Pony humor 101

[Argumedies 1,748]

OK everypony. Ive had enough of all the negitivity lately so as our favorite pink party pony said. Give us a smile and since we've ponified everything so why not a few good jokes.

 

So I want to hear/read your best *and worst* ponified jokes.

 

Just keep um *semi* clean... (you can PM me all the dirty lil dashy jokes though)

 

So to start things off I give you this...enjoy

 

 

 

A pony was getting a manecut prior to a trip to Canterlot. She mentioned the trip to the stylist who responded, "Canterlot? Why would anypony want to go there?

 

It's crowded & dirty and full of Unicorns You're crazy to go to Canterlot

 

So, how are you getting there?"

 

"We're taking The Equestrian Express" was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

 

"The Equestrian Express?" exclaimed the stylist. "That's terrible. Their trains are old, their attendants are ugly, and they're always late.

 

So, where are you staying in Canterlot?"

 

"We'll be staying at in a suite at Canterlot Castle

 

"That dump! That's the worst place in all of Equestria. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced.

 

So, whatcha doing when you get there?"

 

"We're going to go tour the Castle and we hope to see the Princess."

 

"That's rich," laughed the stylist. "You and a thousand other ponies trying to see her. She'll look the size of an ant. Girl, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

 

A month later, the pony again came in for her regular manecut. The stylist asked him about his trip to Canterlot.

 

"It was wonderful," explained the pony, "not only were we on time in one of Equestria's brand new trains, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a wonderful old stewardess who waited on my every need

 

And the Castle-it was great! They'd just finished an outstanding remodeling job and I had the finest suite in the whole Castle.

 

"Well," muttered the stylist, "I know you didn't get to see the Princess."

 

"Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Castle, a Royal Guard nudged me on the shoulder and explained that the Princess likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into her private room and wait for her, she would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later the Princess walked through the door and shook my hoof! I knelt down as she spoke a few words to me."

 

"Really?" asked the stylist. "What'd she say?"

 

She said, "Where'd you get the horrible manecut?

[CutenessOverload 52]

this is not not a joke, it's a comic strip but anyways it's hilarous

when i saw it first time i nearly fell off my saddle, lololol

[DaReaper 1,943]

K so a pony goes up to a bar, orders a drink, the bartender asked "why the long face?"

God should have seen that one a mile away and another

 

A Zebra a donkey and a changling walk into a bar....ouch

 

A Pony and a Zebra get into a cart accident and it's a bad one. Both carts are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither are hurt. They crawl out of their carts and the Pony sees the Zebra's mane and says, "So you're a zebra. I'm a pony. Just look at our carts. There's nothing left but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from Celestia. Celestia must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days." And the Zebra said, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from Celestia."

And the pony said, "and look at this. Here's another miracle. My cart is completely demolished but this bottle of hard cider didn't break, surely Celestia wants us to drink this hard cider and celebrate our good fortune. And so he handed the bottle to the Zebra. The zebra said he agreed, took a few big swigs, and handed the bottle back to the Pony. The pony took the bottle, didn't drink at all, put the cap on, and handed it back to the zebra. The zebra asked, "aren't you going to have any?" And the pony replied, "No . . . I think I'll just wait for the police."