Ask Discord!

[ZomBrony 347]

are you afraid to take the stage?

[WildCard 1,037]

Tough Iam a fan of the mane6 I have to admit you are a cool villian and I really like your creativity

So my question to you is: Have you something to do with those ponies whose actions always end in chaos(like the CMC or me xD)?

[ZomBrony 347]

are you missing any pieces of your heart? (I'm asking theses questions based of the songs I'm listening to)

[Yellow Diamond 7,574]

*flashes into view*

 

What's this? I leave my thread unattended for one whole day and this is all you bronies can muster? Please. You're wasting valuable time asking Applejack what her favorite color is or if Pinkie Pie will marry you. No matter what you ask those ponies, you will always be disappointed. But not with me.

 

*yawn*

 

Very well, then. Let's get to the questions.

 

When you go to bed, do you cover up with the mattress and lie on the blanket?

 

For a draconequus such as myself, asking about my sleeping habits is a rather silly question---hence why I love it! You see, I never sleep, for if I were to do so, disharmony would cease to spread. And you know how they say you can't sleep on the job. I'm not a slacker.

 

Then again, if it is my job to spread chaos, then shouldn't I defy that by not spreading chaos? But then I would have to spread chaos in order to contradict not spreading chaos because it is my job to spread chaos. Oops! It seems I've initiated a paradox! How unfortunate. Well, I suppose that proves there is no easy answer.

 

For the time being, I practically sleep on stone. Yet another reason to turn Celestia's mane into cotton candy once I am free again.

 

What is your opinion on whales and other aquatic mammals?

 

Have you ever drained the entire ocean and placed it into a single drinking cup? You really should! Your opinion of aquatic creatures would increase dramatically based upon your amusement at seeing a whale squeezed against an annoyed swordfish.

 

Hey Discord, you going to the omnipotent being convention this year? It's taking place just outside the fifth dimension and I hear that Dr. Manhattan, Bat-Mite, Q, Anthony Fremont, and Winston Niles Rumfoord are all going. I'm thinking about going to be, eh, I might not. I'm definitely going if your going though, last year you where the life of the party!

 

Sorry to hear you're back in stone and all, that sucks, but at least you got a cool thread, right?

Anyway, take care buddy,

 

-Arceus

 

Thank you for the words of encouragement, Arceus. Indeed, this thread has lifted my spirits a great deal despite my imprisonment. I feel like some sort of freedom fighter shackled by an unjust government. Viva La Revolución, my little bronies! Spreak truth to power and what not.

 

First of all, I never attend a party or gathering: I crash it. Second, there is no fifth dimension; there is a skip between the fourth and sixth. Anyone who is anyone knows that fact. Lastly, I wouldn't be caught dead with those stiffs! Have you ever met Dr. Manhattan? Jon is too busy playing the apathetic god-like being to even bother with a good joke at the expense of lesser creatures. Ask him a question and he is bound not to care. At all. That, my friend, does not make an omnipotent being interesting.

 

Except for Q. Now there's a dashing rogue. He and I are like brothers, dimension hopping and reality warping on a whim. I should get him to pay Equestria a visit. If only he weren't so obsessed with you humans.

 

Aren't you more of a cameria? (part lion, part deer. Part snamke, ect.)

 

I will say this only once: I am a draconequus. Not a monster, not a cameria, and certainly not a super goat. Call me that and I can assure you that you will find out quickly what it's like to swim inside the aforementioned ocean placed in a cup.

 

are you afraid to take the stage?

 

Afraid? Do I look afraid, XxZom... I'm not even going to bother with the rest of your name. Too many Xs.

 

Tough Iam a fan of the mane6 I have to admit you are a cool villian and I really like your creativity

So my question to you is: Have you something to do with those ponies whose actions always end in chaos(like the CMC or me xD)?

 

A good question, Wildcard. By the way, I applaud you on finessing your hero worship of the ponies with some praise for me. I simultaneously feel like throwing up while grinning at myself in the mirror. Perhaps I can do one after the other.

 

I can't speak for every case of disharmony, but I do take quite a bit of pride in chaos theory and ripple effects. Even long after my temporary defeat, the effects of my reign can be seen and felt all across Equestria. Those little fillies you mentioned are subconsciously aspiring to take after their Uncle Discord. I've been watching them closely, you see, and it is clear that very soon the three of them will contain enough residual chaotic power to loose me from my prison and increase my strength ten, no, one hundred fold! I will then be completely unstoppable!

 

...

 

Just kidding. They're just silly fillies. You're making your own messes; I just happen to enjoy watching them. I can tell by your priceless expression that you actually bought that whole "latent chaos power" bit of mine! Ha!

 

are you missing any pieces of your heart? (I'm asking theses questions based of the songs I'm listening to)

 

I'm seriously considering throwing you into that ocean.

[Big Bill Hell 123]

Do you like chaotic music like grindcore and dubstep or is music; or art in general; an area in which you prefer only a minute amount of chaos?

[JappleackWithApples 34]

Did you name yoursel discord or was it somebody else? (cause discord sounds to villainy to even be a normal name)

[Akemi Homura 7,680]

How does it feel like to be trapped inside a statue for all eternity? Physically, I mean.

[TomokoKuroki 1,707]

Oh Hello there Discord. I was wondering how did it feel to have all that you wanted, and achieved in your life being taken away from you....two times?

 

I'll tell you that for me. It felt amazing imprisoning you in stone, and I think we are due for a very rainy month, it would be a shame is any bit of you eroded, you make a nice trophy in the gardens.

 

​Your's truly, Celestia.

[Philomena 66]

Are you planning a revenge on the Elements of Harmony?

( You'll be free out of that stone................... somehow )

Edited March 14, 2012 by Philomena

[Apollo 297]

Hey Discord. You and my mom Celestia go way back, right? Why is she such a troll?

Edited March 14, 2012 by Apollo

[Yellow Diamond 7,574]

Buona sera, bronies! I see I have a few more questions on my plate. How wonderful!

 

Do you like chaotic music like grindcore and dubstep or is music; or art in general; an area in which you prefer only a minute amount of chaos?

 

I have no particular preference in music. Why make life difficult by dividing everything into genres? I also don't have much interest in listening to some emo kids prattle on about how their lives are awful. Want to live an awful life? Piss off your sister and have her dump you on the moon. Now that's drama.

 

If you are truly interested, I do love a good remix or two. Why, you may ask? Because it takes the original song and dumps it on its head, leaving but a trace of what it once was.

 

Did you name yoursel discord or was it somebody else? (cause discord sounds to villainy to even be a normal name)

 

Ah, it's you again! You're very persistent, aren't you? Tell me, how is your progress in the study of "secience"? I'd love to know how that's coming along. Quite a few of you bronies have unusual interests. In fact, I'd bet Twilight Sparkle's horn that one of you here has indulged in a clop fic or two. Come, now. No need to be shy. Love and tolerate, right? We can all be honest here!

 

But back to your question: I am the first and only one of my kind, so no one "named" me as if I were a newborn. I toyed around with several different titles: Chaos (overused), Disorder (that made me sound like I needed a shrink), and Strife (I'm not some sort of hipster political counter culture figure) were all possibilities. I settled on Discord after I put into practice one particularly nasty spell which... well, perhaps Celestia can fill you in on the details. Let's just say it made Fallout: Equestria look like 7th Heaven, except it never got into syndication.

 

How does it feel like to be trapped inside a statue for all eternity? Physically, I mean.

 

If you would happen to know the name of a good masseuse, I have a pencil and pad of paper armed and at the ready! I've got a crick in my neck like you wouldn't believe! Absolutely the most single uncomfortable thing in my---

 

Oh Hello there Discord. I was wondering how did it feel to have all that you wanted, and achieved in your life being taken away from you....two times?

 

I'll tell you that for me. It felt amazing imprisoning you in stone, and I think we are due for a very rainy month, it would be a shame is any bit of you eroded, you make a nice trophy in the gardens.

 

​Your's truly, Celestia.

 

...

 

Hello, Celestia.

 

I see you've finally gotten around to gloating about your most recent triumph. I must admit that I find it amazing you even bothered to come around here, let alone leave Canterlot for more than five minutes. Shouldn't you be busy, I don't know, tormenting your own kin or leaving your prized student and her friends out in the cold? That reminds me: where were you exactly when I was wreaking chaos across your beloved kingdom? Forming a strategy? Enjoying the view as I crushed the spirits of your star pupil? Why, if you hadn't relied on that shoddy gambit---I mean, come on! The letters? What kind of trick was that?---I would be living the high life, sipping chocolate milk while Equestria imploded! Really! I completely had the run of your entire world for 3/4 of those two episodes, and then all of a sudden you had to yank that stupid, thieving, downright lame trick right out of that tub you call a flank!

 

...

 

I'm sorry. What was the question again? Oh, you're wondering how I'm doing. Quite well, all things considered. If you could, please keep the birds off my nose. I'm terribly allergic.

 

Are you planning a revenge on the Elements of Harmony?

( You'll be free out of that stone................... somehow )

 

I think my previous answer also covers this one. Next!

 

Hey Discord. You and my mom Celestia go way back, right? Why is she such a troll?

 

A good question, my dear. First, I must express my amusement in Celestia having illegitimate offspring. Oh, now! Don't pout! Just know that your 2,000 year old mother has the pick of the litter up there in fabled Canterlot! It's natural for any monarch.

 

I suspect your mother might be a troll based on a combination of factors:

 

1) She hates herself.

2) Disharmony is clearly superior to harmony, so she outsources her job to her subjects.

3) She's lazy.

4) She sleeps around. Oops! How did that one get on the list?

5) Your mommy knows full well that, at the first opportunity, I will transform her into a fire hydrant and teleport her into a kennel.

6) She's jealous of my swag.

 

But what do I know? I've merely thrashed her kingdom two times all on my lonesome.

[Akemi Homura 7,680]

Oh Hello there Discord. I was wondering how did it feel to have all that you wanted, and achieved in your life being taken away from you....two times?

 

Don't forget Princess... it was my friends and I that stopped Discord, not you :/

[Apollo 297]

Cake or pie?

[JappleackWithApples 34]

Well sense we are on the topic of science (and yes thats how it spelled. My weakness is indeed spelling. Thats why i dont use magic) i might as well show you something.

Have you ever wondered if you cam transform some pony without magic?

Well i got your solution right here!

Behold! The chickenator! It turns anypony into a chicken! Watch me turn pinkie pie into a chicken!

Pinkie pie: hey how is every...

*turns pinkie pie into a chicken*

And there you go!

The best part is this weapon of mine is solar powered and luna powered. Not even clestia can handel it!

[Zalgo 593]

So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is “wut r u doing wit my daughter?” U tell ur girl n she say “my dad is ded”. THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

[Jokuc 8,174]

Mailmare was defeated by Feld0 at April 2nd, U mad?

[S.M.S. 8]

Mailmare was defeated by Feld0 at April 2nd, U mad?

 

LOL!

[Jokuc 8,174]

LOL!

 

 

 

I know, I'm awesome

 

 

Edited April 3, 2012 by Jokuc

[rainbowdash4ever 19]

Discord, have you ever heard of the planet Earth? If so, do you plan on causing chaos for the human race when you get free? I mean, we have absolutely no way of stopping you.

[ZomBrony 347]

How would you react to humans in Equestria?

 

Do you know anything about Interdimensional Teleportation? I thought you might because it sounds kind of chaotic

Edited April 8, 2012 by XxDerpDerpyxX (Zom)

[rainbowdash4ever 19]

Yeah, sounds chaotic to me. I wonder what you would do with it...

[ZomBrony 347]

Do you have anything to do with the glitchiness of my avatar?

[JappleackWithApples 34]

I AM BACK AND I GOT A GUN FOR YOU.

[Runty 41]

time to try confuse all powerful discord

So... One of the most well known traits of chaos is it is unpredictable, and yet as everypony in equestria predicted you were going to break out of stone statue and spread chaos (which is glorious by the way). So why is the embodiment of chaos completely predictable and therefore lacking in personal chaos? Besides... Wouldnt it help you a lot if you even pretended to be good, at least untill the time you could take control of equestria with much more ease?

Something else to contemplate: chaos runs the world, it cannot be stopped completely without stopping everything else... That means discord cannot be destroyed, yay!

[ZomBrony 347]

I have a better way to confuse him....

 

*Casts confusion spell*

 

How you like 'dem apples?