I could have sent her back: A Deconstruction of MLD

[Mand'alor Dash 2,224]

Yes, I am expecting this story to be controversial. It's a deconstruction, so that's kind of the point.

 

I could have sent her back (Formally known as "I'm here, Dashie," but retitled due to people missing the point) is a dark retooling of the original My Little Dashie intended to call attention to the flaws of the original, and attempt to answer the question of how it all would have happened in the real world. (With the understanding that the "real world" is connected to Equestria, in this case.)

 

The story is formatted like a diary, with each "chapter" being an entry written either by the human protagonist, or by Rainbow Dash herself.

 

Expect a dark, edgy, detailed story, and one that I will try to update at least daily.

 

Edit: removed the link due to site rules. You can still find it on my fimfic profile, though.

 

Sorry about that.

Edited November 13, 2015 by Mand'alor Dash

[Deesinn 393]

I've always found it strange how in these fan fics the protagonist says they will become the father or mother to these filly ponies.  To me, if I found a filly rainbow dash, I would see it more as a pet/friend or something before a daughter.  I think a good story would be finding the filly, calling it and having that association to it as a pet at first, but slowly molding the relationship into one of a parent/child through different emotionally charged events through the life of that filly, thus changing the protagonists mind about their relationship.  

 

Anyways, I think it's cool how you actually hit RD with a car, it makes the situation seem more dire, and actually gives you a reason to take it home and nurse it back to health, not because you're some desperate loser that can't be social with other humans, so you fill in that gap with a pony you randomly find on the street.   

 

The diary idea is neat to, we get the illusion that this story is more personal and secretive, like we're getting a look right into his mind, day by day, almost living the events in real time with him.

 

I'm interested to see what happens next. 

[Mand'alor Dash 2,224]

I've always found it strange how in these fan fics the protagonist says they will become the father or mother to these filly ponies.  To me, if I found a filly rainbow dash, I would see it more as a pet/friend or something before a daughter.  I think a good story would be finding the filly, calling it and having that association to it as a pet at first, but slowly molding the relationship into one of a parent/child through different emotionally charged events through the life of that filly, thus changing the protagonists mind about their relationship. 

Thank you so very much for the critique/praise! Pretty please, don't ever be shy about posting comments like these! I live off of feedback, and always love to see that somepony has enough of an interest in my work to tell me what they think!

 

And trust me, what's yet to come will not disappoint!

 

That's not a bad Idea you have, but I think that, to the fic's credit, you can't really keep a sentient animal as a pet in any real capacity. Man's relationship to his pet is one that is very much "master and underling," even if it is a legitimately loving, caring relationship.

 

As soon as the animal in question has the capacity to think and speak, I feel that that sort of dynamic starts to break down, and you do start to see it more as an equal than you do a pet, at least on some level.

 

I like to use Mordin Solus from Mass Effect 2 as the test for this sort of thing. To paraphrase, "If at least one member of a given species is capable of calculus, then the species is intelligent."

 

So, while you're probably 100% right that the idea to make Rainbow Dash play the role of "daughter" instead or "pet" was most likely born out of "some desperate loser that can't be social with other humans, so you fill in that gap with a pony you randomly find on the street," I do feel that, regardless of origin, the daughter role makes better cultural sense than the pet role does, even if that role were to change later on in the story.

Edited January 30, 2014 by Mandalore Dash

[Mand'alor Dash 2,224]

Bumping 'cause I finally finished it... It's been a while.