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Fan Fiction Derpy's Letters!


Sheogorath
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I made a story that I will illustrate for Christmas in comic form, but I would like some feedback before I go forth with it all! So those of you who don't mind a little read, please ^^ Thank you!

 

Derpy's Letters!

 

Old Pegasus pony lady in ponyville lives out her retirement days in a small hovel as she is too old to live in the clouds anymore, Her wings too old and weak to carry her from cloud to another. Once a week She gets a letter from her old friend from another town, and Derpy delivers the said letter to her in the evening, as she lives nearby herself. Then this one day, Derpy brings her a letter in the usual time on a cold rainy fall evening. Old lady invites Derpy in for a few muffins as usual and then opens the letter she has taken to her habit to read with Derpy because her old eyes are bad and she needs help on occasion for reading the small letters.

 

But this time the letter is different. It is the child of her friend, letting Mrs. Cloudsong know

that her friend has passed on.

Old Mrs. Cloudsong, now widowed, her children far away in another country, is left alone as last of

her friend has passed on. She Tells Derpy " Oh dear, I think this is last time you need to come by my

door child. It seems this was the last letter from my friend Aria"

Derpy looks at Cloudsong a little confused and then hugs her. After that she spends some time there

talking about her day and what silly things happened at her work.

As sun sets she heads to her own home and on the way home she stops by a lamp post as if the light

from it gave her an idea.

 

The next week, at the usual time Old lady Cloudsong again hears a knock on her door and wonders to

herself "That poor child, she must have forgotten and mistaken someone else letter as mine" She walks to the door ready to explain to Derpy the situation again. But to her surprise as she opens the door Derpy is there with an envelope that has clumsy bright colored crayon letters on it spelling simply

"Mrs. Cluodsung" And a smileyface. Derpy then exclaims with the letter in her mouth with happy look on

her face "I BWOUF 'UU A VV~E'-ER!" Mrs. Cloudsong Invites Derpy in with gobsmacked expression on her aged pony face and then puts the tea kettle on the stove and Derpy sets the letter on the table with her tail swishing impatiently. Old lady opens the letter carefully not to tear the slightly wrinkled up envelope and looks at the letter that is riddled with crayoned rainbows and hearts, in middle of it all reads with big bold letters "Hello Mrs. Cloudsong! I am writting you this letter with all my bestest efforts. I am sorry for the mistake but I can't write straight very well! yesterday I saw Mr Boxxy at the shipping docks and he had a band aid on his nose that made it look like he had mustashe! I laughed a little too hard and dropped a box by accident, it went CRASH... Then it made a pretty jingling sound."

 

Mrs. Cloudsong looked up to Derpy who was stuffing a muffin in her mouth, with moved smile on her face and then Derpy swallowed the muffin and said "I Made the letters all big and easy to read" A week passed and again Derpy brought her a letter and they resumed their tradition of talking about things Cloudsong did as a young singer pony in the Stormberg opera and theatre and how Derpy's day went.

 

Then came a holiday week and derpy again was heading to Cloudsingers house, after knocking on the

door a few times she decided to look Cloudsinger is at home and saw her in her bed though the bedroom window. She knocked on the window and shouted through the window "Mrs. Cloudsinger! Wake up! I brought you a letter!" The glass pane got misted over and Derpy rubbed it clean to see Mrs. Cloudsong still in bed, unmoving. She decided to knock a bit louder and try to wake her up.

 

After about an hour of trying she sat next to window to wait if Cloudsong would wake up on her own.

When the sun had set, she was shivering and cold, still watching over her old friend until she decided that no matter how sleepy Cloudsong might be, that is not normal. Then spreading her stiff from cold wings she flapped them a bit to warm the muscles up and shake the frost off the feathers.

 

Soon after she was headed off to Nurse Redhearts clinic.There she soon managed to catch Redheart and explained to her hastily "Mrs. Cloudsong is awfully tired, she must be sick or something, I didn't get her wakened even after a lot and a lot of trying" Upon hearing that Nurse Redheart got a worried look on her face and said "I'll grab my first aid bag and we can go there right away, Nurse Tenderheart can take over the duty for me.

 

As they arrived to Cloudsongs little house, nurse redheart tried knocking too just to see if Cloudsong would respond, soon giving up on the attempt though with Derpy looking over with concerned look on her face under the porch light.

Redheart then bucked the door open and went straight to bedroom where she found cloudsong in bed, looking peaceful and as if she was sleeping. Redheart looked for pulse with her muzzle pressed against Cloudsongs neck, then as she felt none she concluded from the layer of dust on her eyeglasses Old Mrs Cloudsong had been dead a few days at least. Derpy walked in and Asked "Mrs Cloudsong, are you all right? I was worried so I got Ms. Redheart just in case! I'm sorry about the door." Redheart looked at Derpy and reached to hold her then a little in a hug. She then silently told her that Cloudsong was not going to wake up again. Derpy said "Oh, like mom when she went to bed at the hospital too?" Redheart then nodded, yes, she is dead Ms. Doo. You better go home, you've been out in the cold very long, I will take care of Mrs. Cloudsong and see that-" Derpy interrupted Redheart with a sobbing "No, I want to read her letter to her! I brought her a letter! She always loved the letters!"

Redheart nodded and let Derpy further in the room, where Derpy opened the letter and started to read it to Cloudsong. "Hello Again Mrs. Cloudsong! this week I have been really busy with the Holiday cards and packages! I have been really good this year so I wonder if I'll get a nice present. I didn't even misplace anything big this month so Mr. Boxxy is happy and even gave me a pat on the back! Dinky is doing fine she just went to visit grammy..."

 

The next day Derpy is sitting in her little beat up armchair when there suddenly is a knock on her door. She goes to open it and nurse Redheart is there, with a sad smile on her face, she hands Derpy a little box and a letter.

Derpy then looks at it and wonders to Redheart "You deliver mail too?!" Redheart shakes her head with "This was found in Cloudsongs nightstand. It was addressed to you, same as the gift box."

Derpy accepts the box and letter after thanking Redheart, she then walks to kitchen and opens the letter:

"My darling young Ms. Doo, I felt that since you have written me so many letters it was about the time that you received one too. For so long you have brought me not only letters, but also joy and laughter, the gifts of kindness and caring above and beyond any pony could ask for. All those times you staid long after your workday to talk with me, helped me to carry my shoppings, tended my garden with me, or just shared a muffin you made my heart feel so young and loved again. It was as if having my children with me again.

Your innocent smile and your delightful stories brought sunshine to even rainiest days and smile that reached all the way in my soul. Now upon this holiday, I made you a gift to keep your back and wings as warm as you have kept me with your company, I hope it fits! It is your favourite colour and I even embroidered your initials to it in case you happen to misplace it, soit will always find its way back to you.

Happy holidays my young friend! I'll see you again after holiday festivities, because your own grand mom will surely miss you as much as I will if you do not go there with Dinky. Thank you and stay warm, it is a cold winter this year!

Your loving friend: Sunny Cloudsinger"

 

Derpy sets the letter down and wipes away her tears that had started flowing as she read the letter. Then she opens the gift wrapped in silver paper with bubble print on it and pulls out a pea-green woolen cape out of it. On the corner of it is two golden D's after her real name embroidered on it.

Derpy wraps the cape around her and curls into it on the floor, whispering silently "Thank you, it is very warm"

  • Brohoof 3
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Aaaaw... What a sad and adorable fanfic you have written.

-Where will you be uploading the comic form ?

 

When it is done :P Having a dayjob puts these kind of projects to unstable release rate. But It'll be before Christmas. :o

Thank you for reading!

Edited by Pencils
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When it is done :P Having a dayjob puts these kind of projects to unstable release rate. But It'll be before Christmas. :o

Thank you for reading!

 

I didn't ask you about when, i asked you about where you will upload it :P
  • Brohoof 2
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Rather heartwarming, I'd say. ;)

 

Perfect length for a comic project, I'd say. I'll be looking forward to seeing the final product!

 

edit: oh wow, just took a look at your DA page... after taking a look at the drawings you've got up, I'm really looking forward to seeing the final comic!

Edited by Zoop
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(I found a few grammar errors)

 

I am a Finn, my native language is Finnish. The grammar errors are very likely and to be expected. I would appreciate. even prefer if you would point them out for me so I can improve my English skills. :P

Edited by Pencils
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