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About this blog

Where I talk about all the stupid stuff that annoys me.

Entries in this blog

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Episode 52 - Accidentally Eating Your Hair

Okay, so only people with really long hair are gonna get this one. Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When you're eating, and a single one of your hairs falls down in front of you and dangles in the food, and you don't realize it, and then you scoop up a bite of food with the fork, and you scoop the hair right along with it and put it all in your mouth, and then you start to chew and feel a tugging on your hair, and you trace the hair down your cheek with your finger and realize you've f*
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Episode 51 - Restaurant Remodels

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  How they keep remodeling restaurants these days to be all bland and contemporary while taking out all of the theming and charm. I dunno if this is just a regional thing, and it's probably just a U.S. thing, so this won't be relevant to everyone.  I'm gonna focus on three big chain restaurants as examples. I've been a regular customer of Black Angus steakhouse for almost 30 years, and I've always loved the atmosphere.  It manages to upscale whi
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Episode 50 - Forced Tutorials

Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When video games force you into a tutorial.  Like, they make you go through a whole dammed crafting tutorial or something, and you have to make the thing they want you to make, and click on every single thing they tell you to, and there's absolutely no way to bypass it.  Just leave me alone and let me play the damn game!  I just want to experiment and learn on my own, ya piece a sh*t!  Where applicable, tutorials should be made available for players
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Episode 49 - Pushy Employees

My spidey-sense tell me that this one is gonna get me in some hot water.... but f*ck it; I'm doin' it anyway. Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When employees in retail stores get too pushy and intrusive with their questions.  I hate it when they ask questions that try to trap you into a complex response: "What brought you in today?  What are you looking for?"  Buzz off, will you?  And the worst is when they hover outside of a fitting room and ask you if the clothes fit right and how the
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Episode 48 - Disc Cases

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  Disc cases that are too hard to get the disc out of.  Y'know what I'm talkin' about?  I'm talking about optical disc cases (CDs, DVDs, Blu-Ray), where the little center tab thing that holds the disc in is really difficult to pull the disc out of.  Some of them are total bullsh*t.  Like, some cases are so difficult to get the disc out of that I'm actually afraid of causing damage to the god damn disc.  I mean, you're suppose to be able to press the thing
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Episode 47 - YOU

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When I try to make a Grind My Gears post that's just supposed to be funny, and then everyone gets all serious on my ass, starts riding my back, starts gettin' all over my case, gets all up in my grill, and they go all, (*mocking tone*) "Maybe you wouldn't have such a problem with that thing if you just learned how to do it and stopped whining."  Suck all the fun out of my blog, why don't you.  So I guess what REALLY grinds my gears is... YOU, MLP FORUMS
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Episode 46 - Spa Jets

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When I'm at my gym, and people turn on the spa jets without askin' me.  Okay, hold on, there, chief.  Just cool yer jets, mm'kay?  Lemmie 'splain.  So, I go to my gym at night to swim when it's uncrowded, and I soak in the spa when I'm done.  Now, unlike most, I prefer the jets off.  Just don't like em.  I prefer the calm.  I find it much more relaxing.  Now, I'm perfectly okay with jet people having precedence.  So, if someone else wants the jets, I'll
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Episode 45 - It's That Time Again

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  The phrase "It's that time again."  Like, specifically, how they say that in commercials and ads and stuff.  "It's that time again!  Time to do your Christmas shopping!"  "It's that time again!  Time to get out your 4th of July barbecue sh*t!"  "It's that time again!  Time to go back-to-school shopping!"  "It's that time again!  Time to do your taxes!" It's always some time again.  Stop announcing that as if it's some marvelous, incredible, surpris
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Episode 44 - Gum

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When people stick their used gum wherever they please, like under tables, or all over the sidewalk.  Just ruins the world for everybody.  You inconsiderate sh*t.  And the same goes for cigarette butts.  Where the hell did smokers all get this idea that cigarette butts don't count as littering?  It's like this universal rule that you can just drop your cigarette butt wherever you happen to be standing, or just chuck it out the window wherever, and it's t
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Episode 43 - Asymmetrical AC Plugs

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When an AC plug has the asymmetrical tines where one if fatter than the other so you can only plug it in one way.  Why the hell the gotta do that?!!  Yeah, I know, I know: (*mocking voice*) "Maybe if you did some research and learned why, then you wouldn't have to come here and whine about it!"   Yeah, I know, I know: it's called polarized, and I don't frickin' care.  I don't care why they do it!  It's f*ckin' annoying!  And here's the reason I fin
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Episode 42 - Character Limits

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  Character limits.  Okay, this isn't just an "in general" kind of thing; I have a very specific case that requires a bit of explanation.  It's really good, I swear! Okay, so, I got my mom into video games a few years ago, and she has been playing through a bunch of Xbox 360 games.  She ran out of things to do on that system, and she really wants to play the new entries in her favorite franchises (Fallout, Red Dead, Farcry), so we decided to get her
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Episode 41 - When Ice Misbehaves

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When you're drinking something with ice, without a straw, and you get towards the end, and the ice kinda sticks together in the bottom of the glass, and then it suddenly dislodges and comes careening towards your mouth, and you can't act fast enough, and it hits you, and you get the drink all over your face, and some of the drink goes on either side of your mouth and dribbles down your face and onto your shirt. F*CK THAT SH*T, man.
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Episode 40 - Computer Upgrades

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When you purchase a new sweet-ass graphics card and a nice SSD and some sweet-ass RAM for your gaming computer, and then you install everything, and turn the 'puter on, but it doesn't boot.  The tower turns on, but the monitor stays black and just doesn't boot anything.  So you double check all connections and re-seat everything, but it doesn't help.  You already know everything should be compatible for your motherboard, so then you double check your sy
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Episode 39 - When Computers Can't Count

OMG, this one's the worst. Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When some computers and devices can't count properly.  Okay, so if you're titling a bunch of files, and you number them, and then you sort by name, you'd expect them to appear in numerical order, right?  I mean, that's how it works.  Like, if you're using Windows, and you have a folder full of pictures from your camping trip, you can select all of them, and retitle the first one "Camp", and then it will automatically retitle al
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Episode 38 - What I Know in my Heart

Hey.  So this one is probably going to ruffle a few feathers, rattle a few cages, frazzle a few manes, steam a few hams, refry a few beans.  Don't take it too seriously, k? Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When people refer to the heart as if it knows and feels things.  Y'know, they say "heart" when they really mean "brain".  This is just leftovers from a time when we actually thought that the heart was the emotion center.  We obviously know this isn't true.  I don't need to explain any
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Episode 37 - Keeping the Whole Class After

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  So, you ever been in class in high school, and the bell rings, but the teacher keeps the whole class after because of a couple of unruly students who were misbehaving?  Oh, and then they give you the ol' "the bell doesn't dismiss you; I do!" bullsh*t.  Isn't that cute?  So, it should go without saying that punishing innocents for the crimes of others is by definition one of the most unjust things you could possibly do.  But that aside for the moment, do
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Episode 36 - Tearing Toilet Paper

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When you try to tear one square of toilet paper, and it doesn't tear neatly along the perforated line, and it shreds and makes a mess, and a cloud of paper dust poofs up into the air.  Man, f*ck that sh*t. Well, that was a short one. 
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Episode 35 - Sexist Haircuts

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  The fact that most hair salons charge different prices for men's and women's cuts.  What the f*ck is that bullsh*t?!  Every salon that I've seen charges more for women's, the justification being that women's haircuts are more difficult.  What the f*ck is that bullsh*t?!  I realize that may be true much of the time, but it's completely unfair to charge based on sex.  Charged based on actual difficulty!  What if a woman has short hair and an easy cut, and
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Episode 34 - THE. MOST. ANNOYING. THING. EVER.

Hey.  Y'know what REALLY.  GRINDS.  MY.  GEARS???!!!  That stupid thing they do in movie trailers or other such ads where display some epic teaser text or tagline or phrase to get you all pumped up, and they separate each word with some epic explosions and quick cuts of epic things from the movie.  You know what I'm talkin' about.  It's like, some big blockbuster event type movie, like Endgame or something, and they do these quick, dramatic cuts, and in between the shots, they slams the words in
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Episode 33 - Oblivious Pedestrians

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  Pedestrians that are f*cking oblivious to traffic.  Y'know, people that just cross the street and walk in front of cars without checking or looking up.  Often times they're fixated on their phones, but sometimes they don't even have a phone and they're just staring at the ground or something.  What the f*ck is wrong with you?!  Do you want to die??  Is that it??  Is this a suicide attempt?? The worst, the absolute worst, is when people just meander
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Episode 32 - Drink Machine Sputtering

Hey. Y'know what really grinds my grears?  When fountain drink machines sputter and spew out a bunch of foam.  One of my first entries was about digital drink machines.  Now I return to complain about drink machines again.  I frickin' hate it when you're filling your soda, and part-way through, the machine coughs and sputters and vomits out some foam or clear liquid with no syrup.  You can't just shrug it off and keep filling.  It ruins the whole mixture.  The entire soda will taste bitter.
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Episode 31 - Hock-a-Loogie

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  Public spitting.  Y'know, when people hock loogies on the ground in public.  Now, I used be a long distance runner, and I understand how it is for athletes.  I understand that spitting is sometimes kinda necessary, so I try not to judge too harshly when it comes to athletes, or possibly someone with some kind of health problem, doing it in the dirt, off the pavement.  But that's not what I'm talkin' about.  I'm talkin' about someone who just gets out of
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Episode 30 - Talking CGI Infections

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  These talking, CGI infections on tv commercials that are used to try to sell medications.  You know what I'm talking about. I'm talkin' bout this sh*t. Yeah.  The Mucinex mucus guy. Or this sh*t: So f*ckin' disgusting.  Sometimes you see versions where the toenails themselves are CGI characters with sad faces and they talk and complain about their fungus or whatever. WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!  What sick, t
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Episode 29 - Wha? Bruh.

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  Incoherence online. Despite having extreme social anxiety irl, I've always prided myself on my powers of articulation, and that includes in cyberspace.  I do my best to communicate clearly, but everywhere I go online, people talk with such broken, fragmented slang that much of time I have no frigging clue what they're trying to say.  I'll just state for the record that I love slang, be it internet-specific abbreviations, or general slang, but I alw
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Episode 28 - Not the End

Hey.  This is a preemptive Grind My Gears.  (For all the good it will do.) Y'know what's really gonna grind my gears?  With S9 being the confirmed end of FIM, I just know that the whole year will be absolutely filled with people saying things like, "I can't believe it's all going to end!  The ride is over!  The fandom's over!  It's all gone!  The past nine years, gone!  No more Pony!  That's it, everyone!  Say your goodbyes!  It's been fun; so long!"  and such and such. When I hear tha
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