writing The Broken Bond Of A Killer

[The Stranger 812]

This is a random poem that came to me today while I was taking a shower. I can't really choose when and how poems come to me, they just happen. With my limited vocabulary I'd say this poem came out somewhat well. Forgive my spelling if you spot any mistakes. I may be good with words but my spelling is horrible. If anyone cares to know, I'll be putting this up on my DeviantART account too.

 

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As darkness fills my very soul you turn to me and ask where I’ll go. You plead and plead for me to stay but I cannot, not this day. You grab my arm with persistence and force; I knock you down with no remorse.

 

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You stand back up and grab me again, you beg me not to go for I am your friend. Once more I break your grip and push you away, I’ve told you already, I cannot stay. I make my way to the front door; I turn to see you’re still on the floor.

 

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You’ve wondered why I acted this way, you’ve wondered why till this day. I’ve been gone for so many years, but not once did you shed any tears. Every other night without a peep, I enter your room and watch you sleep. I miss the days we had together but they are gone, gone forever.

[Gone for good 1,593]

You know, this is actually kind of thought provoking to me. I'm guessing the characters in this poem are older, but this strikes right at home with what happened to me when I had to say goodbye to my dad when I was younger.

 

Now, I'm no poet, as far as criticism goes I think that it's great that you are attempting to write, but if you're lacking vocabulary I'd whip out a thesaurus and just learn all the vocabulary you can. This isn't really a criticism of your poem as much as, well god this sounds negative, but your method itself.

Edited March 7, 2013 by Lord Bababa

[The Stranger 812]

You know, this is actually kind of thought provoking to me. I'm guessing the characters in this poem are older, but this strikes right at home with what happened to me when I had to say goodbye to my dad when I was younger.

 

Now, I'm no poet, as far as criticism goes I think that it's great that you are attempting to write, but if you're lacking vocabulary I'd whip out a thesaurus and just learn all the vocabulary you can. This isn't really a criticism of your poem as much as, well god this sounds negative, but your method itself.

 

Thank you for your post! The fact that you can connect to this poem even a little means a lot to me. Yes, you are correct in thinking the characters are older in the poem.

 

I was thinking if I read a bunch of stories, poems, and other types of creative writing that could improve my vocabulary over time.

Edited March 7, 2013 by Inky Heart

[Gone for good 1,593]

I was thinking if I read a bunch of stories, poems, and other types of creative writing that could improve my vocabulary over time.

You know, this is better than what I suggested and I actually will praise you for this. Not only would you learn more vocabulary, but you'd also learn more about writing which I've discovered is a skill that most people in this world simply don't have.

[The Stranger 812]

You know, this is better than what I suggested and I actually will praise you for this. Not only would you learn more vocabulary, but you'd also learn more about writing which I've discovered is a skill that most people in this world simply don't have.

 

Yeah you got that right. People seem to prefer visual art over writing these days. If you take a look at my DeviantART page you'll see my writing gets very little attention while people who've posted art get a mountain of comments. I guess us eggheads aren't very popular these days.