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Yellow Diamond

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Yellow Diamond

Yellow Diamond 7,564

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Hello, my little bronies! It is I, Discord, the Spirit of Disharmony and the King of Chaos! Having scoured your dreadfully boring forums for the past two minutes, I quickly discovered that none of you have created a thread dedicated to yours truly! How unfortunate! Am I not entertaining enough for you anymore? The season has not even finished and I'm already a thing of the past.

 

Well, no matter; I think we're just going to have to shake things up around here.

 

*snaps fingers*

 

So, then, you must all be dying to know what my thoughts are on anything and everything. Fire away at your leisure. I'll be hard to miss.

 

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Yellow Diamond
Yellow Diamond

Oh, Robojot! How wonderful to meet you at last! You now have the outstanding privilege of having your question answered by me!  "Low orbital friendship canon"? Is that some sort of religious cult fol

Key Gear
Key Gear

By Celestia... That answer... Wow...   Best Q & A thread ever.

Yellow Diamond
Yellow Diamond

An adoring fan! At last! The rest of you should take after Darkshadow's example and recognize that chaos is supreme!   But enough gloating. There is plenty of time for that later. You ask if I shall

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Key Gear

Key Gear 6,662

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Why did you hide the Elements of Harmony in Twilight's house? Were you really that confident that Twilight wouldn't undo your works of brilliant chaos?

 

Also, why didn't you take over Canterlot instead of Ponyville? Wouldn't Canterlot have made a better center of chaos?

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Yellow Diamond

Yellow Diamond 7,564

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what is your experience on getting hit by a low orbital friendship canon?

 

Oh, Robojot! How wonderful to meet you at last! You now have the outstanding privilege of having your question answered by me!

 

"Low orbital friendship canon"? Is that some sort of religious cult following Celestia around these days? I tell you, everyone thinks I'm the problem with Equestria; but look no further than your dear and wonderful leader to see why things are falling apart! I suppose 1,000 of constantly raising the sun and banishing your own sister to the moon would leave any pony ever so slightly delusional. If you ask me, it's about time a few ponies get their acts together and start leaving candy or other treats at the foot of my statue every once in a while...

 

...

 

Oooh! You meant cannon! Haha! That gave me quite a laugh, I must admit. You have some potential for chaos, my friend. To think I wasted an entire paragraph answering the wrong question based on your mistake! Don't feel bad, Robojot; you must be frowning right now, ashamed of yourself. But you succeeded in amusing me! Perhaps you bronies will be worth my time, after all.

 

As for the Elements of Harmony, it's like being struck with a soft, fluffy pillow, smothered by love and affection, which turns you into stone. In short: not very pleasant.

 

How is it to be stopped by 6 mares trough mere friendship?

 

Greetings, Neikos! A president, hmm? I would be careful of flaunting that title around Celestia. Between you and me, she's a bit sensitive about the whole "princess" thing.

 

"Mere friendship" might be putting it too lightly. Most friends cannot fire a beam of magic, no matter how hard they try. In my estimation, those mares cheated their way to a victory. Then again, I suppose they had to learn a lesson, now didn't they? It makes you wonder about Celestia having plotted this from the very beginning. Or maybe I did? You'll never know for sure!

 

By the way, did the font color hurt your eyes? Good. You deserve it after asking a question like that.

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Neikos

Neikos 968

Greetings, Neikos! A president, hmm? I would be careful of flaunting that title around Celestia. Between you and me, she's a bit sensitive about the whole "princess" thing.

 

"Mere friendship" might be putting it too lightly. Most friends cannot fire a beam of magic, no matter how hard they try. In my estimation, those mares cheated their way to a victory. Then again, I suppose they had to learn a lesson, now didn't they? It makes you wonder about Celestia having plotted this from the very beginning. Or maybe I did? You'll never know for sure!

 

By the way, did the font color hurt your eyes? Good. You deserve it after asking a question like that.

 

I found the colors quite appropriate, they reflected nicely what you were discussing in each paragraph. ( Except the last though. )

 

How can you cheat with Magic? Aren't there laws?

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Yellow Diamond

Yellow Diamond 7,564

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More questions! One wonders how I'll ever be able to keep up with all of this.

 

Why did you hide the Elements of Harmony in Twilight's house? Were you really that confident that Twilight wouldn't undo your works of brilliant chaos?

 

Also, why didn't you take over Canterlot instead of Ponyville? Wouldn't Canterlot have made a better center of chaos?

 

HAL 9000? An interesting name. Does it run in the family? Tell me, how is old HAL 8997 holding up these days?

 

The answer to your first question should be obvious: a feint within a feint is no feint at all; but three or four feints within a feint is a masterpiece of chaos, for it comes right back to its point of origin! Think of it like a double negative, if you will. Do you think Twilight, with all her intellect and planning, would have bothered to look around inside her own house for the Elements of Harmony? She took my very simple riddle and overanalyzed it. I could have said, "Look, the Elements of Harmony are behind that tree!" and poor Twilight would have drawn up a map, gathered her friends, obsessed over the plans, and never bothered to actually look because she thought it was some sort of trick. Which it probably was.

 

But that's beside the point.

 

The point being, HAL, is that Twilight is the source of her own frustrations. She's the perfect target for chaos! Too bad Celestia had this all planned from the start, as I stated previously. Again, one wonders...

 

As for Canterlot: who wants to hang around with those snobs? Ponyville is so rustic, so common! Besides, you should have been in Canterlot the first time I was loose. I'll give you a brief mental image: chocolate waterfalls. I wonder how long it took Celestia to clean that one up!

 

so what would happen if you took over the world?

 

You were watching, right? I did take over the world. For some guy who reviews games, you aren't very observant.

 

If you need me to spell it out, I am Discord. What do you think I would do?

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Yellow Diamond

Yellow Diamond 7,564

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(*bows to you*) master, will you ever return? If you did, will you steal the elements?

 

An adoring fan! At last! The rest of you should take after Darkshadow's example and recognize that chaos is supreme!

 

But enough gloating. There is plenty of time for that later. You ask if I shall ever return. Ask and you shall receive, Darkshadow! The Elements of Harmony can only keep me in one place for so long; sooner or later, however, disharmony will once again reign over Equestria. If two "all-powerful" princesses couldn't stop me forever, what makes anyone think a bunch of misguided mares can undo me? Absolutely nothing! I am unstoppable!

 

*thunder crashes while bolts of lightning streak through the sky*

 

Unfortunately, for the time being, I'm stuck as a statue. Those are the breaks, I'm afraid. I might have lost this game but rest assured: there will be plenty more to play in the future. I plan for the long-term, my friend.

 

What do you do to pass the time seeing as how your trapped in stone?

 

Hmm What a handsome avatar you have there

 

Oh, my! You are quite the flatterer, Pencil Sketches! You're not trying to butter me up for something, are you? That would be most unwise.

 

Passing time while trapped inside of stone is a torture onto itself. It is for this reason that I cannot fathom how you people adore Celestia and her happy little cohort. They're keeping me alive inside a stone prison! It's virtually like pouring cement into a coffin with someone left inside, howling and screaming for freedom! How brutal! How devious...

 

Now I have the urge to dump an unfortunate pony into a chocolate filled coffin and bury them in a cotton candy tomb. That only comes after I make them realize their friends have abandoned them. Anyone willing to be a volunteer for my amusement? Anyone? I'm not very picky.

 

What is the most effective way of waking up Rainbow Dash if you were Fluttershy?

 

Why would I want to be Fluttershy? Ugh! The Element of Kindness? Sheesh! I feel awful just thinking about it.

 

If I were to wake up Rainbow Dash, however, I would probably do so with a bucket of cold water gathered from the hurricane tearing Ponyville apart. Let's see her deal with that wakeup call!

 

Well you are seeing the very first pony who doesn't believe in god. An atheist and i can defy logic by the means of secience.

 

Are you implying I am a god? Really, you are too flattering. I am but a humble draconequus who just so happens to love a little disharmony here and a touch of disorder there. Take the god talk up with "Her Royal High and Mighty" Celestia, if you feel so inclined.

 

Your friend "atheist" sounds quite interesting. I've never heard of "secience", quite frankly, but if it can defy logic then I can't say I oppose it. Just make certain to leave the utter and total destruction of logic to the professionals. No one wants to see you kids get hurt.

 

On second thought, perhaps that last sentence was a tiny overstatement.

 

Do you hate filing cabinets?

 

You have no idea.

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Yellow Diamond

Yellow Diamond 7,564

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What have you done with my ship, Q?

 

It's quite simple, Jean-Luc. You were so---

 

...

 

I see what you did there, Devin, and I am not pleased.

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Nah

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Master, am I lost joining you? I am asking this, for I once was RD and held the pathetic element of loyalty, which now belongs to you?

 

am I lost?

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Yellow Diamond

Yellow Diamond 7,564

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How is it that are you answering questions on this thread now when you are stuck as a statue somewhere in Equestria?

 

I suppose this question was bound to come up sooner or later. To tell the truth, the details of the answer would likely confound you in such a way that you would come to regret having asked the question. But you bronies, being as obsessive as you are, should know full well how I am a puppet master; I enjoy pulling strings and watching all the ponies fall for it hook, line, and sinker. So if you really want to understand how I'm communicating from beyond the statue, know full well that I don't play by your rules. In fact, you're really playing by mine.

 

Besides, it wouldn't be any fun if I just rolled over and died! I think Celestia knows this, and that's why she keeps me locked up in stone rather than obliterating me with her magic.

 

Are there other Draconequuses out there, or are you the only one?

 

(best thread ever, by the way)

 

No need to be so shy about the fact that this thread is singlehandedly the best on this entire forum! That's quite obvious!

 

I haven't seen another draconequus, so I'm going to go out on a limb and state that I am one of a kind. Of course, we all thought alicorns were so super cool and original, too. But even the novelty of Celestia and Luna has its limits; I, on the other hand (or hoof), do not.

 

If you see another draconequus, tell him to take a hike! This is Discord country! No copycats allowed!

 

Master, am I lost joining you? I am asking this, for I once was RD and held the pathetic element of loyalty, which now belongs to you?

 

am I lost?

 

Your melodrama is beginning to bore me, Darkshadow. I love hero worship as much as the next all-powerful embodiment of chaos, but let's not be predictable. If you truly want to prove your loyalty to me, then simply take after what I do: spread disorder! Revel in it! If a pony stops you and starts whining about how you're not following the rules, tell that pony you know of only one rule. If he asks you what that rule is, flip his house upside down and fill it with ducks!

 

That is, of course, what I would do. You might need some work.

 

How can you cheat with Magic? Aren't there laws?

 

Pfft. Laws? Is somepony going to call the magic police and have me arrested? Will that one-trick pony Trixie be my pro bono attorney? The fact of the matter, Neikos, is that magic is the rule which allows one to break all other rules. Remember when Twilight lost her marbles during that whole "friendship report" ordeal? Had I not been freshly encased in stone, I would have been rolling on the floor in laughter! If only she got the point more often.

 

That's why, my little bronies, Twilight Sparkle is my favorite pony. I hope that preempts one of you and saves us all from boring questions.

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Victoria and Co.

Victoria and Co. 782

Hey Discord, you going to the omnipotent being convention this year? It's taking place just outside the fifth dimension and I hear that Dr. Manhattan, Bat-Mite, Q, Anthony Fremont, and Winston Niles Rumfoord are all going. I'm thinking about going to be, eh, I might not. I'm definitely going if your going though, last year you where the life of the party!

 

Sorry to hear you're back in stone and all, that sucks, but at least you got a cool thread, right?

Anyway, take care buddy,

 

-Arceus

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