General Chat Thread

[Olly 1,011]

1 hour ago, Artemis said:

 Sertraline, which is the generic form of Zoloft. Works great. Makes me feel like my normal self, minus the horrible emotional background noise.

Does nothing for me. Well, maybe when I really needed it. I don't notice any difference now

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

13 minutes ago, Olly said:

Does nothing for me. Well, maybe when I really needed it. I don't notice any difference now

I honestly think something could've been done about my childhood, but it's too late to ever know.

On the other hand, Tyler is all grown up now.

[Olly 1,011]

3 minutes ago, Ganaram Inukshuk said:

I honestly think something could've been done about my childhood, but it's too late to ever know.

On the other hand, Tyler is all grown up now.

Tyler's a big boy with a speed of 1,905 gallopers

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

Just now, Olly said:

Tyler's a big boy with a speed of 1,905 gallopers

Yeah, I don't know what that means, but wasn't Tyler supposed to be a crossbow?

[Olly 1,011]

2 minutes ago, Ganaram Inukshuk said:

Yeah, I don't know what that means, but wasn't Tyler supposed to be a crossbow?

Well he has a small paddock and 1,746 beauty marks. Which is quite a few... Tyler is the true adonis of roosters 

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

1 minute ago, Olly said:

Well he has a small paddock and 1,746 beauty marks. Which is quite a few... Tyler is the true adonis of roosters 

"Food, food, food, food..."

[Olly 1,011]

7 minutes ago, Ganaram Inukshuk said:

"Food, food, food, food..."

My thoughts exactly 

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

Just now, Olly said:

My thoughts exactly 

Tyler's love meter and emoji meter are both at 35-ish percent...

[Olly 1,011]

26 minutes ago, Ganaram Inukshuk said:

Tyler's love meter and emoji meter are both at 35-ish percent...

But can he cross the road

[Haven Celestii 9,385]

On 9/7/2018 at 7:37 PM, Artemis said:

It's something I had been dealing with my whole life. For the most part I was able to keep it under control until recently, when it became overwhelming. There wasn't anything to face, really. My anxiety didn't stem from anything external or any insecurities I had, it was just there all the time. So I finally talked to a doctor about it and got put on medication for it. Sertraline, which is the generic form of Zoloft. Works great. Makes me feel like my normal self, minus the horrible emotional background noise.

I never actually pegged you for being one to have anxiety issues. You always seem so chill and level-headed through most shenanigans. 

 

At least, from what I remember back at BronyCon, that is.

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

On 9/7/2018 at 7:45 PM, Olly said:

But can he cross the road

I dunno; asphalt roads don't exist in ScapeScape...

@Miss H while you're here, you think you can recommend me a story I can scramble-- I mean, uhh, analyze with my new and improved Markov Text Generator?

[Creamy Arty 6,252]

7 hours ago, Miss H said:

I never actually pegged you for being one to have anxiety issues. You always seem so chill and level-headed through most shenanigans. 

 

At least, from what I remember back at BronyCon, that is.

The way I typically describe it to people is to imagine yourself with a friend at a restaurant or a bar, having a conversation. You might mishear a few words and you might have to shout at each other over the background noise of music and dishes and other people talking and laughing, but you can still do it. Best analogy I can come up with to my emotional state. I can be somewhere with somebody, anybody, and I can be having a genuinely good time with them, but the whole time we're together I've got a bunch of emotional background noise. A pinch of sadness, fear, self-loathing, and uncertainty all rolled together and trying to take over the situation. It's a bit maddening, especially since I know that there's no reason for me to feel those things. If I ever seemed a bit aloof or antisocial back in the day, this is why.

 

Anxiety and depression are often bedfellows and I had both of them, and to an extreme extent that I managed to conceal pretty well for a long time. "Fake it 'til you make it." I'm sure you've heard that before. After 29 years of it though, it eventually bested me, and almost any time I wasn't at work I was a worrying, crying wreck. My girlfriend would come home some evenings and I'd just hug her and start crying. Crying over nothing most of the time, and sometimes over a bunch of trivial things that shouldn't have been anywhere near that unsettling. That's partially why I waited so long to get treated for it. I kept trying to find causes for the way I was feeling so I could address them, but there weren't any "causes," in a circumstantial sense. My brain is just broken that way. Amanda was very supportive throughout all of it and I'm indescribably grateful.

You may also remember that I used to drink heavily. Were we ever together at any point during a convention when I didn't have a drink in my hand? Despite never developing an addiction, it was a form of "self-medication," which I didn't even recognize until I started taking this medication and got rid of the anxiety. Suddenly I didn't care so much about drinking anymore, although I still do it and enjoy it. It's just not a common thing for me anymore. Used to get stoned as fuck all the time too but that was more effective against my crippling depression than the anxiety. Don't need that so much either nowadays. Still do it for fun on occasion though, in great moderation.

[Olly 1,011]

Apparently we've gone full Film Noir. And this is okay with me

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

Guess there's no point in explaining my own problems if someone has it worse than I do. Had to come to that conclusion once before...

2 hours ago, Olly said:

Apparently we've gone full Film Noir. And this is okay with me

I don't get it and reminds me of this:

 

[Olly 1,011]

1 hour ago, Ganaram Inukshuk said:

Guess there's no point in explaining my own problems if someone has it worse than I do. Had to come to that conclusion once before...

I don't get it and reminds me of this:

 

More like:

 

[Haven Celestii 9,385]

19 hours ago, Artemis said:

The way I typically describe it to people is to imagine yourself with a friend at a restaurant or a bar, having a conversation. You might mishear a few words and you might have to shout at each other over the background noise of music and dishes and other people talking and laughing, but you can still do it. Best analogy I can come up with to my emotional state. I can be somewhere with somebody, anybody, and I can be having a genuinely good time with them, but the whole time we're together I've got a bunch of emotional background noise. A pinch of sadness, fear, self-loathing, and uncertainty all rolled together and trying to take over the situation. It's a bit maddening, especially since I know that there's no reason for me to feel those things. If I ever seemed a bit aloof or antisocial back in the day, this is why.

 

Anxiety and depression are often bedfellows and I had both of them, and to an extreme extent that I managed to conceal pretty well for a long time. "Fake it 'til you make it." I'm sure you've heard that before. After 29 years of it though, it eventually bested me, and almost any time I wasn't at work I was a worrying, crying wreck. My girlfriend would come home some evenings and I'd just hug her and start crying. Crying over nothing most of the time, and sometimes over a bunch of trivial things that shouldn't have been anywhere near that unsettling. That's partially why I waited so long to get treated for it. I kept trying to find causes for the way I was feeling so I could address them, but there weren't any "causes," in a circumstantial sense. My brain is just broken that way. Amanda was very supportive throughout all of it and I'm indescribably grateful.

You may also remember that I used to drink heavily. Were we ever together at any point during a convention when I didn't have a drink in my hand? Despite never developing an addiction, it was a form of "self-medication," which I didn't even recognize until I started taking this medication and got rid of the anxiety. Suddenly I didn't care so much about drinking anymore, although I still do it and enjoy it. It's just not a common thing for me anymore. Used to get stoned as fuck all the time too but that was more effective against my crippling depression than the anxiety. Don't need that so much either nowadays. Still do it for fun on occasion though, in great moderation.

That's actually a pretty good way to explain it. Its odd how much sense it actually makes, tbh lmao.

aye, I do remember you drinking quite a bit. I actually remember being stoked to hang with ya because I knew you could handle your drinks like a champ and I just like to hang with party people. (Sadly, I never got to hang around the berrytube people and you, but at least I got your chill side with a little drinking thanks to the Bartrot.)

 

That all said, its good to hear you've got everything under control now though. Drinking/drugs and your anxiety/depression. Better to have all that bad shit gone or lowered than to be using anything harmful to cope.

Sadly, I cant say the same as I just drink to be drunk and get high just to go to fucking mars, oops. Prolly also an alcoholic, so double oops.

Edited September 10, 2018 by Miss H

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

Had a terrible day, but who's counting?

[Olly 1,011]

somber rain on ganaram 

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

6 hours ago, Olly said:

somber rain on ganaram 

Yeah, that's basically it, but there's also a dentist appointment somewhere in there, too...

[Summer Storm 256]

@Artemis That is the best description of anxiety + depression this pony has ever read!  You certainly have a gift for communication!  Thanks a bunch for sharing all that.  Talk about cool!  =)

Honor and fun,

Summer Storm =)

[Olly 1,011]

 Talks about depression                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Smiley faces everywhere

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

1 minute ago, Olly said:

 Talks about depression                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Smiley faces everywhere

I mean, what other option is there? 

[Olly 1,011]

Just now, Ganaram Inukshuk said:

I mean, what other option is there? 

pssssssh... nothing personnel kid

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

6 minutes ago, Olly said:

pssssssh... nothing personnel kid

I wanna work on my program so bad...

[Olly 1,011]

Just now, Ganaram Inukshuk said:

I wanna work on my program so bad...

why don't you?