writing Stories I've written thus far

[Zhortac 1,474]

http://zhortac.deviantart.com/gallery/11035701

 

Thought I'd stick this here. I've always wanted feedback on some of my writtings, since I think it's probably my strongest art form. I don't mind feedback on anything I've done.

 

Word of warning; the MST's are of graphic stories, so read only at your own risk. Otherwise, ignore them since I mostly wanted feedback on my stories.

[Naught Important 434]

From skimming over the previews and reading the titles, my attention isn't captured at all.

Now, I am not saying that the whole story in itself is horrible, but I am one for originality, and that is not what I see from these titles. That, for me, being an instant turn-off.

This is going to sound like I'm judging a book by its cover, literally, but first impressions are absolutely nessisary for an interested reader.

 

"Sword to Slay Dragons" sounds like the most casual Lord of the Rings / Usual fantasy story I've heard of.

"The land divided by the races of Elves, Dwarves, Dragons, Humans, Gnomes, Lizards, and Mermaids.  Though divided equally, there has been fighting between the different races for hundreds of years."

Seriously? Are you even trying? Forgive my bashful nature on this, but Come on! All of these mythical races have been used trillions upon trillions of times! Try something new, and I'll get back to you on that.

 

The same goes for "Starlight against the Darkness". That sounds like anything but something you would write professionally. It does sound like something you'd see a child post on Deviantart, as the concept of a teenager fighting with evil (Assuming that is what is to take place) is just about the most annoying concept to me. And, considering you smashed in a ton of foreign names that do not fit with the language you are using, I feel like something is wrong there.

 

As for the Origin series, it makes more sense, as you use the term "Origin" correctly. However, I still feel most of the concepts lack originality. Gods of Evil, Chaos, practically anything I haven't seen twenty times before.

 

If you want to appeal to many people, I suggest switching some things up. If you want more clarification, I can give as much as I can. There are also a few very petty grammatical errors I spotted but didn't touch on completely. Those mostly just include punctuation, though.

Still, I don't see much interesting content there.