writing A Flash of Silver (a poem)

[CamRad18 337]

Hey guys! I wrote another poem! (as always, criticism is highly encouraged)

 

The flick of a thumb

A silent wish

Sent sailing through the air

 

A flash of silver

Bright and bold

Into the stony lair

 

It brushed past hopes

Skimmed empty wants

And grazed by dreams long held

 

Plinked off regrets

Crashed into lies

And chipped old promises

 

A flash of silver

Bright and bold

Led on by gravity

 

And when echoed a

Tiny splash

It didn’t change a thing

[CamRad18 337]

THIS is a poem. I thought this was a very well made poem, i wanted to know, what is the flash of silver? Is it a wish never came true, or a desire that is in vain?

technically speaking, it's a coin being tossed into a well. Figuratively speaking, its someone with a dream who hopes it will come true instead of making it come true.

 

Oh, and thanks for the compliment! It means a lot!

Edited March 6, 2013 by CamRad18

[CamRad18 337]

well now... looks like somepony knows their stuff. =w= this is a very good poem, and since I'm no expert my honest oppinion is the only critique I have to give...

I'm not looking for any life altering revelations here. It's just nice to have a couple other people reading the poem. Chances are they'll read it a little differently than me and point out awkward phrasing, possible better word choices, stuff like that. 

[Fluttermoon 192]

Oh, another one! I didn't know you were such a poet. I have tried to write poetry myself but none of it is good. It's been a long time.

[CamRad18 337]

Oh, another one! I didn't know you were such a poet. I have tried to write poetry myself but none of it is good. It's been a long time.

I wouldn't consider myself a poet. Not yet at least, considering I've completed a whopping three poems now. Also, even if you don't think they're very good you should still write (if you enjoy it, that is). I'd love to read one sometime!

[Fluttermoon 192]

heheh, three poems is still pretty good to me! I've got an old poem that I wrote a long time ago which I may or may not post here if I can find it.