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First off, I would like to apologise for being a little later than normal in getting my episode recap post ready. I've been in a bit of a teary state this morning which I'll get into why in just a bit. Also bare with me if my normal recap post sounds a bit off course. With that said, here we go. To quote from my tweet this morning: "Awwww....that episode really hit home. It cover the unmentionable subject and did it with style! I'm teary eyed here!" There are only a few words to describe what I felt about the episode and they are short but sweet. I tried to come up with a in-depth explanation on why this episode made me emotional, but I can sum it up in four simple words. For me, this episode was Emotional. Touching. Heartbreaking and Heartwarming. I went into the episode thinking that Tank will do his hibernation thing and that will be end of it without any major announcement, but for the episode to do a complete 360 degree u-turn and tackle the issue of death and grievance head on is something I wasn't expecting to have happen. When I saw Rainbow Dash start crying the first time round, I thought it was part of the episode being in the light hearted style that I was used to. But once Rarity and Pinkie got in on the act, I knew something wasn't right. But the realisation hit me when after the episode finished and I shut down the computers and turned the lights out and went to bed, I actually started to cry. I couldn't sleep for the life of me. Even holding a Fluttershy plushie couldn't make the tears stop. It wasn't for Tank and the hibernation, but I had the sudden realisation of what they actually did. The show staff did the impossible. That's right. They went there. They covered the issues of death, grievance and acceptance without us even knowing about it. An issue that I know all to well and experienced in my lifetime three times over. When I say that, this isn't something that I made up. I've been there and been though a lot and back. True and honest. I lost my Nan, my Pop and my grandma in a five to six year period. All of them were influential figures in my life, but my Nan was the spark that kept me going when I was certain to give up on life altogether during a rough patch in my life. When she died in 2009, a little piece of me died along with it. I was devastated when she passed away, I couldn't even think of saying goodbye at the time. I wasn't ready to "let go" of the past and look towards the future. I just couldn't do it. All this time during the episode, Rainbow Dash did exactly the same thing that I did. She wasn't ready for Tank to go into hibernation and did everything in her power to stop winter from happening, just like when I went off the rails a few months after my Nan passed and almost lost everything including my job, my friends and my life in general. The death of someone, especially a close family member or relative is very difficult to comprehend or understand. I didn't know that at the time, but after seeing Rainbow Dash in the same situation as myself, it broke my heart. It made me cry. It brought back the memories of the past. I could easily relate to what she was going through. That's it. Only words like these can describe the pain that I've been though in losing someone close. This episode pretty much hit home in a big way for me. Although I would like to do into more detail on my fulll thoughts of the episode, you can read on those on my blog which can be viewed here. The audio description version of the blog post and also a personal thoughts video is now also available:

I don't normally comment on episode preview clips or give my thoughts on the episode before it airs, but it seems this one might be tapping into the anger and PTSD territory for me. I am also getting vibes of "Rambo: First Blood" (the PTSD scene, not the gore) when I watch the clip for some reason. Let's hope the episode doesn't put me to the test too much tonight.

Ok. After writing 2000 plus words and many a paragraph plus my anxiety getting in the way, it's time for me to deliver my thoughts on the episode. A little late than usual, but I had a lot to write about on the blog from my own experiences with anxiety that it took a little longer than first planned to publish. To recap from my tweet this morning: "Well...that episode was something completely unexpected. It covered the anxiety issue perfectly. A great episode!" This episode for me was completely different that I thought it was. I thought it was going to go extremely dark and extremely deep and deal with the issue of anxiety in the style that the season premiere did, but it turned out to be a great episode that also went to lengths to cover the topic without having to go too dark in terms of the storyline. Sure it tested my anxiety, stress and PTSD to breaking point, but I actually enjoyed it despite being “shook up” as they say. There were some scenes that pushed me to the limits such as the later nightmare sequences with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle and when the Apple Family turned on Apple Bloom and disowned her. I couldn't get through these scenes without my PTSD, anxiety and stress getting in the way and having painful flashbacks of my early life (e.g. fighting with parents, bullying etc) also fuelling the tension. But despite the bad, there were a few scenes that actually warmed my heart a little. This included the scene where Sweetle Belle was on stage and about to sing. I can only imagine what Rarity must have been going through at that point in time and without getting a little overboard on this, I actually had a dream after watching the episode where Rarity ended up comforting a crying Sweetie Belle at the Carousel Boutique. In the end, I have to give the show staff credit for actually tackling this issue that no other show in it’s genre couldn’t touch. After this episode, I've got a good feeling that the Cutie Mark Crusaders might end up having their big moment soon enough. It may not be today, it might not be tomorrow or even a few years down the track, but when the time comes and it’s good and ready, I’ve got a good feeling that we will see history being made before our eyes. I have also have written my full thoughts on the episode itself on my blog, which can be viewed here. The audio description version of the blog post is now also available:

Wow. Now that was an episode I am pretty much proud to say that I have shed a tear or two during the live broadcast. To quote from my tweet this morning: "Awww...that was a heartfelt episode. In fact, In feeling very teary as I'm writing this. Can somepony get me a tissue?" This episode really hit home for me. I was left speechless for the entire duration of the program in seeing what Twilight and Spike had to go through after Tirek destroyed their home and the rebuilding process, trials, tribulations, heartbreak and in the end being overwhelmed by the new additions to make it a little more like their old home. The scene that made me a tad weepy was when Twilight and Spike returned to "ground zero" as I call it to see the damage first hand. Hearing the emotion in both Twilight and Spike's voices when they remembered the times and memories in that place was more than enough for me to cry a little bit. Apart from the tears there were also a few scenes that made me almost lost it in laughter, especially when it came to Rarity almost losing it after they tried to take down her decoration and design work. Also as a side note, I couldn't even come up with things to say during the live tweeting as the subject covered reflected some real world experiences that I had to deal with when I was younger: "Apologies for the lack of live tweets from me for this episode. It seems the storyline has also stuck a nerve for me." The final scene where Twilight was overwhelmed emotionally also struck a chord for me as it was a moving and emotional scene. Seeing the tears in Twily's eyes got me a bit choked up with the kind gesture the Mane 6 did. That right there is the true spirit of friendship. Bar none. So in summary, this episode for me is one for the ages. This is history book material. This is museum material. Heck, you can put this in the National Film and Sound Archive for many generations to come. But this episode really drove home some major points and in the process made many a fan appreciate what they have. I have also have written my full thoughts on the episode itself on my blog, which can be viewed here. There is also a audio described version of the blog post below:

As mentioned in the episode thread and also on the recap post on my blog, the one scene that creeped me out was the cutie unmarking scene. I couldn't even watch it without being physically sick and almost "losing my dinner" to put in a G-rated way. That particular scene also tested my PTSD, anxiety and stress disorders as well. While I won't go into full details, I had to turn away from my monitor and the audio of the episode was the only thing I was relying on and even that didn’t stop me from almost losing it. I can't figure out for the life of me why I almost got sick as I never felt that way before when I watched the show. The only other time this happened was when the Sweetie Belle episode aired last year and I couldn't even watch the dream sequence without having to turn away or mute the volume on my headphones.

Before I begin my recap and thoughts of the episode apologies if I'm bit late in posting this. I've had to write my usual episode recap blog post without getting sick again and I wasn't up to the challenge in writing a recap without having to think about a certain scene that almost made me lose my dinner. I'll get on to why a little bit later in this post, but let's get into the recap and thoughts of this episode. To quote my tweet from this morning: "Wow. What a ride. That season opener was an intense one! A great start to the new series!" This episode for me was a mixed bag. While I enjoyed the episode and the story, I couldn’t even think of going through with a second screening for a little while. Don’t get me wrong, I was really getting into the episode until “that” scene with the cutie un-marking happened. I couldn't watch that scene without my PTSD and anxiety getting in the way and I had to turn away from my monitor. I only had the audio of the episode to rely on for that segment and even that didn’t stop me from almost losing it. I never felt that way before when I watched the show and I am still wondering why it happened. However, I have to give credit to the show staff for actually going in that direction. I actually made a point about that on one of my tweets during the live screening: "This episode is dark. I don't mean dark in the form of night, but this has taken the series in a new direction." Overall, while I enjoyed the episode I won’t be seeing this one again any time soon. I have also have written my full thoughts on the episode itself on my blog, which can be viewed here.

My pre-show preparations for this season in terms of hardware are going to involve a two system setup (one for streams, the other for social media reactions as the episode airs) running Linux Mint. For me being in Australia means the episode goes to air at 2:00am, so I'll have a bit of a nap in the afternoon until dinner time and then I'll be staying up until the airing time. Got plenty of snacks and lemonade to keep me awake....