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About this blog

Where I talk about all the stupid stuff that annoys me.

Entries in this blog

Episode 33 - Oblivious Pedestrians

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  Pedestrians that are f*cking oblivious to traffic.  Y'know, people that just cross the street and walk in front of cars without checking or looking up.  Often times they're fixated on their phones, but sometimes they don't even have a phone and they're just staring at the ground or something.  What the f*ck is wrong with you?!  Do you want to die??  Is that it??  Is this a suicide attempt?? The worst, the absolute worst, is when people just meander
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Episode 32 - Drink Machine Sputtering

Hey. Y'know what really grinds my grears?  When fountain drink machines sputter and spew out a bunch of foam.  One of my first entries was about digital drink machines.  Now I return to complain about drink machines again.  I frickin' hate it when you're filling your soda, and part-way through, the machine coughs and sputters and vomits out some foam or clear liquid with no syrup.  You can't just shrug it off and keep filling.  It ruins the whole mixture.  The entire soda will taste bitter.
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Episode 31 - Hock-a-Loogie

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  Public spitting.  Y'know, when people hock loogies on the ground in public.  Now, I used be a long distance runner, and I understand how it is for athletes.  I understand that spitting is sometimes kinda necessary, so I try not to judge too harshly when it comes to athletes, or possibly someone with some kind of health problem, doing it in the dirt, off the pavement.  But that's not what I'm talkin' about.  I'm talkin' about someone who just gets out of
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Episode 30 - Talking CGI Infections

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  These talking, CGI infections on tv commercials that are used to try to sell medications.  You know what I'm talking about. I'm talkin' bout this sh*t. Yeah.  The Mucinex mucus guy. Or this sh*t: So f*ckin' disgusting.  Sometimes you see versions where the toenails themselves are CGI characters with sad faces and they talk and complain about their fungus or whatever. WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!  What sick, t
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Episode 29 - Wha? Bruh.

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  Incoherence online. Despite having extreme social anxiety irl, I've always prided myself on my powers of articulation, and that includes in cyberspace.  I do my best to communicate clearly, but everywhere I go online, people talk with such broken, fragmented slang that much of time I have no frigging clue what they're trying to say.  I'll just state for the record that I love slang, be it internet-specific abbreviations, or general slang, but I alw
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Episode 28 - Not the End

Hey.  This is a preemptive Grind My Gears.  (For all the good it will do.) Y'know what's really gonna grind my gears?  With S9 being the confirmed end of FIM, I just know that the whole year will be absolutely filled with people saying things like, "I can't believe it's all going to end!  The ride is over!  The fandom's over!  It's all gone!  The past nine years, gone!  No more Pony!  That's it, everyone!  Say your goodbyes!  It's been fun; so long!"  and such and such. When I hear tha
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Episode 27 - Servers Not Writing Orders Down

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When waiters/waitresses/servers don't write your order down.  You ever get one of these jokers?  What, are we supposed to impressed?  Are you so proud of your memory that you want to show it off?  You think we'll be so impressed by your astounding memory that you'll get a bigger tip?  Is that it?  Well guess what?  Every single time I've had a server do this, they either get stuff wrong and I have to send the food back, and/or they come back to the tabl
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Episode 26 - Metro Exodus & The Epic Store

Today's entry will be a little different.  With Grind My Gears, I usually stick to more global things about society that bother me, or silly everyday type stuff that can bother anyone.  I usually do more timeless stuff, not current news cycle stuff that has more of a narrow window of relevancy.  But this is just too important.  This needs to be said now. You know what really, really, REALLY grinds my gears?!  Today I popped onto Steam, and I saw a news headline that Steam is having a midwee
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Episode 25 - Sex-Specific Colors

Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears?  Sex-specific colors.  Y'know, this blue for boys and pink for girls sh*t.  Why is this so ingrained in our culture?  They're just freakin' colors.  Reflected wavelengths of light.  They don't have anything to do with one sex or the other.  Anyone can like any color they want. One of the best examples of this is when I go self-serve frozen yogurt shops.  Every one I've ever been to has green and pink spoons.  Or sometimes it's blue and purple. 
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Episode 24 - "Manscaping"

Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears?  "Manscaping".  Oh, ho, ho!  Hold on, there, chief--it's prolly not what you think!  I'm not talking about men shaving body hair; I'm talking about the term.  See, I'm male, and I myself shave my body hair, including legs, because I like the way it looks and feels much better.  So why's it gotta have this stupid term?!  MANscaping.  Pffft.  Why does it need this "man" prefix, as if to emphasize the fact that it's weird or wrong or something.  Why cal
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Episode 23 - Cables Want to Go the Wrong Way

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  How the cords and cables for electronic devices never want to go the right way.  Don't know what I'm talking about?  Oh, I'm sure you do.  Let me just explain it.  Every time I try to plug in a device cable that is unidirectional, meaning it has to be oriented the correct way, like a standard USB connector, or HDMI, the cord always "wants" to go the wrong way.  The cables always have a "natural" position, an orientation that they naturally "want" to be
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Episode 22 - Itching & Scratching

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When people use the word "itch" when they mean "scratch".  I hear this all the time.  Y'know, like when people say "I itched my mosquito bite."  "My leg itches so I itched it."  No, no, no, NO, NO.  You had an itch, so you scratched it.  You don't itch something that itches.  You scratch it.  Scratching is what you do to an itch.  Look it up.  Learn the difference.  
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Episode 21 - Spit Takes

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When characters on tv spit out liquid in surprise.  Y'know, spit takes. Okay, it was kinda funny here, just because it's Pinkie and they had a self-aware sort of sense of humor about it.  But in general, spit takes annoy me.  Nobody actually does that in real life!  It never happens!  At least, I've never seen it happen.  I knew a guy who would spit out liquid from laughing (boy did we have some fun with that in high school), but I've never
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Episode 20 - Preemptive Piecemeal Reviews

Y'know what really grinds me gears?  When people jump on the forums to review new episodes in pieces before they've seen the whole thing.  Y'know, they make a post reviewing the cold open, then they go back and watch the show, then they jump on here and review act 1 up to the commercial break, they complain about things that haven't even happened yet, and may or may not even happen, then go back to the show, then jump back on the forums and review act 2, and so on.  And each piece is a completel
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Episode 19 - "Retro" Games

Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When people call a game old, dated, or retro just because it's like two friggin' years old.  Maybe it's just me, but I have a pretty wide range of what I consider "modern" when it comes to games.  When I think old and retro, I think 8 and 16 bit Nintendo era or older.  The other day I saw some website talking about Halo 3 as being a "retro classic".  I know it probably just makes me sound like an old fogey, but Halo 3 is not a retro classic.  I'm sorry, it's
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Episode 18 - F*ck dis Sh*t

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  The constant, casual profanity in modern American culture.  Now, let's just slow down a second here, and let me make something perfectly clear: I love profanity, I don't think it's inherently bad, and I have nothing against it, generally speaking.  Matter of fact, I think it adds a lot of color and humor to life.  I mean, imagine how dull AVGN and MLP Totally Legit Recap would be without it!  It can just add such nice flair or emphasis.  So, what annoys
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Episode 17 - Audience Hollering When Characters Kiss

Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When two characters kiss on a sitcom and the audience goes, "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWW!!!!!!!!!!"  That is so f*ckin' obnoxious and juvenile.  I think that audience members that go, "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWW!!!!!!!!!!" should be beaten with a bag of doorknobs.
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Episode 16 - Things Cut Out on TV

Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When they cut stuff out on TV.  I'm not talking about censoring, I'm talking about when they remove whole chunks of shows or movies for time.  I just watched the first Equestria Girls with my mom because she'd never seen it, and they cut the entire "Strange New World" song from the movie!!  The whole f*ckin' thing, GONE!  POOF!  Nowhere to be seen.  What the f*ck, man?!  That should be illegal!  I don't care if you have to put it in a bigger time slot to make
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Episode 15 - Movie Trailers Today

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  You notice how they never show movie trailers on tv anymore?  They used to show legit trailers back in the day, and it got me all excited for movies.  Now, the only way you see movies advertised on tv is when they pair it with some other product.  I know you know what I'm talkin' about.  They show an add for a f*ckin car or a fast food burger, and then show some movie character shoehorned into the ad, or maybe they show some idiot suburban family drivin
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Episode 14 - Movie Line Reversal Thing

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  That cliché gag they do in movies where one character says a line early in the movie, and then another character says the line back later, reversing it in some way.  Sometimes it's a "ha ha, gotcha back" kinda thing, and sometimes it's a cheesy learning learning experience.  Heh, maybe you have no idea what I'm talking about.  You'll instantly get it with a couple examples: It's like in Man of Steel when Faora is about to kill the military guy and
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Episode 13 - Tunafish

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When people say "tunafish" instead of just "tuna".  I mean, why add the phylum?  As opposed to what other kind of tuna?  Are there furry tuna with four legs running around on land?  It's like, "Hey, I'll have the turkeybird sandwich," or "Our burgers are made with 100% angus beefmammal."  I mean, what's the deal?
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Episode 12 - Dabbing

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?   Dabbing.  Like, why the f*ck is that a thing?  I didn't even know what it was for a long time.  I kept seeing it popping up on youtube, I kept seeing the word plastered all over comments, people seemed obsessed with it, so I finally googled it to find out what it is.  Okay, so it's a dance move.  Fine.  But why has it exploded into a cultural sensation and internet meme?!  Apologies if you like it, but it just seems so pointless to me!  Like, it's fine
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Episode 11 - Time Change

Hey. Y'know what really grind my gears?  The frigging time change.  Y'know, daylight savings and all that crap.  I mean, who needs this sh*t?  It serves no purpose anymore.  The days get longer in summer, anyway.  There's plenty of time for barbecues or whatever the sh*t.  Time changes are frickin' awful.  Does anyone actually like having to f*ck up their schedule?!  Be tired, lose sleep, be late for work, be all screwed up for days.  It's the f*ckin' pits.  It's the worst, man.  I'm so sic
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Episode 10 - Door Jam

Y'know what really grinds my gears? When you're going through a door to a business and people veer away from their own door to go through yours.  Okay, I sound like a frickin' lunatic.  Let me explain this more slowly.  Okay, so you're heading towards a business entrance that has several sets of double doors.  All doors go in both directions, not the kind where there are separate entrances and exits.  Someone else is on their way out.  They are heading for a different door.  You each reach
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Episode 9 - EG vs EQG

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears? This EQG thing.  ...what?  Oh, no, not the actual franchise.  No, I happen to be a big Equestria Girls fan.  Didn't used to be, but now I love it.  In fact, I denounced it pretty heavily in the beginning, so....I'm a big fat hypocrite, and I don't care.  Twilight cracked horn and I don't care.  I love Equestria Girls to pieces.  So sue me.  What grinds my gears is literally the abbreviation EQG.  Why the "Q"?  So, this is probably just an OCPD thing
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