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About this blog

Where I talk about all the stupid stuff that annoys me.

Entries in this blog

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Episode 83 - Entenmann's Boxes

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  Entenmann's boxes. I love Entenmanns's donuts, but the boxes are f*cking bullsh*t.  They're so hard to open.  I make a mess of them every time.  It's nearly impossible to open the box without destroying it.  I decided to just stop trying to salvage the box and just put the donuts in a ziplock bag.  It's just a box!  Why is it so difficult?!  And they're f*ckin' dangerous, too!  I got a surprisingly deep, nasty cut from the edge of one of those boxe
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Episode 82 - Half-Assed CGI

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  Half-assed CGI. No, I'm talking about the Scorpion King's head.  I'm talking about cheap, cheesy, slapped together 3D cartoons that are a dime a dozen.  I hate that stuff. In an attempt to satisfy my hunger for more cute, colorful, feminine cartoons like Pony, I decided to give Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir on Netflix a shot.  Immediately I could tell that it was one of these half-assed CGI cartoons.  The movements are jerky and
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Episode 81 - Foreign Stuff on Netflix

Alright, alright, easy, there.  Just cool your jets, chief.  This isn't what you probably think it is.  Just let me explain. Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When I see something I want to watch on Netflix, so I hit play, and then a few minutes in the actors start talking, and only then do I realize--it's not in English!  Just subtitled. Okay, now I have to take a detour.  See, I hate subtitles.  Can't watch anything with 'em.  This isn't some kind of xenophobic or racist thing, so
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Episode 80 - Yawning

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  Yawning.  I hate it.  It's so stupid.  What's the point?  There isn't any.  Yeah, I know, I know--I could research it and learn, but clearly it's stupid and we could do without it.  You know and I know it.  It doesn't accomplish anything.  I mean, clearly it's not integral to survival or something.  You don't feel differently or better afterwards.  I used to hear that it was because your body needs extra oxygen, but that's a load of bunk because I'll ta
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Episode 79 - Slow Motion Fails & Funnies

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  Slow motion in funny fail type videos, particularly physical humor like bicycle crashes or the like.  Slow motion is awesome in certain contexts.  It makes the mundane look epic and amazing, but it also completely kills humor.  Physical humor relies on timing, sudden events, and expectation of physics in realtime, not to mention normal sound.  Reducing a bicycle or skateboard crash to super slow mo destroys all comedic effect.  (Well, for me, at least.)
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Episode 78 - The Lutz

The last two entries were pretty serious.  Time for a silly one. Y'know what really grinds my gears?  The lutz.  I'm talkin' about this thing: And now you're going, "...what?  The f*ck?  What are you talking about?  Are you high right now?" Well, I told you it was silly. So, I'm a figure skater.  Or... at least, I once was.  I'd like to be again one day.  Point is, I actually did this stuff.  Well, single jumps, anyway.  That was as far as I got.  I was never very high leve
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Episode 77 - Litter

Continuing the theme from the last entry... Y'know what really grinds my gears?  Litter.  The tendency for humans to throw their f*cking garbage all over the place really steams my beans.  Okay, human life produces garbage.  That's just reality.  I understand that.  We really need to figure out how to produce less of it, and soon, but without Star Trek level tech, we're always going to produce trash, and that's just a fact of life.  What to do with it is a big problem as well, and we need b
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Episode 76 - Glitter

I'm sorry Rarity, and I'm sorry Pinkie, but I have to do this. Y'know what really grinds my gears?  Glitter.  Not just glitter, but also all disposable party decorations of any kind.  Streamers, balloons, etc.  Glitter's particularly annoying because it just makes a horrendous mess.  Glitter's also more of an arts and crafts materiel than a decoration, but I lump these things together because glitter always makes a mess and most of it gets thrown away.  I mean, if someone uses glitter on an
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Episode 75 - Hot Water Heaters

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  The phrase "hot water heater".  I hear that a lot.  Drives me nuts.  So... it heats hot water?  Is that what it does?  Really?  I got news for you, bub: if the water is hot... THEN IT DOESN'T NEED TO BE HEATED!! 
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Episode 74 - G5

I'm gonna say this only once.  Listen up, because, assuming that what we think we know about the G5 movie is accurate, this will by my first, last, and final word on G5, ever. Y'know what really grinds my gears?  The fact that anyone actually thought it would be a good idea to take the world of Equestria at the end of FIM, feed it to a hippopotamus, wait til the hippo takes a sh*t, then scoop up the sh*t, smear it all over a movie screen and call it good. Okay, what in Tartarus am I ta
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Episode 73 - You'll Never Get Away With This!

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears!  When the good guy says, "you'll never get away with this!", and the bad guy says, "I already have."  UGH.  It's the lamest, most overdone, cliche thing when they say, "I already have."  Ugh.  So dumb.
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Episode 72 - UI/Appearance Changes

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  THIS.  THIS F*CKIN' SH*T.  Logging into the forums to find it looking completely different.  I know I already did an entry on change in general, but I just had to do this one.  I cannot describe how much I hate UI and appearance changes to things when they were fine the way they were and we were all used to it.  I HATE adapting to appearance changes in software.  I hate logging into to something I use regularly like this and feeling totally disoriented
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Episode 52 - Accidentally Eating Your Hair

Okay, so only people with really long hair are gonna get this one. Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When you're eating, and a single one of your hairs falls down in front of you and dangles in the food, and you don't realize it, and then you scoop up a bite of food with the fork, and you scoop the hair right along with it and put it all in your mouth, and then you start to chew and feel a tugging on your hair, and you trace the hair down your cheek with your finger and realize you've f*
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Episode 39 - When Computers Can't Count

OMG, this one's the worst. Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When some computers and devices can't count properly.  Okay, so if you're titling a bunch of files, and you number them, and then you sort by name, you'd expect them to appear in numerical order, right?  I mean, that's how it works.  Like, if you're using Windows, and you have a folder full of pictures from your camping trip, you can select all of them, and retitle the first one "Camp", and then it will automatically retitle al
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Episode 7 - Reboot Titles

Hey.  You know what really grinds my gears? Reboot titles. We all know that Hollywood shoots out reboots like a rapid-fire crap machine.  Some of them are actually good and warranted, though.  Many are grave injustices.  But what annoys me to no end is when they give the reboot the exact same title as the original!  No subtitle, nothing to differentiate it!  This drives me f*ckin nuts, because you constantly have to describe which one you're talking about.  Dates are ascribed to movies
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