar

[Silverhoof 2,844]

Buy BOTH! Pig out. Give yourself a party and a tummy ache! Come on! It will hurt so good!

 

Am I building bad karma by posting on this thread?

[Sylvester 350]

Of course! Why else d'you think you have a reason to post here??

The supermarket have me off milk, but the expiry date says next Tuesday, what do I do?? 

[Silverhoof 2,844]

Store it in the fridge for a year. You get free cheese then. Eat the whole thing. Its an experience you will never forget.

 

My girlfriend is mad at me because I won't kiss her. She just ate a pizza with anchovies! I love her to pieces, but I draw the line with anchovies flavored kisses.

---how can I make her feel better?

[Sylvester 350]

Hold your nose when you kiss her, she won't think any less of you!!

How do I make time for the forums on my busy schedule??

[Solace 407]

become a introvert

 

 

how do i sports

[aoEAF2FBvC0MIo2Q 3,673]

Practice. In your sleep that is. Be sure to watch a lot of sports TV too. It'll be just like in the pokemon games where you earn a piece of the experience by watching battles. Isn't that so cool?

 

How do I even lift?

[Onyx 0]

No, you drop.

 

How do i help my friend get better at reading?

[GameytheGeemer 147]

With the label down so it knows what it's playing

How do I run a scam

[Sweet Dreams 1,893]

First, put the computer on a leash and then, participate in the nearest marathon.

 

My feet hurt

Edited October 4, 2013 by Sweet Dreams

[Gay Bird 421]

dump legos all over the floor, they will massage your feet

 

Dragon rulers are still good wat do?

[Silverhoof 2,844]

Welcome your new dragon overlords.

 

I'm getting married, and I have a dinner to meet my future in-laws. Whats the best to to impress them?

[SomariFeyWright 776]

Tell them all your daughter's faults, and all of theirs. They would happily give their daughter to an honest person.

 

I accidentally cut off my hands.

[Frith is Magick 1,471]

Duct tape them back on and use lead based paint to hide it. Nobody needs to know.

 

The bloodstains came off the wall fine, but how do I get the stains and little chunks of flesh and bone out of shag carpet?

[SomariFeyWright 776]

You can't take those out. Best advice I can give is to put MORE bloodstains and flesh and bone in so that it becomes the theme of the room. No one will even notice.

 

How do I become famous?

[Silverhoof 2,844]

Serial killers are famous...

My fiance' wants us to go to a Halloween party as a pair of M&Ms. How do I tell her, "NO! H*LL NO!" without hurting her feelings?

[SomariFeyWright 776]

Say it exactly how it comes to you. It's better to be blunt than gentle. Just ask Kyle Hyde.

 

I accidentally the universe. How do I fix what I broke?

[Gay Bird 421]

Make dingus fix it.

 

I'm tired

[SomariFeyWright 776]

Go roll in a Red ant hill. You'll go to sleep real quick.

 

How do I fly?

[Gay Bird 421]

Take LSD

 

My phone is almost out of battery.

[Frith is Magick 1,471]

Put it on top of a metal pole in a lightning storm, it'll be charged in no time.

 

Those little candies the doctor tells me to eat made my best friend disappear. What do I do?